what a wonderful world this would be - sam cooke (great song)

Don't know much about history,
don't know much biology.
Don't know much about a science book,
don't know much about the french I took.
But I do know that I love you,
and I know that if you love me, too,
what a wonderful world this would be.
Don't know much about geography,
don't know much trigonometry.
Don't know much about algebra,
don't know what s slide rule is for.
But I know that one and one is two,
and if this one could be with you,
what a wonderful world this would be.

I don't claim to be an 'A' student,
but I'm tryin' to be.
For maybe by being an 'A'-student, baby,
I can win your love for me.

Don't know much about history,
don't know much biology.
Don't know much about a science book,
don't know much about the french I took.
But I do know that I love you,
and I know that if you love me, too,
what a wonderful world this would be


- sam cooke - what a wonderful world this will be.

I'm so far gone now, I've been running on empty

Hey Guys... wah gwan Blavz.Well you know what after all this time I might be giving up this blog. I am not comfortable talking about my life anymore, not even in a joky way like I use to soooooooooo until I can you know get past my random shit there will be no writing in this blog.... okay maybe little messages to people who still check this thing and if you still do damn you people must love me *laughs*.

Just filling out LEA forms and getting ready for exams... scared shitless. I am getting down to work now, because if I don't I aint going uni... except the fact that I have already got an offer, an UNCONDITIONAL OFFER (yeah I know I am heavy innit) from Kingston University. *smiles my ass off* So they want me with the grades I've got now... but that is to do Media Technology. So that is knd of my back up plan if everything doesn't go as planned...it will be hello Kingston.

Other mad stuff has happened... Kaz managed to break...yus you read that right, BREAK dwaines window. I couldn't get down there myself because yeah I live an hour away and stuff and I was called up and I had a cold and had been in bed nearly all weekend. I called a certain person hoping that they would help out and not be such a big mouth and learn not to bask in their favouritism, but did they....No. So Kaz has been at my house since monday. She went home today, but we had fun it. My mum took care of her and was just comforting her...(you that is the stuff my mum is good at). So she felt at home.

Un talked to david today and him and Kaz kinda talked lol!Yey!

Getting a new job where I get paid 6.20 hour, which means I will be able to help out alot more and plus replace my laptop. Buy a tv and other random crap for the house.

Alex keeps on asking him why I won't go out with him...its hard to tell him the reason... but he is really becoming a pain with asking me (and yes I know you can read this) I hate it when I am pressured and I know half of my college think he is the buffest thing to grace Southwark college doors but if only they knew what was going on in my head right now they would understand.

Anyway I am gonna go now ... I'll write in here maybe sometime in june or maybe earlier than that.

Oh btw we are talking about the stages of an emo kid and how they are denying what they are because they think that everyone think they fucking conformist (which for me is true because they all look alike).

day 1: 'i am NOT AN EMO!!!!'
day 2: 'why do you keep dissing emos? thanks alot!'
day 3: 'i'm getting my glasses on tuesday woo!'
day 4: 'i've gone off now.'
day 5: 'you get all these scenekids who go off bands really quickly and all dress the same'
day 6: 'I AM NOT AN EMO!!!!!!! emos all wear the same clothes and cry in corners and cut themselves. but i don't do that. oh no.'
day 7: 'i am NOT A GOTH, I AM AN EMO!!!!!'
day: 'i don't conform to labels or stereotypes.'

Then one guy comes out with this....
im going to start my own goddamn trend...

everyone is going to not wear clothes, and instead staple pieces of cloth to their skin...lets se how many people follow

lol! Anyway I'm gone Mwahxxx

I Caught Fire

Hey Guys what can I other than I AM A WHORE!!!! *laughs* That's all I am saying because yeah certain other reasons ... being my dignity and other things. I can't make you lot understand unless if you were in close circles with me and you know what's going on with me.

Things have been good been accepted by more uni's and I go back to college (about time)on monday. I know that a couple people will be glad to have me back such as Jaz, the other corinne and Alex. I had Jaz calling me up in surprise about stuff on our date.

About the whole dignity and losing it (and no I am not using dignity as a cheap version of virginity) its just something I did that makes me feel low about myself, but ahwell what do you guys care.

Um well what can I say excpet I have finally seen my brother he is alright minus the kiddie fiddlers in his block in the prison. Um I'm tired... That bitch that slapped around the face with a book is trying to getting me kicked out. They actually said to me today "corinne you know if the people start thinking that you are causing an uproar at college then we will ahve to tell you to leave" I was like you try you fucking styupid twats. Pre-eminent is coming down this weekend, which consists of Vic, cat, David, Blaine (fucking wicked drummer) and myself are just gonna mess around with our musical instruments and see what we can get going. Not that this thing is my whole idea, I just gave the name that's all.

well I actually wrote a poem, a really bad one at that but I thought I might just put it up on here for the sake of it.. because it kinda goes with the entry so ....

Not you, NotI

He plays on my mind
Encourages
Gives speed
To the love that lay "dormant"
Under all the arteries and the organs
That succumb to his mental presence.
I think of him
while I pull at the puppet strings of another.
His leaves his stench
Not the one I am used to.
The eyes I stare down into
These filled to their lustful content
Missing eyes of emotion
and love
That used to stare
and trace my very features
In appreciation.

The understudy lays soft touches over my skin
Getting pleasure
Holding on to us and what we were
Feeling out memories
Stored for the longterm.
Fulled, out of it intoxicated
"you are not the one I want"
Cries silently inside
While outside moans
Like a cat on heat
Urge this guys continuation.

Not you I want
But I'll make do
A whore when sober
Regrets forever
Not Fuelled.
In my mind you destroy
and make me do this act.
The guy moan as I think "shut up"
You spoil the day dream in this mind
Not you here
you replace another
Not I.

"He was stupid to let you go"
His name it freezes me.
Need to get you out of my mind
Like through this sexual merge
He can fork around with memories
While he is getting his
Full entertainment like a sitcom unwound.
Not worthy to touch them
His hands should burn
Placing them where his used to go
Feeling out the grooves he left.
Cheating
Infidelity
These words cover my brain
Litarly I do no wrong
For this mind is to blame.

Not you I want
But I'll make do
A whore when sober
Regrets forever
Not Fuelled.
There in body
But not in my mind
I yearn for you
It hurts so bad to realise
Not you here
You replace another
Not I.

I'm a fake

hey guys *waves* I'm bored in a net cafe so I just thought I would waste a bit of time because david is meant to be coming online to talk to me about something and so far he is a no show. God have people forgotten that phones exsist and that the internet is not the only form of communication. lol.

So how I am I doing? not to bad and not too good either. I have to except the fact that no matter what I do and how much I try to fix the direction of my life I end up back in the shitty hole I first started at. My mum is still being a pain, now she is arguing with me over me not eating as much. Its not exactly like I am wasting away is it, I have enough fat on my body to last me two winters *laughs* she thinks I am becoming anorexic because I am not eating as much. God damn woman stop watching me and watch yourself.
Spoke to my bro the other week from prison, he is okay a bit tierd from all the work he has to do everyday but he says he is survivng. I told him about what my mum did to me on Valentines day and he waas so angry and stuff he wanted to call her up and speak to her about it but I just told him don't worry I will get hendrick (my other brother...yes Kaz, sufia and Jay the buff one) to talk to her.
I actually feel really sick recently, I still have the never ending cold that I got since I came back from america. Then I may have to have another operation come this april (The cyst resting on my spine has grown back again...very painful) Last time they did that operation I stopped breathing so i only wonder what is going to happen this time.

Kazzy bought me a studded belt from camden and I like it. Plus it makes my ass look even better lol!!!!

Ucas and the uni stuff is doing good so far. I am liking the pace that everything is going at. Plus getting excepted gives you that type of buzz. I need a serious adrenaline rush I haven't had one of those in ages. Damn I need to go to a theme park.

Vic called me up yesterday while I was watching No angels with Jay to tell me that he inally go that blue Ibanez that I loved and had to stare at everytime I went down to huddlesfield. Bastard! He has money and myself I am only wondering how Iam going to survive next year with no job (because I am planning on leaving) and just other stuff.

I need to start decorating my room honestly, eventhough it is a coffin I have to make the most of it right. First thing I need to get is a bed, because this sleeping on the floor shit with about 4 duvets has got to stop. Plus, wardrobes. I guess I have to ask for more hours at work. *screams*

Okay well david is online now so I gtg seeeeeeeee yaaaaaaaaaaaaaaxxxxxxxxx