Topic: Growing up, People changing like hell they do.

So here is my theory, on the bus home I have been contemplating all the factors that add up to people changing. people wont like it and probably wont agree with it so I warn you now.

Okay today I got a lecture about people growing up and people changing from Kaz and Jay. Basically, we saw charlotte today (Yeah I just had to say I would just laugh if charlotte was there) Its not that I hate her and want to hack her head off ... no I really don't. I just don't want to be anywhere near her.
They say people change as they get older. I don't believe that crap. Basically to change meaning the would change the way they are totally, think and react to to things, that they someway have to change their entire perspective, to your ideal. of to how you have wanted them to be changed. O r maybe not in to your ideal, just a person, which must be taken on as someone completely different.
Making all your wrongs that people find in you completely right.

You can't sit there and cater to every one's way they want to change you.

To me, that's impossible, so when people say they have changed I normally smile and say that's nice for them, but after a few months, this "change" wears away in to nothingness and here we are again, at the same old layer we first saw and started with and once again hated.

To me saying that people have changed, is like smoke and trickery. Illusions created in the inner intention to fool you. But pull away the smiles, and the fake laughter and the clothes and attitude and guess what you have got, the same old person you fell out once before.

So I understand this whole concept of being a christian to forgiving and forgetting, but the best way of forgiving and forgetting is keep away as far as possible,Yes, you can do all the pleasantries of hello and goodbye and so forth or how you would love to do you pleasantries. but also keeping away avoids these fake conversations about how you are? and what you are up to? because really behind all those little speeches is are hidden messages of that underlying need to be better than the other, or to show that we have grown this whole new personality and gained this whole new world and perspective on things and once again that precious word "changed"

But really its all fake.

I no longer want to do fake.

I no longer want to talk about the good old days and how we have all changed. Take chantelle prime example. she back came after her 30 second rape, nice clean clothes, unscratched, no dna under her fingernails and left . She then returns after months and months of not seeing her.

I've changed she exclaims as I first see her, I don't need men like shaun in my life. Funny enough, who is she with now and treating her like complete trash while he is cheating on her with his ex.... Oh right *looks over chantelle's shoulder* Oh Hi shaun.

So we may get older, facially, maybe we might grow to like different things, but one thing we keep, is how we make our friendships. how appreciate those around us, our main intention for that friend.

Friendships like I have had with a couple people in the past, I was a door mat. I help people do everything for them, even when I have things to be doing for myself. if they said "hey cordie I need your help could you...." I would be like yeah I was in the middle of something but I'll will help. But they would use my name as a scape goat. To know that "good old reliable cordie" would always
be there to help them in their time of need and disappear in her own.

So its not hatred, I just feel the further I stay away the more I can protect myself, for slipping back into old habits.

I would have tried to explain this to jay and Kaz, but its hard to get a word in sometimes and when I do, there is not point in it, so most of debating is not worth the hassle.


Okay I think I am done, Yep I think I am.