Thursday, January 04, 2007

Drinking myself to shreds, breaking hearts that I just can't mend.Stop all these voice inside my head. Coke,Coffee,Alcohol, love and loss.all I got.

9 Things you have done today?
- Lost my mind
- Went to Alex's thinking spot
- Drank alcohol alone in my room and got successfully pissed
- Repeated my whole life in my head
- Spoke to Alex
- Cried
- Put up my DOA poster that Komal got me for christmas
- Wrote a poem and ripped it up.
- Listened to music so loud that neighbours from 3 doors away told me to low down my music.

8 Issues you have in your life right now
- The fact this quiz is asking me to list my issues is pissing me off.
- I don't have a problem, but since I have come back from my holiday I have been drinking bottles of rum straight and alone in my room.
- People who tell jokes which are not fucking funny
- People who say they fucking love me over and over on the phone.
- This damn world is just fucking corrupted, you could have the devil dancing around on earth and no one would give a rats ass
- Bus fare and travelcards going up.I mean come on Ken, if you put up the prices anymore, I might as well walk to uni. Fucking hell
- My weight actually,I haven't really noticed how much weight I am putting on. Maybe I should try charlottes favorite diet... is called how to lose weight with bulima *laughs* nah I wouldn't try that. I kinda like my tits (like many men do) and my ass *pats it* and I am big but My height doesn't let the worst of it show.
- Parents and men who trying to get my mother and me not allowed to just be free. I always have something holding me down. Someone blackmailing me.

7 Bad things you have done?
- Took ecstacy when I was fourteen.bad crowd.
- Hurting people emotionally. I mean I study their weak points and when I need to I exploit them. Yeah I'm not so fucking innocent after all.
- Travelled across the world without my mothers knowledge.
- Set a part of burgess park alight and it was in a newletter and on the news
- Jumped a police officer
- 'Cheated' twice on a boyfriend
- Went of my way to total destroy someone

6 Happy Memories ( to tell you the truth there aren't that many)
- The Park, I was part of a group, everyone knew my name, got my humour and loved me for who I was.
- Drunken Times with Kaz,Jasmine, charlotte (eventhough truly she is a little fucking whore),Mark,scott(weed head),Anthony ( backstabbing liar),Dwaine (paedophile),Scanner (crackhead number 1),danny (crackhead number 2),Leanne (*COUGH* Incest *cough*,alisson,asher(ass),chantelle (Slut) and martha(just got fucking issues). Once again because everyone knew me, I was comfortablein my surroundings.I could drink, scream and they would understand it was just part of my strangeness and accepted it.
- When I fell in love the first time. It truly was strange and beautiful lol.
- When I passed My first guitar exam. Chris was getting updated by my mum how I was doing, then I went to party with David.
- When David and I went to our first live wrestling show, That is a fucking buzz. I swear to god its like a damn mosh pit but with seats lol.
- Random Birthday, holidays, brother and sisterly love moments. When I was actually showed love from my parents.

5 Things that turn you on (wtf????)
- Grind with me by Pretty Ricky
- Anything to do with my neck and behind my knee *laughs* I'm ticklish, but if you do it right I will be putty in your hands.
- Alcohol and my period lol I know that sounds sick but its true when I am drunk or on my period I get horny.
- Easiest one ... porn.
- Danger

4 Things you love (nothing this world sucks)
- My friends. The energy they give me is unbelivable, I'm like a vampire sometimes. Sucking them dry and that makes it able for me to entertain them for many hours on end
- Alex, I know its wrong for me too. But I do. I think I always will, he is the one guy who has stuck with me through my shit and when he was so faithful to me I let him go. He connected with me on a different level to any guy I have dated. To Him I am perfect, eventhough I am a train wreck.
- My mind and the way it works. It gives me the knowledge to argue anything when the time comes to it.. Yes I may be nervous and stammery at first but in the end it will be your ass walking away in shame. Debating worldly issues, Religion, theroy's, general ideas and so forth.
- Uni. Its the greatest place ever. Everyone is just so nice and kind and lectures and our sleeping in turn system works pefectly lol. Plus.... because I can't write five, I love my mum.

3 Things you want to do in the future
- A porn star lol
- My dream job... Ya'll know what that is, which kinda doesn't help the first one lol
- To least have a band on the side and get a rock mag *smiles* and in astoria. Then world domination hahahaha.

2 Things you regret
- Jack shit
- Jack shit... Live is there to be lived not to be regretted. Yeah we make many mistakes along the way. but god damn it only makes us stronger. I know I have improved from my mistakes. Yeah I can be a morbid fuck at times, but I could be botherd with what people think or say and its my life not yours. Mind your own business lol.

1 Thing you miss
- Too many things to be just one.

1 comment:

Anonymous said...

Keep up the good work.