Monday, May 22, 2006

Okay, this morning I did something that was only hard of me to do. My friends had enough money to pull together and buy one more ticket to go download bought the ticket, it was out of me and Cal to go. They originally gave the ticket to me, then I thought of the time that cal has been having this year and told my friends to give her the ticket, give her a wicked three days. I abandoned myself and gave it to her. Now she is going around to everyone saying that the boys love her more when really and truth of the fact they loved me more because the ticket was given to me. Its me who gave you that damn ticket, so stop rubbing it in my face like everyone loves ya. god damn.

Anyway alex as a treat ages ago and didn't tell me got me tickets to go and see fall out boy and didn't tell me until last week so this thursday I will jumping up and down with my buff boyfriend to the sounds of fall out boy. *smiles* can't wait.

Um what else, what else.... can't think of anything... I will eventually, btu whatever, yeah having fun so I'll see you laterxx

Monday, May 15, 2006

So steady as she goes...

Okay people first order of buisness is first for this entry and is that I have to post up this poem...Yeah I know its kinda crappy, but I witnessed the other day, something that made me sick to my stomach. I hope this person, who this is about reads it, because he knows that what most of the people in the world see or will end up seeing about him, if you get what I mean... So its actually 1 poem and 1 song put together that I made. They both fit this situation so forgive me if this is very jumpy...


His words blew away/to forget that people have eyes.

He stands there infront of everyone
thinking he is so cool
No pictures can be seen
at first glance.
Acanvas that normally holds people life stories
Clean.

But take a deep look beyond the surface
Through his jokes
His ego.
Behind his walls built so strong
he prays that not even
nuclear weapons
can be part of its destruction.
Here lays a soul burdened with insecurities
A broken smashed "man" if he can even dare call himself that
as well as a heart full of splinters
Of women in the past
He has begged secretly in poem and song
not to break his heart and leave him bleeding
that he "hates surprises".
But truly they always find out who he really is
who he has covered to be
disgusted
they turn on their heels
forget him
and most happily move on without him.
Trying to erase the memories he created
I should know
the mistakes they involved themselves in
not even acknowledging his ex like status.

Wake the fuck up
and take a look around you
everyone has a story to tell
I know yours hear the words do they bleed you
unwinding in truth and in motion
everyone knows but too afraid to tell
about you living your sad and lonely life
with mummy's money begging for
praise in hell.

So come on lets stack them up like dominoes
standing side by side.
How he publicises the fact that he rejects society
But in truth and in matter they reject him.
Can't face reality
He drags himself out of their presence everyday
to crumble in his room
infront of his computer
spending endless hours
perfecting the character he plays
in messageboards
chatrooms
The only "friends" he has.
Gathering peoples personalities
and adding them to his own
nothing of originality to actually be shown.
You can't talk about other peoples failures
without seeing your own
So lets push those dominoes down and watch your faults
tumble.

Wake the fuck up
and take a look around you
everyone has a story to tell
I know yours hear the words do they bleed you
everyone knows but too afraid to tell
about you living your sad and lonley life
buying shit to make you happy
a man of ill mannered will.

we can't wait to watch you fall
I'll be happy to see you break
I'll stand with the winning team
the people not good enough for you
the people you undeniably hate.
You play no importance to any of us
do you even play importance to your "friends"
I didn't think so
Just like your bestfriend can drop you easily
and throw you back with no hope into the deep end.
I thought I'd waste my breath this time
I thought I'd make you see
your no better than any of us
when she disowns you
when your use is over and done
we will cheer.

Come down from the clouds have we
joined us finally on earth
Crash and burn in heaps
and in mass
crawl to the mirror and take a good look at the reflection
ugly from the words that you have said.

So slap another card down
and watch us laugh
as another one will only realise
how fucking selfish you are
"gave her no hope for tommorrow"
only wishing you were that special
his words blew away with the wind
to be free from the curse that he placed.

His words blew away
oh so far
His words blew away with the--
they weren't that important anyway
His words blew away with the wind
fresh winds fill her


Hey anyway... what has been up with me. Nothing much really, bickering friends, me and Alex becoming slightly like a married couple and other lovely crazy and smile worthy things.This morning the raconteurs released their album and damn that stuff is hot ecspecially the song "steady as she goes" its a song you can imagine in the background while seth from the o.c on a skateboard goes past. *drools* Adam Brody.

Plus, the white psp has finally, after me seeing it like in December has crawled its ass slowly but very surely to us in the u.k and the pakaging looks so perfect. Ignore me I am just going on one of my technology rants.

Um meant to meeting up with my friend called eddy. Got a myspace account due to my cousin Dee and others keep on annoying me to get one so go and add me if you love me .
http://www.myspace.com/imperialshadowess *smiles*

Been studying with Alex today.. got some studying done *smiles* although instead of us being ahead in sociology, we never got on to it. Lol! We kept on coming out with pure randomness today... his funniest one today in the middle of the quiet library may I add "Damn I've never seen a weave that bad.. oh my god" as this girl was walking by. I had to hold his mouth 'cus he shouted it. awww my gosh he is so funny, but he said something sweet today, which reminded me he was leaving in four months. "how the fuck am I going to let you go in september" and truly all I answered to that was I have no clue.

So, still waiting for damn lsc to process my damn student loan form and send it back as quick as possible if I made any mistakes, because from my friend fran they sent it back to her four or five times to tell her that she didn't put her middle name in one place, even though she had filled it out almost everywhere else. Lol!

Just downloading a few tracks right now and meant to be taking off to go and see Kaz. I am so tired I am pracically worn thin. Need sleep. So I'll be going now Might make another update during the week.

"So steady as she goes. Steady as she goes"

Wednesday, May 10, 2006

Claddagh rings entangled with grass

Guess whose back, back again, Martha's back, tell a friend.Guess whose back x6

Well from that entrance of my blog entry you can guess who I have seen. Lol!

Well martha, plus tim. Came back to the house. I miss tim because he is always down in luton now
and I never have a time face to face to catch up with him and his humor... oh knowone and I mean knowone can make me
laugh so hard until I am nearly pissing myself like Tim can.

I was waiting alone in Kaz's house because she left the door on the latch, but strangely no one was in so
I decided to stand there and wait for her. So I hear rattling of dizzys lead as she has just taken him for a walk.
Kaz walks in all smily looking at me comes a bit forward and I notice someone is still standing behind her
closing the door. Then I realised who it was and this look of shock came over me. My eyes popped out of my damn head.
Kaz just started pissing herself laughing.

So we talked and she has been upto a lot recently, only when everyone starts to know about certain stuff that is
when I will say anything about it lol. but yeah lets just say she has been very, very busy. She has had another kid.
Yes, another one. Remember last time she has a baby named Tyresse guess what she called this one... wait for it...god dammit people be patient...
Okay she called this baby reese *laughs* spelt that was as well.She also had it with the same guy that dragged her across the park by her hair *shakes head* this world is so funny.


So what's up with me recently... Um got my predicted grades back, I was floored, like a fish with no water,Panting, screaming and of course shock.
Plus, me nearly pulling Alex's arm out of the socket his predicted grade was a low B, mine on the other hand was an A. Yes a A.
Lord if I get an A I will shout and fucking scream for days on end.Lol! Alex started to be a moody cunt though, he didn't like the fact that I am
predicted higher than him because he is competative, even worse than what jasmine is. lol! aww cutie, he had a frowny face all day. Minus the fact of when we were in the park
across from college laying in the sun there was not a sad face to be seen. Jaz from college kept on passing by and wolf whistling at me, it was funny that girl cracks me up.

There is a possibility that all my friends have been nagging me to go download that I actually might be going with Zen (david, "aka" my gay lover)
He wants to pay for me to go. Cal is praying everyday that david gets paid soon so all the tickets don't run out like. So there is a possibility, quite a big one,
because dave never likes to let me down that I might me going. If I do go I can't wait to hook up with all my friends from manchester and yorkshire who are going, plus the ones
from london, like Jenny, Piablo, Lexi "aka" alex,alan,mekhi,val,samantha,pacey,seara(us blackies representing) and etc.

Oh I borrowed boots to Kaz and it took her two weeks to destroy them *Shakes head* just trying to sort em out. Before mum finds out that Kaz borrowed them and destroyed them.
lol the have a cig burn on one side. The front is badly scuffed and the swade, no longer looks like swade because someone smartly wore them out in the pouring rain.

Going shopping with char today and maybe after that I got a feeling that lexi (alex) will call me to come and meet him.

I recently took some pictures of myself and more and more I swear I look like an emo. A black emo ...is that even possible. I man I don't have to dye anything black
because I already got that down. Although lexi is the first guy to realise that my hair is not black, well that's because he has seen it all the time in the sun light.
oooh did I mention he got some sexy jacket the other day. Ever watched dracular 2000 I think when gerald butler (the guy who was the phantom in phantom of the opera)
he is in constant wearage of this long black jacket, the longer version to my short jacket. Might find a pic. We were walking down the street wearing our jackets and I swear people were
looking at us in awe... straight out of the matrix.

Ooh just checked out the specs for the ps3's re-launch and omg...*waves bye bye* to the xbox360. Has blown it out of the water.
Yeah so what the design is not so hot. But hear this. There is 3D controller that allows users to navigate through games by simply tilting or moving the controller in the air . That's some hot shit right there.
Its price tag is ranging in about around £330. It will also link the psp as another control pad, being able to use that as a way to see behind you. Good thing people though, they have changed the control pad back to the one
we know and love, so no boomerang shit. Plus, downloading games, levels, tv shows, films and all sorts included. Plus I quote form the evening standard " The ps is incredibly powerful and far more advanced than anything we have seen previously" *smiles proudly*

Anyway got a lot to do, talking to dave online and can't be sitting here typing about my life and the crap that surrounds itso I am off. Have a great week whatever you are doing, love ya loads byez.