well today is an alright day nothing really annoying me at the mo, just worried about some of the exams I am taking. Not stressed, which is a quite a surprising, although when it normally comes to exams I am laid back and just take them as I come. I don't know I can't do the whole I'm shutting the world out and be stressing over it, because after the exams and you have the whole waiting period for the results you will wanna kill yourself so after they are done I just let them go. Its the only thing you can do really. Look at me going on like I am the exam expert.
Um we had a Dead or Alive tornament yesterday it was fun and stuff. I had fun for once and I was getting my ass whopped by dwayne because he learnt how to use Ein and was beating up everyone. Of course I had control in the beginnning, because come on its me, me and Kasumi are a team, we just rock together. We had another play around today it was a bit easier 'cause there was no cheating and stuff.
Went to see my dad on sunday too, I was so annoyed that he starting telling his lies to Jasmine too. I was upset stading there and hearing him talking about how he didn't do this and didn't do that! I was so annoyed that he was trying to get to Jasmine trying to get people on his side like he has been trying to get everyone on his side while my mother sits there bruised and battered and while he lives with his nice house and sky tv and telephone, while she lives in a smalll shelter room. I wish people would understand how I feel you know maybe it be just a teeny bit easier on me and have more people to talk to about my situation. I know I have friends with me and that they care for me and stuff but for people just don't get it, I can't be all happy and hunky dory all the time, with the things that happen in my life. I know that's the kind of person I used to be compressing my feelings always being happy, but I can't do that no more its just coming to the surface right now and I don't know how to control it.
I don't wanna fall to pieces
I just wanna sit and stare at you
I don't want a conversation
I just wanna cry infront of you - Avril Lavigne
gotta go now just had an argument with Kaz about myself and stuff and because she's hjad an argument with dwayne and stuff she is taking it out on me its funny how everyone always takes shit out on me my mum dad, brother, Kaz, Ash and Tim. its just great aint it just fucking great I'm wanna leave now, because I'm fed up of being everybody's escape goat when they need to take out they inside frustrations.
_5minutes of calm down time_
Okay I'm sorry for what I said above, very stressed and didn't mean just wrote it because I am not my inner feelings I just have a ting that I can hurt people with my words and stuff. I'm sorry everyone. I'm fucked up why am I so fucked. Oh great Martha's here now which makes it better me and sufia are planning to take off right now. 'cus its like 07 minutes past ten.
Um oh I got a picture of martha number 2 this girl jacks all my shit and then keeps me up until 5 in the morning talking about the same issues she did yesterday night lol! so here the pictures>>>>>>> Pic
see ya guys xxx
No comments:
Post a Comment