Reaching in my pocket for a bill that isn't there

Okay so yesterday was just so fun. Honestly, I so much fun I want to do it all over again. So I arrive at Kaz's on a friday because Kaz told me to come over. So I go over and then everyone is dressed up and I was like uh... where is everyone going? Apparently a girls night out and I had been invited but some forgot to tell me so you know I can dress up. So Lianne and Aalisson get there and lianne decideds to make everyone merry (except me) with alcohol. Although, she alread looked like she was on something because most of the girls plus Anthony and Dwaine were getting ready to escape the premises just to get away from her.

So Dwaine before we leave says to me since you will be the only one that will be sober I am telling this to you. Keep Lianne away from scanner, keep all of them away from men and don't let them drink to much. So with much wondering down the street and lianne jumping around place, plus a conversation on the phone to sufia, we reached the pub. Got inside and we realised it was quite crowded alot of people were there. Lianne buys us drink and goes up to lenny and scanner, who are already in the pub and starts talking. So we sat there and realised it was karoke night. *smiles* Many people got up and then my name wass put down for a song I couldn't even remember the words to which was against all the odds by Mariah Carey. So we sung people clapped and we sat down. Chantelle was trying to come on to Lenny, when I think all Lenny was really doing was flirting with her so he could get cigaretts from her. I thinking that was cold, but hey there is nothing that I can do to make Chantelle change her mind and stay away from a prick like Lenny. Then out no where Husband (scottie) and brother (mark) in tow.

We joked around saying that we were gonna put them up to sing. Kaz and scanner sung wonderwall by oasis, which sounded pretty cool. This nice looking bloke name Danny singing voice was so wicked I just had to tell him.Then Kaz,Jade,Lianne and I sung Genie in a bottle.To which mark at the end said out loud does everyone agree they should stay in the bottle. *laughs* you and me in Paradise by phil collins was also sung by Lianne, Kaz and Aalisson. By this time Nearly everyone was drunk except me, Mark, scott and scanner. Then Scott Dared me to sing by myself and I said fine then to show that I wasn't afraid although I was shitting myself for a while I actually forgot that I put my name up and so many people had been doing requests and stuff. Then all of sudden I hear the announcement of "Okay so next up with someone who thinks she can convince the man she loves that he can't fight her love...Corinne singing can't fight the moonlight" I swear I froze in my seat and Scott was just like come on wifey get to it.

So I got up there and Kaz was rushing to the toilet and screaming her head off and was praising who ever it was that got me up there. So the music started and people started dancing and stuff and I was singing and I was sounding pretty good...ecspecially the last chorus when she does that long note. Of course my hand was shaking like mad and Kaz was holding my other hand in support but I did it... I sang by myself, on my own in a public place. After that everyone was clapping and I was getting compliments from everyone, which was cool. When I was coming off the stage I could just hear scott going "That is my wifey right there...see I aint got no untalented bitch...*claps* Well done wifey" It felt so good to just sing my heart out. So I got up and went to the toilet and stuff and was coming out and this really drunk man grabbed my arm and said "you have a really sexy singing voice, but I wanna know what else your mouth can do" I was like ewww and he wouldn't let go of me, Kaz had to rescue me from him. I just didn't wanna hurt him. So Kaz came over pulled me from his grip and just sat down. Lianne was dancing with people just to get alcohol. So we all started getting ready to go but Kaz said she didn't want to go back home to dwaine yet, but we were telling her it was getting a bit late and stuff and the pub was about to close. Lianne pulled Kaz to the door with every reluctance and I swear Lianne took a few steps back and charged at Kaz Because they both fell down on top of each other near the door of the pub... Kaz got angry and Lianne was jolly as every always. We get back to Kaz's and sit around. Dwaine is in bad mood because everyone came in and he was watching rollerball and wanted some peace. So I walked in the kitchen and then Tim calls Kaz's phone and speaks to her and then he finds out that I am there. I tell him that my bro went down for three years yesterday, to which he was like corinne don't get in trouble, stay strong, I love you girl take care of yourself and all sorts because his speech was fulled on alcohol as well. Then she passes back the phone where Kaz tells him that Cole, some guy around Kaz's area wants to stab me.

So I start crying about my brother again (damn I hate my little outbursts) and Kaz comforts me and also watches me go toilet (don't ask). Lenny gets into a fight downstairs and other stuff just started getting out of control. Not very good, not very good at all.

I decide before anymore shit starts happening I would just leave and go home with my sick self, tired and messed up self.

yeah so that was it my fun night...

xOther updatesx

I Went out on my date with Alex, it was great. I loved it, the conversation was brilliant we have so much in common and we even wanna go into the same field of work, which is cool. We went Chinese down west end(and litraly was taking the piss out of everything imaginable)...watched Underworld, which I must say was 50/50 *drools* Scott Speedman. Went down to southbank because someone wanted coffee because it was freezing and shared it with me (not that I am a big fan of coffee) on the way home to my house, where he dropped me off and kissed me. We aren't going out or anything (oh don't I sound like the slag of the evening) I dunno we enjoy each others company and get on very well. sooooo ah well you never know it might turn into a relationship or what not but he keeps on calling me and stuff, which is good.

I took out the horsehair *laughs* so I am back to old Corinne, although I am considering putting them back in.

I've heard from Luton uni, Greenwich and I have an interview for Thames Valley. Yey. Now I am just looking or a busary or something to support me through my years at uni.

Going Job hunting for another job, I love Asda and the people who work there but the pay is pissing me off.

Oh new blog template people,not really completely satisfied with it so I might consider making one.

Yeah so I think that is it people Love you guys very much but I have to go and Meet up with Zen today...Yey. SEE YOU GUYS LATERXXX

Weather forecast for today. Dark and cloudy predicting drive by...

So hey guys, what has been up with you lot? (not that you lot are gonna answer me back *smiles*) but anyway. Um well I am feeling alot better recently, no honest I have. So many people have been encouraging me just keep with what I am doing even though the light at the end of the tunnel seems to keep on dissappearing and stuff *laughs* but I am okay. Oooh I am actually going on a date next saturday although it was meant to be today, but things got kinda changed because of some problems that arose. So Alex, this guy at my college who is just jaw dropping hot asked me out, I was surprised at first since I am actually suspended from college (I will explain that one later) and he just saw me and asked me.

I am suspended from college, because this bitch that I also hate threw a pen at me purposely to take the piss, because I just actually made the class realise how thickle she is, so she throws the pen it hits me in the back of my head...so I get up calmly go towards her and smack her around the head with the text book...*looks at everyone just looking at me with shock* what? she asked for it.

What elsed can I tell you that would interest you guys...umm...ohh started taking request again..even though I broke my lappie in two, two nights ago I am taking requests writing the html up by hand and then sorting them out on the comp. so request people I am open... and frankily a bit bored.

Um by the way I may be ucl (univesity college London) which nearly has the quality and standard of kings, withouyt the snobby people. Which I am might be bound for in uni wise... Hopefully I'm trying to stay in London. Before when I wanted to go away I wanted to get away from memories and just people who made me feel like shit. But now I don't have to do that I never have to see Past peckham anymore so I don't really care. Plus, I am actually talking to my dad in a civalised manner eventhough the man is a bastard.. yes.. I know but he actually calls me now to find out how I am and stuff, which I am actually start not to mind so much.

My bro still doesn't want to see me but I am just saying that, that is his choice he knows I love him and everything so when he needs someone to call or just to talk to I'm here.

Tim calls me all the time now to check if I am alrgith as well, when I say to everybody he is like my older brother they are like no there is something going between you and tim and I am like nope not at all he rather do Kaz, like most men and I think of him as brother... so why people do you make me ill why? I also applied for luton so I might go there also.

So I think that is it...bored, tired and have been summoned to Kaz's house see ya later.xxxxxx

~*chains and bars, constructive force cannot hold us down. Let us breathe, Let us have peace.*~

Hey guys I am going back in a day well I will be on the plane tomorrow and arrive on Friday. I have actually just finished crying…why you all wonder? Well this morning in the early hours of the morning the new I had been fearing to hear all week is that my brother, is in prison. Just typing it makes me well up in tears. I can’t take it this life isn’t anything without my brother being there helping me out. I swear it feels like a part of me is missing. So when I get back the first thing I do is go and see him. It also means there is a possibility I can never see hug him… I don’t even know I just want to be alone at the moment, but I can’t have to be the perfect house guest and then mope on the way home.

Um I am going out with my cousin D tonight just to china town to get some stuff for sufie an Jay. Like tiny presents not that I have enough money too but I will try. Everyone feels kinda down that Thomas is in prison I heard my dad cried again why is he becoming so weak these days . It is only until recently have I ever seen that man cry. But apparently I was wailing down the phone. Oh great there goes me feeling sorry for him again oh for fuck sake.

I guess I am down in the dumps because of what is happening with my brother but I am trying to stay positive because of my UCAS form I finally finished it and sent it to miss Weston now who should be doing my reference and helping a nigga out. Lol!

Okay so I am going to um you know pretend to go and do something, actually pretend I am going to do something to my family. But go and cry again (pathetic yes I know) I just miss him.

Flash and clash forever

me and thomas younger.

*Give me all your poison.~ Give me all your pills.~ Give me all your hopeless hearts and make me ill*

Okay I am in still America, as most people have guessed and just random stuff has been happening at home which I really need to get back to sort out. Everything is going alright except my uncle made me cry because my mother lost my money and now she is blaming me. Oh good lord what the hell. Yeah so I feel stupid because he made me son angry that I started crying.

I am talking to alan right now and just this boy keeps on getting worse

*~Imperial Shadowess & D*Give me all your hopeless hearts and make me ill*finishing Ucas form wish me luck* says:
I'm going to the shower I will back okay
alan says:
im going pub soon
alan says:
might still be here
*~Imperial Shadowess & D*Give me all your hopeless hearts and make me ill*finishing Ucas form wish me luck* says:
Okay
*~Imperial Shadowess & D*Give me all your hopeless hearts and make me ill*finishing Ucas form wish me luck* says:
going pub by yourself?
alan says:
think of me in shower
alan says:
touching u
*~Imperial Shadowess & D*Give me all your hopeless hearts and make me ill*finishing Ucas form wish me luck* says:

alan says:

*~Imperial Shadowess & D*Give me all your hopeless hearts and make me ill*finishing Ucas form wish me luck* says:
your ideal fnatasy
alan says:
with my bro im going
*~Imperial Shadowess & D*Give me all your hopeless hearts and make me ill*finishing Ucas form wish me luck* says:
aww alan has gone all shy
alan says:
is nice fantasy
alan says:
lol
*~Imperial Shadowess & D*Give me all your hopeless hearts and make me ill*finishing Ucas form wish me luck* says:
Oh okay
*~Imperial Shadowess & D*Give me all your hopeless hearts and make me ill*finishing Ucas form wish me luck* says:

*~Imperial Shadowess & D*Give me all your hopeless hearts and make me ill*finishing Ucas form wish me luck* says:
I guess it is
alan says:
so think it then
alan says:
coriniee
alan says:
pretend its me touching u
alan says:
instaed of u
alan says:
yummy
*~Imperial Shadowess & D*Give me all your hopeless hearts and make me ill*finishing Ucas form wish me luck* says:
*laughs* um I think I prefer my own hands
*~Imperial Shadowess & D*Give me all your hopeless hearts and make me ill*finishing Ucas form wish me luck* says:
have fun at the pub love
alan says:
ill try
alan says:
have fun in shower
alan says:

*~Imperial Shadowess & D*Give me all your hopeless hearts and make me ill*finishing Ucas form wish me luck* says:
I will *laughs*
alan says:
thinks of corin naked in shower
alan says:

alan says:
yummy
*~Imperial Shadowess & D*Give me all your hopeless hearts and make me ill*finishing Ucas form wish me luck* says:
quite a nice sight actually
alan says:
i bet
*~Imperial Shadowess & D*Give me all your hopeless hearts and make me ill*finishing Ucas form wish me luck* says:
if I must say so myself
alan says:
mabe ill see one day
*~Imperial Shadowess & D*Give me all your hopeless hearts and make me ill*finishing Ucas form wish me luck* says:
don't think so
alan says:
i hope
alan says:
lol
alan says:
ill be waiting
alan says:
lol
*~Imperial Shadowess & D*Give me all your hopeless hearts and make me ill*finishing Ucas form wish me luck* says:
anyways I gtg see ya hun
alan says:
k baby
alan says:
chat soon
*~Imperial Shadowess & D*Give me all your hopeless hearts and make me ill*finishing Ucas form wish me luck* says:
Okay


So is anyone feeling where I am coming from that he is getting even worse.

Um right now I am doing my ucas form with problems,need a reference and I am in another country... bad. But I emailed miss weston I hope she gets it. My deadline is the 15th of january.

I just found out that my grandad is about to pass away so I have to get ready possibly to bury another loved one about around the same time my uncle died,which keeps on getting better and better. Hey this grandad may be slightly evil but hey he always wanted me to get involved with my dark side so how can I say anything against burying him maybe he might leave me alone. So it could mean I might be taking a trip to st.lucia.

We have been trying to call my brother for days now and still no answer which is worrying me and my mum today I got an email from sufia saying she had gone to check on my bro and the woman at the hostel says he hasn't been there in days, which means a few things that his court case didn't go well and now he is behind bars (lord forbid) or he escaped the country to get away from this very same court case. Oh I am worried, can't help a sis from worrying can ya.

Okay so I think is the update I can give because I must stop procrastinating and get back to my UCAS form. Oh I will also change my blog template soon and music. To kinda say good bye to 2005 you know. Fucking shitty year that was lol. So Yeah trying to find something cheery if I don't I will stop being lazy and make one.

Okay I am gone people next entry I will probably be showing you pics from the holiday...

I will try to fix you....

Hey guys happy New Year boys and girls and all those in between. I hope you all celebrated New Year in a good manner. Everything did not go as earlier planned, as I was meant to travel to St.Lucia as well for new years and spend it with Chris bringing in the New Year, Probably listening to Bob Marley, Sam cook and some proper St.Lucian soca. But then my mother decided against it and we spent New Year in America. I still brought it in, in style thought, don’t get me wrong. Me and my cousins counted down the year and started playing Bloc Party – Banquet out loud dancing, jumping up and down. Made a few New Year wishes and smiled my ass off a great substitution for the New Year I would have had. We were actually originally if I didn’t go, go and watch the ball drop, but then again we decided better view from our TV screen right lol! Got calls from Chris and David talked online to them both. We all had a funny convo in a shared room it was hilarious .Plus, I talked Jo, who was telling me about how different I look, but in a good way which is cool.

Remember the hit list I was telling you about: 2down and 1 to go. This one was even better than the last one. To tell the person what everyone really thinks of them on new years eve/New years day because of the time difference, well the person didn’t take it too well, but ah well *laughs*

Oh went china town today saw great prezzie material down there. Um D (meaning my cousin D) keeps on trying to force me to buy things as well as my other cousin Karen. Look people if I want to buy something I will tell you.

Just found out that I am getting a Zen Neeon Micro for a late Christmas present from my brother. Did I say how much I love him lol! Plus I called my bro today and he went to church … I know I the apocalypse is coming because that boy graced the doors of church lol. I called my dad too, who started crying down the phone. I know he deserves
This for all the shit he put me through but like me I have a heart who cares too much for the people around me. I felt so bad I wanted to cry I hate when he still has the ability to effect my emotions, to make me feel all sorry from his ass.

Apparently we are going to the Statue of Liberty during the weekend .I don’t know why, but hey I’ll go anyway. Still waiting for my chrismakkah miracle, yes you saw that right chrismakkah. Brought and made by the finess that is Adam Brody. If you have no clue who I am talking about, he is the first person in the guys of drool. Yeah so I lost 50 pounds and I keep seem to find it so I need a miracle…Honestly.

Brought new trainers, which I like I am planning to buy a pair of hells angel boots. America is wicked so far. I get stopped a lot because of my accent and may I just say one thing … the boys up here are so nice. I swa this guy down China town he had long black hair, head band , baggy jeans and a my chemical romance shirt on and her was on a skateboard in the snow and rain. He was so nice, I just had to stop in awe . God damn.

Anyway I’m going to bed now, got shit to do. Love you all and have a happy new yearxxxxx

Oh I have to draw a ninja character. My girl has to be a cross between something out of naruto and sadly enough the winx club, because that’s how my team (the good team) imagined my character, Anarchysfire. So I have to get drawing and erasing. Also mine has to look good since I am kinda a leader so that would mean photoshop too. Damn. So if anyone has got any ideas or any thing feel free to tell me. I’ll post up my chic when she is done love you all….