Another Fallen Angel

I use to use this blog...

2009-11-18T03:38:00.000-08:00

So exactly what the title says.

I use to this blog but I think its time for a change of address to somewhere where no one knows where it is so I can just vent... because I miss that. I miss writing my feelings down somewhere and not worrying if I am offending someone, or choosing my words carefully. So it will here for commemorative purposes, but other than that I may just write updates but the other blog will be my main place.

Its been years since I have been using this its a shame I have to move now but I think personally its for the best X x X

goodbye life I use to know... Hello to a daunting tomorrow.

2009-08-09T05:22:00.000-07:00

Another end of an era. I'm sad a bit.confused. Things are gonna be hard.

Life always throws these things at me but I just have to trust in the lord and not be afraid and I guess also to have no fear.

Miss you matty! Wish you were around gah!!

Come Home - onerepublic

2009-08-05T05:28:00.000-07:00

[Verse 1]
Hello world
Hope you're listening
Forgive me if I’m young
For speaking out of turn
There’s someone I’ve been missing
I think that they could be
The better half of me
They’re in the wrong place trying to make it right
But I’m tired of justifying
So i say you’ll..

[Chorus]
Come home
Come home
Cause I’ve been waiting for you
For so long
For so long
And right now there's a war between the vanities
But all i see is you and me
The fight for you is all I’ve ever known
So come home
Oh

[Verse 2]
I get lost in the beauty
Of everything i see
The world ain’t as half as bad
As they paint it to be
If all the sons
If all the daughters
Stopped to take it in
Well hopefully the hate subsides and the love can begin
It might start now..Yeahh
Well maybe I’m just dreaming out loud
Until then

[Interlude]
Everything i can’t be
Is everything you should be
And that’s why i need you here
Everything i can’t be
Is everything you should be
And that’s why i need you here
So hear this now

Song reminds me of matt. I want to transfer closer to him. I have nothing to lose, thats if I haven't already lost my sanity. I have dig in and survive this distance.
I'm so cold. I want him to make me smile like he does and laugh at the stupid things I say and do. Running around like kids. kiss him while people watch because we are an interacial couple XD kick him in his butt, have him pick me up every 5 seconds, lay in bed watching films, tv shows and anime. Fall asleep in his arms, play with his hair and hold his hand while he drives and fall asleep on his lap while he drives too. Him feeding me randomly, licking frosting off his fingers and him saying "damnnnnn woman" hehe doing the dishes while he kisses my neck, the random stuff we did in the tent like play our ds's till we fell asleep. eat junk food nearly every morning. me making him tea and him calling it Tealk. The way he smiles at me every morning and kisses me not even caring about my morning breath XD when he stands behind me, watching me put on my makeup and asks me not to because apparently I'm beautiful without it. They way he looked into my eyes after kissing me and smiled, because words always went when he did. The fact that he is proud to have me as a gf, against all the odds he stayed with me.Kissing him while he filled up his car with gas and him letting me put the cap back on, knowing how clumsy I was would let me do it all the time anyway. The way he talks about the future, telling me the details asking about kids and looking forward to waking up every morning and me being there next to him. watching him look after the kids at the pool, that was one thing I can say was a turn on that shouldn't have been XD talking about conspiracy's and issues of the world and not getting bored. watching him watch me playing guitar hero and seeing that smile on his face.

Writing all of that made me realize how much I miss my baby, I have tears in my eyes while I type because I look back and see how happy I was with him and not really happy here without him. I think he's gonna walk through the door randomly or I'll go to sleep and wake up here and realize it was all just a dream and I am still with him.

I may feel cold right now, I can't wait to be by his side again to feel that all over again.

Blue Valley Songbird

2009-08-04T07:56:00.000-07:00

She was born in a place called blue valley
At the foot of the tennessee hills
With the blue birds and blue bells
And blue mountain water
And the sound of the blue whippoorwill
But there was no peace in the valley
Her daddy, a cruel, ruthless man
Used and abused her mind and her body
So her mama said run while you can
So at fifteen she took to the highway
Belongings and guitar in hand
And she buried herself in her music
The one thing she did understand
And she sings like a bird and she writes like a poet
Her voice has that high, lonesome sound
She hurts, and her songs are the best way to show it
So the blue valley songbird keeps traveling around
She hopes someday she will make it
And everyone says that she will
When she comes to town, crowds flock around
To see the girl from the tennessee hills
She writes her letter back home to her mama
In care of the preacher in town
Theyre sacred to her so she reads them at church
And so her daddy cannot track her down

And she sings like a bird and she cries like a baby
Whenever she turns off the lights
Shes a whole lot lonesome and a little bit crazy
From memries and miseries and dreams gone awry

Blue dress, blue shoes, a blue cadillac
A band dressed in blue by her side
Instruments tied to the top and the back
cause the blue valley songbird is singing tonight

One nighters, honky tonks, years flying by
She never made it, but lord knows she tries
Expressing the feelings she holds inside
And the blue valley songbird is singing tonight
Oh the blue valley songbird is singing tonight

And she sings like a bird and she writes like a poet

this song always touches my heart when I hear it... a tiny bit of it reminds me of me

let down by my sadness

2009-05-25T10:28:00.000-07:00

ever felt like you have been looking forward to a day for a long time and then when it comes along and you leave feeling hollow and empty inside. Well I had that on saturday.

On saturday I met up with danny and his best friend luke. Bringing along ashley with me. prior to this though I got in a very heated argument with matt who left me, pretty much hurt, upset and angry and from the time I had to go, I just couldn't shift the damn feeling. I was down to the point when I actually didn't want to go.

Ash was all excited and I wanted to be like that, but I just couldn't. I couldn't smile, laugh much or be happy. so I stood behind the camera, taking pictures, watching everyone laugh, jump in there and get the hugs and stuff and normally I would be all up for that, but because of the mood I was in I really couldn't bring myself to do it.

to pretend I was happy when I wasn't. to be honest at one point I felt like leaving. just leaving ash there with the guys and going home. its not like I wasn't enjoying myself. I did. but not as much as I could have if I didn't have a whinging bf/ex or whatever I call him right now.. moaning at me, making all these damn rules and just breaking me and training me like some sort of DOG. UUUUURRRRGGGGH.

So if that wasn't bad enough, dan then says "stop being so stuck up" and thats when it hit me. wait one sec that's what I am coming across as? I'm nothing like that.I'm normally the fun bubbly kind, that glomps everyone and is really down to earth, well I have been told anyway. so I tried to make an extra effort, hugging, getting in pictures and smiling, even though I didn't want to. I didn't want to ruin anyone's day.

So at the end of it, went to the toilets and talked to him and I just got angrier. more sad and depressed and was near enough near tears.

I did however cheer up a tiny bit when a girl had the sign saying please rape me on her back hehe

Overall, I came home feeling like crap. I'm pretty sure I made a wonderful impression on everyone (sarcasm) so I went out and got a tiny bit hammered. XD

so note to self... when you feel like shit... STAY THE FUCK AT HOME.

Sweet Silver Lining

2009-05-15T04:11:00.000-07:00

Im going home,
down-hearted and hoping Im close,
to some new beginning.
I know,
theres a reason for everything that comes and goes.

So many people are looking to me to be strong and to fight
but Im just surviving.
And I may be weak but Im never defeated
and Ill keep believing
in clouds with that sweet silver lining.

Most days I try
my best to put on a brave face
but inside my bones are cold and my heart breaks
but all the while, somethings keeping me safe and alive

So many people are looking to me to be strong and to fight
but Im just surviving.
And I may be weak but Im never defeated
and Ill keep believing
in clouds with that sweet silver lining.

I wont give up like this,
I will be given strength,
Now that Ive found it,
Oh nothing can take that away

So many people are looking to me to be strong and to fight
but Im just surviving.
And I may be weak but Im never defeated
and Ill keep believing
in clouds with that sweet silver lining.
~~Kate Voegele - Sweet Silver Lining~~

Heard this beautiful song during an episode of one tree hill... during one sexy Naley scene. When I get married I want to have a naley marriage, minus the problems XD

It describes how I feel right now, somehow its comforting. I will be strong for him, for myself and for my goal. This girl aint giving up without a fight. *smiles* this is how I have always been. the odds are always stacked against me and I struggle and I fight and I accomplish my goal and that's what I am going to do now.

This week has been good. Just exams, revising and watching amazing amounts of tv XD throughout this year my eyes barely graced a tv screen hehe ah well making up for lost time.

Nothing really that interesting to talk on so I guess I will end it there..

NALEY SCENE *W00T*

Music washes away from the soul the dust of everyday life. -Berthold Auerbach

2009-05-11T02:15:00.000-07:00

Bored again, my first exam is on wednesday. Ahhhhhhh 9:30. I'm so going to be late for my exam XD

but I'm starting to see the fruits of my starvation XDD JK JK but I am starting to look better.... lookies!!!

go me. Gotta get my ticket if I can for something, mcm expo coming up yay! and a few other things. I had a very weird dream last night haha would be very weird if that did happen XD

Also made this out of boredom. thought it look pretty good.

pretty overall boring entry but... ah well. x x

I am the master of my fate... I am the captain of my soul.

2009-05-04T10:25:00.001-07:00

So for all of you who didn't know... I'm trying to lose weight XD

I felt like it was something to do to pass the time XD nah, just getting tired of having extra rolls....soooo.... I made a little tickery thingy to show everyone how much weight I am losing. not like anyone cares or reads this but me, but I have decided to document this down, to motivate me so I can look back and go... holy crap... I've done it.

obviously haven't done it right now... but so far lost 35lbs that 2 stones and a half and counting hehe. Don't worry I aint close to being a stick yet, however I have got pics of me in a skirt... and short one...with no tights XD *gasps*

As promised:

as you can see my mid section still needs work but I'm getting there... I'm halfway. yay!!!

Matty, the boy who makes sense of my nonesense!! hehe

things have been good just been preparing for my exams... not scared just gonna go in there, kick its ass and have celebratory sushi wid ma boys XD

Been checking out music of recent... thought I need to update my library.. new bands that I'm thinking.. yeah bitch this is guuuuud to.

Onerepublic: everyone has probably heard this album, if you haven't please don't hesitate. This mans vocals are amazing and there sound is awesome too, very powerful at times... love it.

Fireflight: Favourite song is liar, if only I knew this song a while back I would have dedicated it to a few people in my life. This is a christian rock album, but don't let that stop you, it reaches out to you beyond the boundaries of religion. Its an amazing album and a woman with some damn good lungs.

Heather Nova: Redbird and South Albums. My gosh woman, if you were a man I would screw you just for your music talent XDD jk jk these two albums are on par with sarah mclachlan's albums. If you are a fan of her, then please skip on over to Heather Nova. Its only love, This body, waste the day... amazing songs with many other tracks that lovable. Must have albums... could not stop listening to them for daaaayyyysss.

K I'm done... hmm when I drop maybe a bit more I might update. hehe.

oh if you are wondering where I got the title for my blog entry its from an amazing poem written by William E. Henley called Invictus.

OUT of the night that covers me,
Black as the Pit from pole to pole,
I thank whatever gods may be
For my unconquerable soul.

In the fell clutch of circumstance
I have not winced nor cried aloud.
Under the bludgeonings of chance
My head is bloody, but unbowed.

Beyond this place of wrath and tears
Looms but the Horror of the shade,
And yet the menace of the years
Finds, and shall find, me unafraid.

It matters not how strait the gate,
How charged with punishments the scroll,
I am the master of my fate:
I am the captain of my soul.

Oh mother.

2009-03-29T08:42:00.001-07:00

No matter what we go through,and are going through now I remember that you have kept me stronger and made me a stronger human to face all the things that crossed my path. I didn't understand things and was angry at you, but now I understand and still you are the most amazing woman to grace my life. Thankyou x

Whoa, oh, yeah,

She was so young with such innocent eyes
She always dreamt of a fairytale life
And all the things that your money can't buy
She thought that he was a wonderful guy
Then suddenly, things seemed to change
It was the moment she took on his name
He took his anger out on her face
She kept all of her pain locked away

Oh mother, we're stronger
From all of the tears you have shed
Oh mother, don't look back
Cause he'll never hurt us again

So mother, I thank you
For all that you've done and still do
You got me, I got you
Together we always pull through
We always pull through
We always pull through
Oh mother, oh mother, oh mother

It was the day that he turned on the kids
That she knew she just had to leave him
So many voices inside of her head
Saying over and over and over,
"You deserve much more than this."

She was so sick of believing the lies and trying to hide
Covering the cuts and bruises (cuts and bruises)
So tired of defending her life, she could have died
Fighting for the lives of her children

Oh mother, we're stronger
From all of the tears you have shed (all of the tears you have shed)
Oh mother, don't look back
Cause he'll never hurt us again (he'll never hurt us again)

So mother, I thank you (thank you)
For all that you've done and still do (still do)
You got me, I got you, (yeah you got me and I got you)
Together we always pull through.
Oh mother, oh mother, oh mother

All of your life you have spent
burying hurt and regret
But mama, he'll never touch us again

For everytime he tried to bring you down
Just remember who stood around
It's over, and we're stronger
And we'll never have to go back again

Oh mother, we're stronger
From all of the tears you have shed
Oh mother, don't look back (oh mother don't look back again)
Cause he'll never hurt us again (cause he'll never hurt us again)

So mother, I thank you (and I thank you for all that you've done)
For all that you've done and still do (together we always move on)
You got me, I got you, (you got me, I got you)
Together we always pull through (always pull through)
We always pull through
We always pull through

I love you mom

Christina Aguilera - Oh mother

You're gonna save me from myself

2009-02-19T15:40:00.000-08:00

Recently, life has been good.Uni work is getting more and more and my sleep is getting less and less, but for some reason I can still smile and be like yay!!! life is gooood!

This year I wanted to switch it up a bit so I am going to America for an internship. Yeah I know... so 2 months in the sun, with great people and then back here to possibly take resits well if I need to that is.

Strangely lost more weight... not intended, but it happened. However after to losing it, I am slowly but surely putting it back on. I think its my love of walking home after a long day at uni ... my hours are now 9 -6 (Yeah I know ...painful) and talking with my mates and chomping down into a good old tasty whopper burger from bk which is conveniently right next to the train station. So maybe I might want to lay off the burgers for a bit XD

planning to go and see Inme in april and also see danny on saturday although I may have to cancel that due to some problems. I only wish for 3DD to stop back around and go on tour in the uk again they were amazing, when I saw them live last year, I got to hug Brad... good times. Shame I am going to miss download this year, I heard they are considering it, along with inme and brigade.

I found pictures of the past yesterday and strangely I stuck them on the wall... they made me smile, brought back warm memories that I thought I had lost, because of all the stuff that has happened. I haveth a picture wally now, well technically a scrap book but the wall version XD So far, really prettiful.

To many pictures of hubby (matt) up there though, might need to take some down XD I've been eying a rather smexy SLR cam though, it will be minnnnnnneee! My shots are improving, more than I thought they ever would! Wouldn't mind getting more interesting shots, but I guess I just have to be paying more attentions to my surroundings... and for those who know me, when I am running my mouth that rarely happens. I will step out in roads with on coming cars, I will walk right in to lamp posts XD

Okay so I am rambling on and have nothing to say, so I'm just gonna end it there. I might write something else.. when I find time and patience to do so and for people who are still reading this... HAVE YOU NO LIVES?! xD kidding love ya all you smexy people and I'm out *poofs* *comes back* like magic biznatches like magic *poofs again*

Snow day... monster snowman!!!

FABLE 2!!! BUY!!! PLAY!!! BE HAPPPPY!!!

I swear I must be on something. I know what I am on, but I'm not telling XD *weird* shutting up now!

El beso del final

2008-12-20T15:41:00.000-08:00

So I was mind numbingly bored today (first time in a while) and basically decided to have a movie night. So it was just me, my laptop, some food and youtube XD

So I decided a classic.. dirty Dancing and then decided to watch dirty dancing 2. I have seen it before, but that was while I was out of my head drunk and not really playing attention lol..

Sooooo its not as good as the original, but it was good in its own way. The end however sucked so hard I wanted to beat the director and script writer myself XD
One song that did stick out to me from the whole movie was Christina Aguilera's El beso del final. Damn she made that song so passionate, such a smexual song! The translated words(which I usually call the buothering of ones language) is sad but the song is just so pretty. Want proof? Watch, listen and learn.

Other updates...

My christmas is rather active this year. Recently, well since my mum and dad's divorce I have just been lounging around the house and maybe delivering one or two cakes for my mum... not really doing anything to be honest. This year however I have been invited to 3 parties and a dinner. Then on New Years I may be on the Thames on a boat party *w00t* talking about bringing it in with style.
However last year bringing it in with people at church was pretty fun too I guess.

btw another thing... I dunno what all this hype about twilight is about! its an okayish movie, nothing too great a few pretty runs up a tree, a bit of glittery skin, human vampire *bored voice* woo. You are much better off watching buffy the vampire slayer the series XD

Things to watch: Dance with Me - all I gotta say is damn!!
Vampire knight - for all anime lovers and for those who question anime, if its worth watching. I dare you to give this anime a try, because I tell ya now, you wont be able to stop XD

Anyway I'm off to make my board christmas banner and maybe do a photomanip while I'm at it. Feel free to check out my artwork so far *>>>>> Cordie's Artwork of magical goodness<<<<<*

For all the things you do.. may God have mercy on you smiles

2008-12-10T08:35:00.000-08:00

To one person (oh what the hell... to Jasmine Palmer),

You are humorous beyond all belief. When I hung out with you, you were never this funny! But now I don't, you are nothing but a mere joke to me.

I'm so glad you make me laugh.

Much love, hugs, Blessings and kisses

Corinne x

K... jackage.

2008-12-06T09:47:00.001-08:00

So we have all heard of high school musical... yes that film that I could beat people for watching.

*sniggers* Well I present to its christian rip off Sunday school music... Yes that's right kids sunday school musical. LMAO!

Couldn't they have thought up a different title, or changed the way it was projected in the trailer. Its just too funny.

This almost reminds me of the film harry putar XD

before I Slice you like government cheese lol

2008-11-29T16:03:00.000-08:00

Just gotta say that I would definately Tap that ten times over XD

Just finished watching Bring it on: in it to win it. Its an okay film, its one of those don't have to use your brain to understand it, it was... entertaining though.

Today I feel... Happy
Reading... Under a Blood red sky by Kate Furnivall. Awesome book..and I'm only a tiny bit through it.
Listening to... All the same by Sick puppies on my new gorgeous Creative Zen Xfi.The song on that thing is amazing and its so tiny.
Secondary feeling... Love, Dammmit!I despise this feeling...go away I say XD
Plan for tomorrow... Clean, shop, walk,get 'round to watching the end of twilight Nothing fun really its sunday!
one thing to achieve during the week... To attend a full week of uni! since the start of the year it hasn't been done. So I need to do it XD For a girl who coated through last year and got best grades in the class for law and quants.. jeez imagine what would happen if I actually tried XD.

I have dishes to clean and close my eyes and not think of tuesday...

x x x

The Mcpherson Magic

2008-11-28T14:18:00.000-08:00

Just have to praise Dave for his live performances. They are amazing. Faster the chase Acoustic version had me feeling that song again. Damn I want those chords xD Just listen and watch the man make magic.

Faster The Chase Acoustic

Turbulence

and this one is for Kaz to remember those days when she fancied the pants off of dave.

More reasons why Dave is awesome...XD he invents ways to drink and play at the same time!

K I'm done.

We break hearts, Not Hymens

2008-10-23T12:12:00.000-07:00

"The Thing About Love"

Love
Love will come find you
Just to remind you
Of who you are

Oh love
It will forsake you
Threaten to break you
Take what you got

Everybody laughs
Everybody cries
Sure it could hurt you baby
But give it a little try
See that's the thing about love

Friends
Sometimes will blind you
Sneak up behind you
You cant give enough

Then life
It will embrace you
Totally amaze you
So you don't give up

Everybody laughs
Everybody cries
Sure it could hurt you baby

But give it a little try
See that's the thing about love

Don't tell me that I'm not the only that's going through it all
Oh sometimes I feel like I'm the only that's going through it all
But its time
Oh its time
For me to shine
Hey
Its my time
Oh its time
For me to shine

Its my time
Said its my time
For me to shine
Its my time
Its bout time
For me to shine

Everybody laughs
Everybody cries
Sure it could hurt u baby
But give it a little try
That's the thing about love
That's the thing about love
That's the thing about
That's the thing about love

~~Alicia Keys - The thing about love~~

Listening to country songs of my past

2008-10-19T12:05:00.000-07:00

Strange! today I found my self online getting songs from my parents past and one of these songs means something to me too. When I listened to them somehow I was comforted... not that I needed comfort, but I just felt at ease it was a nice feeling.

There's a time in the morning when I feel a cold chill
And I try and forget what I know.
It amazes me Darling, how your words haunt me still
Though they're spoken so long ago.

'Cause Nothing Can Hurt You
Nothing Can Hurt You
No one can hurt you
Like someone you love.

Well I finally got over the words that you said
That were spoken in anger to me
Well the words lose their power, but they're never quite dead.
You'll forget them, but you can't forget me.

'Cause Nothing Can Hurt You
Nothing Can Hurt You
No one can hurt you
Like someone you love.

Why do we do it? What can we gain
By hurting each other so bad?
Every time we go through it, it turns out the same
Left over from a love that don't last

There's a time in the morning when I roll back to sleep
'Cause I don't want to remember our past
It amazes me, Darling, how the heartaches we keep
Left over from a love that don't last

'Cause Nothing Can Hurt You
Nothing Can Hurt You
No one can hurt you
Like someone you love.

Nothing Can Hurt You
Nothing Can Hurt You
No one can hurt you
Like someone, someone you love.

~~Ricky Skaggs - Nothing can hurt you~~

If I could only win your love
I'd make the most of everything
I'd proudly wear your wedding ring
My heart would never stray when you're away

If I could only win your love
I'd give my all to make it live
You'll never know how much I give
If I could only win your love

Oh how can I ever say
How I crave your love when your gone away
Oh how can I ever show
How I burn inside when you hold me tight

If I could only win your love
I'd give my all to make it live
You'll never know how much I give
If I could only win your love

Oh how can I ever say
How I crave your love when your gone away
Oh how can I ever show
How I burn inside when you hold me tight

If I could only win your love
I'd give my all to make it live
You'll never know how much I give
If I could only win your love

~~Emmylou Harris - If I could only win your love~~

My parents use to dance to 'if I could only win your love' by emmylou harris all the time and I danced with someone to this song too. In a way I miss seeing them dancing together... even though I know most of the happy times I remember in my family were fake, when they use to dance somehow I use to see that they cared about each other. Everyone always use to stop and stare at them dancing because they looked so cute dancing and because they could dance to country.. hehe...just thought I would take everyone down a trip of my memory lane

Brighter Skies Are Coming...

2008-09-21T11:42:00.000-07:00

Hey don't cry, the night is almost through
And I'll be here to hold and comfort you
Sometimes you'll look out on dark and stormy skies
But darling remember the sun will always rise
And bring the light, and bring the light

Life will take you through many endless nights
And you may struggle with pain and loss sometimes
But as long as you are humble
And you stay true inside
Come what may the sun will always rise
And bring the light, and bring the light

Mountains will make it harder
Dark clouds will make you doubt
But you'll get through
And when I can't be with you
This ray of hope I give to you

So hey don't cry, the night is almost through
And I'll be here to hold and comfort you
Though sometimes you'll look out on dark and stormy skies
darling remember, the sun will always rise
And bring the light, and bring the light

- Heather - ~~The Sun Will Always Rise~~

hehe funny screen shot

2008-08-31T02:25:00.000-07:00

Screen shot

Leo 'aka' Danny and Emmy 'aka' Emily did this after I asked Ems to make this sign... hehehe and I had to take a screen shot of it. it was fun.

Mood: Slightly down
Looking foward to today: Eating
Hates: *shakes fist* today... a lot.
Likes: The thought of sitting down and writing something meaningful (Haven't done that in a while.
eating: Nothing
Drinking: Nothing
Planned for today: Shopping, eating, Imvu (if I can), writing, Finishing off a product and some writing.
Long time no see: Chicken lmao
Thing you wished you owned today: Intel's new technological development running certain electrics without cables. Wireless electricity. *w00ts* do you know how much easier using the hoover would be and the wires at the back of our tv would be non existent... ah the joy.
Wish for tomorrow: To hide hahaha and maybe produce some good photomanips... oh and to finish my chain. is that it? oh for a sunny day because the weather outside is crap.

No more DOA SNIFFS

2008-08-24T13:24:00.000-07:00

Statement

I, Tomonobu Itagaki, hereby announce that on the 14th of May 2008 I filed a complaint in the Tokyo District Court against Tecmo Co., Ltd. for unpaid completion bonuses, and against the President of Tecmo, Yoshimi Yasuda, for such unlawful acts as unreasonable and disingenuous statements made towards me, claiming damages in total of 148 million yen. I also announce that this complaint was delivered to the defendants on May 22nd of the same year.

In addition, I hereby announce that I have today submitted a letter of resignation to Tecmo Co., Ltd. stating that I will resign as of the 1st of July, 2008.

Before the start of development on DEAD OR ALIVE 4, Tecmo Co., Ltd. had agreed to pay a completion bonus to me for this Xbox 360 title, which I produced. However, when the time came for the actual payment, Tecmo Co., Ltd. went against its previous agreement and refused payment. President Yoshimi Yasuda chose not only to violate this agreement, but also turned defiant, telling me “if you are dissatisfied with the decision not to pay the bonuses, either quit the company or sue it.” In addition, he made demeaning remarks about me to my subordinates and colleagues, causing me significant emotional distress and worsening my personal relationships and work environment. Thus, I have no choice but to resign from Tecmo Co., Ltd.

The conduct of Tecmo Co., Ltd. and its president Yoshimi Yasuda towards me has been unbefitting of a publicly-listed company.

I have filed this lawsuit with a strong intent to question the social responsibility of Tecmo Co., Ltd. and its President Yoshimi Yasuda, as well as condemning them for their unjust acts. Today, in addition to announcing the reasons for this lawsuit, I make clear my reasons for resigning.

To All Game Fans

I truly feel sorry to all the fans of the games I have made. NINJA GAIDEN 2, which will launch on the 3rd of June will be the last NINJA GAIDEN I will create. I will also never be able to make DEAD OR ALIVE 5. I regret the circumstances that have forced me to leave Tecmo, where I had worked for so many years, and I regret the disappointment this will cause my fans.

However, I can no longer continue to work with President Yoshimi Yasuda, a man who chooses not to honor promises even when he is able to do so.

I truly hope that nothing like this happens again in the future.

Tecmo Co., Ltd. Creative Officer

Leader, Team NINJA

Tomonobu Itagaki

*GETS DOWN ON HER KNEES AND AS THE CAMERA PANS OUT STARTS SCREAMING* NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO
OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO
OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO
OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO
OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO

SCREW YOU TECMO

NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO
OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO
OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO
OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO

Okay I'm done now.

Filthy Dirty Disgusting Brutal Bottom-Feeding Trash Bag HOOOOOEE! / I'm cancelling this subscription because you have to many issues.

2008-08-16T13:13:00.000-07:00

LOL the title came straight from Chris Jericho. Sorry I was just reliving the good days on youtube today.

Today I'm angry, annoyed... about everything its a strange feeling. I have been snapping at anyone and everyone. I'm tired my head hurts due to the bright lights in the office. I feel uncomfortable in general.

dunno what it is to be honest.

I'm on the bad side of poor too lol.. not that that matters.I'm antisocial... hmmm something I never knew I could be, but of recent I have been embracing this lifestyle and I find it fits me more.

Being by myself, spending time with me, less interaction with people. hmm however it has made me unapproachable. Then again me being unapproachable is yet again not a bad thing... more time in my own company.

Hmm.. maybe non existant, maybe I wish merely not to exist anymore. Wow that sounded rather emo *looks up at her fringe* you are doing this to me aren't you.

I have a new project I plan to pursue, I dunno if its going to work out. Not going to mention it however until I know for definate. Its sounds like one of those crazy, farfetched ideas that is spurned in the far reaches of my brain. However, it sounds do able and something I may enjoy doing.

Currently out of my sudden boredom in this wonderful brightly coloured office (being sarcastic.. the walls are grey and some of the attitudes from people here could induce nightmares) I'm watching inuyasha ( I love this anime) Well not as much as vampire knight, bleach, Ghost in the shell,naru or escaflowne, but its getting there.

They never quite finished the storyline in the anime, so you then afterwards have to go on to a manga site and read endless manga, which I do sometimes. (nearly every friday... naruto and bleach new manga chapters translations come out) but there is alot of damn manga *jaw drops* this might take me awhile... so back to the series.

Um the thing that I cannot seem to shift is that the voice of Miroku is voiced as another one of my fav anime characters Van Fanel from escaflowne. So when I look at the screen and see it miroku there something in my mind keeps saying that is Van's voice... don't look at me like that, my brain works in magical ways XD
and his love interest is Sango who is also voice by non other than the same person who does the voice for hitomi *LAUGHS* My brain hurts from all this confusion because it doesn't end there

Koga = same voice actor who played duo in Gundam wing and wolverine in xmen
Naraku = Same person who voiced Folken from Escaflowne
Sesshomaru = Same person who voiced Trieze in Gundam wing
Hiatchi = Same guy who voiced the mole in Escaflowne
Renkotsu = Same person who voiced Allen in Escaflowne

and I'm pretty sure in one of the episodes I heard the voice of relena in there somewhere.

are you seeing why my brain hurts. Its like all the animes I grew up on combined in to one show and their voices sounding exactly the same.

Hmm what have I got planned for this week:

Nothing , but this stuff..catching up on sleep and exam which I already know I aint ready for. My coursework was good I think... I hope... dream ... *sighs* oh well.

I think I may go off now and start my sketches of pimp my pavement, pimp my wheelchair/Zimmerframe and Michael jackso-- I mean orochimaru likes little boys XD

Pretty words roll off of your tongue
Come out of your mouth heard by everyone
So convincing I believed it for so long
Still I can't figure out why
... everything you ever said would ever make this right or guilty
Now you say you wonder why you're my best ex-friend...

~~Alesana - Best Ex-Friend~~

The Final Fight I'll Win, But I Will Go On Until The End.

2008-08-13T15:59:00.000-07:00

So clever,
Whatever,
I'm done with these endeavors.
Alone I walk the winding way.
(Here I stay)
It's over,
No longer,
I feel it growing stronger.
I'll live to die another day,
Until I fade away.

[Chorus:]
Why give up, why give in?
It's not enough, it never is.
So I will go on until the end.
We've become desolate.
It's not enough, it never is.
But I will go on until the end.

Surround me,
It's easy
To fall apart completely.
I feel you creeping up again.
(In my head)
It's over,
No longer,
I feel it growing colder.
I knew this day would come to end,
So let this life begin.

[Chorus]

I've lost my way.
I've lost my way, but I will go on until the end.

Living is hard enough
Without you fucking up.

[Chorus]

I've lost my way.
I've lost my way, but I will go on until the end.

U-uh, u-uh

The final fight I'll win,
The final fight I'll win,
The final fight I'll win,
But I will go on until the end.

I love the end of this song. It means a lot to me and its comforting. I haven't written in here in ages. I miss doing so. documenting my life somewhere. well not to my best ability because sometimes I manage to offend people on here even though I don't mean to. I don't speak my mind much so on here I usually let everyone see a little tiny glimmer into what's going on in my head.

I'm going to keep on smiling I have decided. No matter what I hear, no matter what is going on, I will succeed, I will fight and I will win. So I can be a bit shy and stammery but I'm fed up of hiding away in the shadows of my past, where the dust and the staleness lies. Minds never letting go feeling they must get everything. Well take it. Take it all.

I will still be :D

Like my mum says the lord will fight your battles for you, just believe and have faith in him *smiles* so true, so very true.

Today I hung out with frannycracklepop.. *smiles* in other words franny. It was fun we got like really hyper in the park and talked and it just felt good. I needed that, to sit and talk to someone who listened and I did the same in return. I came home feeling so darn happy. She took loads of pics of us acting crazy.

We are thinking of meeting up and doing certain devious things and taking a walk around few museums and randomly go for walkies.I however will need money to take part in these certain activities, but ahwell.. I always find a way.

Fed up of the drama and the break today that I had from it, was good. I am back with a positive outlook.

so revisiony fun this week, apply for grants, watching Inuyasha (yeah I never watched the series seriously before) waiting for more vampire knight (come ooooonnn october)bleachy and naru tomoz yay!

Things to look forward to.

SECOND YEAR OF UNI (*w00ts* finnnnnaalllly)
ANIME CON IN IRELAND (friends online meet up..Hoppppefully)
3 DOORS DOWN GIG (omg I can't wait, may go alone though because I haven't got a lot of my friends are 3dd lovers *cries*)
EPIC START OF SCHOOL YEAR PARTIES
GETTING A JOB (wherever it may be)
LAW MODULES FOR NEXT YEAR (I own in law. I got the highest grade out of our year for law this year. My coursework was an average grade it was my exam that made it take off. I can't wait to get this years modules... oh work experiance)
GOING TO BE ON TV... CHANNEL 4 TRANSMISSION SHOW...(go me)
TO BEING THE BEST DAMN THING YOU EVER HAD -- (to one person specifically.. nah kidding lol)

Things that are gonna suck

ASHLEY LEAVING UNI (I haven't even started but I am gonna miss his blackinese self)
YEAR 2 WORKLOAD
THE RECESSION WE ARE HEADING FOR
WINTER (summer kicks winter ass period)

You sent me a song.

2008-07-09T06:53:00.000-07:00

You said you heard this song on tv and thought about me XD. I know you don't listen to this kind of music, so that must be true lol.. Just had to say. Strangely enough I know how you feel.. So I'll put the lyrics to the song up, to return the lyrics ^^

Tell me how I’m supposed to breathe with no air?

If I should die before I wake
It's cause you took my breath away
Losing you is like living in a world with no air, oh

I’m here alone, didn’t wanna leave
My heart won’t move, it’s incomplete
Wish there was a way that I can make you understand

But how
Do you expect me, to live alone with just me?
‘Cause my world revolves around you
It’s so hard for me to breathe

Tell me how I’m supposed to breathe with no air?
Can’t live, can’t breathe with no air
That’s how I feel whenever you ain’t there
There’s no air, no air
Got me out here in the water so deep
Tell me how you gon be without me?
If you ain’t here, I just can’t breathe
There’s no air, no air
No air air, No air air
No air air, No air air

I walked, I ran, I jumped, I flew,
Right off the ground to flow to you
There’s no gravity to hold me down, for real

But somehow I’m still alive inside
You took my breath but I survived
I don’t know how but I don’t even care

So how do you expect me, to live alone with just me?
‘Cause my world revolves around you
It’s so hard for me to breathe

Tell me how I’m supposed to breathe with no air?
Can’t live, can’t breathe with no air
That’s how I feel whenever you ain’t there
There’s no air, no air
Got me out here in the water so deep
Tell me how you gon be without me?
If you ain’t here I just can’t breathe
There’s no air, no air
No air air, No air air
No air air, No air air

No more

No air

Baby

There's no air, no air

Hey, oOoOo

Oooooooooooooh

Tell me how I’m supposed to breathe with no air?
Can’t live, can’t breathe with no air
That’s how I feel whenever you ain’t there
There’s no air, no air
Got me out here in the water so deep
Tell me how you gon be without me?
If you ain’t here I just can’t breathe
There’s no air, no air

(Do you expect me, to live alone with just me
Cause my world revolves around you, It's so hard for me to breathe)

Tell me how I'm supposed to breath with no air?
Can't live, can't breathe with no air
That's how I feel whenever you ain't there
There's no air, no air

Got me out here in the water so deep

Tell me how you gonna be without me?

If you ain’t here I just can’t breathe

There’s no air, no air
No air air, No air air
No air air,

No air

Jordin Sparks ft Chris Brown - ~~No Air~~

Michael Vartan Fangirl moment

2008-05-18T08:12:00.000-07:00

Seriously this man is amazing

Give me more time Mr Deadline.

2008-03-07T11:50:00.001-08:00

Okay so today is not a good day...
Well nothing has happened to make it not a good day its just random other things..
Okay I have an assignment due on the 10th. Everyone must be saying oh you have lots of time... lots and lots of time you got a good solid three days there. I wish my my mum thinks the concept of me trying to do work is selfish of me that I do not drop everything and cater to her needs. Tomorrow I have church which is going to take up half of my day anyway and then I have to go to daniel and chantelles wedding reception which is like *rolls eyes* they have been married for months now get over it.

Anyway even though I don't have any pretty clothes I am being forced to attend this lovely yet daunting gatherings of persons when I have not one but two dealines hang over my head like some certain death sentence.

I know its my fault. I shouldn't have been procrastinating. But Ouran high school host club, was drawing me to finish watching its series and naruto to read manga chapters and watch episodes.. I even managed to watch a bunch of films in this time. One being step up 2. Quite good that was.

Imvu is the worst too. The place never use to be so damn addicitive honestly I am like a black child on crack. I need a daily fix. Its doesn't help either when I see on my homepage that someone has left me a message or that the status is online.

Facebook is also very very very very very evil at these times because I get sucked in to reading mail. Group posts and friggin trivia... damn you to hell trivia, I love you, but you destroy me.

Even right now I am finding another way to procrastinate, byt writing this darn entry. Should I rush everything this sunday and try and at least hand in something as petty as it may be. Or miss out church tomox, which I will never hear the end of or let my mother take endless hours perming my hair then go tomoz come back home around 9 fall asleep and then wake up in a panic on sunday, knowing that every hour that ticks away is leading to my bad grade.

Crappy...

And I want to watch Kanon and bleach *slaps self* shut it.

Okay, I am going to have to sacrifice something to get something else done. I will not mess this up... I will give in work on monday and this work will rock
I will give in more work on the wednesday too and that will rock harder.. hear me lol.

I will get good grade. I will not fail. I will concentrate because I have big G on my side. So Big G help me...

Love you all

cordie x

23:02

and I got my hair done... still haven't done any work... cept I have been practicing my hip rolling although I still need to be a little bit more skinner to actually pull it off. Yay weight loss.

I also found clips from one of my old favourite shows. Called the real mccoy... check these out lol.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lWJeZ8bZsUE

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Vnoyqykrz_o Dr who dubbed for the west indies.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=l6tAjmh1dV0 The second bit to this sketch always cracked me up

Its not too late, its never too late.

2008-02-29T09:53:00.000-08:00

I'm good just tired and have a brusied leg. A really badly bruised leg. I think it was because I climbed over my damn gate that has spikes at the top. Painful. *sad face* anyway...Just finished law coursework, which I will probably get a crappy grade for because it was rushed and had hadly any case citings *shakes head* Hopefully God will look down on me in pity and save me from my bad grade. I now have the two big assignments left to finish in two weeks. Quantative Methods for Business portfolio 2 and Economics Business Plan. After these two are done I can procrastinate until exams in may... Oh yeah.

This song is by Three Days Grace its called Never too late. Its for a certain person. The will know who it is for when they read it. Its a good song and maybe you should take the words into thought. I Hope you get better x

This world will never be
What I expected
And if I don't belong
Who would have guessed it
I will not leave alone
Everything that I own
To make you feel like it's not too late
It's never too late
Even if I say
It'll be alright
Still I hear you say
You want to end your life
Now and again we try
To just stay alive
Maybe we'll turn it around 'Cause it's not too late
It's never too late

No one will ever see
This side reflected
And if there's something wrong
Who would have guessed it
And I have left alone
Everything that I own
To make you feel like
It's not too late
It's never too late
Even if I say
It'll be alright
Still I hear you say
You want to end your life
Now and again we try
To just stay alive
Maybe we'll turn it around
'Cause it's not too late
It's never too late

The world we knew
Won't come back
The time we've lost Can't get back
The life we had
Won't be ours again
This world will never be
What I expected
And if I don't belong

Even if I say
It'll be alright
Still I hear you say
You want to end your life
Now and again we try
To just stay alive
Maybe we'll turn it around
'Cause it's not too late
It's never too late
Maybe we'll turn it around
'Cause it's not too late
It's never too late (It's never too late)
It's not too late
It's never too late

Who would've thought that pretending was easy.

2008-02-24T18:59:00.000-08:00

Here's me with a deadline over my head and I'm still procrastinating. I have a deadline at 3 tomorrow afternoon and right now. I have 5 questions to attempt and I'm on the third on yey!!! I left the easier ones for last as a little treat but they are still going to take sometime to do. Its now 03:00 in the morning on the dot and I have Its only love Blasting in my ears - by Heather Nova. This song is so beautiful its inspiring me to make a Naru Saku AMV. Should be fun. Only 2 more projects for the year and I'm done yey *w00ts*

I'm worried about something that is happening to one of my friends. I really hope it isn't what I think it is. If it is I may have some serious problems on my hands. I will go into detail when I know exactly what's what!

I'm smiling again today even though I have the deadline of the century hanging over my head. I know however God is helping me smile and be calm and be at peace because everyone is stressing and I'm cool, here watching anime, listening to music. Doing work at the same time. I thank him seriously.

Last week was not a good week ... but I'm smiley again. I however found out one of my uncles had a heartattack esq thing. So I hope he recovers and that he is better *hugs him*

I drew a new pic the other day and I think I am going to finally colour it. There is one of me and another of Kakashi and Kayane I never really finished. I need to draw a Naru Saku and a pic of my friends and family, colour it take it to a shop and print it as a poster.. I just need more practice though and I need to learn some techniques.

Hopefully Fran will be willing to give me some tips.. I hope she is alright. Seeing her again made me realise remember what it was like being her friend. The constant sarcasm, made me feel like I was at home again. Strange that. I wish we never stopped being friends, because maybe I could be a fraction of what she is today instead of the shell I am at the moment. Don't worry guys I will recover. Just give me time.

Anyway I better get off I have work. Now its 03:10, Its all good I might be able to get some sleep if I finish early. Next time Hopefull I will have a review of Ouran Yay!!!! *huggles you all* I love you so much x

Love...I used to think that I know

why we need this

I just assumed that weren't always be fine

Now I don't think that we last the feeling

But we.. let everything build up inside

It's only loveBut love.. should make us strong

It's only love

But love.. has been hurting so long

What a challenge.. honesty

What a struggle to learn to speak

Who would've thought that pretending was easy

It's only loveBut love.. should make us strong

It's only loveBut love.. has been hurting so.. long

And it's all, it's hard on meIt's tearing my heart off me

Love..And it's all, it shouldn't beHoping to learn only

Love..Love..

There's a party here on China beach

Still a pile I don't know

Tell me.. is the ocean a gift or a thief

The ocean let go..It's only loveBut love.. should make us strongIt's only love

But love.. has been hurting so.. long

And it's all, it's hard on me

It's tearing my heart off me

Love..And it's all, it shouldn't be

Hoping to learn only

Love..Only..

Only love.. Love..

~~Heather Nova - Its Only Love~~

I need a break... A long break away from life.

2008-02-20T08:27:00.000-08:00

So apparently I'm very rude, horrible. That I am not a good christian or I am not trying very hard. Me asking someone to listen to me instead of completely talking over me and coming to their own assumptions is rude of me and I should be listening attentively to everything that is being to said to me. Even though half of that stuff is not me, never has been me. But I am like that.

I just need a break... a break from all of this stuff. These people are putting me off. I dunno what to do anymore. I am not having my own way. I am just confused at what everyone tells me to do. I do something then another person gets angry at me for doing that and then takes not responsibility for it what so ever.

I'm just done. Done with it all for a while. I can't this much longer. I'm fed up of crying, fed of being talked at like a child, tired of not being heard and being that little squeak in the corner... I've been humble, i've taken crap continuously. I don't know how much more of this I can take. I wish I did take my chance when I ran away to totally disappear I mean get on a coach and left to go to some other city.

*sighs* Ah well.

Just got to make myself happy again. Imvu and music here I come. I am going to dance this crap out of me.

See ya x

Reviews, Updates and Happiness.

2008-02-19T15:22:00.000-08:00

Hey everyone *waves* I thought I would do an update since I haven't done one in quite a while and an anime Review. I use to review stuff on my old blog all the time, I never really do that here. Ha ell there is always the time start and I guess this is it.

Anyway I am good. Well I think I am. Well as good as confusing life of mine gets. I can say though the upcoming weeks are going to be tough for me. I have alot of deadlines, things to sort out mentally and force my self away from my laptop, Imvu and playing Canis Canem Edit.

The painters and decorators came today and yes this is euphemism that most males and females will know so lets just keep it like that. I was in slight pain. Nothing I couldn't handle but I spent most of the day Imvu-ing and watching what I am about to review later *smiles*

As I have also known in the past, my half terms are never mine to do what I want with them, even if I want to do work. Mum starts offering me out to help people left right and center. Not that I mind I just wish I would have a say in when I have to hand myself out to everybody. Applied for a job in the odeon as well, hopefully something will come through... 'cus Cordie needeteh that damn cash.

I'm slowly but surely putting back on the weight I lost from the 21days fast. *looks down and stomach and tries to wish it away* ah well.. but that's not gonna happen.
Oh crap I just remembered I am suppose to write a letter to the people about my case... Yeah Transport of London is taking me to court. I just hope that this goes in my favour and guess that I'll have to leave it in Gods hands. He will take care of the matter better than I can.

Right Review...

The Melancholy of Haruhi Suzumiya.

This hillarious highschool Anime is packed full of suspense, random perviness, laughs and so much more.This cleverly written anime does at first annoy because the japanese version is shown in anachronic order, which makes the storyline confusing, but for the first time I will say I am happy there are English dubs around (has been put in an order which would seems as chronological- minus episode 7 which is the last episode on the japanese version ).

The main character Haruhi Suzumiya is to say the least a bit wierd. Obviously quite the looker, but does not posses the traits in her personality that would make her fit into the stereotypical nature of a normal teenager. On her first day of school Huruhi is asked to introduce herself and she stands up in class and boldly states to her other classmates "If you are not an alien, timetraveller or esper don't talk to me". People thought she was joking, how wrong they were. Fuelled by rumours from her old class mates from her other school, an intrigued boy named Kyon (top left, who is also the narrator of this story and is a damn comedian) attempts to converse with Huruhi and she slowly looses her horrid attitude towards him begins to open up. She speaks to him of how she wants a life filled with adventure, aliens and abnormal activity, that she has no time for things like love. Unbeknownst to her, she possesses the power to modify reality to how she wants it. Meaning she wants aliens, espers and timetravellers... she's going to get aliens, espers and timetravellers. Kickstarting the action and a romantic love tale between these two characters.

I won't go into too much detail with the other characters, because it would be kind of a spoiler.

Other characters this show blesses us with is Yuki Nagato (botton left), the most monotonic person I have ever heard... in the english dub version and in the japanese subs no matter where you watch this chick she is flat. Her head always in a book and is a girl of little words. She ends up joining the SOS brigade (A school club Mia makes up) forcefully...

Mikuru Asahina (bottom right): A very timid girl, who Haruhi forces to dress up in bunny outfits, maids costumes, nurse gowns and so forth. Also stripping her near naked infront of all the boys, much to her protest of course, but also makes Kyon a very happy guy *laughs*

Last but not least Itsuki Koizumi (hottie). He also joins SOS after being a transfer student in the middle of the year. He gives in to the stupid demands of Haruhi, because inside secretly he knows the consequences of disobeying her. What he has to fight with when she gets mad.

The first episode I watched which eventually made sense at the end. Was their project of making a film. This episode had me in stiches. I mean the greatest acting, from Mikuru and Kyons narrating is excellent (Itsuki leans in to kiss Mikuru and all you hear is this"How is this happening right now!!!! If your mouth gets any closer to her Someone standing off camera is gonna cut in to frame and kick your ass, DAMNIT!!!") ... I can't describe. Although the japanese sub is alot better, because the voices are much more
bearable, because Mikuru sounds like she is on helium on the eng dub.After this episode it will then goes in to normal story telling and I say stick the first episode even if you don't get it.

Although to my disapointment it only last 14 brilliant episodes they are bringing out a different spin off to the anime, they decided to ditch the next season *cries* not continuing the storyline of the original anime, because this show had so much potential and keeps you wanting more after those precious 14 eps!!!! In this new version Kyon better be narrating or there will be hell to payyyyy!!!!!

Anyway that's it... wasn't much of a review ( 'cus I got lazy) but ah well. Anyway that is me for today.

Hide - I just have to hide. Laast Chance!!!

2008-02-12T14:10:00.000-08:00

Hide lyrics

Waste away
I'm crawling blind
Hollowed by what I left inside
For you, just you
I'm caught in place
But I ignore what I can't erase

I will run and hide till memories fade away
And I will leave behind a love so strong

Close my eyes theses voices say
Haunting me, I can't escape
For you, just you
Time will always wait
While I throw away what I can't replace

I will run and hide till memories fade away
And I will leave behind a love so strong [x2]

I will run and hide!
And I will leave behind!

I will run and hide till memories fade away
And I will leave behind a love so strong!

-RED Hide

In a way I know this has so much meaning to me right now. Ha how emo am I right now! Anyway just thought I should let people know I am alive.
Uni's going good, lots of coursework.
Just finished a 21 days fast and all I can hear in my ears is "last chance" my crossroad...my crossroad indeed..

Its Fran's bday tomoz so Happy Bday Hun x x x

I'm going off to go and play Canis Canem Edit Byez

"I will run and hide till memories fade away
and I will leave behind a love so strong"

Why should I frown I know myself after all.

2008-01-07T19:09:00.000-08:00

The first time I say no to helping anyone with anything and I get hated for it. Funny that eh!
I would bother to explain, but its time wasting and I don't like wasting time.
Also I thank the way my mother brought me up, because her ways have been drummed into me and give me a certain overall calm when needed.

On to funnier moments this girl in south central who wearing some tutu esq skirt
decided she would get down on the floor with her friend and would slither their way across the floor and simulate sex on the rather hard surface (get it rather hard surface) it was pretty funny. I just happened to come out with "Kazzie everytime she bends over I can see her throat" to which Kaz cracked up laughing.Then the second quote of the night was "I felt like I was giving her a hysterectomy with my eyes". honestly we could see her knickers and her fellow friend who was also trying to be sexy on the floor and failing miserably boob's were hanging out.

I know this must seem like the creme de la creme for most guys but honestly it was off putting and frankily quite scary.Then they had the audacity to start fights with people when they were going after everyone's boyfriends and trying to touch them up. Perfect.

I've started back uni... it was okay I guess. and its 3 in the morning and I must sleep or I will go into my lecture feeling like crap.

Love you all x x x

I miss your hugs... you know who you are.

I woke up this morning with a smile on my face
& Nobody's gonna bring me down today They can say all they wanna say about meBut I'm gonna carry on Keep on singing my songI'm human, I ain't able to pleaseEveryone at the same time, so now I findMy peace of mind living one day at a timeI'm human and I answer to one godIt comes down to one loveUntil I get to heave aboveI've made the decision Never to give upTil the I day I die no matter whatI'm gonna carry on & keep on singing my song.....
~~- Christina Aguilera Keep on singing my song~~

Oooooh oooh Out going note not that I watch wrestling any more but... My baby is back. Chris jericho *swoons* Minus the vest and some slight cheesy lines. He is as good as ever.

The greatest fraudster on earth

2007-12-11T09:11:00.000-08:00

Something I made when I was bored.

A broken blade in a confused heart.

2007-12-07T09:21:00.001-08:00

Hey everyone just bullet point updating everyone so no-one get moody at me:

+ Uni is a lot better now. At first I was Hating the place because all my friends were in second year and I was in first year, but I am kind of happy it happened that way. I love the people I am with now.
Although, as I remembered working with fiona is still a difficult task. I have really nice people in my life such as Ashley, David, Chanelle, Dihran, Adeola and Adhnan.

+ I actually did my work before the deadline *gasp* I hope I get good grade by keeping on top of all my assignments.

+ Next week is hopefull the last week of uni and guess what on thursday, lecturers and Students drink up party at the crown pub... Hell yeah, I've already been promised 2 drinks. One by Adhnan for helping him with quants and one from david because I am cute lol.

+ Then Tracadero afterwards with Ashley yeyness. Thursday next week is going to be fun. That's when I will start to feel all my cares just start washing away. Well until we are due back, and I will want to cry. I know I will have 2 portfolio's, 2 classroom tests and 1 long ass assignment.*slaps self* Lets not think of that... lets think about lazying around, watching tv, playing games and eating good food. *big grin*

+ I really am tired, terribly exhausted and I need rest, but I can't because I am in serious demand and there is work to be done and can't neglect it. I have got to put all I can in to this year.

+ I have a new bed. its still in the living room, we have to mount it up... I don't like the look of the mattress, but it will have to do. I also got a new smexi corner desk for my room yes its tiny corner desk because as we all know my bedroom is an insult to all bedrooms but I am starting to get use to it.

+ I need to buy a new friends for dinkles to play with because he's getting lonely and all the other teddy's getting jealous because he's so bright and shiny.

+ I need an external hardrive, I don't think my laptop will be able to take much more lol.

So that's it.

I'm done ...

About Me...

2007-11-29T11:21:00.000-08:00

So as we all know my name is corinne but my friends shortened it down to cordie. I have had two blogs in my history of blogging.. this current blog and the blog of my past which was called scarred! I got many views, many messages.

This old blog basically was me writing out my past like a story tale. It had in detail facts of what happened to me. People were shocked how strong I was. I made many on-line friends. people were worried about me they thought I was going to die in that house one day.
After much thinking and much protesting from others to keep it, I deleted that blog. I didn't want to be known as the child with the difficult past. Every time someone searched my onnie name Anarchy's Angel, that's the first thing they would see.
I didn't want to be the person who everyone goes “ooh she's had a hard life lets all be nice to her.” Like in school miss hicks hated me ... the bitch. Anyway, she picked on me practically everyday for stupid things that she would let other students get a way with, but then when she learnt what I was going through at home
she became nice towards me. I hated that. If you hate me right, you hate me. not because of my circumstance are you now going to turn around and say “oh corinne you are wonderful oh corinne you are great.” fuck right off.

Apparently I have a like-ability factor about me. I can hangout with all types of people and be really silent and they still like me... well like I said apparently. One question I have always asked myself is why? why do people like me? Really aren't I just a moody sarcastic bitch, who is generally an uncomfortable person to be around.

I'm not socially in tuned. I can't do what Kaz does. Go into room and not knowing anyone and come out with all of their numbers and talking about hanging out or going for drinks. People don't realise I am rather shy. I'm not really good with being social, but I'm apparently the life of the party. To which I think whatever life of the party I am this must be some rather dead party.

Another thing about me I actually do have a stammer, well a slight one actually. I trained myself to over come it so much that you can't really hear it in my usual speech. It comes back full blown however when I'm really nervous, uncomfortable, shy or scared. Like sometimes I say something, I know what I wanted to say in my head and when I say it out loud to me it sounds
like I've said the right thing until someone corrects me and I am like what did I say?? it is very hard to control sometimes. When it also takes me forever to word a sentence is annoying too.

I am lame in general. I look lame, I act lame everything about me oozes lameness. Even this fucking entry is lame. Everyone says its me fishing for compliments when I say I'm am ugly (which isn't true btw) I truly am not, and I mean that in all honesty I think I'm am really really hideously ugly. I honestly do think Chantelle is a whole lot more prettier than me *Kaz stands there looking at me in disgust*

A question I have asked most of the guys I have dated is why me? I mean if the outside isn't special and the inside is not that great either then why? Its true they could have their first pick of beauties, but they are dumb enough to choose me lol.

I mean people remind me everyday that I am ugly urgh corinne your hair is still short, urgh your still that dark (there's not a cure for my skin colour you know) corinne you are fat, corinne why are you so tall? My dad conditioned me since a young age. EVERY SINGLE DAMN DAY I GOT TOLD THAT: I would never become anything, I was worthless, a whore, fat, ugly, I couldn't play the guitar, I should stop singing because I couldn't. Basically everything about me was wrong and that I couldn't be seen as perfect as his son. To my parents I was the mistake, well to my dad anyway.

So when anyone tries to tell me corinne you can do this very well, I very quickly dismiss it and say no I'm not or no I can't. Sometimes it an instant thing that happens and I can't help it. I remember one time I was watching tv and then my dad came in and decided he would start on me about being fat. He reduced me to tears, I don't think I ever felt more crap that he made me feel on that day. So I drank his alcohol on empty stomach nearly everyday to ease the pain of living with him. I didn't eat, I couldn't stand the sight of food... and I thought well maybe if I lost some weight then he would stop pushing me around. I always felt like it was my fault I was the one who was pushing him and getting him angry. Mum realised I wasn't eating and was acting weird (alcohol) she started to monitor my eating after that, she has ever since. That's why sometimes my mum makes me eat before I leave the house just so she knows that I have eaten.

I saw Nadia last week no matter even if it was for 2 hours it was so much fun. Anyway she informed me that I had drastically changed. Everyone is so use to the old me... corinne who was funny, sarcastic and hyper all the damn time. I miss her. The old corinne I mean. She was fun, I was happy to be her. Now I am so quiet and reclusive that I feel generally sorry for anyone who tries to strike up conversation with this tired withdrawn cordie of now. Nadia thinks it because of Alex, she says I've crawl back into this sort of shell and I wont come out for a while and then one day, BOOM!!! I am back to normal. The thing that is scaring me is I don't think I'm going to be normal any more. Neither do I have the strength, energy or self satisfaction to be like that.

Nadia's friend was there too I barely spoke one bit to him. Apparently he likes me a lot (this is the first time he had met me *deep breath* boys, what do they know eh?)I hardly spoke to him and that's how she knew something wasn't right. She's really worried, that I am becoming this unapproachable person. I think in some ways she is right.

Message to Alex from Nadia “WHAT THE FUCKKKKK HAVE YOU DONE TO HER?”

I want to be my old self again, I really do but I don't think that 'fun' side of me is attainable. It makes me sad, because right now who the hell am I? What have I become that has nadia so worried about me.

I also got the “you're depressed” talk. She also thinks that the excessive weight loss of recent is tied to that, and the constant tiredness.

I am fine people, just trust me give me time. Give me time.

Nadia also thinks my barrier against letting people in, is to the point where it can't be penetrated with a few questions or easily built friendships and I don't speak so you wont know anything about me.

Have I really become like this?

Richard said I might as well be Kaz's shadow, I follow her closely and have no speech of my own. Well I would rather be Kaz's shadow than be a carrier of a thousands STI'S like yourself Richard. Fucker.

Do you blame though. Left right and centre I have people backstabbing me, hating on me, abandoning me, turning their backs on me, wishing that I would die, not having any hopes that I will succeed. I have a right to shut myself away from the world. Its safer for everyone trust me.

Well jeez THAT was depressing.

Anyway I'm going to try and get some sleep although I just had 8 hours I am still tired *looks at Nadia* shut it don't say another word. Anyway I'll get up in an hour or two. Order my desk yeyness. Go down to the bank, talk them about getting a new card. Then go to cash converters and insult them for trying to cheat me out of a dvd. Then go sainsbury's back home and maybe Kaz's today.

Got a cold and period pains from the period that is nowhere in sight.

So I'm off to go and snooze now *waves* byeee x x x

Today's the day when I sit by and watch my life waste away

2007-10-17T10:36:00.000-07:00

Hey Just back dating entries.

Sometimes I just find myself writing blog entries and then thinking, why the hell am I doing this. I mean I have no reason to write these things, but because its beccome such a part of me I can't help it.

whats happened this week?

My Aunt was diagnosed with cancer again, and my mother is going down to yorkshire to see her. I would have loved to go there because I LOVE THAT PLACE. I would marry it and have its like sheep and cow infested babies. Plus, I like being around my aunt. She's funny and is religious, but not as serious as my mum. Although she can be strict I love my mum for the way she has pushed me 'cus least I know I haven't done anything that I would really REALLY regret ...Well not yet anyway.
Sooooorry vic I know you have been annoying me for the past few months to suddenly turn up at your door step but I want some time alone. lol.

I've nearly got my voice back but at the same time have made everyone else around me terriby sick. I sang on Monday yeyness. I was also very confused on monday, but lets not even touch upon that subject.

still haven't recieved my student loan these people are taking the p-i-s-s.

I have a new found love for Quantative methods (statistics) ... yey! I normally hate maths and all that it stands for.

we need staff and some damn new members at sbos boards... google is being a bitch to us.

I bought slipper socks *stop and looks at everyone watching at her* WHAT!!!! *cute voice* they look like slippers but they are socks and they have loads of spots on them *giggles*

I crave pizza... ummmmmm pizza

Rewatching season 1 of angel, for what reason I don't know,

I'm trying to stop myself from buying the ipod Touch. I need an mp3 player (well I dont need one) and that thing is as smexi as hell.

Must start playing naruto arena again I was pretty good at it once upon a time.

Posted up new pics on FACEBOOK (well I should have by now anyway)...I must really update myspace and who uses bebo? just sounds like a damn african name. Sorry that was rude I take that back.

Plus I haven't made a new template for here yet, I really should. The Sasuke template must disappear, I know as soon it is gone I am going to have hate mail from nadia. Got the film yet? if so send it to me.. Quick tings blud quuuiiick tings.

Wrote a song yesterday called hello to fake dreams. Its sad.

Right so my lovlies I'll see you again for another great and exciting entry (lies)

Bye x x x

A cold that could Kill

2007-10-17T10:35:00.000-07:00

Hey everyone went Karoke on thursday ... Didn't get up to sing...why? because I have lost my voice and currently sound like a man who has been on 40 cigs a day lol.

This is my second cold/flu thing in four weeks. My immune system, the most crappiest thing I know.

I was really, really tired. That's only because I spent the night prior to that thursday at karoke in a hotel room with jon and Kaz. Before you think it, I was not doing naughty stuff. okay maybe a little ... kidding.

Well the army is letting Jon stay in the hotel because he has no where else to go. They are basically paying for everything.

So kaz heard this and her eyes lit up lol. I was too ill to go down stairs and drink with them because I was coughing and blowing my nose. So I stayed nice and snug in the bed. btw that bed was damn comfortable.

During my journey to victoria station I had my first ride on the back of a bike... Did I look hot in a helmet? hell yeah. lol. It was fun Chris had bike but people were afraid we would take off if I got on the back of it and never to be seen again. So the bike was off limits to me.

Unfinished....

cordie x

Sister Mary Gang member and her gang banging crew.

2007-10-10T10:34:00.000-07:00

I have the flu WAHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!

My back started bleeding while I was at karoke on monday, didn't want to worry anyone by telling them so I keep on touching the area 'cept it looked like I was doing something totally different.
So if anyone saw any lower back rubbage its not what ya think lol. mum took me to hospital before uni and I'm fine people... well as fine as people with a wound on their tailbone can get.

Had fun at karoke although my head was pounding, my nose was slightly blocked and I tasted the most sickening ribs in my life. Nah dude seriously it tasted like someone just dipped it in honey took it out and thought hey I dont know what I'm doing but I'm going to attempt to season the fuck. Geez it was free but never again.

I'm tired today, I mean really worn down and I just want to rest but of course I can't. Way too much to do, seriously.

Had slight time though to start coloring in my new sig slash character for the new SBOS boards. Keavy did a awesome job I make a crap admin Honestly.... I'm sick, internetless and still struggling to get stuff sorted and its affecting the board. Darnit.
Sometimes I wished we never moved house, life would still be so much more relaxing. minus the whole my dad and half of his family showing up at the door.

The best video that I have managed to catch on film... I had to put it on youtube and its probably going to get taken off or some little twelve year is going to tell me. I hate this video get a life or something like that. Oh I love getting into fights with those kids who think they are the shit online
come against me and I will remind you that I am older than you. Stupid fools.

Anyway I'm bored now. Its 02:52 wednesday morning. I'm also very cold (our boiler broke*rolls eyes*) and there is nothing on tv and no I am not going to sit there and watch porn (not that there is any on.... you have gotta miss the old channel 5 though, Well I dont miss it but you get what I mean)

Sister Mary Gang Member is signing off.

Cordie x

Scotty doesn't Know

2007-09-20T12:35:00.000-07:00

Hey!!!!!!

Scotty doesn't know,
That Fionna and me,
Do it in my van every Sunday.

She tells him shes in church,
But she doesn't go,
Still shes on her knees, and...

Scotty doens't know, oh.
Scotty doesn't know-oh.
So don't tell Scotty!
Scotty doesn't know,
Scotty doesn't know.
SO DON'T TELL SCOTTY!

Fionna says shes out shopping,
But shes under me and I'm not stopping.

Cuz Scotty doesn't know,
Scotty doesn't know,
Scotty doesn't know,
Scotty doesn't know.
So don't tell Scotty.
Scotty doesn't knoooooow....
DON'T TELL SCOTTY!

I can't believe he's so trusting,
While I'm right behind you thrusting.

Fionna's got him on the phone,
and she's trying not to moan.
It's a three way call,
and he knows nothing.
NOTHING!!!

Scotty doesn't know,
Scotty doesn't know,
Scotty doesn't know,
Don't tell Scotty.
Cuz Scotty doesn't know,
Scotty doesn't knoooooow....
SO DON'T TELL SCOTTY!

We'll put on a show, everyone will go.
Scotty doesn't know,
Scotty doesn't know,
Scotty doesn't knoooooow....

The, parking lot, why not?
It's so cool when you're on top.
His front lawn, in the snow.
Laughing so hard, cuz...

Scotty doesn't know,
Scotty doesn't know.

I did her on his birthday.

Scotty doesn't know,
Scotty doesn't know,
Scotty doesn't know,
Scotty doesn't know,
Don't tell Scotty.
Scotty doesn't knoooooow....

Scotty will know,
Scotty has to know,
Scotty's gotta know,
Gonna tell Scotty,
Gonna tell him myself.

Scotty has to know,
Scotty has to know,
Scotty has to,
Scotty has to,
Scotty has to go!

Scotty doesn't know,
(Don't tell Scotty)
Scotty doesn't know,
(Don't tell Scotty)
Scotty doesn't know...
Scotty's gotta go!

-Lustra - Scotty doesn't know.

This song is only here because I haven't heard it in ages lol. Has nothing to do with me, before I get random friends asking me "cordie what have you been upto?"

xUpdates x

- Re-doing year 1 because I couldn't take my re-takes and was in hospital while they were taking place, although strangely enough my exstenuating circumstances was approved... I have still been sent back to the first year... and with that I have fiona with me for another year, because she also failed to progress to teh second year.
- I'm alot better, just waiting for my student loan to come through (*cough* more alike start filling out the form lol*cough*)
- Tierd alot (still drugged up on Co-dydramol)

- Started new Naruto fanart its called promise fullfiled. It makes me sad. Damn you Sasuke.

- Getting my net access back in the first week of october, praise be.

- Evil intentions in mind for certain people in my life.

- Playing the most funniest game of sims, with all my friends as characters. I might start taking screen-shots just because its so funny so far.. Chantelle sleeps with everything that walks ( wow virtual reality really does resemble real life) and is sleeping with Jon and Alan in different rooms, so they dont know about each other, Johnathon is a business man who desires expensive things and fancies all the women that walk through the door (so true to life as well) and is also sleeping with a married woman, the maid and his betfriends wife. Kaz and Alan are getting it on and are about to get engaged (*laughs* the day that happens in real life, is when I know the world is coming to an end) Anthony is obssesed with my character he has three damn lighting bolts with mean strong chemistry (although my character aint giving a crap about him ...oh wait that resembles life too) and currently is screwing the maid and Jasmine is screwing some old rich married guy (you can see her doing that lol) .... what my boredom took over one monday evening

- got a virus on my memory stick that refuses to budge

- my room is a total mess.. nah really its to the point where you wouldn't think a human being lives in this room.

- Still haven't got my Mp3 player fixed

- Gone up a bra size.... I know I know you didn't need to know that.

Funny things this week:

Although I have seen this many times and have also downloaded it on to my computer, I decided to watch them all again. What? you ask... the Naruto Abridged series honestly Vegeta, Masako ... you guys own.

Backstory: Iruka's parents were killed when he was young.

This scene takes place when iruka is sorting out the genin groups. he picks all the main characters and left the other people in the room unamed. Right... Action:

Random Kid: What about us?
Iruka Sensei: uh you're not impotant enough
Random Kid: My mum thinks I'm special
Iruka Senei: Well your mum's a skank
Random Kid: Least I have a mum
Iruka Sensei: Ah! Touche

- Naruto the Abridged Series

My punishment....

2007-09-17T10:43:00.000-07:00

I'm not going to sussex

I have to repeat my year although its because of my illness that I didn't attend my exams and they know this.

All my cool friends are gone.

I am a loser and I am all alone.

Geez can anybody tell I am not in a good mood today.

Funny things I have seen today though

A ghetto guy proper head to toe covered in bling... NY HAT, Trackies....
Reading *gasp* and second gasp.... it was Harry Potter.

Wait... gangbangers actually know how to read... wow miracles do happen.

Update.... yeaaaahhhh yeaahhhh another one.

2007-09-10T06:51:00.000-07:00

Hey everyone just updating 'cus I was ordered to *hits Nadia* (tell me, why can't you just call me LIKE A NORMAL PERSON WOULD) *Sighs*

+ I no longer need nursing at home *jumps around does a little dance* and my cavity (as they are calling it now) is at its final stages of healing.

- I am actually starting to feel claustraphobic in my room.

+ I am planning to get 2 new guitars... I know, I know. I have no space to put them, but I will find somewhere okay. they are cheap and from ebay... annnnnd are handpainted like my guitar with butterflies. Although, the pink Hello kitty guitar is singing to me in my sleep. No, this is no joke I tell you,I have been dreaming of this guitar.

- I am so broke at the moment that it actually hurts. Ever felt so broke, that your heart feels heavy... no.... well you should try it, its a new pitiful experiance.

++ I am going to see david for two days next week. I miss him, I can't believe he abandoned me here in london and never to return, his answer to this...." Well... come and live with me". *dry tone* Yes Dave, that solves everything. *laughs*

+ Just thinking on how to decorate the claustophobic paradise (my room) I'm downsizing my bed to a mere double. I know, the pain. I am going to try and find the most smallest desk known to man, get a few draping cloths, tv, pillows, upto date posters (that's a lie I have loads of posters I just wish for more) dvd and cd rack, shelves and I think that will be it.

- Alex I thought you said you were going to stop stalking me.

-Yes nadia I will start your request for me to make a naruto and sakura video to even in death by evanescence, but it would be easier, if I could see the 4th movie then the song it would go.

+ Uni starts in four to five weeks I haven't started applying for my student loan, neither do I know whether I am going back or not.

Okay there you go, an update. it was boring and also time consuming.

love ya all x x x

Give me a reason to believe that you're gone. I see your shadow so I know they are all wrong.

2007-09-05T09:47:00.000-07:00

hey all I've just come back from seeing rush hour 3 (Excellent film, Chris-Jackieness great humour like always) I did have a good night, but it felt wrong in a way.

Kaz asked me to come down and go harvester with her and I thought... Okay, I'll come down and spend some time with Kaz and co. Then Jon abruptly controls our plans of free foodness (what people I am black) to go to wetherspoons.
So Kaz asked if we would get fed, he said yes and yada yada yada. So anyway as soon as we get to wetherspoons, I get a text from my mum saying I had to bring my bus pass back and give it to her so she could go out.
So I told Kaz I can't come back down because my mum will have my pass and because of my broke ass no working summer, with much injuries I have no money to just take a bus back down.
She gave me her bus pass and said she would ask jon to buy her a bus pass. So I took the pass to my mums to find out that she didn't really need it. I wanted to murder her because I spent maybe an hour and twenty minutes trying to get myself back down to streatham.

So I leave my pass with my mum and come back down on Kaz's bus pass. So I get to wetherspoons and as you can imagine there is a chantelle looking very depressed, and the very merry twosome Jon and Kaz ( drunk like damn fishes swimming around in white wine) and two birds I have never seen before.
I get introduced to sophie and alice who are really sweet and beautiful girls (shame I'm nothing like that). A slight argument breaks out because kaz wants to go home and change, bcause she smelt of alcohol, but it wouldn't have made much difference because the amount of alcohol she consumed was already on her breath (lol!)
Chan didn't want to go because jon was there. Chantelle and jon are now enemies, although when they first met each other he wanted to jump her damn bones. (this is turning out to be a very long story).

So after much moaning and confusion jon had 4 tickets to go and see rush hour 3 he invited sophie and alice (who he just randomly met that day) and had space for one more person. So kaz and chan didn't want to go and I didn't exactly feel like going with Jon and the two other girls, but then Kaz did tell me that jon would waste a ticket and I felt guilty.
I dont know why this boy can't just go to peckham damn cinema like the rest of us cheap fucks.

So we get in a black cab after jon ran half way down the road for it. I had to run to the other side even though I told him I can't run due to my wound in my back still trying to heal (oh I ripped the skin on it a week ago that was damn paiiiiinful)
So whiz forward a bit, we are in the cab and jon is shouting from the rooftops that he gay, which doesn't surprise me much and talking about how much he earns in a year and suddenly I dont know where it came from but jon started turning on me.
He was saying it like it was a joke, but you know those jokes when you hear the person voicing their opinions about you, but hiding behind the walls of haha I'm just kiddin' ya. well it was like that. Jon said well you're poor, you wont get a good job and then to alice and sophie
that he admires them for being nurses because they are signing up to be poor for the rest of their lives, I dont know the way he was saying it, it made me feel low... I don't know about sophie and alice, but he just kept on going on about how poor I am always gonna be.

Then other comment of after the night out we had a month ago or so, went slept in the same bed (not like that people ewww) and he hugged me, he said something but I will not mention it. Anyway he started talking to alice thinking that I thought somethng was going on between us ( WHICH I NEVER) and he was like I mean why would I want to I mean she fat, Black and poor. once again if it was a joke at least a smile this was total seriousness in his voice.

So we get there and we are waiting for him to get his tons of food he ordered for himself asked me if I wanted anything I said no, then he said get one thing so I said coke. right so I got a coke. so he apparently topped up his gift card and gave it over to pay for the stuff that he bought, apparently it had insufficient funds. Jon gets into this argument with the manager, when they were trying to fix the problem and he just needed to patient, when I told him this I got a very harsh "just shut up corinne" so I just left him and went to talk to sophie. After this I decided I'm just going to try and stay out of his way and not get down about it
Finally got to our seats and the film had already started btw jon sat at the end to your left then sophie, alice then me at the end to your right.

He offered popcorn to sophie and alice and he said hey corinne wants some I was just about put my hand in and he pulls it away and says " well you are fat enough already I dont think you need anymore" and sit back in the chair then when he looked over and saw my face that when he decided that he would give me some, to which I then I rejected it until he started getting popcorn down alice and shoving it in my face, I took some just to shut him up.

Then he embarressed me in cinema about something else, which I will not mention.

I can take those kind of comments, when they are jokes. Even sometimes when they are jokes they hurt, but I just ignore them and brush 'em off. When everyone gangs up on me, even though I know they're joking, it makes me feel wrong to be black and I feel small ( I know what them lot are thinking along the lines of "but it is though") because most of my friends are not black and they go on and on and on about it. Once everyone was doing it, and I had a hard day and I want cheer up and I thought... yeah my friends will cheer me up. I wasn't feeling that great about myself either and then they all started. I acted like nothing was wrong, but its kind of funny how I went to the toilets and cried lol! Stupid me,

Jon however took it to a whole new level, the way he was saying it, it was like he meant every word he said. Then I remembered I still had to ask him for a bus pass to get back home and he had been going on about how 'poor' I am all night.

After punching me in my back and me punching him in the back in return, much harder, showing him that there is one thing about a black person you dont mess with... their strength.

I had to ask or i wouldn't able to get home as it seemed as he had forgot, I did at this point feel like shit so I reminded him and the angry WHAT?!? I got back was like, yey bring on the crappy feeling then he started going into one " NO-ONE TELLS ME THESE THINGS" grumbling underneath his breath, grabs a one day buspass out of his pocket and thrusts it at me and was like "well...bye"

So its decided I am never going out with jon again, well not by myself and not while he is drunk, well least I have a jist of what he really thinks of me. I wouldn't have even been there if Kaz hadn't told me to come back.

I know half of that stuff is true, but its the comments that are true that hurts more than the ones that are false right?

I don't know maybe I'm overreacting but when I was at the bus stop I felt tears coming to my eyes (I'm such a stupid twat sometimes) I just came home after the film I have wanted to see all year, feeling like dirt, I'm a bit better now.

x Updates x

- Uni finally are doing something about my extenuating circumstances form Yeyness. Hopefully by the grace of god this form reaches them by friday,

- I should be fully connected back to the net by october.

- I am actually an admin of a board that has more than ten members.

- Might be changing my blog template, I'm getting fed up of seeing sasuke. Well I haven't been online that much but I know he's there and its annoying (that sounds like such a jasmine thing to say)

- Wound in my back from the op has nearly closed, although it will take maybe a year or so to fully heal.

- I have to stop myself from drawing more fan-art, its starting to clutter my darnn room.The character I have drawn to soon be my DA ID ( dont know why I bother with DA anymore) looks so hot.... of course if its hot it looks nothing like me... although its my character... I should probably draw a black marshmallow woman and put that there instead.

- Still weak after losing 3 pints of blood two days after my operation and being rushed back to hospital. Then further after that losing another 1/2 a pint a few days after that. the doctor said I may feel tired alot, but still they are amazed how I can be as active as I am today.

- I think my tagger is on crack... I think it went to get high with all the other crack head taggers. its showing old messages instead of new ones. So I am just going to delete all my messages and start afresh ... better leave me comments biznatches.

Anyone I have droned on too long with my depressed self (well not depressed just slightly down)

Mina Arigato(everybody thankyou) for putting up with reading this lol.

love ya xx

Quote of the week

Jon: So chantelle I hear you are illiterate
Chantelle: *Looks all offended*
Chantelle: .... what's illiterate?
Jon: The answer is yes then

Quote from Rush Hour 3 - you have to see this part to find it funny and it also sounds like something I would say

*Chris tucker is dangling from the effile tower*

Chris tucker: No...woahhh.... black people don't fly, they just dont dont fly *shouts* black people don't flyyyyyy.

They Patched me up and sent me on my merry way

2007-08-08T11:25:00.000-07:00

Hey Guys I am a bit weak at the mo, so I am going to give an update as fast as poss, before this damn tablet knocks me out again.

I had the operation on monday, I am still pretty weak, and have slight discomfort, but I'm doing fine.

They were even thinking of not doing my surgery because they couldn't find a surgeon who was free and willing lol. But finally after 4 1/2 hours wait they finally went through with it.
I came out looking like hell, honestly... but my mum, Jay and Kaz and ryan (lol!) made me feel loads better.

I am now at my new house (yes I have moved) and I have no internet, so its a bit annoying but hey gotta live with that for a while until I get everything sorted out and I am back on my feet again. So I will be around for a bit.

Thank you everybody for the texts, calls and emails to check if I am alright.

Soz you guys feeling really tired so I am going to go now.

Love ya loads

*mwah* x x x

My so deserved punishment

2007-08-01T15:51:00.000-07:00

Hey guys still feeling awful, plus our favourite monthly friend made a visit and had me vomiting everywhere (I'm not kidding I swear at one point it was like projectile vomit) and I near collapsed if my mum hadn't grabbed onto me.
I felt kind of sorry for her today she has been so darn active because we are moving to are tiny house tomorrow... sorry I am going to state it how it is... its about half of the size of my house now (even smaller). Okay must stay happy I moving there tomorrow *tries to fill self with happy thoughts and fails miserably* oh well don't say I didn't try.

Anyway, I have had a lot of thinking to do over these past couple of days, and honestly I am very confused, but I am just going to ignore what's going on for awhile and enjoy in pain packing and so forth.

I love you guys so much and David I'm sorry I can't get back to your emails I'm fine and you don't need to come to London for me. You too Nadia. and Alex... stop with ringing me already you are the only person who calls me on private number I ain't going to pick up so just stop.

*big huggles*

ttyl x

(Oh depending on the moving I may or may not have internet access... pray that I do)

Hopefully Kazzie and Jaja are going to come over and help me out,which will be fun and we can have a little leaving ceremony to the big bedroom.

But I have already decided that I am havinf a tv in that room, when I get money I amgetting a flat screen tv and mounting it up on the wall Yeeeeaaahhhh Baby!!! right next to my bed.. the bedroom is going to get proper pimped.

sleepy now *yawns cutely* z z z z Z Z Z Z

I'm at my limit

2007-07-30T17:22:00.000-07:00

hey everyone, just letting you know I might go missing for a while on everything this includes: My blog,DA,Blades of Seireitei,facebook,myspace etc...

This is because I have a serious and dangerous cyst, which needs to be removed and is extremely painful. I am very ill at the mo... and now it has come to the point that I can't sit or be active at all, can't eat and I am pretty much weak because of that.

I am hoping though that god will prevent it from getting worse and after it is removed that it will never return.

Sorry guys I'm too weak to type anything else

ttyl x

Happy B-day. You can stand under my umbrella.

2007-07-25T05:27:00.000-07:00

Yeah it was my bday yesterday *dances around*. Pretty eventful, I had fun, but one person always tries to spoil my fun (must remember no ranting).

I had the first ever bday cake made out of pita bread and the biggest candle known to man in the middle (that was excellent) and we ate it all with cheese (yummm cheese).

There was craziness, seeing people I haven't seen in years. Becoming groupies, me walking around like a walking,talking birthday party *looks at everybody* What?! Kazzie attacked me with ballons, Loads of them.

I got some great presents, and I thank everyone who gave me a present,they were all so lovely *hugs you all* plus cards and actually showing up on my bday... *even more hugs*

Anyway, my mood plummeted during the night, and I think it affected everyone else, because I got a call from someone, who I wish no longer to name by name (you ass) who started wish death upon me (specific words being... I hope you die on that operation table you evil bitch, cow. I hate you. How dare you have fun on your birthday, while I'm miserable) because I wouldn't take them up on their offer.
I said no the first few hundred times what makes you think one more would make a difference.

I was so happy I couldn't feel my back pain during the night, it was until this morning, omg the pain kicked in. I feel so damn old, lol. I'm 20 years of age, 16 mentally and have an 80 year olds body. Well come in visit me in hospital everyone lol.

I am going to try and put the pics that I have of my bday up (there are not many) in my photo album. The link is in the navigation. Since everyone is making me sign up to facebook and myspace and other damn networking sites then I might as well show everyone.

My brother finally text me, this cheap message. 'Happy birthday sis holla at me when you can bye' but I am kinda happy because I still got a message from him. Its better than nothing right? I think he hates me now. I don't know why, I wish he didn't... I haven't done anything wrong, not anything that I know of. He is one of those people I love too much and anything he does to me I just accept. * feels a bit down* *slaps self*

Anyway, Happy stuff, ummm I'm going to the beach next week, dont know why the weather has been crappy.

I might get my new Zen Vision M because my other one decided the colour on the screen would give up on me.

GEEZ I really haven't got much going on at the moment have I? Damn you back, as soon asd they fix you, I WANT TO GET BACK ON MY FEET.

Anyway I'm done

Love ya

Cordie x

Happy Bday Blog - You're the best blog a girl could have lol...

2007-07-22T04:07:00.000-07:00

Yey! Another year and another bday. Wow three years of writing this crap lol. Nah to be honest this blog has served me well. It kept me sane at times. So blog I thank you *huggles your 0's and 1's* you have been good to me.

Ahhhh its my bday in two days. Gosh I can't believe it I'm going to be 20 (I'm very scared, I officially have to grown up) I mean I have the body of an 80 year old because of thee
pains and the problems wrong with it; and I have the mind of a sixteen year old... dirty and joking all the time.

Anyway *waves* I have got to attempt in my current state to clean my room, this should be fun. *rolls eyes* bye.

Too much road to cover and yeah its a bitch I'm still behind.

2007-07-16T06:48:00.000-07:00

Okay I said I would refrain from ranting. Which I have, Actually I haven't written anything at all *slaps hand* I bet this will make nadia feel better. oh btw nadia thankyou for telling me about the sale on Naruto dvds but I still can't believe you bought 3 sets... Why You only need one.Wait on second... your planning on selling them on arent you? damn you child. lol.
Okay my eyes hurt and is giving me migrane because for two days I have worked trying for the first time to colour in something that I have drawn. Bleach Fan Art. It took me two days to be patient and do the outline and colour it in, then when it came to the background. I had no will left and gave it any old background but it still came out okay. check it out >>>>>FIRST COLOURED PIC<<<<<Hopefully one day I will become as good as Fran. Blissychild You own all DA artists period.

Today we got our new house. Nice area.. private housing. I'm back to Anerley room size conditions. It is going to make me miss my spacious room that I have now. I wont have no Tv or desk. But I can Deal with that I too. I had to before, I guess I have to stop being selfish and deal with it. It has a tiny kitchen and an Okay livingroom and tiny bathroom and of course my mothers mansion size bedroom.
But I wont miss, the mice and rats that have started to appear in the kitchen and the problems wrong with this house. Plus, my family knowing where we are and could kill us at anytime (trust me if they got a good shot and wouldn't go to prison for it ... trust me they would take it)
I guess I'll have to party in the space I have now and get as much of it in my system before I move into that house.

Um made a bleach messageboard.. (dont smile fran you did this to me)

Its my bday next week on tuesday. Yeah you all better remember that. Plus another year for the blog as it has another bday yeyness.

Omg must buy rockfest tickets or I will be screwed, eventhough certain stalkers are going I must go. I will go, come on Brigade and INME under one roof. I will be mad to miss this.
Back problems (yeah my cyst is trying to grow back praying to god I wont have to go through the surgery because it takes a long time to heal from that and last time during that op my heart stopped or I stopped breathing. Either way, I had a huge tube down my darn throat when I woke up) or not, I will be there jumping (oh I can imagine the pain now) and singing for my life ... so whose with me? *cordie looks around and hears nothing but silence* Anybody?!? lol.
Uni results have come out except I dont know what I got because stupid me has forgotten my Gateway details.

For some odd reason though I want one of those digital photo frames, but I might as well forget about one of those, because eventho it is tiny I aint gonna have no where to put it in my new room XD.

Plus I must state this for no reason Byakuka is one fine piece of ass. Smexyness, just overflows mate. *cough* anyway.... um bye *waves*

Kayane Newly acclaimed lady of the shadow is bowing out .. well kinda.

2007-06-05T20:13:00.000-07:00

I dont even know how to start off this blog entry... for this is no longer a blog.
what do I mean exactly? I've been thinking for a while that voicing myself aloud ecspecially in certain circumstances or talking on my day whether good or bad gets me nowhere.
(and before you say it, no I am not picking a fight, this is not because of you guys it just shows its about time I stop writing entries that to me is just realeasing a tiny bit of anger, to others it offends)
Dont get me wrong, I will write in here... things like surveys, quiz's, new show or video that I've watched. Things like that.
but I will refrain from rants, a break down of my week. I may still give bullet point updates. but that's it.
I know no one never asked me to give up writing in my blog, I just dont want to rant or say anything anymore and it somehow being used agaisnt me (once again still not picking a fight it has been done in the past) or people being greatly offended by it when it was just something to do, to past the time for me. Because of this, this blog has slightly lost its edge and I cannot regain that, not in my current situation and its current state. ( also the best way to tiptoe around certain subjects is just not to talk about them)

Plus I have no more use to really have a blog anymore, I've got msn, myspace and facebook anyone who wants to know how I am can find out there right???? lol.

So I'm done.

its been fun.

Love ya loads guys (can't wait for those offliners because I know what they are gonna say... *laughs*) and nadia stop challenging me to fight you on that naruto game you're a jounin, I'm only a friggin academy student I dont want my ass to be kicked lol... Plus read the lastest manga ep...OMG WHAT, WHY, WHEN?KUBUTO HUH? EXCUSE MOI ?CORINNE IS CONFUSED...Has Kubuto got orich's mind and sasuke has his spirit or what??
cordie x x x

Girls are bitches - so fed up for them as friends.

2007-05-26T05:18:00.000-07:00

Hey everyone I am actually meant to be at church right now. I am cuddled up in a blanket and not feeling too well, my head is still funky and my eyes really hurt.*cries*

I Don't really have anything to say except.

I brought a new dvd player, because the other one decided it was going to break. I bought the same one (because its cute) but in silver.

I dont know even why I started this entry I mean I have been writing tons of these of recent. I dont know I thnk I perfer doing this than having long convos on msn or human contact.I am kind of liking being by myself, and not having to explain and sit and talk to people. This is all takes to long to do these days and I just come out of it feeling exhausted.

I can say to one person, who I actually miss. Dave, you were so right mate, you were so right and I chose not to listen to you. I should have taken you up on manchester lol.

The people I thought really did understand me, the people who I thought I can trust... Ha .. you really can't. Its DTA all the way now.

Anyway apparently my uni friends are going out today as well today (they went out yesterday), might as well go and have fun with them.

cya round x x x

Random things I got of Komal

2007-05-25T09:21:00.000-07:00

RULES:1. Put Your itunes on Shuffle2. For each question, press the next button to get your answer.3. YOU MUST WRITE THAT SONG NAME (just name!!!) DOWN NO MATTER HOW SILLY IT SOUNDSIF SOMEONE SAYS "IS THIS OKAY" YOU SAY?Absurd

HOW WOULD YOU DESCRIBE YOURSELF?Strange and beautiful (see my Zen vision m speaks the truth XD Kidding.)

WHAT DO YOU LIKE IN A GUY/GIRL? These arms of mine (lol)

HOW DO YOU FEEL TODAY? Will you (shakes around and headbangs)

WHATS YOUR LIFES PURPOSE? Everytime

WHAT IS YOUR MOTTO? I miss you

WHAT DO YOUR FRIENDS THINK OF YOU? Unforgivable sinner (lol)

WHAT DO YOU THINK OF YOUR PARENTS? I'm not Okay (you damn right look at what
damn people have done to me)

WHAT DO YOU THINK ABOUT VERY OFTEN? Too lost in you

WHAT IS 2+2?Killing me softly

WHAT DO YOU THINK OF YOUR BESTIE? Until the day I die

WHAT DO YOU THINK OF THE PERSON YOU LIKE? Error operator

WHAT IS YOUR LIFE STORY? Guillotine (lol)

WHAT DO YOU WANT TO BE WHEN YOU GROW UP? Die Romantic (wahey)

WHAT DO YOU THINK WHEN YOU SEE THE PERSON YOU LIKE? *laughs* Bow down and
worship him. *still cracking up*

WHAT DO YOUR PARENTS THINK OF YOU? Stockholm syndrome

WHAT WILL YOU DANCE TO AT YOUR WEDDING?Because of you (damn that song should never be at a wedding unless if I am marrying chris or my dad and marrying my dad ewww incest)

WHAT WILL THEY PLAY AT YOUR FUNERAL? (nah this harsh ) cries in vain.

WHAT IS YOUR HOBBY/INTEREST?Dice (well its from the o.c so yeah your not half wrong)

WHAT IS YOUR BIGGEST FEAR? Take it off (lol yeah that's what Aj would frikkin say. Too afraid to take off them clothes are ya.)

WHAT IS YOUR BIGGEST SECRET?I'm loving it (what exactly)

WHAT DO YOU THINK OF YOUR FRIENDS? Take me under (that definately does not right)

WHAT WILL YOU POST THIS AS: Every six seconds.

Topic: Growing up, People changing like hell they do.

2007-05-23T18:10:00.000-07:00

So here is my theory, on the bus home I have been contemplating all the factors that add up to people changing. people wont like it and probably wont agree with it so I warn you now.

Okay today I got a lecture about people growing up and people changing from Kaz and Jay. Basically, we saw charlotte today (Yeah I just had to say I would just laugh if charlotte was there) Its not that I hate her and want to hack her head off ... no I really don't. I just don't want to be anywhere near her.
They say people change as they get older. I don't believe that crap. Basically to change meaning the would change the way they are totally, think and react to to things, that they someway have to change their entire perspective, to your ideal. of to how you have wanted them to be changed. O r maybe not in to your ideal, just a person, which must be taken on as someone completely different.
Making all your wrongs that people find in you completely right.

You can't sit there and cater to every one's way they want to change you.

To me, that's impossible, so when people say they have changed I normally smile and say that's nice for them, but after a few months, this "change" wears away in to nothingness and here we are again, at the same old layer we first saw and started with and once again hated.

To me saying that people have changed, is like smoke and trickery. Illusions created in the inner intention to fool you. But pull away the smiles, and the fake laughter and the clothes and attitude and guess what you have got, the same old person you fell out once before.

So I understand this whole concept of being a christian to forgiving and forgetting, but the best way of forgiving and forgetting is keep away as far as possible,Yes, you can do all the pleasantries of hello and goodbye and so forth or how you would love to do you pleasantries. but also keeping away avoids these fake conversations about how you are? and what you are up to? because really behind all those little speeches is are hidden messages of that underlying need to be better than the other, or to show that we have grown this whole new personality and gained this whole new world and perspective on things and once again that precious word "changed"

But really its all fake.

I no longer want to do fake.

I no longer want to talk about the good old days and how we have all changed. Take chantelle prime example. she back came after her 30 second rape, nice clean clothes, unscratched, no dna under her fingernails and left . She then returns after months and months of not seeing her.

I've changed she exclaims as I first see her, I don't need men like shaun in my life. Funny enough, who is she with now and treating her like complete trash while he is cheating on her with his ex.... Oh right *looks over chantelle's shoulder* Oh Hi shaun.

So we may get older, facially, maybe we might grow to like different things, but one thing we keep, is how we make our friendships. how appreciate those around us, our main intention for that friend.

Friendships like I have had with a couple people in the past, I was a door mat. I help people do everything for them, even when I have things to be doing for myself. if they said "hey cordie I need your help could you...." I would be like yeah I was in the middle of something but I'll will help. But they would use my name as a scape goat. To know that "good old reliable cordie" would always
be there to help them in their time of need and disappear in her own.

So its not hatred, I just feel the further I stay away the more I can protect myself, for slipping back into old habits.

I would have tried to explain this to jay and Kaz, but its hard to get a word in sometimes and when I do, there is not point in it, so most of debating is not worth the hassle.

Okay I think I am done, Yep I think I am.

Howdy doodie nice people. Stop messing up naruto for me you baka's

2007-05-19T15:23:00.000-07:00

First I am going to go on to a yey and hello all spree then after I am going to go into a rant. If you dont watch Naruto at all you may want to skip the second bit... Right *rubs hands together* time to start.

Hey all, I have got so many emails from people who stil keep an eye on this place, telling me that I need to write something new.Lol. AM I THAT ENTERTAINING? XD. Anyway, uni doesn't allow me to have the pleasures of being free to do anything that involves a social life... minus me drinking coke in the pub and watching my uni mates make complete prats out of them selves, which by the way I will get to see again next friday. Lol. I have to take pictures and show you these insane people.

Well I can happily say though, I have finished all my exams, they were hard *cries* Law was great, I felt I had done excellent in that and working in organisations, its just that darn quants and a bit of frigging economics which is worrying me a tad too much. Eveyone came out that exam with one word hanging from our trembling lips.... that word.... that great word was SHIT. Yes in a row 7 people said it. Then after there was this whole thing where everyone kept saying to everyone "I'll see you in retakes" lol.

If you haven't noticed... I have a new blog design, which may I add I did mysel, yeah same all design but is dedicated to sasuke, eventhough I hate the little fuck, he looks sooo cute in that pic, so I had to have him on here lol. Nadia already left me off liners praising the design (she's a sasuke fan girl.... Kakashi should kick some sense into that boys ass seriously Nads)and she litraly sending me kissing down webcam when I signed online,why? just because I used some certain music in the background.... anyone other than Nadia (yes you are not allowed to participate you heard me) who can tell me what music is the background? where it originates from? or whose theme it is? If you can I'll give you big hand claps on webcam lol. Also I look kinda emo in the pic of the week lol... Had to show off my konoha leaf village head band... lol I know sad... but nadia has one too, but she has the sound village one (you villian)lol. This is all toms fault he got me into this damn anime, and I'm watching it like 24/7 lol.

Other than that everything has been good, my exams are finally finished, I am free, only problem with that is that I need a job. I can't deal with another broke summer dude, it would drive me crazy. Although I have been going ebay crazy again ( I really have to stop that)Anyway on to my next point... these damn idiots who keep on spoiling shipuuden for me.

Right listen you stupid little crappy mongolian desert ratty I know what happens in the storyline next my dad works here there and everywhere shits (s'cuse the lang). Its nice that yo know what happens that good for you, but can you not put in a place where people generally dont wanna know. But right now I am up to date (finally) with naruto episodes and shipuuden and still waiting for episodes to load.

I've already found because of those dumbasses that

- sasuke kills orichemeru.
- Sasuke stabs and murders naruto in the end.
- That Gaara dies.
- Kakashi dies too ( nnooooo not my baby)

Is there any point of me watching it now, nope I didn't think so... I might as well move on to the next anime that brings slight interest because the rest of the season is just messed up.

But from season 1 to 9 anyone who hasn't watched it... (yes naruto is very annoying) but other than him the storyline is wicked.

Plus, because of people I keep on seeing Kakashi's face.... his real face without the mask.... very sad. He looks hot but I wanted to be a surprise lol.

Anyway I am done, with my litte geeky chat.In about 10 weeks I turn 20 ARGH....OMG ...I'M OLD.Must cling on to being a teenager for dear life.

what goes around comes back around... biatch I know everything about karma I run that biatch

2007-04-20T16:44:00.000-07:00

Hey guys

Just generally on here to write something... I personally love the song (which is apparently about me ) next .. we all know it, its by JT and its called what goes around comes around. Alex (who is now trying the I hate you for what you have done to me approach) started an argument with me... telling me how much he loves me then posting me te lyrics to this song lol. Which I am just gonna pick apart and have fun with lol

Hey girl, is he everything you wanted in a man?
- well technically he wasn't a man, he was a boy. aint they much sweeter when they are ripe lol.
You know I gave you the world
- wow really you did, world bow before me I say, sniff the ground like the slaves you are.
You had me in the palm of your hand
- awww well aint that sweet I have held tissue in the palm of my hand too and wiped my ass with it.
So why your love went away
- It didn't I was just got fantastically drunk.. hmm the things alcohol does to ya *smiles*
I just can't seem to understand
- Martha anyone no? we all dont understand what a shocking time it must be for you.
Thought it was me and you babe
- Yea sure me and you my mum , my friends, your friends and my apparent lover *cracks up laughing*
Me and you until the end
- damn that sounds possesive and slightly stalker like (thinks about you) yep very fitting.
But I guess I was wrong
- hell frikking yeah.
Don't want to think about it
- dont then
Don't want to talk about it
- when you dont speak the world is a better place
I'm just so sick about it
- medicine anyone?
Can't believe it's ending this way
- well its just a darn shame babe innit?
Just so confused about it
- mmmmnmnmnmnmnmartha
Feeling the blues about it
- *laughs*
I just can't do without ya
- well I know that already you keep on mentioning that you wanna kill yourself because I am not in your life.
Tell me is this fair?
- hmm no not really but when you slapped me I deserved it but that wasn't fair.

Is this the way it's really going down?
- yep
Is this how we say goodbye?
- Yes again
Should've known better when you came around
- came around to where huh what I dont understand lol
That you were gonna make me cry
- *hugs* well next time when you are gonna cry tell me so I can run in the opposite direction.
It's breaking my heart to watch you run around
- run around with whom... oh him yeah I remember..
'Cause I know that you're living a lie
- living a lie wow harsh words.
That's okay baby 'cause in time you will find...
- food, chewing gum, the secrets to world peace,hitler, a clone of me, jaja binks what???!?

What goes around, goes around, goes around
- does it really
Comes all the way back around
- oooh can't wait.
What goes around, goes around, goes around
- *dances around in a circle*
Comes all the way back around
- yeah heard that already
What goes around, goes around, goes around
- damn okay I get the point
Comes all the way back around
- yesh yesh yesh comes around back around mmmhmmm
What goes around, goes around, goes around
*watches people kartwheeling around her* yeah it really does.
Comes all the way back around
- thankyou you finally finished .. oh wait oh crap he's still singing.
Now girl, I remember everything that you claimed
- what was that then?
You said that you were moving on now
- yes.... yes infact I am, wanna take a few pages out of my book?
And maybe I should do the same
- Yes I agree, I hate stakers and you are turning into one.
Funny thing about that is
- yeeeeeeeaaaaaaaaahhhh *aragorn style*
I was ready to give you my name
- I know but I dont think Corinne Fatone goes. Plus btw I have lost my ring.can't find it sorry about that.
Thought it was me and you, babe
- yeah me too...but on one cold winters night when you left me all alone in london I got naughty actually another thing it was more than once *smiles*
And now, it's all just a shame
- yes it is I agree.
And I guess I was wrong
- Well you wasn't wrong it was me and you, until you started being a prick.

Don't want to think about it
- oh here we go again
Don't want to talk about it
I'm just so sick about it
- give me a bucket and I will throw up at the cheesyness.
Can't believe it's ending this way
Just so confused about it
Feeling the blues about it
I just can't do without ya
- yep we know, you da knows, your sister knows, michael jackson and bubbles know.
Can you tell me is this fair?
- what that michael jackson and bubbles know, well I dont know, that's upto you personally

Don't want to think about it (no)
- go on think about it, I dare ya go on.
Don't want to talk about it
- apparently that's all you talk about these days.
I'm just so sick about it
- throw up and maybe you might feel better
Can't believe it's ending this way
- well neither can I
Just so confused about it
- what confused I didn't like your friggin rape "joke"
Feeling the blues about it (yeah)
- yeah well you should have thought twice about it
I just can't do without ya
- well I can do without you, I still love you though.
Tell me is this fair?
- kinda

Is this the way things are going down?
Is this how we say goodbye?
Should've known better when you came around (should've known better that you were gonna make me cry)
- I remember that day, I didn't know where to look now that I think back on it, it was quite funny.
That you were going to make me cry
- still doing that are we.
Now it's breaking my heart to watch you run around
'Cause I know that you're living a lie
But that's okay baby 'cause in time you will find

- back to this again.
What goes around, goes around, goes around
- more cartwheeling people
Comes all the way back around
What goes around, goes around, goes around
Comes all the way back around
- Yeah like that punch I gave you after you slapped me biatch.
What goes around, goes around, goes around
Comes all the way back around
What goes around, goes around, goes around
Comes all the way back around

[Comes Around interlude:]

Let me paint this picture for you, baby
- ooooh go on then I love pictures, I do, I friggin do.
You spend your nights alone
- nope I am usually with my normal mates or uni mates, or even my mum.
And he never comes home
- he who? *scared voice* There's a male living in my house? quick somebody call the police.
And every time you call him
All you get's a busy tone
- busy tone yeah blud always busy.
I heard you found out
- Yes My embarkment on finding hitler was very successful thanks for mentioning it.
That he's doing to you
What you did to me
- nope not really, since we aint together and it was just a few drunken nights
Ain't that the way it goes
- as I proved above your little theory is so ... what the word... wrong.

You cheated girl
- Still am genuinely sorry about that.
My heart bleeds girl
- stop bleeding on my nice clean floor.
So it goes without saying that you left me feeling hurt
- well I would say I did leave you feeling hurt, but imagine how I felt I couldn't wear my ring anymore.
Just a classic case
A scenario
Tale as old as time
Girl you got what you deserved
- I got what I deserved *looks around at her gleeming laptop,Mp3 player, new guitar, new phone,new clothes* yes I did thanks for that.
And now you want somebody
- nope not really, you guys are too much effort, but I heard you dont want anyone just want me.
To cure the lonely nights
- like I said nights filled with people
You wish you had somebody
- nope
That could come and make it right
- *laughs*
But girl I ain't somebody with a lot of sympathy
- well thanks anyway for trying
You'll see
- yey look at those monkey fly *somebody whispers in cordie's ear* I mean look at those monkey's swing.
(What goes around comes back around)
I thought I told ya, hey
- yeah I know... a few times above.
(What goes around comes back around)
I thought I told ya, hey
- that you weer gay I knew that too
(What goes around comes back around)
I thought I told ya, hey
- taht you friends are frikkin liars
(What goes around comes back around)
I thought I told ya, hey
- that you were a dumbass who likes the sounds of his own voice.
[laughs]
See?
You should've listened to me, baby
- Yes if I had listened to you I would be a fool.
Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah
- someone was just filling the time in this song.
Because
(What goes around comes back around)
[laughs]
- what you laughing at your the one who is miserable.

Anyway I am done people, just had to that. oh btw I finally got my new guitar but within a few hours of playing it I broke a steel string. So I have to buy more

Babes.. what?!? Can you get the britneys in?

2007-04-15T18:52:00.000-07:00

Hey everybody, Hows it going? everything is good with me, yeyness. I have been okay just got the last bit of stuff to do with uni. revision and stuff to completeand a business plan which I have have to open up a business with Ozzie and fiona. A hairdressing shop lol.

Anyway, I got locked out of my house. Yes the lock just kept spinning around. We had to ask neighbours too help us get into our house. They gave us a screwdriver and basically the words of get to work came to mind lol. So anyway the guy that lives upstairs tried to get in through our kitchen window but of course it is too high up. So after my mum's much stubborn attitude (which is very often for her may I add) finally decided to call the locksmith.So we call up our landlord (who didn't give us his mobile number, but everyone else in the building has it) and is like I aint paying to get a locksmith. So we called the locksmith anyway... to cut a very long story short.
We called the first locksmith who decided to take an hour and an half to tell us that he couldn't someone out to us. Then we called a second company who took a long ass time to come. It was so long there are pictures of me by my door, falling asleep. lol.

Mr landlord who said he weren't payin for us to get in our house. Had to pay because we weren't paying for jack *laughs* So I got the invoice to say haha bizatch you had to pay (well that's not what it said exactly)

umm had a good two weeks holi off. David is still begging me to go download... it just aint happening I am going st.lucia mate. sun, sea and money at my fingertips.

What else, what else. The corinne and blessed feud still continues, Well today at the feast, he decided to tell me that I was a lazy bum and that if I didn't get off my ass he would spit in my face *laughs* I just laughed in his face. I didn't even bother with him. The feast though at church was great... minus the fact that sometimes I feel I uncomfortable being there, because they want me to dance and try and be part of them. Sometimes, I dunno I feel sepearate though.

I am trying to keep going to church, be more strong. lol

I didn't get much pics of the feast, but when brother lyndon gets his he will probably give me some.

Trying to move house and I am still looking.

My brother is finally out of prison.

The gang went to have chinese during uni break (easter/ reading week) and I couldn't finish food. Me and my black self couldn't finish jack.

I have an assignment to hand in which I am procrastinating on.

Money on thursday, oh yeahhhh bubs, the smexi one is going shoppin'

Buying a new phone after the one I have had for so long decided to give up on me... Poor thing.

Still trying to find a house.

Posting up this pic to make lex happy lol (the things I do for you):

Just thinking of how hunger is gonna strike me for a few days.

Anyway people Love ya but I gotta go and do this damn assignment. X X X

कोर्दिए लोवेस यू हर्द्कोरे

(cordie loves you hardcore)

Keep holding on.... Cus I know we'll make it through. I'll make through.

2007-04-01T07:40:00.000-07:00

so I finally finished my three day fast and have been going very easy on foods and what not.

today one of my mums old friends tina came round... Now at times me and tina use to butt heads and she used to get on my right nerve. but then again there were times when tina was compasionate, lovely and generally sweet.

So the was all this enticipatiob being made up from my mum. Apparently, she was the one who made my mum "smile" again... HA. Anyway, so my mum goes to pick her up from the bus stop and then they arrive at the door. Tina has a baby (her baby is soooo cute) but anyway,she comes standing infront of me and I was like "hey tina, tina tina tina" and turns to me and gives me the most dirtest look ever and says "you haven't changed a bit" I felt so hurt because I was actually nice to her. Of course my mum wasn't paying attention she was too busy fuzzing over the baby.

So she looked over her shoulder again like why are you still standing there. I wass so angry that she was in my house and still managing to make me feel down about myself. What am I supposed to do, get a face transplant? totally change who I am because you want me too. I am a tomboy, yes I dont alway dress in higheels and random crap and friggin skirts. The funniest thing yeah, this damned woman hasn't changed either. She is still wearing skin tight clothes, her hair is still gelled down like no mans business. All that has changed about her is that she doesn't sound like she stepped right off the banana boat and has actually grasped our way of living. Damn she angered me.

Plus when my mum was like say hi to corinne she was like nah that's enough give him back now he needs to eat.

So I just kept myself at a distance, which envolves me sitting here writing this entry.

I only hope that tomorrow is this sunny, because I feel like sitting out in the sunshine with a couple of friends and just watching the day pass by and crank up some tunes in the park.

It's the way he is in your mind.

2007-03-27T11:28:00.000-07:00

Pretty girl is suffering, while he confesses everything
Pretty soon she'll figure out what his intentions were about
She's beautiful as usual with bruises on her ego and
Her killer instinct tells her to beware of evil men

And that's what you get for falling again
You can never get 'em out of your head
And that's what you get for falling again
You can never get 'em out of your head

It's the way
That he makes you cry
It's the way
That he in your mind
It's the way
That he makes you fall in love

It's the way
That he makes you feel
It's the way
That he kisses you
It's the way
That he makes you fall in love

- Mixed Verses Pretty girl by Sugarcult

Alex came to see me on sunday.. it was call we stayed up all night chatting and laughing. My mum wasn't exactly around
so no restriction of time. So anyway, his sister is recovering a bit he told me. I am so happy about that, made me smile, I did jump on him
and hugged him because I was so please and just generally happy.

um i think I need some help ... I have become addicted to sailor moon live action. what is wrong with me. I have to stop going on youtube, its making me get in contact with my inner child.
that wills me to watch these things lol. Everyone knows I already, for some wierd reason liked mercury in the cartoon, damn she is hot and evil in the live action version *tries to shut self up* and tuxedo Kamen (tuxedo mask) also known as mamoru ( darien)
is *drools* anyway no-one can take the piss out of me because he was a cartoon because now he is real so ner to you.

been also watching loads of ugly betty *shakes head* and kitchen confidential (show cracks me up). I dunno I think I should stop watching tv. it makes me into this obsessive I must watch next episode person.

And can abc please release Alias season 5 on dvd... some who haven't seen it are itching too. (you see what I mean)

I really feel in the mood for a mocha frappachino and its like 02:02 in the morning. Okay ever since I have started uni I have become coffee and coke hooked (well coke has always been there.. and no not the coke you sniff).
I think its because of lecturers and everytime after a lecture someone always mentions lets go and get a coffee. lol.So when I am doing my two days no sleep. that is the only thing that keeps me alive and awake.Okay and random dancing around my room
but that's it lol.

going to see the symbo boys play on wednesday *w00t* get to jump around. I felt bad last time. Andy told me to come, he put me on the guestlist and everything and because of things that week I forgot to turn up lol. So everyone remind me wednesday... gig.

No offence but how come African guys keep stalking me and telling me they want to marry me and for me to have their kids. They can take me to see their parents in all different parts of africa, one even said take me back to my home town. As far as I know, my home town is either london, u.k or Vieux-fort st.lucia.
I mostly have asian in me. its doesn't show because of my dad. Some people can tell though, because my hair is softer most of the time without relaxer, and my eyes look like they have eyeliner around them sometimes, when they don't.

Apparently my mum thinks that I am going to get married to a white guy. She has a "feeling" I was like oh little do you know. lol

my brother comes out of prison in a few days... dont know whether to be excited or to think oh hey bro when you going in again and leave me here with your crap to sort out.

OTHER UPDATES.

+ uni is having a ball lol. That should be eventful

- No money... running really low. Must get new job, must get it quickly. Student loan comes in 3 weeks... hold on I say for dear life.

- I want to go download, but I got better things to pay money for. I can't believe that brigade weren't invited to do download *shouts at them* YOU GUYS SUCCCCKKKKK.

+ PS3 *W00TS* too expensive yes... come christmas things will be better. I love it how critics are like are you willing to pay £400 quid for ps3 or are you willing to pay £200 for xbox and I was like ummmm you guys are frikking stupid. Xbox was that same price its only because they wanted to be competative that they brought their prices down. Xbox knows it aint that good so they have to strive for damn sucess. Plus, damn its how the business goes right?

- JASMINE SEND OFF THAT DAMN POSTAL ORDER ALREADY. BEFORE I GET BLACK THINGIED ALREADY.I AM NOT CHANGING ACCOUNTS BECAUSE YOU HAVEN'T SENT IT OFF YET. I WILL KICK YOUR ASS CHILD.

Woah its funny how you can be happy one moment and just pissed off the next.

2007-03-20T18:34:00.000-07:00

why are people always sensitive about what I say. I just say it to prove a point, but some people just cant except truth.People are always low blowing me when I do it back. Oh how dare you corinne. lets all just get pissy now. Its not fun when the tables are turned. Its okay to make you feel shitty about being who you are, but lets not do it to me. Oh lets carry on in the brilliance of taking the piss.

I dont understand it.

People are so annoying, I swear I can't be near others because I will snap at them. Well I'm just keeping my cool at the moment.

Might just stay indoors for a few days.

lol some girl called me emo at uni again yesterday morning. Guess why? My hair cut (you mean the haircut I didn't have)
My hair has always been this style it just hasn't been long enough to go over my eyes.Think back to the days when my hair could actually fit in a pony tail, there was a fringe,when I was college there was a fringe.Now it is everyone is like why are you getting your hair cut like that. omg the great abomination to the lord.
Plus, if anyone was to cut my hair. it would be my mother... Do you really think I would go to my mother, give me an emo hair cut. She would be like who, what and where?.. emo what is this devilish thing you speak of lol.
Love that woman she cracks me up at times.

To prove a point not that most people care anyway:

I need a holiday, a break. From everyone. From the moaning constantly, the complaints and yada yada yada. I dont wanna hear it right now.

I have my own shit to deal with. I'm sure if I tell ya about it. I just tell you for the sake of telling you.

tired of being a passive smoker, when I wake up in the morning my breathing is terrible. Alex picked up on it before. I used to wheeze in the morning. Its coming back again.

Oh god I'm winging again lol... oh get use to it , exams are nearly here and I am procrastinating like never before.

Might go away and not tell anyone I'm going, minus my mum and maybe a few people (still deciding on that)but yeah just as soon as my break comes... I making a clean break and having some fun.

alex is coming down next week, I dunno why, he just said he was. So is David this sounds be interesting, well for you guys not for me.

I'm getting shell like again. I think I am out of practice of being sociable,bitchy and sociable all wrapped one fantastic package.

wanna get more serious about church. I can see some people going (That's if you aint already)

To sum up this entry southeast and it peeps are drying me up.

Now to end this entry up on a nice happy note. *takes shirt off and starts swinging it around my head* wooooooooo

Okay I am done... and to all my special friends *slap* lol

GO GO EMO RANGERS

2007-03-14T09:11:00.000-07:00

howdy everyone. Um not feeling good today, its that time of month, plus it is damn freezing in my house for some reason. The other day, me and Kaz found a video mighty moshin' emo rangers.... lol there are actually full episodes *laughs head off* but its just friggin funny, they even have merch out... I so wanna get a shirt... it just makes me laugh. anyway here's the intro the mighty moshin emo rangers lol...

People keep callin me emo(eventhough I aint depressed, I dont go around complaining about my hard ships of life and live in some damn middle class family, with a caring family,I dont cut,Dont wear those frikkin skinny jeans, or walk around with eyeliner like a damn panda, or wear those damn red ribbons in my hair, I just listen to their music and write angsty poetry that is only because I am touch with those felings more.. actually that sounds like I am trying to justify it, so never mind.) I could be token black emo ranger... Token black emo ranger has the power to jack the enemy without them noticing.lol, enough or stupid rambling.

Anyway, I am a bit pissed off today, because of the state my laptop is in. I left it at issa house got home with it and there are scratches on this laptop I have never seen before, greasy finger prints all over the keys and the screen, and damn tea marks over the keys, where the speakers are and the touch pad is as sticky as hell. So once again corinne is a fool for trusting people with her stuff.Plus, someone was trying to crack into my myspace account and it locked me out. Oh well.

Anyway, I am cold, rolling in agony and tired. Man uni is stressin me slightly. I have so much going on I am just trying to get a firm grip on everything. I have 3 assignments to hand in and one portfolio and then I am done for the year. *still got emo rangers theme tune stuck in my head* *hits self*.

bought some new shoes, going paintballin on sunday *w00ts* with friends from uni. oh yeah blud. Still tryin gto look for a new job where my manager isn't a perve.

All stalkers are slowly dying away yey. Life is so peaceful without them. A day without mohammed rubbing himself against me is a good day, any day when he doesn't look at me is even better. Shame the second one doesn't happen, but yeah he has finally left me alone, now all I have to deal with is toks. He is a harder stain to shift.

Feel like going to see brigade or symbo.. dunno. Ah well when I have cash.

Taken my exstentions out and I am ugly again lol. Happy thing though about it, my hair has grown yey.

what other things...

+ apparently my new name is nancy
+ My imvu character is a damn hooker and likes to show off her crotch to anyone who wishes to view it.
- I get my student loan in 36 days... oi people I am dying here lol. I want my holiday and my new guitar you know lol.

and for some reason I cannot be bothered to finish this entry. So I am out bye people xxxx

If your computer catches a virus while downloading porn, is that still counted as an std?/ I can't believe you are cheating on me... with your wife.

2007-03-09T05:36:00.000-08:00

Hey everyone *waves like mad* How are we all? hope you are good. Just giving a little update, since I haven't given one in ages for you all who still check this thing. You must love my ass. Thanx for sticking 'round and yada yada yada. (Yeah that really showed my appreciation *shakes head*)

Anyway, things have been good. Uni, I love this place. Minus the work load and certain ecspecailly this person below...

This is fiona. I mean I didn't like her at first, then I grew to like her. Now I like her but I don't.
Reasons being:

She is so fashion concious it hurts.. I mean she is like going around asking everyone why they aren't in skinny jeans (ewwwww.). SKINNY JEANS SUCK ASS MAN.
She is always saying stuff like oh that person is so ugly and why are they wearing that and yada yada.
She is always talking about her inheritance and how much money she has.She depends on her 'rents too much , that if they left her for one day, she would commit suicide because she would be so clueless
She lies like a professional
She is a user
A fake. *dances around* Just look at me, look at me nooooowwwww... I'm a fake, I'm a fake.
There are so many things that I dislike about this girl. I can't believe I actually once upon a week ago considered her as a friend.

Anyway, couldn't go to a lew tutorial and I told sandra to take my baby (my mp3player) and record the tutorial for me. Since I would be in the library trying to finish off my Working in orgz assignment.
So sandra took my mp3 player and recorded the tutorial. Little did miss fiona know that, that happened. So when I was just about to start my law Assignment (oh I love law. Its so interesting) I thought I would listen to the tutorial to get some ideas. I heard fiona saying to my lecturer, that she didn't think I was going to pass Law, that I was not capable of completing this course. That she is better than me in all subjects. Telling my lecturer that I am bunking the tutorial because I couldn't be bothered to come.That she gave me notes from the last tutorial and I couldn't understand them.
As you can Imagine when I heard this, my mouth was like hanging... This is the reason why. In Law and other subjects, I have to help fiona, take time and sit with her in the library to explain crap to her. In working in Orgz we had a TCA I had the 2 highest score out of my business group, and the girl never gave me no notes, she just said that I had to be in lecture to understand them. When I also insisted on her giving me the notes she happily declined.

So I then started my law assignment and stayed up all night to do it. So When I got to uni I could find the rest of my cases and acts to cite. Sign it in and go home. So I got to the library after staying up all night. I come across fiona in the library. Guess what, girl has just started the assignment is now asking me for help. This is where my plan came in... but I wont discuss it here.
So I went about doing my work, she started carrying books to me, sucking up, being nice, just so I would help her. I outlined what she had to do and I helped her no further. I acted like nothing was wrong as everyone knows, I am damn great at.
I was talking to sandra and Aj about it. Lets just say certain things are already in motion.

To all the people who thought my life shattered into a million pieces (let me have time to tell you it didn't it was hardly an indent) when they left this is for you *laughs*:
And also to my close knit of friends this is a update that you probably already know hehe:

Things are good. I am moving again soon by the end of this month. I only have one more assignment to do for the rest of this year *w00ts*.

I am actually third in the whole uni, its a system they have to make their students work harder and I am third. Go cordie, go cordie.

I am going paintballing in two weeks with my uni mates. omg I can just imagine the war there is going to be. lol.

I am actually a christian now. Lol scary stuff I know. I do sometimes still havbe the tendancy to swear, but its a bond I need to break.

I don't drink anymore. If I do have a drink, I dont drink to get drunk. (Yeah I know everyone is saying, well what's the point then. Drinking gets tierd after a while. but for the new people, have your fun while it lasts lol)

I might have a job as a training Legal executive when I leave uni.
Apparently I am a guy magnet at the moment. Everyone must be on drugs because everyone fancies me. Honestly, I keep asking Kaz is everyone going crazy, has everyone lost their minds lol.

Buying a new guitar by the end of next month.YEEEEAAAHHH BABY MONEY SPENDAGE LOL.
Might be have a get together for my 20th. God I feel so old. I act so mature now, its actually starting to scare me. I mean I have my moments when I regress for a while.

I found out that Jay (yes jasmine) watches the bratz tv programme on a regular basis. aWWWWW. LOL.

Might be travelling around u.k come summer and maybe america, if I am lucky. I'll be going Scotland,Manchester (david is planning to stay up there),dorset,Yorkshire (yey vic mate another visit coming your way.Awww this time I can't jack any posters outside the cinema in the town :(lol),leed and a few others.

oh and do you remember in Buffy, the becoming part 2 where willow started chanting in her evil crazed eye way. The fact that I had watched that episode so many times the incantation got stuck in my head. Well guess what I found out it actually does mean something. Its latin. I thought it was.

Te implor doamne, nu ignora accasta rugaminte! niche morth niche althientay. Lasa orbita sa fie vasul care i va transporta sufletul la el![I CALL ON YOU, GODS, DO NOT IGNORE THI SUPPLICATION!LET THE ORB BE THE VESSEL TO CARRY HIS SOUL TO HIM!] este scris, aceasta putere este dreptul poporuil meu de conduce [IT IS WITTEN, THIS POWER IS MY RIGHT TO WIELD] Asa sa fie! Acum [LET IT BE SO! NOW!] lol I was speaking Latin all this time lol.

Things are turning out to okay, really okay.

anyway people, I am off. I may comment again... or just add to this one.

Niggahs I love ya like a fat guy loves cake xxx

yeah I so what if I put a bomb in the lecture hall

2007-02-22T20:31:00.000-08:00

Hey guys umm this is a video based entry. Um basically I have been on you tube all night doing my daily downloading... lol

anyway I actually went of episodes of mutant x and I remember having the argument with random people that victor webster (coup from charmed) looked better as brennan from Mutant x. I mean he was hotttt in mutant x I think it was the whole electricity thing. *sighs*
even though brennan and emma have never been a couple in mutant x... these two videos looks like they should have been because shalimar was just a skank. lol... but anyway coup filled videos below.

The next one is this funny, but stupid comedy thing basically she is taking the piss out of emo's by becoming one herself lol. It cure my minutes of boredom lol you just have to watch it the first one about the dust I was like wth? I must admit she is pretty most guys are gonna like her. The first one is called "the words are dying" and the second one is called "hiders and seekers" lol

enjoy... this video is about martha I am telling you.

Let it be I say, let it be

2007-02-18T15:35:00.000-08:00

Hey everyone... Guess what... I finished my 7 days fast and am now on fruit and stuff. I have lost weight because apparently with fasting you lose like a pound a day lol. So I have a flat stomach and little appetite and I have to have 4 ounces (8 table spoons) of food every 4 hours.. I can't rush and eat it will damage me .

So anyway.. I am feeling good today.. I mean I had an experiance today adn for the first time I understood why mum was so happy in being a christian. I dont know what it was today but while everyone was in tounges, I felt my tongue become loose, my stomach started to feel there was something in it and I could feel this presence in my throat. I also starting crying uncontrollably.Funniest thing through out it all I felt so much joy. I am actually starting to believe. I am goign to become a more dedicated christian.. Scary eh? but for me , peaceful.

I do though have to train my thoughts, because around a certain person. I get all day dreamy and I am not kidding its getting the worst of me.

I've just finished having some foos and I got uni in the morning.

This week alone, has been a strange but insightful week.

I wish I could makeyou guys understand more clearly, but maybe if you guys try it you may understand more clearer... I dunno. Anyway people I am off. Love ya all x x x

oh also it was my mum's bday on saturday. I got her a footspa and a card she loves it. A person from church got her loads of ballons saying happy bday and her name on it.. look at her doesn't she just look so happy ...awwwwww.

Today is my day to shine smiles

2007-02-14T09:30:00.000-08:00

Hey everyone ... just thought I write another message. I dunno why...

Um updates :

I am on my 3rd day of fasting so far so good... I got 4 more days, I have lost a bit of weight already. My jeans are kinda sliding off me. Water has become my favourite friend. lol.

It's valentines day today... yey for all you couples have a great night tonight. I was supposed to be going on a cruise party today with my uni friends, but because of the fasting, I am kinda weak. Plus, my mum thought it would be very unfair to me.. if I was there while everyone was eating so sorry guys, tell me about it tonight when you get back.

I also got invited to the London MCM expo... by one of my deviant art friends... the very few I have. lol.. there will be a dev meet there so... all the people and deviant art members, make a show even for the party. Cus I know I will be... Plus, *cries* I must run upto and hug Zaku or even deathsy. Okay I have just became 12 again lol.

um what else what else... umm... can't think of anything and I had so much to say at the beginning.

Anyway... Happy V day people and happy birthday sister rose x x x

damn nigger.... its well freezing up in here...

2007-02-08T06:48:00.000-08:00

Ok my boiler broke yesterday, so I had to sleep in the freezing cold. These people said they were going to come and fix this boiler... at 8 in the morning today... So I wait patiently. It is now 15:01 and these niggas still aint at my doorstep lol.

So I am sitting here in the freezing cold... honestly... freezing my ass off. My fan heaters arent working... and there is just snow outside my windows lots of it.

I am tierd and cold, and have to finish tons of work... But I aint down... I am happy.

Um Just finished having a convo with about him showing me his dick and he was angry because I wouldn't show him anything... what do you think this is free friggin porn. I aint one of your net sluts. He is a nice guy but sometimes he pisses me off... get use to the fact that aint showing you jack. Hell no I aint lowering myself to please you ass oh please.

Um I have put a new pic and video today... Might change my blog by next week. I wont have anything else to do. Also next week I will be fasting for 7 days... Yesh seven days. I may be a little skeletal after it lol. My new pic is of me and my older brother Thomas... who I got to see yesterday, who actually stood in my bedroom and hung out with me. He hasn't done that in ages... that could be because he is in prison. But he was allowed a home visit for four days, but he stayed with my dad *shakes head*after all that man put your through. Anyway it is his choice. The video is of my mate Ajnoop (Aj) we were in the disney store after uni and he decided to try and play with a hula hoop. He was putting so much concentration into it... it was just funny to watch shame I only got only a few seconds of him trying to.

I'm still working on my gallery but until then... I have a crappy bravenet one in its place.

I wanted a picture of the snow this morning ... but I couldn't be bothered to go to argos for decent batteries lol.

I have a quants exam next week. I might have the change to work as a legal exec.. My lecturer sees potential in me apparently.

Going on a cruise party for valentines day hopefully with uni mates. But I wont be eating because of fasting *cries* and its my mums bday.. I am not too sure what i am getting her yet plus, ever valentines day not matter how wierd it must look to others I always buy her a card and flowers lol. Then piss off. lol

um in January I went to go and see my friends band Symbo (unusual name for a band everyone says, but don't take that away from their sound) I got in free (yeah dude) and Jasmine and Kaz had to pay. Andy, my mate is having another gig soon.. I wanna go but I have an exam the next day *cries* I really wanna go. *sobs* check em out www.myspace.com/symbomusic another band was playing before them called the cutaway or soemthing like that.... but I swear the front man sounded like dave from inme... it was some scary shizzle.

Listening to the blackout again (ooooh the emoness)

On a strange High today, which means I should meet up with my friends.

Probably read my bible on the train... Yeah don't look at me like that.

Eating some stir fry my mum made... Thank you god, for my chef of a mother. lol

Anyway guys... have fun whatever you are doing this week and next ... cus I know I will...

Loveya

x x x x x

I'm getting ready for my pressed purple suit.

2007-01-26T17:27:00.000-08:00

I don't know how to start this without sounding weird. But I am scared. A sudden fear has come over me tonight. Something that is telling me that what was given to me is a message is close.
I have a knowledge that I won't be here for much longer. That I may cease to exist. Today I feel weak.. worn down, not full of life anymore. Its like my body has started to give up on me. I have been getting terrible headaches for ages
and light now is hurting my eyes. Yes this all sounds very weird... very strange, very imaginary. But its true.
I guess I am writing this entry because I feel I wanted something to be said, just encase if anything does happen to me. god, the more I write this, the more strange it sounds.
*head in hands* just saying thank you to anyone who has graced my life, in one way or another.. I wanna thank you. whether you were a good impact or a bad one, I still love ya... Yes Martha this does include you. Because along the way, each of you taught me, made me stronger with everything I had to face.
Your courage or you negativity, pushed me to boundaries that made me step up my game as a person.
I've enjoyed everything, this world. And no this is not a suicide note lol.
I a way I always knew that someone was always controlling my destiny. That it was never in my own hands, that everything I faced. All the heartbreak, the tears, the rejection, the abuse was for a reason. A greater reason that I can ever imagine on even being graced with.
I have a really big decision I have to make, and for some reason I am so scared to make it, with all the odds stacked against me, I feel like giving up.
There is a big hourglass sitting next to my head, ticking down my time, I know I am ill and there is nothing I can do about it, than to become a Christian. My ignorance, my inability to follow ground rules which my mother has set me, refuse such a commitment.
I sit here with one single question... just bouncing around in my head "why me??"
"what do I have to play a significant part in all of this"
I'm scared... to you this may seem like total crap, to me .... to everyone who is involved. Life just took another scary turn.
ttyl x x

woah season 4 is the shizzle.

2007-01-17T07:37:00.000-08:00

Okay it is 06:42 in the morning and I just finished season 4 of alias.
Can i just say something, all this time I have been missing out.
It was jaw dropping... I swear my love for alias has been renewed like magic.
The Finale fight between Sydney and Nadia was hyped up a bit too much, but still, sydeny so would have died if sloane
hadn't saved her ass. Also Michael vartan (vaughn) hotttttt. In the last two episodes ecspecially must get that scene in the bar.
I would want treat him rough too if that's what happens *smiles*

I love this boxset must watch it again. *goes off to start at episode one* actually scrap that this must be borrowed to Sabriye.
Season 2 and season 4 are definately my fav seasons. They shouldn't have ended this show.. can't wait until season 5 comes out yey.

Yes, this may seem completely sad to some, but... *shrugs*

I bought season 2 as well so I'm off.

God if one more person calls me to tell me to call my dad... I will scream. Damn the man is evil, not sweet, funny and innocent.
Hell is that man, when they say the devil is walking this earth he is him.

Yes I know I have been pissed off within the last few days and surprisingly watching back to back episodes of Alias has calmed me down
ecspecially watching michael vartan for that long *drools* make me a very happy girl *laughs* twtylxxxx

Oh my favourite Sydney and vaughn scene, I also like what happens after but I couldn't find it. lol This scene is so sexy... vaughn and sydney in a club talking on comms about being "rough" but who is on the other side of the line. This scene is just class.

The old Alliances are dead. Cordie, you are on your own. Roger that.

2007-01-15T17:28:00.000-08:00

Simplest post I am ever gonna have to make.

- The is a big possibility I might die in a few years... All my finest enimies are welcome to dances on my grave when that happens. Trust me I wont feel a thing I will be burning.

- I swear if Anthony Nteh comes anywhere near me I will behead him. I read his conversation to Alex... Lets just say I am just a toy to everyone.

- IF TOKS DOESN'T STOP STALKING ME I WILL CUT OFF HIS BALLS AND SHOVE EM UP HIS ASS. AND IF HE AINT DEAD BY THEN I WILL CHOP OF HIS DICK AND STICK IT DOWN HIS THROAT HOPEFULLY ITS BIG ENOUGH TO MAKE HIM CHOKE. DUMBASS.

- ALEX IF YOU ARE READING THIS.... stop and I do mean STOP PHONING ME. MY GOD, GET A NEW TOY TO PLAY WITH. THAT'S WHAT MOST GUYS DO. I LET YOU GO FREE, YOU'RE A BIRD YOU ARE SUPPOSED TO FLY AWAY, NOT CONTINUE TO PECK AT MY SLEEVE.

PLEASE SOMEONE DROP A MACHINE GUN IN MY HAND AND DO IT NOW.

Only one plus though. I bought Alias season 4 on dvd yey... oh and David STAY THE HELL AWAY FROM MY DAMN DOOR.

I AM NOT APOLOGISING TO ANYONE FOR THESE MESSAGES SO DON'T START ASKING FOR APOLOGIES BECAUSE THEY WILL NOT BE RECIEVED. BUT IF YOU WANT ONE SO BAD I WILL SEE IF THE CORINNE HUNT I DON'T CARE STORE HAS ANY IN STOCK FOR YOU.

Excuse me before I decide to strangle anyone I will be watching my Alias dvd. CATCHING UP WHAT MY DAMN STUPID LITTLE LIFE THAT AINT EVEN WORTH LIVING (eventhough I want to continue living it) MADE ME MISS.

Drinking myself to shreds, breaking hearts that I just can't mend.Stop all these voice inside my head. Coke,Coffee,Alcohol, love and loss.all I got.

2007-01-04T14:51:00.000-08:00

9 Things you have done today?
- Lost my mind
- Went to Alex's thinking spot
- Drank alcohol alone in my room and got successfully pissed
- Repeated my whole life in my head
- Spoke to Alex
- Cried
- Put up my DOA poster that Komal got me for christmas
- Wrote a poem and ripped it up.
- Listened to music so loud that neighbours from 3 doors away told me to low down my music.

8 Issues you have in your life right now
- The fact this quiz is asking me to list my issues is pissing me off.
- I don't have a problem, but since I have come back from my holiday I have been drinking bottles of rum straight and alone in my room.
- People who tell jokes which are not fucking funny
- People who say they fucking love me over and over on the phone.
- This damn world is just fucking corrupted, you could have the devil dancing around on earth and no one would give a rats ass
- Bus fare and travelcards going up.I mean come on Ken, if you put up the prices anymore, I might as well walk to uni. Fucking hell
- My weight actually,I haven't really noticed how much weight I am putting on. Maybe I should try charlottes favorite diet... is called how to lose weight with bulima *laughs* nah I wouldn't try that. I kinda like my tits (like many men do) and my ass *pats it* and I am big but My height doesn't let the worst of it show.
- Parents and men who trying to get my mother and me not allowed to just be free. I always have something holding me down. Someone blackmailing me.

7 Bad things you have done?
- Took ecstacy when I was fourteen.bad crowd.
- Hurting people emotionally. I mean I study their weak points and when I need to I exploit them. Yeah I'm not so fucking innocent after all.
- Travelled across the world without my mothers knowledge.
- Set a part of burgess park alight and it was in a newletter and on the news
- Jumped a police officer
- 'Cheated' twice on a boyfriend
- Went of my way to total destroy someone

6 Happy Memories ( to tell you the truth there aren't that many)
- The Park, I was part of a group, everyone knew my name, got my humour and loved me for who I was.
- Drunken Times with Kaz,Jasmine, charlotte (eventhough truly she is a little fucking whore),Mark,scott(weed head),Anthony ( backstabbing liar),Dwaine (paedophile),Scanner (crackhead number 1),danny (crackhead number 2),Leanne (*COUGH* Incest *cough*,alisson,asher(ass),chantelle (Slut) and martha(just got fucking issues). Once again because everyone knew me, I was comfortablein my surroundings.I could drink, scream and they would understand it was just part of my strangeness and accepted it.
- When I fell in love the first time. It truly was strange and beautiful lol.
- When I passed My first guitar exam. Chris was getting updated by my mum how I was doing, then I went to party with David.
- When David and I went to our first live wrestling show, That is a fucking buzz. I swear to god its like a damn mosh pit but with seats lol.
- Random Birthday, holidays, brother and sisterly love moments. When I was actually showed love from my parents.

5 Things that turn you on (wtf????)
- Grind with me by Pretty Ricky
- Anything to do with my neck and behind my knee *laughs* I'm ticklish, but if you do it right I will be putty in your hands.
- Alcohol and my period lol I know that sounds sick but its true when I am drunk or on my period I get horny.
- Easiest one ... porn.
- Danger

4 Things you love (nothing this world sucks)
- My friends. The energy they give me is unbelivable, I'm like a vampire sometimes. Sucking them dry and that makes it able for me to entertain them for many hours on end
- Alex, I know its wrong for me too. But I do. I think I always will, he is the one guy who has stuck with me through my shit and when he was so faithful to me I let him go. He connected with me on a different level to any guy I have dated. To Him I am perfect, eventhough I am a train wreck.
- My mind and the way it works. It gives me the knowledge to argue anything when the time comes to it.. Yes I may be nervous and stammery at first but in the end it will be your ass walking away in shame. Debating worldly issues, Religion, theroy's, general ideas and so forth.
- Uni. Its the greatest place ever. Everyone is just so nice and kind and lectures and our sleeping in turn system works pefectly lol. Plus.... because I can't write five, I love my mum.

3 Things you want to do in the future
- A porn star lol
- My dream job... Ya'll know what that is, which kinda doesn't help the first one lol
- To least have a band on the side and get a rock mag *smiles* and in astoria. Then world domination hahahaha.

2 Things you regret
- Jack shit
- Jack shit... Live is there to be lived not to be regretted. Yeah we make many mistakes along the way. but god damn it only makes us stronger. I know I have improved from my mistakes. Yeah I can be a morbid fuck at times, but I could be botherd with what people think or say and its my life not yours. Mind your own business lol.

1 Thing you miss
- Too many things to be just one.

Greetings and Prezzerz

2006-12-25T06:56:00.000-08:00

Get your own glitter and more at BlingyBlob.com

Creamy (Corrie) asked me to post this she can't get access where she is. Alex.

barney the gansta

2006-12-09T05:27:00.000-08:00

sorry I just had to post this because I thought it was so fucking funny. I've been bending up for hours ecspecially when it first starts

Barney is Gangsta!

Add to My Profile | More Videos

Black Diamond.

2006-11-30T11:07:00.000-08:00

I' ve always wished to have a normal life
but never have
I wished to have parents who could take care of me
be there for me
understand me
But I never did.
I wish I could live alone
but I am bound to my mother
I never can.

This is kinda strange to write but I am worried. Stuff is happening that is out of my control.
I told my brother something I shouldn't and before I know it my dad will know and that will cause more problems for my mum. Apparently, by the words of god I will suffer if I do not come to church soon according to the Amos chapter 5.
It talks about mourning, like death. I dunno, I am just worried. I know I don't really believe all of this is happening, and ecspecially to me but it is. So I can't help worrying. Its just something in me, that i know something bigger is to come. I feel a war brewing on the Kaz and dwaine front and another war between my mum and my dad and guess what, now that my brotehr knows a piece of sensitive information I am not surprised that he will deliver it into the hands of my dad.

Oh god I am confused ... serious, no joke now. I am actually considering church.but, why me? Can't I just get a rest without drama. But no I'm sorry this is corinne natalie hunt of course I don't deserve a break. I wanna cry, I want to run away. I just want to hide is that so much to ask. Everything seems to be going wrong.
Minus uni. Uni is the one thing I feel happy about, I mean my friends there are kick ass cool. Specially Fiona, Ozzie,Ryan, Aj, Toks, Adealson, Tabo, sandra, Treasure, Simmran and boal. But I am so afriad about failure this year, more than any year of college or even more than my gcse's... my gcse's I was kaking myself. But the experience has been so fun.

See I have even started talking like these are my last days, maybe they are.. I dunno. I am just a confused bundle of mess, I will never understand why my dad just cannot let this go. Get a new woman for fuck sake, then go and beat her the fuck around. Slowly but surely you will forget my mum and move on to greener beating up wife like pastures.

Me and Alex are kinda starting to get back on track, I dunno how that is gonna go, but with all my luck, I am not surprised if something bad happens to the two of us. Already feeling the strain of everyone acusing me of something or another. To my mother I am a devil child, to Alex I am a liar, cheater and apparently now a whore,to my dad I have always been a whore (what is with people calling virgins whore, fucking hell get the facts straight) to Kaz I am probably being a bitch (with the whole I don't tell her I am angry with her I wait for a while, let the steam build up and blow. Plus, the me not trusting her with my stuff thing, I am not backing down with that one, I have seen to much of my shit get destroyed because of my TRUST),My brother of all people calling me a shit stirrer, if there was anyone who could stir shit successfully it would have to be him. I just feel like the world is on top of my shoulders and I really cannot take the strain any more. I am going snap just very everyone's info.

I feel like I am going crazy, that these past few months has just not been happening, because if they have this shit sucks.

I am still engaged (yey) me and my boyfriend are thinking of spending some quality time in a hotel somewhere up west (hey don't look at me like that I did ask for something cheaper, but he wants it to be special) right now any cherry popping is just out of the question. Even though it is the cure of stress related problems, just not now, not this month and definitely not this year.

People also lying about me, saying I am having secret relationships as well has fucked me up.

God I am being too open again.

No wonder some people call me emo, I get all worked up and stressed out and then I write one of these and its like... what the hell? Is she just so emo or what? I mean except for stupid white chicks, who would willing call themselves an emo... do you realise that you are cussing yourself. I over heard boys talking the other day to a bunch of american metalhead girls saying that they are emo and these girls started laughing, because it is just shameful.
I mean their music is good, yey for the used, hawthorne heights, My Chemical romance and sometimes bullet for my valentine.

I feel like a am trapped, like I have no way to turn, except the way that my mum wants me to turn, because she is blackmailing me practically to become a complete and utter devoted christian.

I have too many assignments to do, so much that they are running out of places to come out from and now are pushing their way through my ass. Plus it is like 02:07 in the morning and my first lecture is at fucking 8:00.. can someone, anyone... tie a noose around this neck and save me from this shit please...
*innocent voice* or at least take me on holiday. *laughs*
A war is about to take place between Kaz and dwaine, 'cept for I have a friend on the opposite side, which i actually think is not talking to me now for this reason. I dunno maybe I am just imagining it , but he has been acting super weird like avoiding me recently. Sent txt's no reply, talked to him online, no reply, left a message on myspace, still no fucking reply... so I give up. The last time I even bumped into me he wasn't even as pally as he used to be. He's totally changed with me, which is kinda scary. I actually feel like a stalker, which adds to his long collection, but I just wanna know if he is talking to me or not. Okay yes I know what you are thinking all sources point to a hell he definitely not talking to you, but I don't know why all of a sudden he would just do that... I would at least have thought that i would have had to do something wrong to cause that.

*SCREAMS* URRRRGGGH. CAN IT JUST ALL FINISH ALREADY.. ALL OF IT. PLEASE. THAT WOULD BE NICE GOD. THANX

SANTA THAT IS WHAT I WANT FOR CHRISTMAS:

for my mum to shut up, her rants at me about christianity is just annoying me

for my father to get a life and stop trying to screw up mine

for my brother to take his head out of his ass and see the godamn light, because he may be in middlesex prison, but even from afar he is pissing me off.

for Kaz and dwaine to stop fighting already. This is getting old, tierd and frankily a bit stale.

for god to stop having me be "special" dont ask.

for all my friends I miss ... scottie (my husband who I haven't seen in ages) Mark (Marky mark the pussy shark) to just come back and be around more often. Them two always knew how to put a smile on my face.

for people to stop annoying me so easily, and can uni stop being so stressful. I mean for fuck sake I like challenges but this is a fucking 90 degree's mountain I am climbing.

God if this week I don't go on a drinking spree, it must be a fucking miracle. That's the only time I drink now. When I haveproblems eating away at me.

Anyways guys see ya later. need mahusive hugs from Alex and David. Since I haven't seen them two in a while. EXCEPT FOR THE MONDAY I CHOOSE TO FORGET. plus, they aint talking anymore. I knew it wouldn't last *sighs*

Need hotel fun *winks at alex* see ya lot later x

Update in bulletpoints. aint got time to write full lengths of crap.

2006-11-28T04:33:00.000-08:00

- Still engaged although there have been some problems... some problems is an understatement.

+ I did actually manage to get my coursework in due to a little protest outside of my lecturers office. *laughs* I love my uni friends.

- I am buried and when I mean buried I mean, can't breathe, keeps me awake at night tossing and turning, having dreams of books chasing me buried. Under assignments, plus I have a time constrained assignment sometimes this week. DAMN BUSINESS. PPD and quantative Methods portfolios to give in. *cries*

- I keep on getting sick for no reason at all.

+ Uni sponsered pub crawls are the most funniest fucking thing you could ever attend

-+ I have a stalker, although he is quite a cool friend, he is very very much after me. Have I suddenly become some goddess that everyone is suddenly having feelings for me. I feel like Kaz, she has half of the male population attracted to her.

+ uni friends are planning another pub crawl *w00ts* spending more uni money wahhhey

- I kinda went mad on my student loan and I only have a hundred left from 1,600.

- I gotta move house again, fucking father won't leave us the fuck alone.

- I need to clothes.

- My mp3 player two weeks ago mysteriously stopped working. Fucking piece of sh-- *bangs the fuck out of it* umm that actually sounds a bit wrong.

+ I got drunk this week, I have done that in ages. eventhough it is still boring to me. but when I am drunk I can't help but be funnier than usual.

- My watch broke, my gorge watch, well technically Kaz broke it.

+ can't wait until I see dee. lol

I failed my assignment because of this fucked up shit

2006-11-13T07:44:00.000-08:00

I HATE STUPID UNFACILITATED LIBRARIES

I HATE WOMEN WHO DON'T KNOW FUCK ABOUT COMPUTERS

I HATE FLOPPY DISKS

I HATE THAT SHOP MAPLIN

I HATE MY LUCK

I HATE MYSELF NOW, JUST WHEN I SPENT SO MUCH TIME LOVING MYSELF.

I HATE NEW STAFF IN LIBRARIES

I AM STARTING TO HATE AMANDA STAPLES

WORKING IN ORGANISATIONS SUCKS ASS

I HATE GREENWICH NOT WORKING SYSTEM.

I HATE ASSIGNMENTS

GOD DAMN IT TODAY I EVEN HATE YOUR MUM I DON'T KNOW WHY BUT I JUST DO OKAY........

UNI WAS GREAT UNTIL TODAY.

I WANNA DIE TODAY.

GIVE ME A FUCKING KNIFE AND I SWEAR TO GOD I WOULD PLUNGE IT THROUGH MY HEART.

EVERYTHING I'VE WORKED FOR GONE.

MY LUCK, MY GOD DMAN LUCK

Bollocks chants Inme comeback you were fucking great.

2006-10-26T08:54:00.000-07:00

Okay, day after InME and I am wrecked. I mean nearly every inch of my body aches completely. I can't even move my neck properly because I was headbanging
sooooo hard, my arms hurt because they were in the air most of the time.The whole day was sooo great I would post up pictures and videos I took, most of them are either blurry because I had a live moshpit around me and the video clips sound like Bdjfojhgajdgal;dgapdofjg;dofjgldfigklg. Basically like shit. But least I still have the memories. Kaz who like usual just had to get drunk before we I met up with her. She kinda sobered up when we got into the que to go in. Where we met Alan who has the cutest baby mohican ever its so cute. When we actually got in we saw the shirts. I went past the brigade shirts and I just had to get one. Not to mention a signed poster, which is slightly wrecked because I squished it into my back pocket. So Alan, who grabbed a bench because he wasn't going into the mosh pit that was dead, I mean death for a day were playing. These people were going on like they weren't giving them enough energy,they were claping ever so often but that was it.
They were great I wanted to get a shirt of theirs, a brigade shirt and punisher jumper, but you will know why I couldn't after.

Anyway, me pranching around, getting water for Alan, myself and Kaz and people looking at me kinda wierd. I mean I am use to it. Lol. I love it when I go with Alex, these girls are giving me dirty looks.I love it.

So anyway, Death for a Day, finished their set and may I say it was good but I was making fucking sure, I was near the front for Brigade, YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND I HAVE A NEWLY FOUND FASCINATION FOR THEM.

I went into the crowd and me and Kaz pushed our way near to the front, which was good. Will came on looking as fucking sexy as ever *waves hands infront of face* and Naoto came out with a brigade poster cellotaped together around his head lol. I swear me and this other guy was the only ones who knew who they were. We were singing everything,everyword. lol.I swear everyone around me was looking at me for some indication of when to start jumping and stuff, because when I stopped jumping the people around me went dead, I can now actually say I single handedly livend up a pit lol. Some two guys were saying "lets stop the brigade shit and bring on Inme" lol and then will came out with "do you really think inme are gonna come out now... it is like quater to 9 so everyone do you wanna hear these to guys talk or do you wanna hear us play". Crowd started screaming their heads off. everytime it went a little quiet I had to say "will you are so fucking hottt" lol! Someone also blew up a condom and everyone was using it as a ballon chucking it around the place. I think their last song was Null and void, I started screaming (one of my favourite songs) the drum bit I was proper doing the fisting in the air, cause I knew. I was so proud to actually know their songs lol. (sad bitch)

So after that Brigade finished their set with Will posing all over the place for pictures lol. I went to go in and find Alan, so he could find us for inme, I know their was a chance of me not getting back to Kaz
but I risked it, cus Kaz was pretty much near the front.Lets just say this when inme came out I was with Alan and Kaz was lost in the people, specially rude people. Oh by this point I had already knocked a skinny white girl out. Well I met another black girl, who was already drunk and basically she pushed me into the crowd of people to try and get back to Kaz and apparently I elbowed this girl in the temple. lol. I think its because this little emo bitch, has never been to a gig before and doesn't know the principle of getting water, plus she looked liek she hadn't eaten in a while lol. So her friends start on me instead of the black girl pushing me. I was like look, she pushed me, she knocked me into her, so basically chill take your friend to get water. She was like but we are going to miss inme, well fine have you friend collapse more and die from being trampled on and I went back to Alan.

So me and Alan, was screaming like mad at INME well I was.When they first came on teh music from the marvel comic (should I say anime) The punisher came on and then they kinda mixed into underdose that was so crazy. I didn't know that Dave has alopecia, that's why all of his pictures he is bald suddenly. He did say though " come on make some noise so we can get this shit out of my brain"
they played a few songs underdose, the place went crazy and faster the chase, so you know. Then all of a sudden dave said "well people that the end unless if I can hear you shout bollocks all the way from the changing room" and he walked off stage. lol the funniest thing is ther crowd errupted in bollocks chants and there was no appearance.
Until people started givng up where I made a joke to Kaz saying its next morning INME have gone and we are all here still chanting bollocks. So they came out and wowed us with another bunch of great hits thrown at us plus, when white butterfly was sung,lighters started appearing everywhere.
During the performance of twilight, Dave swicthed the tune from twilight to Acdc's back in black it was sooooooo fucking great.

To end it all with chamber, the whole place erupted in people singing. People were crowd surfing to chamber, have you heard how slow that song is. There also was this woman infront of us who was salsa dancing to so you know. I was like what the hell. Kaz was like did she think she came to a salsa club lol.

It was perfect, Alan who was harrasing me all night (lexi calm down it was nothing)
Um... he was just tryng to touch me ass alot and biting me for some reason. Me as well as Kaz.

So the gig was done, I sweating like I had just jumped in a bath. Plus me Kaz and Alan did kinda have a water fight. Alan had water going down his leather trousers *laughs* Went to the cloakroom and Kaz kept on bugging me about buying her a shirt so I had to sacrifice buying my punisher jumper *cries*
Got one inme shirt that makes 'em look like south park lol a girlie inme top and a brigade shirt.but while we were there Will from brigade was like two inches from me (OKAY NOT TWO INCHES) but he was close enough. Wanted to ask him for a pic, I was too shy and apparently Dave was around the corner.
So anyone who didn't go I can tell you something, you guys fucking missed out. Best gig of my life. lol.

Gig: wicked
Bands: GREEEEEAAAATTTT
Kaz and I: Allll rocked outttt.

x x x x x

- Feed my immune system to the sharks -

2006-10-23T09:25:00.000-07:00

Okay hey guys... just writing in my blog because once again I am t home and I am sick. I hate being sick, but the thing that is making it worse is that, I have already paid to go and see inme and I feel I might be way to sick to go. I got a pounding headache, my throat feels all scratchy and the back of my eyes are hurting from any sunlight, which is also bad because as I am typing I am looking at a bright screen.

The initial plan of the inme gig was to go to the gig, where I get to first of all swoon at how hot all the members from brigade are lol, then hopefully enjoy the gig, leave, get some food and then drinking fest. I'm not up for the drinking thing these days. I mean it gets boring, yes you get the same fucked feeling over and over and over again, bit bored of it to be honest. But, the people around seem not to be, because all they do, do is drink. I have uni and stuff and I guess sometimes they think I am being uptight and superior (which I am not) I just find drinking till I wanna puke really dull. The thing I also hate th emost is when kids start doing it, like its some whole new fucking discovery lol, they start like "corinne please tell me you drink" to which I say "yes, I started drinking while you were still playing with your fucking barbies, and I'm bored"

Awww my gland feel like shit, I feel like shit. Kaz is saying that I must come on wednesday and that I must drink. Sometimes I swear she doesn't hear me when I talk. I AM SICK, THE LAST THING ON MY BRAIN IS ALCOHOL. I have a PPD assignment to complete, I mean I've started it, but I haven't organized it on pages into a presentation nothing. I feel ill to type talk or anything.

One good thing though I got my watch from Hong Kong on ebay, which I won *does a . dance* oh yeaaaaahhhhhhh, plus alex sent me my engagement ring in the post. Kaz said ph that must be some cheap ring, but I don't care I know it comes from his heart so to hell with what everyone thinks lol.

I wanna be well and not sick, sick is bad. Look I have even started with the crazy talk, flying elephants, ghetto pigs, guy starting at the edge of my bed holding up cheese.

Oh yeah guys I'm starting to try anbd make templates again, I've been neglecting getting money off people for a while lol! but Now yeah *kkkkeeerrrrrrchhhhiiinnnnngggg* its money time. Alex Hopefully should be coming down on saturday he has been coming down alot more recently. I think he is home sick. *gives Lex a hug*

Anyway the light from the lappie is killing me gonna go and try and rest now. Got to make myself well I just gotta.I only have by the end of tomorrow to do so. Anyway guys cya.... and always remember the guy with the cheese at the end of your bed, he will come while you are ill and not of full health. HE WILLLLLLL.

Ha apparently what my birthday says about me. I must admit most of it is true, just some part really aren't.

2006-10-19T18:01:00.000-07:00

What does your birth month reveal about you?
July Fun to be with. Secretive. Difficult to fathom and to be understood.Quiet unless excited or tensed. Takes pride in oneself. Has reputation. Easily consoled. Honest. Concerned about people's feelings. Tactful. Friendly. Approachable. Emotional temperamental and unpredictable. Moody and easily hurt. Witty and sparkly. Not revengeful. Forgiving but never forgets.Dislikes nonsensical and unnecessary things. Guides others physically and mentally. Sensitive and forms impressions carefully. Caring and loving. Treats others equally. Strong sense of sympathy. Wary and sharp. Judges people through observations. Hardworking. No difficulties in studyin
Take The Quiz Now!	Quizzes by myYearbook.com

w00ts grant spending time. uses the hurricane helms old phrase Stand back there is a hurricane coming through. (I think that's it anyway)

2006-10-02T08:36:00.000-07:00

Hey Guys, My week has been good. I have just moved house very tiering, packing carring, sorting and then masking everything look perfect again. I have just finished My Law Lecture and I am bloody knackered aint got no more time for a social life (not that I had much of one anyway) and I just found out I have some fucked up PPD assignment. *screams*. It's a new thing that all uni's over the country have bought in, that every student has to pass PPD or you can't continue your degree. So anyone who have finished your first year without this easy but bullshitty lesson *fingers up to you* . You have to do three things you have never done before,that will make you gain some experiance.It has to be three thigns that you have never done before. I am going to lie on one though (WHAT THEY CAN'T PROVE IT) that I have never been to a gig before. *laughs* I went to all-american rejects last friday *pisses self laughing* raise money for charity (probably breast cancer, I always come up with good ideas for that and play a gig I have always wanted to do that so yeah watch out Pre-eminent will be performing near you.)

I got my student Loan and my baby just went back to scotland today *cries* I miss him so bad when he goes away. He was actually showing me his uni books, they have my name scribbled everywhere and I MEAN everywhere. He can't help doodling my name apparently. Everyone keeps as him who the fuck is corinne, plus he gets angry when people ponounce my name wrong. *laughs* which many do.

I got my ride on the back of motorbike yesterday. Looked so cool riding on the back of Shauns motorbike. We were on our way to meet Alex. So hot and so fucking fun. At one point I screamed out loud.Actually we both did. I can't believe Lei and Shaun broke up that was so sad to hear.

Went to All-American Rejects gig. Let me tell you something they were on fire, I mean I had such a good time and the crowd was lively they were lively. It was all over too quickly. Little did I know that not only were we there, there whole bunch of people I hung around in college were there too. It was sooooooo fun, my surprise birthday party. Yeah I know what you are thinking, corinne your birthday was in July, yes I know, but he made sure all our friends had a ticket and we all got successfully drunk afterwards. I dragged alex home where he was so drunk he started swearing infront of my christian mother lol. But somehow she still likes him.

Well I am gonna go off and buy my laptop and other tidbits and books that fantastical things have 7 to buy arrrgggghhhhhh damn money consumer lol!

Cordie's bitches F.C/ Don't say write anything it never ends well laughs

2006-09-27T11:52:00.000-07:00

Heyyyyyy everyone, been mucho busy. Uni is taking up most of my time really, but I am enjoying every bit of it. Okay so everypne there is either ghetto, chav, bitchy asians or just can't speak the english language, but I have people who are really nice 'round me and that's all that matters.

Ryan, tuks, Fiona and ozzy are the names of the people that I spend most of my time with recently. So if I Mention their names you will now know who the hell they are.

I got All American Rajects this friday and plus I have the whole week with Lexi, because him and David came down. Which, always always always makes me little teenie cordie a very happy bunny. bunny Wuvving.

Cordie's bitches F.C will be starting soon I will sell top to people who wanna be in my football squad or better yet my appreciation squad lol! just kidding.

Anyway I have business and Law work to do, plus PPD forms to fill in. Another thing can the student loan people get their act together. I want my new laptop and godamit I want it nowwwwwwww!!!

see ya later people x x x x x x
was in myspace rock room and we started having these funny convos about emos
Shattered by broken dreams (Name whore): Sorry wrong room love
Shattered by broken dreams (Name whore): i think you want
*~Anarchy's Angel~*: *guns out people*
Shattered by broken dreams (Name whore): wrist cutters 101
Shattered by broken dreams (Name whore): it's over there
Shattered by broken dreams (Name whore): i think it's called emo
Count Varg: lol
keely: HAY IM NOT A WRIST CUTTER
*~Anarchy's Angel~*: lol
Count Varg: lol
keely: not funny

and the classic taking the piss out of the song by hawthorne heights ohio is for lover came this very funny title:

*~Anarchy's Angel~*: Vagina is for lovers
oOTh RoTTER joined the room
~ * Nixzy * ~: XD
Death To Jesus (Justin): PMSL
emma: lol angel
:`~Waffles~`:: lol
Count Varg: Hahaha
Rev. J.Jones: cock is for lovers
keely: doesn't have the smae affect as angel's did
:`~Waffles~`:: yeah sorry
:`~Waffles~`::HAHA

Dead ir Alive movie is gonna kick ass

2006-09-03T12:25:00.000-07:00

I saw the advert for the movie today and I just had to get th etrailer up her on my blog and the jokey trailer is below its only jokey because of what happens at the end. I love kasumi but she aint really hot in this film and hayabusa and Hayate look ugly I wanted them to be hotttt *cries* Kevin nash is playing Bass *laughs*

I'll remember You / Landing in London

2006-08-21T10:36:00.000-07:00

It's daybreak
And you are asleep
I can hear you breathe now
Your breath is deep

But before I go
I look at you one last time
I can hear a heartbeat
Is it yours or is it mine?

I look at your lips
I know how soft they can be
Did they know what they wanted
The times they kissed me?

And your hands
I held in mine
Now they're reposing on the pillow
Will they ever miss me sometime?

I'll remember you
You will be there in my heart
I'll remember you
That is all that I can do
And I'll remember

Your eyes
That always make me shiver
Now they are closed
They just sometimes twitch a little
And your body
I could hold for an hour
It sent me to heaven
With it's heat and power

I'll remember you
You will be there in my heart
I'll remember you
That' i all that I can do
And I'll remember

- sophie Zelmani - I'll remember you

Landing in London

I woke up today in London
As the plane was touching down
And all I could think about was Monday
Maybe I’d be back round
If this keeps me away much longer
I don’t know what I would do
You've got to understand it’s a hard life
That I’m going through

And when the night falls in around me
And I don’t think I’ll make it through
I'll use your light to guide the way
Cause all I think about is you

L.A. is getting kind of crazy
And New York is getting kind of cold
I keep my head from getting lazy
I just can’t wait to get back home

And all these days I spend away
I'll make up for this I swear
I need your love to hold me up
When it’s all to much to bear

And when the night falls in around me
And I don’t think I’ll make it through
I'll use your light to guide the way
Cause all I think about is you

woah
woah

And all these days I spend away
I'll make up for this I swear
I need your love to hold me up
When it’s all to much to bear

And when the night falls in around me
And I don’t think I’ll make it through
I'll use your light to guide the way

Cause all I think about is you

I lost a great guy today. I miss you lex *huggles*

I eat A-levels for fucking breakfast/Nothing can compare to when you roll the dice and swear you love is for me.

2006-08-17T05:23:00.000-07:00

I was crying over you
I am smiling, I think of you
Where your gardens have no walls
Breathe in the air if you care, you compare, don't say farewell

Nothing can compare
To when you roll the dice and swear your love's for me
Nothing can compare
To when you roll the dice and swear your love's for me
Oooo yeaha yeah yeaha yeah yeaha yeah...

I was crying over you
I am smiling, I think of you
Misty mornings and water falls
Breathe in the air if you care, you compare, don't say farewell

Nothing can compare
To when you roll the dice and swear your love's for me
Nothing can compare
To when you roll the dice and swear your love's for me
Nothing can compare
To when you roll the dice and swear your love's for me
Oooo yeaha yeah yeaha yeah yeaha yeah...

Virtuous sensibility
Escape velocity

Nothing can compare
To when you roll the dice and swear your love's for me
Nothing can compare
To when you roll the dice and swear your love's for me
Nothing can compare
To when you roll the dice and swear your love's for me
Breathe in the air if you care, you compare, don't say farewell

Nothing
- Dice - Finley Quaye

Lol! Hey people just got my A-level reseult back for english Lit and I swear my head spun again, excpet it was spinning while alex was hugging from behind for good luck... So I opened the Letter, there was my grades I checked the back and the started screaming by head off. Alex who still hadn't opened his was like "wwwwwhhhhat did you get???" me still screaming while erin was looking at me wierd but quite happy as I screamed " I got a fucking A OH...MY...GOD" LOL! Alex got an A as well I was so proud of him, although he thinks he only got it because of me which is not true. But Me getting an A in english, me who can barely form a sentence without making a mistake, got an A. So we all decided for a victory drink *smiles* it was great my day has been great I'm so happy, this is everything I wanted and I worked so hard for this. I know it's taken me a long time to get this far, and I am proud that I am finally done witht hat chapter of my life *dances*

______ x_______

Anyway, went to a rock club with Alex and friends from college and tomorrow probably we are going to have a beach party in celebration of our results, but anyway back to the club it was fun had Loads of Metalheads in there Lol! and loads of fucking Emo's that all looked like eachother, I swear they all shop the same place. Anyway we were jumping up and down with all of our friends and then a huge groan came over the crowd when Orson - No Tomorrow came on. I actually like that song, so everyone nearly left the floor and there was me and Alex still dancing to Orson and singing. It was well funny, just having all these people looking at us and smiling. Well they already all looking at me because, you know... I am darker than most of them in there. *laughs* But it was cute 'cus Alex was cupping my face and singing into it very loudly, which was at some point quite distrubing lol! I think it was the drink.

Let’s go to a rave and behave
like we’re tripping simply ’cause
we’re so in love

funny hat
shiny pants
all we need for some romance
go get dolled up and I’ll pick you up

there’s no line for you and me cuz tonight
we’re v.i.p.
I know somebody at the door
I see that twinkle in your eye
you shake your ass and I just die
let’s check our coats
and move out to the floor

when I’m dancing with you
tomorrow doesn’t matter
turn the music up
til the windows start to shatter
cuz you’re the only one who can get me on my feet
and I can’t even dance

look at me
silly me
I’m as happy as could be
I have a girl who thinks I rock
and tomorrow there’s no school
so let’s go drink some more red bull
and not get home til about
6 o clock

when I’m dancing with you
tomorrow doesn’t matter
turn the music up
til the windows start to shatter
cuz you’re the only one who can get me on my feet
and I can’t even dance

everybody here is staring
at the outfit that you’re wearing
love it when they check you out
cover’s only 20 bucks
and even if the dj sucks
it’s time to turn this mother out

when we’re together
when we’re together
there’s no tomorrow
there’s no tomorrow
there’s no one in the world
but you and me
just you and me
you and me

- No Tomorrow - Orson

Oh, I think I may have gig fever later in the year instead of in the summer I think september and October will be my buisiest months. Got All-American Rejects, InMe and the End of Days festival, which me and David are going to. InMe are headlining and I am starting to take a huge liking to Brigade (ecspecially their song queenie) check them out.

David should be coming down on sunday to say goodbye to Alex who leaves on monday *deep breath* Vic called me Yesterday asking me if Alex left yet, he better not plan any unsuspected vists anytime soon, or I will send him back to where he came from. Meant to hanging ouf with fran and Komal on sunday and then go and stay with Alex for the night so I can go I bid him goodbye. K and Fran hav got this wild idea that me and Jay (yes Jasmine) are going out! Umm..... no, Just no. I love you Jay, but definately not like that.

Taught Alex how to slow dance yesterday, although on the night when we went out to the rock club, after the club we closed , we went to some ghetto fied club and I learnt that the boy can WHINE, omg it was so bad he was turning me on (I know you didn't want to know that) but it was, my god *waves hands infront of face*. He made me hook up my mp3 player to his comp and was playing slow tracks from it. But I made sense field - Save yourself play over and over again, 'cus I like that song and Alex likes it too so he didn't mind. Although, I have been annoying Jay with IT ALL WEEKEND. He was learning for the Prom, but I didn't show. He didn't because he wasn't expecting me too. Oh I forgot to mention I won at the prom, I was prom queen. But because I wasn't there they gave it to some chick I really wanna slap. Lex won prince (but I already knew he would).

Instead of going to prom, went out with Kaz and she got me succesfully drunk (which Lex picked up when he called me) I promised him I would stay away from the male variety when I am drunk. There were tons of guys dancing with me and Kaz and getting damn tents in their trousers because of it(eeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeewwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwww). Wasn't nice when gusy were grabbing us and rubbing us up against them *shudders some more* I feel more sorry for Kaz but we wont got into that.But we got free food Yey. Looking good Pays I guess.

Anyway I'm heading out may write a entry on monday, we all know why. Anyway c u Later x x x x x x x x

Turn out the light
Just say goodnight to yourself
May I remind you
When you find you
Are all alone’s when you
You’ve got to be strong
That’s when they call you in the night
He’s got your picture in his mind
He’s got your number on a paper
At his disposal anytime

Is it really true
Could you save yourself
For someone who could love you for you
So many times we just give it away
To someone who
Someone who

You met in a bar
The back of a car
And for a moment
You felt important
But not in your heart
Cuz my self esteem
It’s been low
Go ahead and count,
It’s been lower than low
I know the feeling
Of it stealing life out from under me

Cuz I want to learn
Can you save yourself
For someone who
Could love you for you
So many times we just give it away
To someone who couldn’t even remember your name
Did you save yourself
For someone who loves you for you
And loves me for me
Or give it away
To someone who
Someone who
Can cherish your name

Cuz I want to learn
Did you save yourself
For someone who
Loves you for you
And loves me for me
Give it away
To someone who
Someone who
Cherish you

Cherish you

- Sense Field - Save Yourself

These Arms of mine.

2006-08-04T07:20:00.000-07:00

These arms of mine

( Otis Redding )

These arms of mine
They are lonely
Lonely and feeling blue
These arms of mine
They are yearning
Yearning from wanting you
And if you would let them hold you
Oh how grateful I will be

These arms of mine
They are burning
Burning from wanting you
These arms of mine
They are wanting
Wanting to hold you
And if you would let them hold you
Oh how greateful I will be

Come on, come on, baby
Just be my little woman
Just be my lover, oh
I need me somebody
Somebody to treat me right
I need your arms, loving arms
To hold me tight
And I need, I need your
I need your tender lips...

Hey Guys I'm online at Alex's house at the mo.I've been really busy this week and also been having some fun down oxord street (I'll explain later).

Anyway ... what have I been upto? Sorting out stuff for student loan, going to court (I am not even going to bother explaining that one), spending time with Lex, Kinda shitting myself that it is august already and results are just around the corner and other great and wonderul stuff.

Talking more on Alex and I spending more time with each other we decided to go down the westend and to hmv. But when we got to oxford street, I swear to god it looked like camden. All these Emo's, punks, goths and pixies were fucking everywhere. I'm not complaining, but I was a little wierded out when I actually saw they were opening up shops like camden that sell studded bracelets and band tops.
So then Alex decided he would dare me to do this and he would do it in return. Go up to a group of them and say we are doing a research about the most popular bands that people listen to, funny enough all of them co-operated, but the answers we got was so funny.

So we asked a group of girls who is your favourite u.k band.They could have said Lostprophets, brigade,the darkness (eventhough they suck) or even razorlight, but no... one girl came out with Mcfly and they were all like yeah we are going to see them soon. Alex started bursting into laughter so badly, I could see the tears in his eyes. Plus, these girls were dressed all in punk like attire. So then I asked them who is your favourite american act then, they stood their for a while looking a bit stumped and then came out with fall out boy, to which alex was still pissing himself laughing.Then asked 'em "so when did you start listening to them?" "since their first single dance, dance" At this point Me and Alex started Laughing our heads off and the girls thought it was because alex was already being a maniac laughing in the corner that's why I was laughing, but no. It was because that was not Falloutboy's first single or Album. We couldn't continue so I just said thankyou for your time and they walked off and we started creasing up Laughing so bad that our stomachs and cheeks hurt. So we just went around doing it for about an hour or so and then we went into hmv. But it was fun, haven't laughed like that in ages.

Bought fantastic four on dvd and ever since I have I keep on listening to Noots by sum 41, its starting to piss Alex off but he keeps on playing songs from Dirty dancing. No trust me it is strange to have Velvet revolver playing and then all of a sudden Otis Redding - these arms of mine comes on. Horrible mix but I love that song. Yeah a little makeout sesh happened to that song when his cute adorable sister walks into the room, not good.

I might start up the countdown clocks again, because I have some stuff to countdown too.

But Yeah I'm gone, because I have alot to do today so... Later days x x x

Yorkshire air gets me high

2006-07-27T14:08:00.000-07:00

Hey people I have got to be very quick because Vic is already moaning that I have been on the computer for half an hour and I am being very antisocial, even though they all know eachother, and share a common bond of pissing on other people's tents at download *laughs* Oh me and my mum eventually left for yorkshire late at night caught the train to manchester then took coach rest of the way, it was okay got little tired afterwards. It was okay when I reached there in the early morning because Vic and David were wait for me at my other aunts house.

Yesterday I got to see my sick aunt, I must admit I did cry they are trying to put her in for surgery but they don't think its going to help much. My mum thought it would be best if I went and hung out with boys and she would stay at the hospital until everyone was ready to go home. So I took the bus back got to vic's and guess who just arrived, sitting on vics couch all smug... Alex. Vic hasn't seen me and Alex together, so he was getting slightly jealous and he was talking to me about it afterwards, I felt bad but he told me not too but I can't help it. We went to towndid a bit of shopping and sat in mcdonalds for three hours talking randomly about shit.

stayed at Vics at tuesday, spent practically half of wednesday in the hosptial and then the rest at vics. Then my mum called me to tell me that we have to go tomoz because my dad is trying to contest the divorce, not good. Anyway... got to go and finish watching V for vendetta. Eventhough I have watched it before they keep on pausing it when I go to the toilet and I'm like watch the goddamn film. lol!

Didn't have much time to do shopping, but I might be coming back down here again next week.

Vic also tried to get me and Alex to break up while we were there for the sole fact that he could try and swoop in. Plus, because he said there is no point of carrying on a relationship that will have to end come the 21st of august (day alex leaves). I don't care, I'll face that day when it comes, but until then I'm happy, he's happy and that's how it is going to stay.

Anyway love ya loads xxxx

My birthday......Yeay I'm nineteen.

2006-07-24T12:42:00.000-07:00

Hey people *screams* Its my birthday, its my birthday. I am now nineteen *does a little dance* Um I was actually was meant to be traveling to Yorkshire today, but because of complications of living space and yada yada yada I will have to go next week. I don't mind David and Vic will be there and Alex might pass by there on his way back from Scotland. Before he left though he thought he would surprise me. At 8 in the morning, I heard a knock at the door. My mum who wasn't in for some odd reason, when were meant to be catch our coach at 11 was quite worrying. So he turned up with a big bag and he would only give me what I he had if I walked outside with him. That meant me going out in my pj's and a vest top. So we went the park (that was after much bugging by the way) lol! We get the park and he gives me a teeny weenie little card. Then he handed over the bag. Inside the bag I found. £20 whs gift vouchers, which had an instruction for using them for uni, A ticket to see the All American Rejects with him, a pair of fairy earrings, a teddy and fairy lights which I think he bought because he knows I am moving) He spent so much money on me, I was like hugging him and kind of jumping up and down because I am going to see The All American Rejects again, but in full this time. Awww such a sweetie, seeing him first thing in the morning and on my birthday really did cheer me up. He just kept on singing happy birthday to me until I told him shut the hell up. He loves pissing me off, because apparently there is a face I pull that makes him laugh. Walked me back to my house and I kissed him off because he was leaving for scotland today for a week, because of job interviews.He handed me 25 pounds and as soon as he handed it over I knew what it was for... No not a years worth of condoms...But the rest of the money to buy my mp3 player, because I was a bit short *huggles*. I get undivided attention when he gets back, not that I asked for it, but then again I aint going to complain about it either lol!
Then we found out our aunt couldn't put us up for the week, so then we couldn't go. My mum arranged a little thing between her church friends and we went nandos and cinema to watch the break up (which was actually alright) and then went to church. I got presents of a bag, Money, deposit on my electric guitar which I will show you a pic of eventually, Bed sheets (because I am moving), teddy, money, clothes, underwear ( yeah that one was a bit odd to me too) and a new jacket. More presents to come when I grace Yorkshire arrggggghhhh!

Today was actually fun, I loved every bit of it. Blessed although is very mean and very annoying, kept on picking on me and annoying me to the point where I would violently smash his head into the banister that was separating us while he was teasing me, then set his body alight... burn baby burn.

Oh plus, yesterday me and my friends are thinking of doing a kind of dress up as a anime character, but change something about them. I decided that I was going to be the black Chung li. The white Chung li used her hand and her feet. Mine uses crowbars and cricket bats. People have already being saying to me on msn, that my hair really does look like hers, but then again some people are saying I look like the black version of Sailor moon *LAUGHS*.When we finish making the page you will know because there will be a link in the left hand navigation.

Thinking of changing my template, it will hopefully have the same layout just a different feel. The fallen angel thing is getting a bit tired now.

Anyway I'm heading off see ya later x x x x x x x x x

Happy Bday Blog huggles You have served me well.

2006-07-22T11:37:00.000-07:00

Happy birthday to you, Happy birthday to you, Happy birthday to my blog, Happy birthday to you. *w00ts* you are two years old *claps* well what can I say its been an up and down rollercoaster ride, but I am finally happy and I think without my online friends reading my blog sending me emails and messages via my tagger and other stuff I wouldn't have been able to laugh over everything that has happened. Thank you guys.

Well it is now my bday in 2 days now arrrggghhh *screams* I am getting old. Although my bday is not going to be fun because I will be spending six hours of it on my way to yorkshire. I don't know i you guys if you remember, but last year I basically went over to yorkshire to watch one of my aunts die of breast cancer. This time it is another aunt, that's why I think so strongly about breast cancer and stuff because I have to watch the women around me die one by one to it. Then, I have to remind mysel that might be me in a few years.I don't want that to be the case, but it might be. Upside to all of this, david and possibly alex if he can srounge enough money will be meeting me in yorkshire to stay at Vic's.Sheep-a-doo has the house all to himself so this should be excellent.

I got my student loan assessed and I AM GOING TO GET PAIIIIIIIIID come september.

We were all counting how long we have been with our boyfriends yesterday, yes I know very sad... but I realised 9 months me and alex, my god time fly's. God it only feels like a month ago when he was running against me for president of college and was defacing all my posters. *laughs* he hangs his head in shame everytime I mention it. He also stole one and put it up in his room, I thought he was lying until I went to his room.We have had a rough patch of recent, because of something I did while I was drunk, but he forgave me because he knows I wouldn't have done it if I wasn't. Just think about it another 3 months and it will be a year.

My mum is still trying to force me going to church, watch soon she is going to stop from going out like she did last time. Omg this woman humours me honestly, there is never a dull day when my mother is involved she always gives me somethin to laugh about. The other day she heards right where I belong by three doors down and apparently it sounds satanic *laughs* you have actually go and download that song and report back if it sounds "satanic". Plus, three doors down don't swear, don't talk about cutting peoples heads off ,killing yourself or the random others that people sing (or rather scream about). Everyday I have to put back up my lostprophets poster because she doesn't like the eagle. My god if you don't like it don't snoop in my damn room argggggghhhhhh!

I am also very very honoured that its my blogs bday on the same day that dennis "iceman" bergkamp gave up his carrier playing for Arsenal. No one can deny that he has served us well through the years and never, ever lagged around and like other player from other teams that we know such as beckham, but worked hard for where he is....

I have my prom in august I though it was in july, its a day before we gete our results apparently. So I should be suited and booted, well not technically but you get the point.

This summer I must admit is quieter than last years, but I think that is because there is no azera hovering over me and wishing to contribute in every aspect of my life.

Anyway people I am off to go and buy my mp3 player *smiles its pretty its black and its made by phillips, 6gb. But I won't open it today I wait until my bday.

*waves* bye have a great weekend x x x x x x x x x

Street gigs means showbiz!!!

2006-07-19T11:00:00.000-07:00

Hellllllllo everyone. Okay during last week or so I got bored and went on the street gigs website, where you go to gigs for free across the u.k. So I thought why not I would enter. So I did. This week I got a text message saying you're on, on the 20th of July, to see a band named hot chip (I know...who you ask.) Now this gig is in bristol, a coach is taking me and any friend of my choosing there (to which I picked Kaz) except I listened to their stuff on myspace and it sounds pretty crappy, so I don't think I can be bothered to go. But I am always saying I never win anything and here I am winning something, chosen and I don't wanna go. Fucking wierd that. The gig is one day away and I still can't make up my damn mind. I wish it was for the futureheads one of the lostprophets one,(which btw I heard their version of cry me a river, yes by justin timberlake. May I just say they succesfully killed it) but I got this band named fucking hot chip. But it will be on t.v *ponders* so I am going back online and seeing if I can apply to be on the transmission show instead.*laughs*

Um its my bday in 6 days *woots* Stil don't know what I am doing for it. Alex might be away for my bday, which will suck , but I understand what he is going through and I am behind him 100%. The other day we watched the bodyguard, and then sport relief and we did something very generous of us ghetto people and donated 60 quid towards charity. I know.Just the pictures we making me very sad and plus we wanted to see those people run around stark naked. Plus, the other day Alex attempted to at first teach his brother some tricks on the skateboard, and then all of a sudden it turned into a lets teach corinne thing. I had so much fun we all are planning to do it again.

um the weather has been uncomfortable doesn't mean I haven't been walking through the streets of london with little skimpy clothing on because I have. O recent I have been wearing quite girly clothes, it scary.

Oh plus, may be getting a camoflage guitar for my bday I took a pic of this thing but I will have to upload it next entry this thing is beautiful. So I hint as much to my aunt as possible and after a while I think she will... you know... get the hint.

I think that's it. Um its nearly the blogs bday, in three days. awwwwwwwwww that means that this blog will be two years old arrrggggghhhhhhh! two years of me writing this crap.

Anyways I gonna go and think about my little gig dillema.. love ya loadsxxxxx

I'm just gonna keep singing my song.

2006-07-11T08:02:00.000-07:00

Hey guys...

Cordelia - "Why does bad things always happen to me?"
Xander - *cough*Karma*cough*

- Buffy ep - Inca Mummy girl.

*laughs* Karma is great, Karma is wicked, Karma is just a fucking wonderul thing. *laughs once more* Okay I am done. Sorry just a random thought there. Plus another thing if people's friends are actually gonna write stuff to me to try and offend me can they at least get their facts straight number 1 and number 2 *laughs* Do they actually think I care? things and shit happened get over it already, lord jesus.

Anyway, um just gonna be a small entry (thankyou god) because I really cannot be bothered to write about my shit that has happened lately. Ah well.

I experianced Italy winning the world cup first hand, it was great actually. I mean,inside I was rooting for France to win because come on Viera,Henry and Zidane. Great Team. Alex took me to his uncle's resturant, where it had been closed for the night and was turned into basically a mini moshpit of Italian supporters. Alex, who was litraly holding his two fingers up against the temple of my head (because he knows who I am supporting inside) and telling me to cheer italy. When they won, okay I was crushed because I really wanted france to win. But; it was a wicked atmosphere.People buying drinks for one another, I was getting kissed on the cheek by randoms,had the italian flag painted on my cheek, it was fun.
Alex for some reason has taken an interest in wanting to come yorkshire with me, I don't mind, actually I think it would be even better if he does come. Vic will be happy with that, since apparently at download Alex,vic and David were so drunk they started going 'round and pissing on other peoples tents and saying it was a present from the piss fairy. God the males in my life are crazy, but I love them *huggles*

Well it was Kaz's bday on friday, she was a bit moody at the beginning but he alcohol cleared that up completely. But during that night lets just say I had my own problems to deal with.

Trying to find a new house, after the incident of our father finding us, wasn't fun and still isn't but we have to move again. I don't mind really starting to like being this nomadic person, quite fun.

Argh plus I am going prom *screams* Don't wanna go, but Alex and I have been nominated if we both win, that would be cool. So yeah I am starting to see the good side of having a second prom.

Anyways I am going to go, have nothing better to do with my time, so off I am going to write another song.Might put it on DA haven't updated in a while. bye x x x

Standing on the rooftops everybody scream you heart out

2006-07-03T12:07:00.000-07:00

Hey everybody. Well I have had a good two weeks and now its july and we all know what happens in July. It my blogs bday plus my bday Yey! But Last Month on the 26th I went to HMV...why? you all ask. Well I met, spoke to, hugged and got album and a single cover signed by Lostprophets. I know, and me and Kaz took a pic with Ian *screams* who to mention had his arm round me *screams again* and then complimented Kaz on her dress, I think it was kind of a sly way of complimenting her on her tits. So of course I took pictures. Shame I didn't take pictures of the crowds it was like a mini mosh pit, with girls crying and all sorts... madness. Plus Kaz kept on screaming out random things like... I love you busted, mcfly, spice girls, Girls aloud. After we met them we got this poster that they were giving away free and it is now up on my wall underneath my signed album cover. >Kaz, Ian and I< >pic< >>signed cd<< >>Signed album...Plus Ian looking hot<<

Alex finally wants to started up a myspace account lol. And he wanted me to take a picture of myself in my supergirl top, because he has a superman top and we showed up at the same time wearing the shirts. It was funny. So here >>>Picture<<<

Its gonna be Kaz's birthday in about let say 5 days and we still trying to plan something for it. We haven't got anything in mind. But since it is on a friday we are going to take advantage of that.

Might be going with the boys, the boys consisting of Vic, David and stephen. Possibly Alex and shaun, but they are a both bit busy right now.

My minds going a little bit crazy, little bit confused too. But I am sorry if what I said offended you, hurt, made you feel betrayed, I do love you, I really do.

Okay so it turns out that all my friends are going prom, so I might as well go and campaign. Ha I aint campaigning, going prom but I aint campaigning.

Oh and by me doing this entry, it could only mean on thing, I got a new memory stick. Planning to get a mp3 player, but that is harder said than done.

Okay well I'm of and stuff. So I am gonna love ya guys and leave ya xxx

Plus: Jay, welcome back home.

"Here's my thinking place. So when I am not here you can use it"

2006-06-19T10:06:00.000-07:00

Okay so today alex decides to drag me out of my house at 7 in the morning to go and go to his thinking place. Okay here's me thinking it's close and stuff... He drags me to gatwick airport its a spot where you actually see planes coming over your head to touch down. Its quite cute but is also quite scary for the fact that someone could just lie there and take out their rocket launcher and blow the plane to smitherines *smiles*

But we just sat there, talked, ate and he kept on making very tempting jokes about the travel lodge. But I managed just by a thread to keep my knickers on lol! Plus, why is it nearly every guy I goes out with has bith of these damn artist in his collection Celine Dion *laughs* and Percy Sledge (He is the guy who made the When a man loves a woman if you don't know the song >>>Here<<<). We are just sitting there listening to his Ipod music on speakers and out of nowhere Celine Dion, A new day started blaring out of the speakers. I turned to him and was singing... it was then after I realised... um Mr I love slipnot, guns and roses and Metallica has Celine Dion on his Ipod. I thought it was cute then Percy Sledge, when a man loves a woman came on. Its my parents song, but he just started doing the most cutest thing and started singing it to me. That song always makes me feel sad and I told him why after, but it still made me feel all shy and stuff.He Tried to get me to dance with him, but it just weren't happening.

When a man loves a woman
He can do no wrong
He can never own some other girl
Yes when a man loves a woman
I know exactly how he feels
'Cause baby, baby, baby, you're my world

Aint been doing nothing much... arggh forgot to tell you lot someone norminated me for fucking prom queen, fuck that shite I am not going. Who ever did that I am going to kill them slowly but very surely. Aint got much going on though I go yorkshire very soon and alex goes to scotlan a week to check up and stuff. It makes it harder to think that he is going away. But we made a deal, we will keep on with the distance thing until the distance starts taking its tole. But I don't think it will so much.

anyways gunna go 'cus I am meant to be at Kaz's now... love ya guys loads xxx

MY FRENCH FOR YOUR ENGLISH

2006-06-12T09:21:00.000-07:00

You want updates Jay you got them....

First to start with, I kinda broke the memory stick you gave me. I don't know how iut happened. Had a full entry with all the stuff that happened but I have no floppy disk or drive to actually transfer it ... so yeah I am kinda stuck.

Alex and David went to download and they totally got along they had a blast apparently. I was so happy and stuff as soon as they got there they called me up singing " I love you baby" down the phone and they got drunk together they gelled really well. Yey! everyone was wishing that I was in callines place, because she was being a bitch, a complete and utter bitch.

I was worried when we were lining up for our exam and alex and shaun were no where to be seen. Me, Matty and erin were looking at the door every five seconds. As we were going in, there comes Alex on skateboard (Yes he has a tendancy of skating around the college on it) and shaun running and skating their asses off to the line. He just stood there proudly sporting his Download pass thingy and arm band... plus, looking really cute. He came out with a really cheesy movie line too which was "Hey baby miss me". We did the exam huing around with him and david,who is on his way back to manchester right now and then came here.

Um Kaz kicked martha out of her house... I wasn't there so I can't actually say blow for blow what happened. All I know is, Karli got martha's big heafty holdal and took it down to the lampost downstairs , came calmly all the way back up the stairs and said to her "Martha there is your bag....follow it" classic line. To which she was in shock. They have also made her to believe that there is something going on between me and anthony and it didn't help that he started kissing my neck and whining with me. To which she attempted and failed badly... wow. So Anthony has stopped coming upto the house because he has a desperate fear of bumping into her again, after she got him kicked out , for budging past him going to use his toilet and then leaving the toilet to come face to face with his mum , who thought something was going between them.

Chantelle is having this fascination with Jamine even though everybody I mean everybody has got the fact that you know he does not like her, except her. He keeps not picking up her calls, blanking her and so forth and still she keeps calling. Damn I'm sorry to bring colour into but what is it with desperate white girls lol!

Dwaine keeps on pronouncing undying love to Kaz. We one day just sat there laughing hard about it saying how much he cares. TWO WORDS DWAINE FUCK OFF.TWO OTHER WORDS DWAINE MOVE ON.

Its getting closer to tuesday and we really miss jay. We wish she was here and everything. So I can just tell her all this stuff to her face and what not but she aint.

Oh and trinidad and tobago were playing sweden, and omg they were brilliant, wicked I tell ya...

But anyway gotta go love you guys and all that xxxx

There is meaning to the world when you are giving love

2006-06-08T10:51:00.001-07:00

Hey everyone well I thought I would do an entry, because I am waiting for Alex to turn up so we can finally go and watch X3 together.
Although I have a strange feeling that we wont actually reach the cinema *smiles* plus we are going pizza hut with everyone in our english class even our three teachers which will be cool. Something that is strangely bugging me though. Alex and david are going to meet up at download and you know sleep in the same tent together, with also Stephen, Devz, Shaun, Lei, Calline. Then the others will share the other tent. I am getting scared for two reasons. David is actually making an effort to know people that I talk to, Plus he is not jumping down the throat of Alex, which is good. But it also puts me on edge because this is definately not him. As everyone knows David is never kind to any of the other males in my life. But he is going to share a tent with Alex. Baby if you are reading this I think David may be sexually attracted to you Lol(Joking) Everyone thinks he has a plan up his sleeve. I dunno what to think.So tommorrow I will get to go to victoria and watch them leave without me to go to download. OH JOY.

I also had to say goodbye to Jay for three weeks gonna be very hard, with the fact that everything is getting a bit hectic around here and I kinda need her harsh sarcastic humour around to kick me up the ass and keep me on my toes. Kaz, chan, Martha and I was there to send her off to the airport at 2 in the morning. We all felt terrible afterwards. So I meant to keep her updated VIA blog.

Um martha... well what can I say she is a brilliant individual. Well I can't say anymore yet but when I get tipped over the edge I started to explode you will know because that's when I start ranting. I've gonna start up the U.H.F.M site again filled with pictures, quotes and all. Humour for me and everyone basically.
Going yorkshire in a few weeks for week (There you go Vic you got your wish) and it is nearly my bday,well not yet since it is next month, but I can't help counting it down. Though it is gonna be kinda strange, this birthday is ... No brother. Yep, I still miss him. I just hope he is okay, he hasn't called me in months, plus its his birthday this month on the 27th.

Well I am fucking boiling today because it just hot outside and I am actually show my arms. I know wow.

Argh Lexi is here so I'm gonna take off. Seeeeeeee yaaaaaaa xx

Oh btw 7 months exactly today since me and Alex have been seeing eachother *smiles* *ghetto voice* Its alllll GUD.

There is meaning to the world when you are giving love

2006-06-08T10:51:00.000-07:00

Te queiro Puta (I want you bitch) so dance dance

2006-06-05T10:56:00.000-07:00

Hey guys and girls... I had a wicked time on thursday eventhough it was meant to be the night where I would have been in the cinema watching xmen 3. I went to the fall out boy gig with Alex. fuck it was so fun didn't want the night to end.I met Alex down at college got dressed in converse that I borrowed from my cousin,fishnet tights, lace black skirt,black and red v neck top and had my hair, jokingly emo
headband with bits of purple in it. (we agreed to do our hair different colours, Yeah I know sad)saw alex and I was like *jaw drop* Imagine this yeah, girls: black baggy jeans, black anarchy top, Naruto headband (eventhough I got him into the show, he bought it before me) and wristbands with slight red hair. He looked gorgeous.

we were singing all the way down the road, jumping up and down taking in mind this is still daylight and sunny for once may I add lol!singing different songs by different artists kryptonite by 3 doors down,sweet child o'mine by guns and roses,
basket case greenday,rock and roll queen by Qotsa (which sang to me again at the bustop very loudly),bittersweet symphony by oasis those are the only ones I can remember us singing but there was other random songs.got on the bus and headed towards brixton, listening to his ipod and also singing on the bus. I love his voice it has a growl.Plus play fighting in a cramped space.

"She said she's no good with words but I'm worse"

we get there after some guy tried to ask for my number on the bus and alex wasn't impressed and started having an argument with the guy. Alex was like "do I look invisible to you? can't you see I'm here." and the support act, which was the all american rejects and Hawthorne Heights two good bands were tearing up the stage, me and alex was already screaming like mad. Although alex was too busy trying to get water down my top and attaching his chain to mine so I couldn't move,without pulling him with me.

Everywhere went quiet, so we rushed into the mosh pit and alex gripping on to my hand was like "ooiiiiiiii sorry move" to other people, cracked me up. I mean
the place went dark like pitch black. we got near the front and alex was standing behind me. going into my ear "ooooh haven't met you here before" and "lots and lots of people getting jacked in the dark"and "damn I want you" (I really have to
stop quoting this boy)we started hearing the baseriff to dance dance and the whole place started fucking screaming the place down, the crowd was huge. People were falling over and stuff, people gripping onto me to stay up and alex was swatting them away *smiles*. Plus, jumping so hard.Alex kept on kissing me on my cheek and my neck untold amount of times and once or twice on my lips and having a Hell of time groping me, but what can I say I started it off *wink* Lol!

'fall into bed with me'

It was so funny when the lead singer was like show me some love ya'll everyone was screaming again, someone must have taken off their top and dashed it at the stage then someone dashed their red knickers up towards the stage pissed myself for ages.
and he was like "oooh whoever threw that I will speak to you later" we were singing into people's faces,jumping with other people, proper wrecking eachother My famous emo hair band broke again *sobs*and Alex's headband ended up around his neck.

it all ended too soon. I was sweating like fuck and alex's top was drenched and stuff and his hair was plastard to his forehead and the red was running, hillairious for the fact that he was stating his head was ahving its first period on the street very loudly. He called his friends who he knew were there. Met Danny aka Devz and his girlfriend Lei,rose, Helen and paul.They all had fun and was like to alex we love her about me.Yeay I fitted in. Went to burger king ate. Bought drink and coke
took another bus to streatham and sat in steatham common dancing around and being stupid to the music on Devz phone.It was fucking cold, plus the fact that alex bought water mainly to finish his task of trying to wet my clevage, which he succeded btw,but after that i drenched him head to toe in water*Laughs* that was great. but we had fun...got home at like 3.Me and Alex had an exam next day. We both walked in like the dead had just risen, every fucking inch of our bodies was fucked.
Alex actually has a long scratch on his face and he doesn't know
how it got there.

All my muscle groups hurt and no matter how much Alex massaged my shoulders
and arms, we were both in pain. Jaz was just sitting there, with matty and erin
laughing and talking about us how we were usig the gig to replace violent sex.
*shakes head* yeah I know.

So anyways guys um ... updates
Confirmed I am going to the angels and airwaves gig.
Dave is going lostprophets gig he bought a ticket for stephen, but
he's not sure of going so if he doesn't the ticket is mine *cackles evily*

Charlotte has stopped talking to us because (this is the most funniest reason why)
we didn't want her to get hurt so we told her to stay the night at Kaz's and leave at about 5 in the morning if she really needs to go home.She was wearing the most shortest skirt ever with fishnet tights with rips in it and she wanted to go to her home right thre and then which was in camden,
fucking hell what did she want flashing neon lights saying rape me.
ummm...no so I said to her if she leaves she is intentionally putting
herself in a postiton to get harmed and if it does happen don't come crying
to me, because its your fault to which she replied fuck you corinne
I just laughed. so yeah she is not talking to us.

Neither is sufia, because I danced with her ex man *gasp* eventhough I consider
him as a brother.because I apparently have lost control. Which I am thinking
um... I hardly drink(when I mean hardly drink them lot are ther boozing and acting crazy and there is me sitting at Kaz's computer playing my hacked version of pokemon ruby),Don't smoke, go to college like a goodie two shoes.. okay so I jack stuff here and there(but that comes with the skin colour), but that doesn't make me out of control. eventhough she said all that stuff about me I still told Jasmine about a course that she can do in uni.Sometimes I swearI care too much about people and they don't care a fuck back.

Our group is seriously becoming fucked up. I mean there are people going around
thinking that they are the buffest thing ever to grace the earth *coughcharlottecough*who thinks that is sufia is fat, to me sufia is tiny. char, who could break in half nay second now likes to waste good food with her little eating habits or should I say lack.There are also people, who just in general are pissing people off and then stops talking to them for no reason so ever
*coughsufiacough*

Oh on friday, didn't end up going home. Martha decided to make another
wonderful appearanceand I was late to get my bus again, because Kaz had my phone and I don't really keep track of the time.So I decided to get a bus to camberwell to catch the 176 up to my house. So anyway I got down to the bus stop opposite nandos and some guy starts pissing me off saying how beautiul I am and his friend joins in I was only praying for my bus to come then one of them grabbed me arm and was trying to drag me towards the closed chinese shop.Of course at the part I started pushing and kicking this guy and his friend until they let me go. I ran away from the bus stop took at twelve towards walworth rd I was going to go to my cousins house because I was too scared to even attempt to go home. To face streets that are even more desolate and dark.As I was on the bus, Alex called me from his brothers phone Just to see how I was.I told him what happened and he told me to come to him. So I jumped on a 188 and made my way down to surry keynes Met me at the bus stop and took me to his and him and his brother were watching wrestling *smiles* So we watched wrestling and we all decided to go to bed.

Alex was like um... "I'm trying not to imagine you on bed naked but its not working"
well hun it aint happening was my reply, to which we we standing there just hugging
and his dad walks in (bastard) and asks for a word with Alex outside.
He has an argument with his dad, about me beign there. So alex comes back and was saying that he needed to take a walk.So we walked down near the river and the shops and stuff, just talking about our fathers. He knows everything that entails my dad and I and I know everything about his dad may I juat say our dad's are both fuckers.

we actually fell asleep on the river bench, woke up and it was sunlight at about 5 in the morning.*smiles* everything is finally falling in to place.
Okay well I'm gonna go see ya later x x x

"Oh misery love me"

2006-05-22T11:22:00.000-07:00

Okay, this morning I did something that was only hard of me to do. My friends had enough money to pull together and buy one more ticket to go download bought the ticket, it was out of me and Cal to go. They originally gave the ticket to me, then I thought of the time that cal has been having this year and told my friends to give her the ticket, give her a wicked three days. I abandoned myself and gave it to her. Now she is going around to everyone saying that the boys love her more when really and truth of the fact they loved me more because the ticket was given to me. Its me who gave you that damn ticket, so stop rubbing it in my face like everyone loves ya. god damn.

Anyway alex as a treat ages ago and didn't tell me got me tickets to go and see fall out boy and didn't tell me until last week so this thursday I will jumping up and down with my buff boyfriend to the sounds of fall out boy. *smiles* can't wait.

Um what else, what else.... can't think of anything... I will eventually, btu whatever, yeah having fun so I'll see you laterxx

So steady as she goes...

2006-05-15T09:31:00.000-07:00

Okay people first order of buisness is first for this entry and is that I have to post up this poem...Yeah I know its kinda crappy, but I witnessed the other day, something that made me sick to my stomach. I hope this person, who this is about reads it, because he knows that what most of the people in the world see or will end up seeing about him, if you get what I mean... So its actually 1 poem and 1 song put together that I made. They both fit this situation so forgive me if this is very jumpy...

~~His words blew away/to forget that people have eyes.~~

He stands there infront of everyone
thinking he is so cool
No pictures can be seen
at first glance.
Acanvas that normally holds people life stories
Clean.

But take a deep look beyond the surface
Through his jokes
His ego.
Behind his walls built so strong
he prays that not even
nuclear weapons
can be part of its destruction.
Here lays a soul burdened with insecurities
A broken smashed "man" if he can even dare call himself that
as well as a heart full of splinters
Of women in the past
He has begged secretly in poem and song
not to break his heart and leave him bleeding
that he "hates surprises".
But truly they always find out who he really is
who he has covered to be
disgusted
they turn on their heels
forget him
and most happily move on without him.
Trying to erase the memories he created
I should know
the mistakes they involved themselves in
not even acknowledging his ex like status.

Wake the fuck up
and take a look around you
everyone has a story to tell
I know yours hear the words do they bleed you
unwinding in truth and in motion
everyone knows but too afraid to tell
about you living your sad and lonely life
with mummy's money begging for
praise in hell.

So come on lets stack them up like dominoes
standing side by side.
How he publicises the fact that he rejects society
But in truth and in matter they reject him.
Can't face reality
He drags himself out of their presence everyday
to crumble in his room
infront of his computer
spending endless hours
perfecting the character he plays
in messageboards
chatrooms
The only "friends" he has.
Gathering peoples personalities
and adding them to his own
nothing of originality to actually be shown.
You can't talk about other peoples failures
without seeing your own
So lets push those dominoes down and watch your faults
tumble.

Wake the fuck up
and take a look around you
everyone has a story to tell
I know yours hear the words do they bleed you
everyone knows but too afraid to tell
about you living your sad and lonley life
buying shit to make you happy
a man of ill mannered will.

we can't wait to watch you fall
I'll be happy to see you break
I'll stand with the winning team
the people not good enough for you
the people you undeniably hate.
You play no importance to any of us
do you even play importance to your "friends"
I didn't think so
Just like your bestfriend can drop you easily
and throw you back with no hope into the deep end.
I thought I'd waste my breath this time
I thought I'd make you see
your no better than any of us
when she disowns you
when your use is over and done
we will cheer.

Come down from the clouds have we
joined us finally on earth
Crash and burn in heaps
and in mass
crawl to the mirror and take a good look at the reflection
ugly from the words that you have said.

So slap another card down
and watch us laugh
as another one will only realise
how fucking selfish you are
"gave her no hope for tommorrow"
only wishing you were that special
his words blew away with the wind
to be free from the curse that he placed.

His words blew away
oh so far
His words blew away with the--
they weren't that important anyway
His words blew away with the wind
fresh winds fill her

Hey anyway... what has been up with me. Nothing much really, bickering friends, me and Alex becoming slightly like a married couple and other lovely crazy and smile worthy things.This morning the raconteurs released their album and damn that stuff is hot ecspecially the song "steady as she goes" its a song you can imagine in the background while seth from the o.c on a skateboard goes past. *drools* Adam Brody.

Plus, the white psp has finally, after me seeing it like in December has crawled its ass slowly but very surely to us in the u.k and the pakaging looks so perfect. Ignore me I am just going on one of my technology rants.

Um meant to meeting up with my friend called eddy. Got a myspace account due to my cousin Dee and others keep on annoying me to get one so go and add me if you love me .
http://www.myspace.com/imperialshadowess *smiles*

Been studying with Alex today.. got some studying done *smiles* although instead of us being ahead in sociology, we never got on to it. Lol! We kept on coming out with pure randomness today... his funniest one today in the middle of the quiet library may I add "Damn I've never seen a weave that bad.. oh my god" as this girl was walking by. I had to hold his mouth 'cus he shouted it. awww my gosh he is so funny, but he said something sweet today, which reminded me he was leaving in four months. "how the fuck am I going to let you go in september" and truly all I answered to that was I have no clue.

So, still waiting for damn lsc to process my damn student loan form and send it back as quick as possible if I made any mistakes, because from my friend fran they sent it back to her four or five times to tell her that she didn't put her middle name in one place, even though she had filled it out almost everywhere else. Lol!

Just downloading a few tracks right now and meant to be taking off to go and see Kaz. I am so tired I am pracically worn thin. Need sleep. So I'll be going now Might make another update during the week.

"So steady as she goes. Steady as she goes"

Claddagh rings entangled with grass

2006-05-10T09:24:00.000-07:00

Guess whose back, back again, Martha's back, tell a friend.Guess whose back x6

Well from that entrance of my blog entry you can guess who I have seen. Lol!

Well martha, plus tim. Came back to the house. I miss tim because he is always down in luton now
and I never have a time face to face to catch up with him and his humor... oh knowone and I mean knowone can make me
laugh so hard until I am nearly pissing myself like Tim can.

I was waiting alone in Kaz's house because she left the door on the latch, but strangely no one was in so
I decided to stand there and wait for her. So I hear rattling of dizzys lead as she has just taken him for a walk.
Kaz walks in all smily looking at me comes a bit forward and I notice someone is still standing behind her
closing the door. Then I realised who it was and this look of shock came over me. My eyes popped out of my damn head.
Kaz just started pissing herself laughing.

So we talked and she has been upto a lot recently, only when everyone starts to know about certain stuff that is
when I will say anything about it lol. but yeah lets just say she has been very, very busy. She has had another kid.
Yes, another one. Remember last time she has a baby named Tyresse guess what she called this one... wait for it...god dammit people be patient...
Okay she called this baby reese *laughs* spelt that was as well.She also had it with the same guy that dragged her across the park by her hair *shakes head* this world is so funny.

So what's up with me recently... Um got my predicted grades back, I was floored, like a fish with no water,Panting, screaming and of course shock.
Plus, me nearly pulling Alex's arm out of the socket his predicted grade was a low B, mine on the other hand was an A. Yes a A.
Lord if I get an A I will shout and fucking scream for days on end.Lol! Alex started to be a moody cunt though, he didn't like the fact that I am
predicted higher than him because he is competative, even worse than what jasmine is. lol! aww cutie, he had a frowny face all day. Minus the fact of when we were in the park
across from college laying in the sun there was not a sad face to be seen. Jaz from college kept on passing by and wolf whistling at me, it was funny that girl cracks me up.

There is a possibility that all my friends have been nagging me to go download that I actually might be going with Zen (david, "aka" my gay lover)
He wants to pay for me to go. Cal is praying everyday that david gets paid soon so all the tickets don't run out like. So there is a possibility, quite a big one,
because dave never likes to let me down that I might me going. If I do go I can't wait to hook up with all my friends from manchester and yorkshire who are going, plus the ones
from london, like Jenny, Piablo, Lexi "aka" alex,alan,mekhi,val,samantha,pacey,seara(us blackies representing) and etc.

Oh I borrowed boots to Kaz and it took her two weeks to destroy them *Shakes head* just trying to sort em out. Before mum finds out that Kaz borrowed them and destroyed them.
lol the have a cig burn on one side. The front is badly scuffed and the swade, no longer looks like swade because someone smartly wore them out in the pouring rain.

Going shopping with char today and maybe after that I got a feeling that lexi (alex) will call me to come and meet him.

I recently took some pictures of myself and more and more I swear I look like an emo. A black emo ...is that even possible. I man I don't have to dye anything black
because I already got that down. Although lexi is the first guy to realise that my hair is not black, well that's because he has seen it all the time in the sun light.
oooh did I mention he got some sexy jacket the other day. Ever watched dracular 2000 I think when gerald butler (the guy who was the phantom in phantom of the opera)
he is in constant wearage of this long black jacket, the longer version to my short jacket. Might find a pic. We were walking down the street wearing our jackets and I swear people were
looking at us in awe... straight out of the matrix.

Ooh just checked out the specs for the ps3's re-launch and omg...*waves bye bye* to the xbox360. Has blown it out of the water.
Yeah so what the design is not so hot. But hear this. There is 3D controller that allows users to navigate through games by simply tilting or moving the controller in the air . That's some hot shit right there.
Its price tag is ranging in about around £330. It will also link the psp as another control pad, being able to use that as a way to see behind you. Good thing people though, they have changed the control pad back to the one
we know and love, so no boomerang shit. Plus, downloading games, levels, tv shows, films and all sorts included. Plus I quote form the evening standard " The ps is incredibly powerful and far more advanced than anything we have seen previously" *smiles proudly*

Anyway got a lot to do, talking to dave online and can't be sitting here typing about my life and the crap that surrounds itso I am off. Have a great week whatever you are doing, love ya loads byez.

Take my Hand...

2006-04-19T10:31:00.000-07:00

Hey people. Well I am now losing all sanity I thought I had left, rying to grip on to it as much as I can but it seems to be slipping away from me bit by fucking bit.I'm gonna list all the problems that I have a discuss them one by one and just laugh at how god is just expecting to much of me to be able to deal with this year and finish 2006 with my mental state intact cause I can tell you I am gonna have a breakdown soon. I will snap at ever living creature in the vicinity of this me before it though. I hate when I start to do that. Let start with the most rediculous ones.

This whole Sufia and Charlotte thing. Okay I have never seen such stupidity in my life. Haven't they ever heard when your man starts doing you wrong and starts coming on to other chicks never blame the chick...blame the man. But Oh no. Sufia is still clearly in love with mark no matter how much she tries to deny it. (yes I know you will read this sufia that is every reason why I am putting it here) How me, Jay and Azera sat in the park for how many hours explaining to sufia why going out with mark would be a really bad move. Did she listen to us... does she ever...NO! Now when mark starts going around being the manwhore that he is, she starts feeling hurt and abused and I am like didn't I tell you this was going to happen. Still she blames Charlotte. Yes, we all know charlotte has her times when she seems...whats the word...easy.That's char... you can't change who she is. She knows that every guy finds her attractive so she uses it to her advantage. So a couple of weeks ago charlotte came back into me and Kaz's life and has decided she wants to hang around with us again. Since sufia has found out that I am hanging out charlotte, all of a sudden I am a traitor. Also that I am acting differently towards her, when she is being off with me.Practically I know she has been complaining to Jay about me and you know what...I don't give a damn no more because I am realising the people who I have always trusted, my trust in them is starting to fade now.

Which brings me to Jay. Don't get me wrong, I love jay with everything that I have got but lord knows I am never gonna tell her anything to do with mark, charlotte or sufia again. I know sometimes I say things I shouldn't but if they are said I always say 'em to jay so I can keep 'em there. But the fact of the matter is I asked Jay did you tell sufia about the whole charlotte thing in depth, she swore to me and said no. Sufia comes round and does something to make me think that she does. It makes me so angry and upset with her. that I am used as her link, her gossip. Therefore I will play this role no more. When I go to Jays to watch o.c I am just gonna go there watch the programme and leave straight away. No talking about Kaz's house or any of it. Then the funniest thing is she says she has had enough of Kaz's but when they need there little entertainment top up that's when her and sufia go over there. They are not friends to her, and if that is the only way of showing their friendship then lord knows I am not too sure I wanna be in contact with these people.

My mum is saying she wants me out of her house now, because definatley I am nto gonna turnholy and time soon. So I have to find a hostel placement before I start uni.So once again another family memeber is treating me like shit and Ihave to leave my home and find somewhere else, to be even more depressed at...oh yey.

My dad and my mum's courtcase is coming up. I don't want to be there. They keep on expecting me to have all this time to pay attention to both of their bullshit. One wants me to not go to church, come and see them every fucking day and the other wants me to go to church and forget all my friends and the clothes I wear and the music I listen to. Yeah I have never changed myself for anyone why should I start now.

My bro has been moved to the isle of wight prison. I don't have the money to be going down there and seeing him. So I have no one who knows what it is like to go through this shit around me. Plus, I need him to put my rents in their place. They are just both taking fucking advantage of me right now.

University and applying for the fucking thing is ticking me off. The student loan form is as heavy as two fucking bibles and its like it is written in hebrew of some sort although yes it is written in the english language. I feel like shooting the people that made up that form. They must be sitting there laughing knowing that I have to fill in my name more than five times on a damn booklet. I am only through half of it and I have filled in my name 4 friggin times!

Synovate the company I am meant to get the new job from.Is just annoying me, I have to wait until next month until they hire me.

My relationship issues lol! Read half of my DA shit and you might get the idea.

I haven't really enjoyed myself in a while like properly. That is why when I go on this dev meet on the 29th of april I plan to have so much fun and meet so many new people to make my life a bit more interesting. More people to talk to.

I Think I am done. I have finished my ranting and I think I feel alot better now. Yep, I think I do lol! So I think I am gonna go and remember my blog, my words. shut the fuck up and just read. lol
byesxxx

I Love spending my time with you....

2006-04-10T07:03:00.000-07:00

Hey ya all. Well this easter holiday is looking slightly hopeful as I actually won money for the grand national got around 200 hundered quid kept 60 and gave 140 to my mum and where has this 60 quid gone...EBAY AND FUCKING CLOTHES LOL! and of course the girlie accesories like eyeliner and eyeshadow (not that they are going to be used that often) but yeah might as well you know pile on the endless make up like girls my age do. who am I kiddin. I may have the biggest and visible blackhead scar on the side of my face and also building family around it. but guess what I couldn't give a flying fuck about it being there. If it wants to stay there then go ahead I do not care, it would be nice if it went away though. Maybe my face might not look so pachy and stuff. Although guys ecspecially alex likes to tell me how innocent and cute I look. Look people yes I know I look 12 can we drop it now!

Um played a little prank on Zak, well not prank but to see whether he does know alot about music as he says he does. In his words not mine " why do these people keep on asking me have I evr heard of this band or that band. I probably know most of the bands out there". I said to him do you know crossade have a new album and he was like "uh I've downloaded it" when in real truth of the matter crossfade have not got a new album out because they are taking some kind of hiatus...therefore...my dear old pal Zak is lying. Plus, doesn't know what he is talking about. I was just sitting there at my comp screen pissing myself laughing. aww I am soo good.

The boondocks, this cartoon that I saw in america that I don't think they are going to bring over here is really funny if you just love hugie taking the piss out of R.kelly."i yoy want to help r.kelly find him a woman his own age, take away his damn video camera,and this nigger some help. Havre you lost your mind and can you please stop the god damn dancing get some dignity" Had me in stitches for ages. Holding my stomach and rubbing my cheecks and all sorts. It just rules. Plus Fran is trying make me watch every downloadable ep of bleach that exsists. She said see would give me anal probing jark style...so I prefer to watch intentally.

Started a collage on my wall of just different stuff. I am atcually gonna have bit of it relating to my life, kind o some progression o my personality how I have grown, 'cus believe it or not I have changed quite a bit from a year ago. David saw it last night.

Saw wrestlemania last night, Must say it wasn't the greateset one I have wacthed but it was alright. Me and Dave did get a bit bored through the middle and chatting online. After wrestling, listened to music chatted, joked AROUND OR AGES. We both fell asleep nearly at the same time. During the night his cat took placement practically on my head. In the morning I was wondering why my head was feeling heavy when I was waking up. To find gombachoff's ass in my face lol.

So yeah I am just gonna get back to living my life people see ya later x x x

Easter...exams...revision...date...smiles

2006-04-07T11:04:00.000-07:00

Um Okay I'm at the internet cafe like I am most of the time these days. No wonder I am sooooo poor. Lol! Well I am a little annoyed because of revison and exams. I mean, what teenager isn't shitting themselves about some exam about to take place. Mine determines whether not I go to uni or not. I have never failed before and I aint about to start now *wolf whistles and cheers* Thankyou.

Alex and me are starting to become more official lol! I know you lot must be wondering what is taking me all this time. The boy is Hot, sweet and is into the same stuff you are go for it. Well, that's all I have been hearing from people in college. I've just had alot of stuff on my mind and now I am like, you know what fuck it. Why don't I just go ahead with it and see what happens. It was embarrassing though at lunch last week in the middle of the hall I was holding my lunch waiting for my friends Jaz and Remi to get their lunch because it was taking ages and he just walked in spotted me smiled, walked towards me and was there he was smootching my face off. Not good because Jaz right next to us, watching us seriously and was like "wooohooo girl get to working" we just had to stop and crack up.

I've been trying to take a picture of him for ages, but he keeps on running away from the camera. Why are guys always afraid of a camera??? Uh I dunno. But we are going out next week *smiles* I think to watch scary movie 4 and go somewhere else but he won't tell me where. *shrugs shoulders*

Got a new cross the thing looks gorge. I saw it in the shop and I swear my heart missed a beat. *laughs* yeah so I just had to buy it. bought a new top too. Some other stuff as well.

On sunday me and david hopefully are watching wrestlemania together and he hasn't watched it just so I can watch it with him. Sad, but loving and geeky...*hugz* So come sunday I shall be in his house, in his bed with icecream, possibly popcorn and Pizza (um..... pizza) and kicking back. Aint done that with him in awhile so we have alot to do afterwards.

Okay well I gotta go because , my best friend Kaz has just lost her dad and is very upset about it, so bestfriend to the rescue. Okay so see ya x x x

Updates

2006-04-03T10:28:00.000-07:00

Hey guys well I have all my uni choice back. But now I am getting a bit you know freaked out because of the change and I have to go and take an exam at london Met uni. Plus, I'M TOO TIERD TO START UNI. I don't think I am ready. I know sounds stupid, but I really do not feel ready. Plus I have to make a definate replay to all of my unis before the 4th of May. So I have a whole month to figure out what the hell I am going to do. Whether, I am going to make up my mind and go to uni or not. I just feel to tired honestly, believ me its part of a dream of mine to step into he doors of uni,but I dunno. I have these unconditional offers sitting here looking me in the face and I don't want to take any of them up. *shakes head* The closet to me is London Met and Greenwich, but then the others are Kingston uni which is far off, and another uni which happens to be all the way in ealing. So I am slightly screwed up travel wise. lol!

Other than that everything has been good. Went for a job interview and I got called yesterday and told me I might have a place. The guy didn't sound to sure lol, but hey whatever. I got to apply for my student Loan, which I should have done already arrrrrrgggggghhhhhhh.

what else... I know I had loads to fill you in about but I can't seem to remember what they are... ah this brain of mine. Been writing alot more poetry recently, which kaz has been looking through my book that I carry with me everywhere... trying to evtry a poetry thingy and I have to do some kind of poemy thing for my exams too so I have to keep on at it I guess.

Anyways I am gonna go because I have loads of stuff to do and basically this is taking up precious time to write.

can't be bothered with a funny pun, or any thing humourous for you guys today so... bye, seeya later and have a nice day.

what a wonderful world this would be - sam cooke (great song)

2006-03-30T10:09:00.000-08:00

Don't know much about history,
don't know much biology.
Don't know much about a science book,
don't know much about the french I took.
But I do know that I love you,
and I know that if you love me, too,
what a wonderful world this would be.
Don't know much about geography,
don't know much trigonometry.
Don't know much about algebra,
don't know what s slide rule is for.
But I know that one and one is two,
and if this one could be with you,
what a wonderful world this would be.

I don't claim to be an 'A' student,
but I'm tryin' to be.
For maybe by being an 'A'-student, baby,
I can win your love for me.

Don't know much about history,
don't know much biology.
Don't know much about a science book,
don't know much about the french I took.
But I do know that I love you,
and I know that if you love me, too,
what a wonderful world this would be

- sam cooke - what a wonderful world this will be.

Another Fallen Angel

I use to use this blog...

goodbye life I use to know... Hello to a daunting tomorrow.

Come Home - onerepublic

Blue Valley Songbird

let down by my sadness

Sweet Silver Lining

Music washes away from the soul the dust of everyday life. -Berthold Auerbach

I am the master of my fate... I am the captain of my soul.

Oh mother.

You're gonna save me from myself

El beso del final

For all the things you do.. may God have mercy on you *smiles*

K... jackage.

before I Slice you like government cheese lol

The Mcpherson Magic

We break hearts, Not Hymens

Listening to country songs of my past

Brighter Skies Are Coming...

hehe funny screen shot

No more DOA *SNIFFS*

Filthy Dirty Disgusting Brutal Bottom-Feeding Trash Bag HOOOOOEE! / I'm cancelling this subscription because you have to many issues.

The Final Fight I'll Win, But I Will Go On Until The End.

You sent me a song.

Michael Vartan Fangirl moment

Give me more time Mr Deadline.

Its not too late, its never too late.

Who would've thought that pretending was easy.

I need a break... A long break away from life.

Reviews, Updates and Happiness.

Hide - I just have to hide. Laast Chance!!!

Why should I frown I know myself after all.

The greatest fraudster on earth

A broken blade in a confused heart.

About Me...

Today's the day when I sit by and watch my life waste away

A cold that could Kill

Sister Mary Gang member and her gang banging crew.

Scotty doesn't Know

My punishment....

Update.... yeaaaahhhh yeaahhhh another one.

Give me a reason to believe that you're gone. I see your shadow so I know they are all wrong.

They Patched me up and sent me on my merry way

My so deserved punishment

I'm at my limit

Happy B-day. You can stand under my umbrella.

Happy Bday Blog - You're the best blog a girl could have lol...

Too much road to cover and yeah its a bitch I'm still behind.

Kayane Newly acclaimed lady of the shadow is bowing out .. well kinda.

Girls are bitches - so fed up for them as friends.

Random things I got of Komal

Topic: Growing up, People changing like hell they do.

Howdy doodie nice people. Stop messing up naruto for me you baka's

what goes around comes back around... biatch I know everything about karma I run that biatch

Babes.. what?!? Can you get the britneys in?

Keep holding on.... Cus I know we'll make it through. I'll make through.

It's the way he is in your mind.

Woah its funny how you can be happy one moment and just pissed off the next.

GO GO EMO RANGERS

If your computer catches a virus while downloading porn, is that still counted as an std?/ I can't believe you are cheating on me... with your wife.

yeah I so what if I put a bomb in the lecture hall

Let it be I say, let it be

Today is my day to shine *smiles*

damn nigger.... its well freezing up in here...

I'm getting ready for my pressed purple suit.

woah season 4 is the shizzle.

The old Alliances are dead. Cordie, you are on your own. Roger that.

Drinking myself to shreds, breaking hearts that I just can't mend.Stop all these voice inside my head. Coke,Coffee,Alcohol, love and loss.all I got.

Greetings and Prezzerz

barney the gansta

Black Diamond.

Update in bulletpoints. aint got time to write full lengths of crap.

I failed my assignment because of this fucked up shit

*Bollocks chants* Inme comeback you were fucking great.

- Feed my immune system to the sharks -

Ha apparently what my birthday says about me. I must admit most of it is true, just some part really aren't.

*w00ts* grant spending time. *uses the hurricane helms old phrase* Stand back there is a hurricane coming through. (I think that's it anyway)

Cordie's bitches F.C/ Don't say write anything it never ends well *laughs*

Dead ir Alive movie is gonna kick ass

I'll remember You / Landing in London

For all the things you do.. may God have mercy on you smiles

No more DOA SNIFFS

Today is my day to shine smiles

Bollocks chants Inme comeback you were fucking great.

w00ts grant spending time. uses the hurricane helms old phrase Stand back there is a hurricane coming through. (I think that's it anyway)

Cordie's bitches F.C/ Don't say write anything it never ends well laughs

Happy Bday Blog huggles You have served me well.

Easter...exams...revision...date...smiles