Its in my hair, its everywhere

It's all in my hair, its everywhere.

I saw your teardrops
and I heard you crying
You have everything
but you are still lonely
It doesn't have to be this way
Let me show you a better day
hold out your fears
and cast them on me
I just want you to see
I'll be you cloud up in the sky
I'll be your shoulder when you cry
I'll hear your voices when you call me
I am your angel
and when all hope is gone out of here
no matter how far you are or near
it makes no difference who you are
I am your angel - I am you angel - By Celine Dion and R. Kelly


Yesterday, as we all know (cus I must have announced it so many fucking times that I cannot count it) was Kaz's birthday.
She got loads of stuff and was very childish as per usual, 18 in age but 5 in mentality. That was the words of Jo in her
card and they are so true lol. Ah she is gonna kill me for the comment. Oh well I'm use to her slapping me constantly and
when she gets drunk, her strength is even stronger and of course her spit becomes a lot frequent as well lol.

So Kaz turned up to her mum's house in jeans and a hoody and I knew that wouldn't go down good and didn't I tell her before
we left the house that if she wears that her mum is gonna gun her for sure. Did Kaz listen… No (actually does she ever
listen to me … No!) So as soon as she got in front of her mum she was not happy. So we had the task of trying to find Kaz
clothes to wear and her complaining and crying that she didn't look nice when she looked better than me. Actually she always
looks better than me whether she is making an effort or not.

So we finally get her in green poncho now we had to get her to stay in black trousers. and that was a task and a half.
So after much crying and winging from Kaz in the toilet she finally emerged looking pretty good in NORMAL clothes.
Actually I don't always wear normal clothes…wait normal….cordie I don't understand this word you speak of.

I still kinda wasn't talking to Asher and like I did tell him before hand I wasn't going to be socialble, he tried
to grab my phone off me when I was sitting on the sofa because I was on msn messenger through my phone (that's only because
I really wasn't in the mood to talk to him to his face and sheer boredom) and he was chatting to me. Its funny how
he only bothers to
talk to me first on msn when I'm right next door. well anyway, getting back to the story at hand. I was not playing
I was gonna hit him really hard. My voice went all serious and he let go. Ha.

So we went to eat and I was comfortable sitting where I was, I didn't mind being opposite Kaz's mum and next to Kaz,
but no… Jo wanted to move from sitting infront of Asher so once again I was sitting in front of him. I swear I was talking
to everyone on the table except for him. I had a nice Americana pizza, which I kind of cleaned the plate ( all I need are
the ears and I can be considered as a pig I have been eating way to much lately). So there is taking of pictures going on.
I must look ugly in all of them, because I am just generally ugly.

So we go next door to Ivory Arch to a reggae revival, can anyone say how empty it was and to my embarrassment
(well not really because its countries music), only because of my mother, I knew every song. [shakes head].
So Kaz's mum was dancing, she looked good doing it too, she actually looked like my mum when she is dancing,
but normally my mum would pull me up and make me start dancing with her and then, it will be sickening afterwards
'cus then people (mainly men) start crowding us and start trying to dirty dancing with us, because apparently she
looks like my sister [coughbullshitcough]

I can't remember if by then I was under the influence of alcohol (um JD and coke) but I was all happy and stuff
and in a very forgiving mood and I told asher I was sorry [slaps hand] I know, I have nothing to be sorry for,
which Sufia gladly pointed out to me today. I just had to laugh. I was only slightly tipsy, but I said something
along the lines of "sorry I'm not talking to you, that was an apology try and accept it" or something like that
anyway and he hugged me. Now this morning I wake up and think what the fuck did I do. Some part of me thinks maybe
this would things easier, if I try to civil. Some people ( I wont say who… cus then Kaz will want to kill them)
think I should just leave ash and go back to Chris 'cus apparently I was happier. Uh I dunno. I all confused I just
wish I knew what the hell was going on with that boy and maybe I would be so angry, but no he has to figure this out
by himself. God men get on my nerves in general, maybe I should become a lesbian, I know jay would be happy with me over
that decision. lol.

So After many trips to the toilet with Kaz we decided that it was time to go, and of course I was used as the excuse to
leave like usual. So we started leaving and my 176 bus started coming, d pointed it out the fact the bus stop was all the
way down the road and asked "can you get it" I looked at the bus stop and started legging it. I caught it as well, the bus
stop was far okay not that not, but with how close that bus was to me I didn't think I was gonna catch it. lol! I nearly
fell asleep on the bus. It was really bad I woke up and luckily I was a stop before mine.

So overall the day was okay, minus a few little kinks in the day, well big kinks, with the terrorist attacks around London,
where there was bombings going on. In different stations and buses being blown up. People were so afraid to travel and
stuff. I was a bit I must admit to the fact that my bus comes from central London, which was a danger zone but my
condolences to the families that lost loved ones yesterday. O7/07 will now always be remembered.

Okay I'm gonna have a new countdown clock thingy, why you ask… to countdown my b-day I have been somewhat waiting to turn
18 but I can't wait, I really can't, even if I aint doing anything for it, I wanna feel be as old as I act lol! well
sometimes I don't but you get my point. Because of the issues of my household it drove to me to grow up faster than I was
supposed to. So people always say to me when they first meet me I act older than I am, but look younger than I am too.
Confusing, [shrugs] its people's opinion not mine.


So I think I'm done for today I'm gonna put two songs at this entry both to do with different people.
They will probably guess who they are but they just so remind me of these people. Plus, one of these
people sang the second one to me down the phone I had to laugh.

Its impossible
To love you
if you don't let me know what you're feeling
its impossible
for me to give you what you need
if you always
hide it from me
I don't wanna hurt you
I just wanna make it right
boy I'm sick and tired
of trying to read your mind
its impossible
oh baby its impossible for me to love you
this way
it's impossible
Oh its impossible
if your making it this way
impossible to make it easy
if you always try to make it so damn hard
How can I? how can I?
give you all my love baby
if you always putting up your own guard
this is not a circus
don't you play me for a clown
how can emotions keep on going up and down
oh baby its impossible
this way
oh its impossible
if you keep treating me this way
Oh baby its impossible if you're making it this way
-Christina Aguilera - Impossible


Baby you're not the only one
I see the things he does to you
all the pain that he puts you through
and I see what's really going on
staying out at ngiht while you're by the phone
take it from me
it's a lesson to be learnt
even the good guys get burnt
take it from me
see I will give you love
the kind of love that you only dreamed of
Baby you're not the only one
you don't have to be afraid to fall in love
I know you have hurt in the past
but if you want it here's my heart
no strings attached
he doesn't give you
the kind of attention
that a girl like you needs
he always looks around
he has fun around
he doesn't see you like I see yeah
Bridge
Chorus
if you take a chance with me
I'll be everything you need
because its our destiny oh
Chorus
-*Nysnc - No strings attached