Fading Sing

Verus:
These lonely walls
Trap me in
showing blood stains
run down them
and it enscribes your name
every memory I seek
is in the depths of me
I write them
trying to grasp what I have left of you
but you're fading
eventhoguh I protest I'm losing you

Chrous:

Come to me
From the side of my brain you hide
sing to me
the song grocki
Losing more souls tonight
I've seen you dissapear once
not gonna let it happen again
I buried you and you laythere
But your memory will always sing

sing on sing a song x2


Verse:
What do I have left
that isn'y already gone
Mama tells me to move on
without your is like a coma patient
fighting for air drowned in a deep sleep
everything about you gives me oxygen
giving me air to breathe

the beginning of my week

well this week is turning out to be very eventful I mean we played this really funny prank on phillip me kaz were pretending to be practically two busty blondes maria and leanne over the phone and he fell for it, it was soooooo funny! anyways today I came in to school with a note in hand and everything and me thinking maybe you know that awful shit of a woman miss hicks would let it go that I was late today because I never had enough money to get a bus pass and I was sick yesterday! but no low and behold she brings world war three at me and I brought it right back! I called her egotistical and I said half of her form thought so! I also told her she was not mature and that she frankily needed to get a life. I also told her she had issues and that she was really sarcastic. I was really proud of myself! lol! I was, I mean I walked out of there having a real impact on her head that her whole form class hate her, which they do! *SINGS* hahahahahaha bitch you got it, you got it , you really really got it. she got the corinne hunt special lol! dosage is deadly! lol! anyways got nothing else to really talk about and I'm already pissed off I really dont want to make myself more aggitated I'll see you later!

My Saturday

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On the Saturday I went to nandos with char, kaz, ash and kaz and ashs little cousin Gabrielle. I remember her from when she fell over and hurt herself when she was trying to show off when we went bomfire night lol! but anyways as such nights or any meeting that happen recently they have always started with complications or the brother and sister (ash and kaz) having an argument this normally goes on for about and hour maybe two hours if the matter is really serious! but sometimes it gets jarring and they know this but still they carry on! This time it was about dizzy (kaz's dog) and her not wanting to go home alone! the only problem is that dizzy has a really annoying mind of his own which means like when you take him for a walk its more like he is walking you, and has a tendancy of ripping things (e.g. karlis wallpaper) but other than that he is just a sweet doberman!
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So cus ash didn't want dizzy to rip up his stuff, he was angry that kaz brought the dog in the first place so here we stood for about five hours (okay over exaggeration)about half an hour having this debate about where the dog should go! so finally it was agreed that the dog would be taken to ashers house and put him in the bedroom! (by this time asher was in one of those annoying bad moods which always happen to be taken out on me)*poor me* so anyways we finally got nandos all in bad moods except charlotte and gabrielle who had no clue what was actually go on! But I asked why the table was so quiet me being the pacifist of the group I tried to make us talk to eachother. I can't remember what comment asher made but I snapped at him! I was just really annoyed by that point and really pissed off it took me a while to calm down again! that's normally not me!

so anyways after spending about and hours with eachother we were back on good terms and went to the moblie phone shop across the road. This is the shop where my friend sufia is normally eye raped by the horny guys that lie within this shop but for some reason they had an attraction to me! two of them!!!! arrrrggggh!!!!!! I asked to ash to help me as one was talking to me he put his arm around me! and you could see the guy shooting daggers at asher it was quite funny! yeah and the doctor dre look alike that might have gone on slim fast was just still looking at me! but it was alright least they weren't going to ask me for my number. So big thanks to ash!!!!!!!! but he really embarresed me on the bus it was so funny and people were talking about it on the bus but it was soooooooo funny! he decided that he would just run after the bus and shouting noooooooo|!!!!!! I just hid my face in my hands!!!!

my mum also went to france she looked like she had a great day away from my dad, which is good shame I didn't get the same treatment!! lol! anyways I'm in school now and I got dramam next so I gotta go!

found out that men can still lie to their girlfriends faces

We'll I got a friend lets name no names but if she reads this she'l know it was her I am talking about that has a boyfriend really cool guy as well, treats her remotey good (as she says) and is just great but some information I found out that just makes me wonder about mr Perfect boyfriend his bestfriend who he works with has had a child but not only was his bestfriend sleeping with this girl but my friends boyfriend was too so none of them actually know who the baby belongs to! I really wanna say something to my friend but I dont want to hear 2 years later about how she had a good thing going on with this guy and then he dumped her! and I hate being the bringer of bad news which is just me on the whole really but I really dont know what to do I'm realy lost I wish someone for once at least read this blog and told me how I could solve this!

Today jasmine came into visit shes been a bit, and I say a bit distant but I understand totally about the stress of university and stuff and the piles of work that has to be done but I just dont like the fact that hardly any of us get to eachother again I mean I have gotten used to fact that we are no longer you know at the same school going through the same things and many of us has just split and we need to adjust. but I miss having that familiarity where I can just kick back and say "yeah I have a group of friends which understand me and I can sit and joke with and be totally myself!" I can only do that when I'm at kazs house and I guess in school I have to act more sensible because everyone is acting urban" (kind word for black) I am black too but you dont exactly here me going "yeah blood, no blood, dats heavy" and waking down peckham high street with hair gelled so tightly down to my face. I hate it, I hate school and I'm starting to hate london! I think I'm gonna move out of this pace if this continues I swear sometimes they think they come from america! what was it two days ago I was goingt o kaz's it was freezing cold and there was this boy and a basketball jersey no jacket on, noe sleeves and the matching short on as wel with trainers I was thinking what the fuck!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! its like not hot you know!!!!!!! but hey thats life you can't tell anyone what to do and the same with others to me!!!!!!!!!!!

And So It Goes On

And so it Goes on so what can I do to make you change your mind
to make your words sting less

as they have clouded my judgement

Its like you scrached me with them

Engraved me with the dirtiest blade you could find

your words

your words haunt me because I know they are true

"whatever you touch goes bad"

I try to block them out trying to rememeber that life goes on

"It'll probably effect your kids"

But there is not a day in my mind that doesn't revert

Turn back and look and see the damage I have caused

So dangerous

so Elicit

so painful

But still I sit eagerly

waiting until your life is at the tip of the knife

will you take it all back in your last breaths

could you bear to take your hatred for me to your grave

cause what choice you make determins where you go

and if life as I live it and you dont say

life will go on for some

but enternal burn for others

da Gig was good , life is good until I got to school lol!!!!!

So on sat I went to the most wildest and craziest mosh pit in my life when I mean crazy people were faling over left, right and center and I was being held by this really friendly guy! who was named mel he was a bit easy on the eyes as well! well I went with kaz (best friend) her bro asher (ash for short),martha (girl we were trying to set ash up with didn't quite work tho),georgie (poor guy who just wanted to go to a spunge concert and ashers friend),Thomas (cool dude a bit crazy left very early) and last but not least ZAK (which martha ended up liking which in truth has a girlfriend hiding in blackpool) so as you can imagine it was a very eventful evening of her trying to be the main center of the guys and good old ash wasn't falling for it although he was clearly upset! but first we got a bollocking off him where he snapped at me that I was so angry at him I wasn't talking to him for the whole bus ride there but oh well!!!!!!!!!! so anyways we got there and the place was small but when you there on the floor it was great! we dancing around having a great time and just waiting until spunge got on! are tactic was to get to the front so they all decided they were gonna push me into everybody so they could be a clear path! for us to get to the front unfortuantly that didn't quite go our way we ended up close but not that close to the front! so we were all dancing together! and being pushed on the floor drinks being handed out crowds carrying people over their heads it was one crazy night!!!!!!!

but then I wake up on monday morning all my muscles groups are hurting and I go to school and find out have a detention great more trouble and my teachers didn't appreciate that I left school early becuase I was bored! well I guess my life and school will never change!

hello world, hello spunge gig

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on saturday I'm going to see them live in concert and I'm actually a bit excited cus the whole gang is going and its going to be funa and we are trying to set up my friends brother with a friend of ours and it going to be so cute since they are always like talking to eachother it like soooo cute! I really can't wait any longer but my dad is trying to not let me go on saturday morning I'm waking up bright early morning and walking out of my house in my gothic gear this should be fun!