Greetings and Prezzerz

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Creamy (Corrie) asked me to post this she can't get access where she is. Alex.

barney the gansta

sorry I just had to post this because I thought it was so fucking funny. I've been bending up for hours ecspecially when it first starts

Barney is Gangsta!

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Black Diamond.

I' ve always wished to have a normal life
but never have
I wished to have parents who could take care of me
be there for me
understand me
But I never did.
I wish I could live alone
but I am bound to my mother
I never can.

This is kinda strange to write but I am worried. Stuff is happening that is out of my control.
I told my brother something I shouldn't and before I know it my dad will know and that will cause more problems for my mum. Apparently, by the words of god I will suffer if I do not come to church soon according to the Amos chapter 5.
It talks about mourning, like death. I dunno, I am just worried. I know I don't really believe all of this is happening, and ecspecially to me but it is. So I can't help worrying. Its just something in me, that i know something bigger is to come. I feel a war brewing on the Kaz and dwaine front and another war between my mum and my dad and guess what, now that my brotehr knows a piece of sensitive information I am not surprised that he will deliver it into the hands of my dad.

Oh god I am confused ... serious, no joke now. I am actually considering church.but, why me? Can't I just get a rest without drama. But no I'm sorry this is corinne natalie hunt of course I don't deserve a break. I wanna cry, I want to run away. I just want to hide is that so much to ask. Everything seems to be going wrong.
Minus uni. Uni is the one thing I feel happy about, I mean my friends there are kick ass cool. Specially Fiona, Ozzie,Ryan, Aj, Toks, Adealson, Tabo, sandra, Treasure, Simmran and boal. But I am so afriad about failure this year, more than any year of college or even more than my gcse's... my gcse's I was kaking myself. But the experience has been so fun.

See I have even started talking like these are my last days, maybe they are.. I dunno. I am just a confused bundle of mess, I will never understand why my dad just cannot let this go. Get a new woman for fuck sake, then go and beat her the fuck around. Slowly but surely you will forget my mum and move on to greener beating up wife like pastures.

Me and Alex are kinda starting to get back on track, I dunno how that is gonna go, but with all my luck, I am not surprised if something bad happens to the two of us. Already feeling the strain of everyone acusing me of something or another. To my mother I am a devil child, to Alex I am a liar, cheater and apparently now a whore,to my dad I have always been a whore (what is with people calling virgins whore, fucking hell get the facts straight) to Kaz I am probably being a bitch (with the whole I don't tell her I am angry with her I wait for a while, let the steam build up and blow. Plus, the me not trusting her with my stuff thing, I am not backing down with that one, I have seen to much of my shit get destroyed because of my TRUST),My brother of all people calling me a shit stirrer, if there was anyone who could stir shit successfully it would have to be him. I just feel like the world is on top of my shoulders and I really cannot take the strain any more. I am going snap just very everyone's info.

I feel like I am going crazy, that these past few months has just not been happening, because if they have this shit sucks.

I am still engaged (yey) me and my boyfriend are thinking of spending some quality time in a hotel somewhere up west (hey don't look at me like that I did ask for something cheaper, but he wants it to be special) right now any cherry popping is just out of the question. Even though it is the cure of stress related problems, just not now, not this month and definitely not this year.

People also lying about me, saying I am having secret relationships as well has fucked me up.

God I am being too open again.

No wonder some people call me emo, I get all worked up and stressed out and then I write one of these and its like... what the hell? Is she just so emo or what? I mean except for stupid white chicks, who would willing call themselves an emo... do you realise that you are cussing yourself. I over heard boys talking the other day to a bunch of american metalhead girls saying that they are emo and these girls started laughing, because it is just shameful.
I mean their music is good, yey for the used, hawthorne heights, My Chemical romance and sometimes bullet for my valentine.

I feel like a am trapped, like I have no way to turn, except the way that my mum wants me to turn, because she is blackmailing me practically to become a complete and utter devoted christian.

I have too many assignments to do, so much that they are running out of places to come out from and now are pushing their way through my ass. Plus it is like 02:07 in the morning and my first lecture is at fucking 8:00.. can someone, anyone... tie a noose around this neck and save me from this shit please...
*innocent voice* or at least take me on holiday. *laughs*
A war is about to take place between Kaz and dwaine, 'cept for I have a friend on the opposite side, which i actually think is not talking to me now for this reason. I dunno maybe I am just imagining it , but he has been acting super weird like avoiding me recently. Sent txt's no reply, talked to him online, no reply, left a message on myspace, still no fucking reply... so I give up. The last time I even bumped into me he wasn't even as pally as he used to be. He's totally changed with me, which is kinda scary. I actually feel like a stalker, which adds to his long collection, but I just wanna know if he is talking to me or not. Okay yes I know what you are thinking all sources point to a hell he definitely not talking to you, but I don't know why all of a sudden he would just do that... I would at least have thought that i would have had to do something wrong to cause that.

*SCREAMS* URRRRGGGH. CAN IT JUST ALL FINISH ALREADY.. ALL OF IT. PLEASE. THAT WOULD BE NICE GOD. THANX

SANTA THAT IS WHAT I WANT FOR CHRISTMAS:

for my mum to shut up, her rants at me about christianity is just annoying me

for my father to get a life and stop trying to screw up mine

for my brother to take his head out of his ass and see the godamn light, because he may be in middlesex prison, but even from afar he is pissing me off.

for Kaz and dwaine to stop fighting already. This is getting old, tierd and frankily a bit stale.

for god to stop having me be "special" dont ask.

for all my friends I miss ... scottie (my husband who I haven't seen in ages) Mark (Marky mark the pussy shark) to just come back and be around more often. Them two always knew how to put a smile on my face.

for people to stop annoying me so easily, and can uni stop being so stressful. I mean for fuck sake I like challenges but this is a fucking 90 degree's mountain I am climbing.

God if this week I don't go on a drinking spree, it must be a fucking miracle. That's the only time I drink now. When I haveproblems eating away at me.

Anyways guys see ya later. need mahusive hugs from Alex and David. Since I haven't seen them two in a while. EXCEPT FOR THE MONDAY I CHOOSE TO FORGET. plus, they aint talking anymore. I knew it wouldn't last *sighs*

Need hotel fun *winks at alex* see ya lot later x

Update in bulletpoints. aint got time to write full lengths of crap.

- Still engaged although there have been some problems... some problems is an understatement.

+ I did actually manage to get my coursework in due to a little protest outside of my lecturers office. *laughs* I love my uni friends.

- I am buried and when I mean buried I mean, can't breathe, keeps me awake at night tossing and turning, having dreams of books chasing me buried. Under assignments, plus I have a time constrained assignment sometimes this week. DAMN BUSINESS. PPD and quantative Methods portfolios to give in. *cries*

- I keep on getting sick for no reason at all.

+ Uni sponsered pub crawls are the most funniest fucking thing you could ever attend

-+ I have a stalker, although he is quite a cool friend, he is very very much after me. Have I suddenly become some goddess that everyone is suddenly having feelings for me. I feel like Kaz, she has half of the male population attracted to her.

+ uni friends are planning another pub crawl *w00ts* spending more uni money wahhhey

- I kinda went mad on my student loan and I only have a hundred left from 1,600.

- I gotta move house again, fucking father won't leave us the fuck alone.

- I need to clothes.

- My mp3 player two weeks ago mysteriously stopped working. Fucking piece of sh-- *bangs the fuck out of it* umm that actually sounds a bit wrong.

+ I got drunk this week, I have done that in ages. eventhough it is still boring to me. but when I am drunk I can't help but be funnier than usual.

- My watch broke, my gorge watch, well technically Kaz broke it.

+ can't wait until I see dee. lol

I failed my assignment because of this fucked up shit

I HATE STUPID UNFACILITATED LIBRARIES

I HATE WOMEN WHO DON'T KNOW FUCK ABOUT COMPUTERS

I HATE FLOPPY DISKS

I HATE THAT SHOP MAPLIN

I HATE MY LUCK

I HATE MYSELF NOW, JUST WHEN I SPENT SO MUCH TIME LOVING MYSELF.

I HATE NEW STAFF IN LIBRARIES

I AM STARTING TO HATE AMANDA STAPLES

WORKING IN ORGANISATIONS SUCKS ASS

I HATE GREENWICH NOT WORKING SYSTEM.

I HATE ASSIGNMENTS

GOD DAMN IT TODAY I EVEN HATE YOUR MUM I DON'T KNOW WHY BUT I JUST DO OKAY........

UNI WAS GREAT UNTIL TODAY.

I WANNA DIE TODAY.

GIVE ME A FUCKING KNIFE AND I SWEAR TO GOD I WOULD PLUNGE IT THROUGH MY HEART.

EVERYTHING I'VE WORKED FOR GONE.

MY LUCK, MY GOD DMAN LUCK

*Bollocks chants* Inme comeback you were fucking great.

Okay, day after InME and I am wrecked. I mean nearly every inch of my body aches completely. I can't even move my neck properly because I was headbanging
sooooo hard, my arms hurt because they were in the air most of the time.The whole day was sooo great I would post up pictures and videos I took, most of them are either blurry because I had a live moshpit around me and the video clips sound like Bdjfojhgajdgal;dgapdofjg;dofjgldfigklg. Basically like shit. But least I still have the memories. Kaz who like usual just had to get drunk before we I met up with her. She kinda sobered up when we got into the que to go in. Where we met Alan who has the cutest baby mohican ever its so cute. When we actually got in we saw the shirts. I went past the brigade shirts and I just had to get one. Not to mention a signed poster, which is slightly wrecked because I squished it into my back pocket. So Alan, who grabbed a bench because he wasn't going into the mosh pit that was dead, I mean death for a day were playing. These people were going on like they weren't giving them enough energy,they were claping ever so often but that was it.
They were great I wanted to get a shirt of theirs, a brigade shirt and punisher jumper, but you will know why I couldn't after.

Anyway, me pranching around, getting water for Alan, myself and Kaz and people looking at me kinda wierd. I mean I am use to it. Lol. I love it when I go with Alex, these girls are giving me dirty looks.I love it.

So anyway, Death for a Day, finished their set and may I say it was good but I was making fucking sure, I was near the front for Brigade, YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND I HAVE A NEWLY FOUND FASCINATION FOR THEM.

I went into the crowd and me and Kaz pushed our way near to the front, which was good. Will came on looking as fucking sexy as ever *waves hands infront of face* and Naoto came out with a brigade poster cellotaped together around his head lol. I swear me and this other guy was the only ones who knew who they were. We were singing everything,everyword. lol.I swear everyone around me was looking at me for some indication of when to start jumping and stuff, because when I stopped jumping the people around me went dead, I can now actually say I single handedly livend up a pit lol. Some two guys were saying "lets stop the brigade shit and bring on Inme" lol and then will came out with "do you really think inme are gonna come out now... it is like quater to 9 so everyone do you wanna hear these to guys talk or do you wanna hear us play". Crowd started screaming their heads off. everytime it went a little quiet I had to say "will you are so fucking hottt" lol! Someone also blew up a condom and everyone was using it as a ballon chucking it around the place. I think their last song was Null and void, I started screaming (one of my favourite songs) the drum bit I was proper doing the fisting in the air, cause I knew. I was so proud to actually know their songs lol. (sad bitch)

So after that Brigade finished their set with Will posing all over the place for pictures lol. I went to go in and find Alan, so he could find us for inme, I know their was a chance of me not getting back to Kaz
but I risked it, cus Kaz was pretty much near the front.Lets just say this when inme came out I was with Alan and Kaz was lost in the people, specially rude people. Oh by this point I had already knocked a skinny white girl out. Well I met another black girl, who was already drunk and basically she pushed me into the crowd of people to try and get back to Kaz and apparently I elbowed this girl in the temple. lol. I think its because this little emo bitch, has never been to a gig before and doesn't know the principle of getting water, plus she looked liek she hadn't eaten in a while lol. So her friends start on me instead of the black girl pushing me. I was like look, she pushed me, she knocked me into her, so basically chill take your friend to get water. She was like but we are going to miss inme, well fine have you friend collapse more and die from being trampled on and I went back to Alan.

So me and Alan, was screaming like mad at INME well I was.When they first came on teh music from the marvel comic (should I say anime) The punisher came on and then they kinda mixed into underdose that was so crazy. I didn't know that Dave has alopecia, that's why all of his pictures he is bald suddenly. He did say though " come on make some noise so we can get this shit out of my brain"
they played a few songs underdose, the place went crazy and faster the chase, so you know. Then all of a sudden dave said "well people that the end unless if I can hear you shout bollocks all the way from the changing room" and he walked off stage. lol the funniest thing is ther crowd errupted in bollocks chants and there was no appearance.
Until people started givng up where I made a joke to Kaz saying its next morning INME have gone and we are all here still chanting bollocks. So they came out and wowed us with another bunch of great hits thrown at us plus, when white butterfly was sung,lighters started appearing everywhere.
During the performance of twilight, Dave swicthed the tune from twilight to Acdc's back in black it was sooooooo fucking great.

To end it all with chamber, the whole place erupted in people singing. People were crowd surfing to chamber, have you heard how slow that song is. There also was this woman infront of us who was salsa dancing to so you know. I was like what the hell. Kaz was like did she think she came to a salsa club lol.

It was perfect, Alan who was harrasing me all night (lexi calm down it was nothing)
Um... he was just tryng to touch me ass alot and biting me for some reason. Me as well as Kaz.

So the gig was done, I sweating like I had just jumped in a bath. Plus me Kaz and Alan did kinda have a water fight. Alan had water going down his leather trousers *laughs* Went to the cloakroom and Kaz kept on bugging me about buying her a shirt so I had to sacrifice buying my punisher jumper *cries*
Got one inme shirt that makes 'em look like south park lol a girlie inme top and a brigade shirt.but while we were there Will from brigade was like two inches from me (OKAY NOT TWO INCHES) but he was close enough. Wanted to ask him for a pic, I was too shy and apparently Dave was around the corner.
So anyone who didn't go I can tell you something, you guys fucking missed out. Best gig of my life. lol.

Gig: wicked
Bands: GREEEEEAAAATTTT
Kaz and I: Allll rocked outttt.

x x x x x

- Feed my immune system to the sharks -

Okay hey guys... just writing in my blog because once again I am t home and I am sick. I hate being sick, but the thing that is making it worse is that, I have already paid to go and see inme and I feel I might be way to sick to go. I got a pounding headache, my throat feels all scratchy and the back of my eyes are hurting from any sunlight, which is also bad because as I am typing I am looking at a bright screen.

The initial plan of the inme gig was to go to the gig, where I get to first of all swoon at how hot all the members from brigade are lol, then hopefully enjoy the gig, leave, get some food and then drinking fest. I'm not up for the drinking thing these days. I mean it gets boring, yes you get the same fucked feeling over and over and over again, bit bored of it to be honest. But, the people around seem not to be, because all they do, do is drink. I have uni and stuff and I guess sometimes they think I am being uptight and superior (which I am not) I just find drinking till I wanna puke really dull. The thing I also hate th emost is when kids start doing it, like its some whole new fucking discovery lol, they start like "corinne please tell me you drink" to which I say "yes, I started drinking while you were still playing with your fucking barbies, and I'm bored"

Awww my gland feel like shit, I feel like shit. Kaz is saying that I must come on wednesday and that I must drink. Sometimes I swear she doesn't hear me when I talk. I AM SICK, THE LAST THING ON MY BRAIN IS ALCOHOL. I have a PPD assignment to complete, I mean I've started it, but I haven't organized it on pages into a presentation nothing. I feel ill to type talk or anything.

One good thing though I got my watch from Hong Kong on ebay, which I won *does a . dance* oh yeaaaaahhhhhhh, plus alex sent me my engagement ring in the post. Kaz said ph that must be some cheap ring, but I don't care I know it comes from his heart so to hell with what everyone thinks lol.

I wanna be well and not sick, sick is bad. Look I have even started with the crazy talk, flying elephants, ghetto pigs, guy starting at the edge of my bed holding up cheese.

Oh yeah guys I'm starting to try anbd make templates again, I've been neglecting getting money off people for a while lol! but Now yeah *kkkkeeerrrrrrchhhhiiinnnnngggg* its money time. Alex Hopefully should be coming down on saturday he has been coming down alot more recently. I think he is home sick. *gives Lex a hug*

Anyway the light from the lappie is killing me gonna go and try and rest now. Got to make myself well I just gotta.I only have by the end of tomorrow to do so. Anyway guys cya.... and always remember the guy with the cheese at the end of your bed, he will come while you are ill and not of full health. HE WILLLLLLL.

Ha apparently what my birthday says about me. I must admit most of it is true, just some part really aren't.

What does your birth month reveal about you?
July Fun to be with. Secretive. Difficult to fathom and to be understood.Quiet unless excited or tensed. Takes pride in oneself. Has reputation. Easily consoled. Honest. Concerned about people's feelings. Tactful. Friendly. Approachable. Emotional temperamental and unpredictable. Moody and easily hurt. Witty and sparkly. Not revengeful. Forgiving but never forgets.Dislikes nonsensical and unnecessary things. Guides others physically and mentally. Sensitive and forms impressions carefully. Caring and loving. Treats others equally. Strong sense of sympathy. Wary and sharp. Judges people through observations. Hardworking. No difficulties in studyin
Take The Quiz Now!	Quizzes by myYearbook.com

*w00ts* grant spending time. *uses the hurricane helms old phrase* Stand back there is a hurricane coming through. (I think that's it anyway)

Hey Guys, My week has been good. I have just moved house very tiering, packing carring, sorting and then masking everything look perfect again. I have just finished My Law Lecture and I am bloody knackered aint got no more time for a social life (not that I had much of one anyway) and I just found out I have some fucked up PPD assignment. *screams*. It's a new thing that all uni's over the country have bought in, that every student has to pass PPD or you can't continue your degree. So anyone who have finished your first year without this easy but bullshitty lesson *fingers up to you* . You have to do three things you have never done before,that will make you gain some experiance.It has to be three thigns that you have never done before. I am going to lie on one though (WHAT THEY CAN'T PROVE IT) that I have never been to a gig before. *laughs* I went to all-american rejects last friday *pisses self laughing* raise money for charity (probably breast cancer, I always come up with good ideas for that and play a gig I have always wanted to do that so yeah watch out Pre-eminent will be performing near you.)

I got my student Loan and my baby just went back to scotland today *cries* I miss him so bad when he goes away. He was actually showing me his uni books, they have my name scribbled everywhere and I MEAN everywhere. He can't help doodling my name apparently. Everyone keeps as him who the fuck is corinne, plus he gets angry when people ponounce my name wrong. *laughs* which many do.

I got my ride on the back of motorbike yesterday. Looked so cool riding on the back of Shauns motorbike. We were on our way to meet Alex. So hot and so fucking fun. At one point I screamed out loud.Actually we both did. I can't believe Lei and Shaun broke up that was so sad to hear.

Went to All-American Rejects gig. Let me tell you something they were on fire, I mean I had such a good time and the crowd was lively they were lively. It was all over too quickly. Little did I know that not only were we there, there whole bunch of people I hung around in college were there too. It was sooooooo fun, my surprise birthday party. Yeah I know what you are thinking, corinne your birthday was in July, yes I know, but he made sure all our friends had a ticket and we all got successfully drunk afterwards. I dragged alex home where he was so drunk he started swearing infront of my christian mother lol. But somehow she still likes him.

Well I am gonna go off and buy my laptop and other tidbits and books that fantastical things have 7 to buy arrrgggghhhhhh damn money consumer lol!

Cordie's bitches F.C/ Don't say write anything it never ends well *laughs*

Heyyyyyy everyone, been mucho busy. Uni is taking up most of my time really, but I am enjoying every bit of it. Okay so everypne there is either ghetto, chav, bitchy asians or just can't speak the english language, but I have people who are really nice 'round me and that's all that matters.

Ryan, tuks, Fiona and ozzy are the names of the people that I spend most of my time with recently. So if I Mention their names you will now know who the hell they are.


I got All American Rajects this friday and plus I have the whole week with Lexi, because him and David came down. Which, always always always makes me little teenie cordie a very happy bunny. bunny Wuvving.

Cordie's bitches F.C will be starting soon I will sell top to people who wanna be in my football squad or better yet my appreciation squad lol! just kidding.

Anyway I have business and Law work to do, plus PPD forms to fill in. Another thing can the student loan people get their act together. I want my new laptop and godamit I want it nowwwwwwww!!!

see ya later people x x x x x x
was in myspace rock room and we started having these funny convos about emos
Shattered by broken dreams (Name whore): Sorry wrong room love
Shattered by broken dreams (Name whore): i think you want
*~Anarchy's Angel~*: *guns out people*
Shattered by broken dreams (Name whore): wrist cutters 101
Shattered by broken dreams (Name whore): it's over there
Shattered by broken dreams (Name whore): i think it's called emo
Count Varg: lol
keely: HAY IM NOT A WRIST CUTTER
*~Anarchy's Angel~*: lol
Count Varg: lol
keely: not funny

and the classic taking the piss out of the song by hawthorne heights ohio is for lover came this very funny title:

*~Anarchy's Angel~*: Vagina is for lovers
oOTh RoTTER joined the room
~ * Nixzy * ~: XD
Death To Jesus (Justin): PMSL
emma: lol angel
:`~Waffles~`:: lol
Count Varg: Hahaha
Rev. J.Jones: cock is for lovers
keely: doesn't have the smae affect as angel's did
:`~Waffles~`:: yeah sorry
:`~Waffles~`::HAHA

Dead ir Alive movie is gonna kick ass

I saw the advert for the movie today and I just had to get th etrailer up her on my blog and the jokey trailer is below its only jokey because of what happens at the end. I love kasumi but she aint really hot in this film and hayabusa and Hayate look ugly I wanted them to be hotttt *cries* Kevin nash is playing Bass *laughs*

I'll remember You / Landing in London

It's daybreak
And you are asleep
I can hear you breathe now
Your breath is deep

But before I go
I look at you one last time
I can hear a heartbeat
Is it yours or is it mine?

I look at your lips
I know how soft they can be
Did they know what they wanted
The times they kissed me?

And your hands
I held in mine
Now they're reposing on the pillow
Will they ever miss me sometime?

I'll remember you
You will be there in my heart
I'll remember you
That is all that I can do
And I'll remember

Your eyes
That always make me shiver
Now they are closed
They just sometimes twitch a little
And your body
I could hold for an hour
It sent me to heaven
With it's heat and power

I'll remember you
You will be there in my heart
I'll remember you
That' i all that I can do
And I'll remember

- sophie Zelmani - I'll remember you

Landing in London

I woke up today in London
As the plane was touching down
And all I could think about was Monday
Maybe I’d be back round
If this keeps me away much longer
I don’t know what I would do
You've got to understand it’s a hard life
That I’m going through

And when the night falls in around me
And I don’t think I’ll make it through
I'll use your light to guide the way
Cause all I think about is you

L.A. is getting kind of crazy
And New York is getting kind of cold
I keep my head from getting lazy
I just can’t wait to get back home

And all these days I spend away
I'll make up for this I swear
I need your love to hold me up
When it’s all to much to bear

And when the night falls in around me
And I don’t think I’ll make it through
I'll use your light to guide the way
Cause all I think about is you

woah
woah

And all these days I spend away
I'll make up for this I swear
I need your love to hold me up
When it’s all to much to bear

And when the night falls in around me
And I don’t think I’ll make it through
I'll use your light to guide the way

Cause all I think about is you







I lost a great guy today. I miss you lex *huggles*

I eat A-levels for fucking breakfast/Nothing can compare to when you roll the dice and swear you love is for me.

I was crying over you
I am smiling, I think of you
Where your gardens have no walls
Breathe in the air if you care, you compare, don't say farewell

Nothing can compare
To when you roll the dice and swear your love's for me
Nothing can compare
To when you roll the dice and swear your love's for me
Oooo yeaha yeah yeaha yeah yeaha yeah...

I was crying over you
I am smiling, I think of you
Misty mornings and water falls
Breathe in the air if you care, you compare, don't say farewell

Nothing can compare
To when you roll the dice and swear your love's for me
Nothing can compare
To when you roll the dice and swear your love's for me
Nothing can compare
To when you roll the dice and swear your love's for me
Oooo yeaha yeah yeaha yeah yeaha yeah...

Virtuous sensibility
Escape velocity

Nothing can compare
To when you roll the dice and swear your love's for me
Nothing can compare
To when you roll the dice and swear your love's for me
Nothing can compare
To when you roll the dice and swear your love's for me
Breathe in the air if you care, you compare, don't say farewell

Nothing
- Dice - Finley Quaye

Lol! Hey people just got my A-level reseult back for english Lit and I swear my head spun again, excpet it was spinning while alex was hugging from behind for good luck... So I opened the Letter, there was my grades I checked the back and the started screaming by head off. Alex who still hadn't opened his was like "wwwwwhhhhat did you get???" me still screaming while erin was looking at me wierd but quite happy as I screamed " I got a fucking A OH...MY...GOD" LOL! Alex got an A as well I was so proud of him, although he thinks he only got it because of me which is not true. But Me getting an A in english, me who can barely form a sentence without making a mistake, got an A. So we all decided for a victory drink *smiles* it was great my day has been great I'm so happy, this is everything I wanted and I worked so hard for this. I know it's taken me a long time to get this far, and I am proud that I am finally done witht hat chapter of my life *dances*

______ x_______

Anyway, went to a rock club with Alex and friends from college and tomorrow probably we are going to have a beach party in celebration of our results, but anyway back to the club it was fun had Loads of Metalheads in there Lol! and loads of fucking Emo's that all looked like eachother, I swear they all shop the same place. Anyway we were jumping up and down with all of our friends and then a huge groan came over the crowd when Orson - No Tomorrow came on. I actually like that song, so everyone nearly left the floor and there was me and Alex still dancing to Orson and singing. It was well funny, just having all these people looking at us and smiling. Well they already all looking at me because, you know... I am darker than most of them in there. *laughs* But it was cute 'cus Alex was cupping my face and singing into it very loudly, which was at some point quite distrubing lol! I think it was the drink.

Let’s go to a rave and behave
like we’re tripping simply ’cause
we’re so in love

funny hat
shiny pants
all we need for some romance
go get dolled up and I’ll pick you up

there’s no line for you and me cuz tonight
we’re v.i.p.
I know somebody at the door
I see that twinkle in your eye
you shake your ass and I just die
let’s check our coats
and move out to the floor

when I’m dancing with you
tomorrow doesn’t matter
turn the music up
til the windows start to shatter
cuz you’re the only one who can get me on my feet
and I can’t even dance

look at me
silly me
I’m as happy as could be
I have a girl who thinks I rock
and tomorrow there’s no school
so let’s go drink some more red bull
and not get home til about
6 o clock

when I’m dancing with you
tomorrow doesn’t matter
turn the music up
til the windows start to shatter
cuz you’re the only one who can get me on my feet
and I can’t even dance

everybody here is staring
at the outfit that you’re wearing
love it when they check you out
cover’s only 20 bucks
and even if the dj sucks
it’s time to turn this mother out

when we’re together
when we’re together
there’s no tomorrow
there’s no tomorrow
there’s no one in the world
but you and me
just you and me
you and me

- No Tomorrow - Orson

Oh, I think I may have gig fever later in the year instead of in the summer I think september and October will be my buisiest months. Got All-American Rejects, InMe and the End of Days festival, which me and David are going to. InMe are headlining and I am starting to take a huge liking to Brigade (ecspecially their song queenie) check them out.

David should be coming down on sunday to say goodbye to Alex who leaves on monday *deep breath* Vic called me Yesterday asking me if Alex left yet, he better not plan any unsuspected vists anytime soon, or I will send him back to where he came from. Meant to hanging ouf with fran and Komal on sunday and then go and stay with Alex for the night so I can go I bid him goodbye. K and Fran hav got this wild idea that me and Jay (yes Jasmine) are going out! Umm..... no, Just no. I love you Jay, but definately not like that.

Taught Alex how to slow dance yesterday, although on the night when we went out to the rock club, after the club we closed , we went to some ghetto fied club and I learnt that the boy can WHINE, omg it was so bad he was turning me on (I know you didn't want to know that) but it was, my god *waves hands infront of face*. He made me hook up my mp3 player to his comp and was playing slow tracks from it. But I made sense field - Save yourself play over and over again, 'cus I like that song and Alex likes it too so he didn't mind. Although, I have been annoying Jay with IT ALL WEEKEND. He was learning for the Prom, but I didn't show. He didn't because he wasn't expecting me too. Oh I forgot to mention I won at the prom, I was prom queen. But because I wasn't there they gave it to some chick I really wanna slap. Lex won prince (but I already knew he would).

Instead of going to prom, went out with Kaz and she got me succesfully drunk (which Lex picked up when he called me) I promised him I would stay away from the male variety when I am drunk. There were tons of guys dancing with me and Kaz and getting damn tents in their trousers because of it(eeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeewwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwww). Wasn't nice when gusy were grabbing us and rubbing us up against them *shudders some more* I feel more sorry for Kaz but we wont got into that.But we got free food Yey. Looking good Pays I guess.

Anyway I'm heading out may write a entry on monday, we all know why. Anyway c u Later x x x x x x x x


Turn out the light
Just say goodnight to yourself
May I remind you
When you find you
Are all alone’s when you
You’ve got to be strong
That’s when they call you in the night
He’s got your picture in his mind
He’s got your number on a paper
At his disposal anytime

Is it really true
Could you save yourself
For someone who could love you for you
So many times we just give it away
To someone who
Someone who

You met in a bar
The back of a car
And for a moment
You felt important
But not in your heart
Cuz my self esteem
It’s been low
Go ahead and count,
It’s been lower than low
I know the feeling
Of it stealing life out from under me

Cuz I want to learn
Can you save yourself
For someone who
Could love you for you
So many times we just give it away
To someone who couldn’t even remember your name
Did you save yourself
For someone who loves you for you
And loves me for me
Or give it away
To someone who
Someone who
Can cherish your name

Cuz I want to learn
Did you save yourself
For someone who
Loves you for you
And loves me for me
Give it away
To someone who
Someone who
Cherish you

Cherish you

- Sense Field - Save Yourself

These Arms of mine.

These arms of mine

( Otis Redding )

These arms of mine
They are lonely
Lonely and feeling blue
These arms of mine
They are yearning
Yearning from wanting you
And if you would let them hold you
Oh how grateful I will be

These arms of mine
They are burning
Burning from wanting you
These arms of mine
They are wanting
Wanting to hold you
And if you would let them hold you
Oh how greateful I will be

Come on, come on, baby
Just be my little woman
Just be my lover, oh
I need me somebody
Somebody to treat me right
I need your arms, loving arms
To hold me tight
And I need, I need your
I need your tender lips...

Hey Guys I'm online at Alex's house at the mo.I've been really busy this week and also been having some fun down oxord street (I'll explain later).

Anyway ... what have I been upto? Sorting out stuff for student loan, going to court (I am not even going to bother explaining that one), spending time with Lex, Kinda shitting myself that it is august already and results are just around the corner and other great and wonderul stuff.

Talking more on Alex and I spending more time with each other we decided to go down the westend and to hmv. But when we got to oxford street, I swear to god it looked like camden. All these Emo's, punks, goths and pixies were fucking everywhere. I'm not complaining, but I was a little wierded out when I actually saw they were opening up shops like camden that sell studded bracelets and band tops.
So then Alex decided he would dare me to do this and he would do it in return. Go up to a group of them and say we are doing a research about the most popular bands that people listen to, funny enough all of them co-operated, but the answers we got was so funny.

So we asked a group of girls who is your favourite u.k band.They could have said Lostprophets, brigade,the darkness (eventhough they suck) or even razorlight, but no... one girl came out with Mcfly and they were all like yeah we are going to see them soon. Alex started bursting into laughter so badly, I could see the tears in his eyes. Plus, these girls were dressed all in punk like attire. So then I asked them who is your favourite american act then, they stood their for a while looking a bit stumped and then came out with fall out boy, to which alex was still pissing himself laughing.Then asked 'em "so when did you start listening to them?" "since their first single dance, dance" At this point Me and Alex started Laughing our heads off and the girls thought it was because alex was already being a maniac laughing in the corner that's why I was laughing, but no. It was because that was not Falloutboy's first single or Album. We couldn't continue so I just said thankyou for your time and they walked off and we started creasing up Laughing so bad that our stomachs and cheeks hurt. So we just went around doing it for about an hour or so and then we went into hmv. But it was fun, haven't laughed like that in ages.

Bought fantastic four on dvd and ever since I have I keep on listening to Noots by sum 41, its starting to piss Alex off but he keeps on playing songs from Dirty dancing. No trust me it is strange to have Velvet revolver playing and then all of a sudden Otis Redding - these arms of mine comes on. Horrible mix but I love that song. Yeah a little makeout sesh happened to that song when his cute adorable sister walks into the room, not good.

I might start up the countdown clocks again, because I have some stuff to countdown too.

But Yeah I'm gone, because I have alot to do today so... Later days x x x

Yorkshire air gets me high

Hey people I have got to be very quick because Vic is already moaning that I have been on the computer for half an hour and I am being very antisocial, even though they all know eachother, and share a common bond of pissing on other people's tents at download *laughs* Oh me and my mum eventually left for yorkshire late at night caught the train to manchester then took coach rest of the way, it was okay got little tired afterwards. It was okay when I reached there in the early morning because Vic and David were wait for me at my other aunts house.

Yesterday I got to see my sick aunt, I must admit I did cry they are trying to put her in for surgery but they don't think its going to help much. My mum thought it would be best if I went and hung out with boys and she would stay at the hospital until everyone was ready to go home. So I took the bus back got to vic's and guess who just arrived, sitting on vics couch all smug... Alex. Vic hasn't seen me and Alex together, so he was getting slightly jealous and he was talking to me about it afterwards, I felt bad but he told me not too but I can't help it. We went to towndid a bit of shopping and sat in mcdonalds for three hours talking randomly about shit.

stayed at Vics at tuesday, spent practically half of wednesday in the hosptial and then the rest at vics. Then my mum called me to tell me that we have to go tomoz because my dad is trying to contest the divorce, not good. Anyway... got to go and finish watching V for vendetta. Eventhough I have watched it before they keep on pausing it when I go to the toilet and I'm like watch the goddamn film. lol!

Didn't have much time to do shopping, but I might be coming back down here again next week.

Vic also tried to get me and Alex to break up while we were there for the sole fact that he could try and swoop in. Plus, because he said there is no point of carrying on a relationship that will have to end come the 21st of august (day alex leaves). I don't care, I'll face that day when it comes, but until then I'm happy, he's happy and that's how it is going to stay.

Anyway love ya loads xxxx

My birthday......Yeay I'm nineteen.

Hey people *screams* Its my birthday, its my birthday. I am now nineteen *does a little dance* Um I was actually was meant to be traveling to Yorkshire today, but because of complications of living space and yada yada yada I will have to go next week. I don't mind David and Vic will be there and Alex might pass by there on his way back from Scotland. Before he left though he thought he would surprise me. At 8 in the morning, I heard a knock at the door. My mum who wasn't in for some odd reason, when were meant to be catch our coach at 11 was quite worrying. So he turned up with a big bag and he would only give me what I he had if I walked outside with him. That meant me going out in my pj's and a vest top. So we went the park (that was after much bugging by the way) lol! We get the park and he gives me a teeny weenie little card. Then he handed over the bag. Inside the bag I found. £20 whs gift vouchers, which had an instruction for using them for uni, A ticket to see the All American Rejects with him, a pair of fairy earrings, a teddy and fairy lights which I think he bought because he knows I am moving) He spent so much money on me, I was like hugging him and kind of jumping up and down because I am going to see The All American Rejects again, but in full this time. Awww such a sweetie, seeing him first thing in the morning and on my birthday really did cheer me up. He just kept on singing happy birthday to me until I told him shut the hell up. He loves pissing me off, because apparently there is a face I pull that makes him laugh. Walked me back to my house and I kissed him off because he was leaving for scotland today for a week, because of job interviews.He handed me 25 pounds and as soon as he handed it over I knew what it was for... No not a years worth of condoms...But the rest of the money to buy my mp3 player, because I was a bit short *huggles*. I get undivided attention when he gets back, not that I asked for it, but then again I aint going to complain about it either lol!
Then we found out our aunt couldn't put us up for the week, so then we couldn't go. My mum arranged a little thing between her church friends and we went nandos and cinema to watch the break up (which was actually alright) and then went to church. I got presents of a bag, Money, deposit on my electric guitar which I will show you a pic of eventually, Bed sheets (because I am moving), teddy, money, clothes, underwear ( yeah that one was a bit odd to me too) and a new jacket. More presents to come when I grace Yorkshire arrggggghhhh!

Today was actually fun, I loved every bit of it. Blessed although is very mean and very annoying, kept on picking on me and annoying me to the point where I would violently smash his head into the banister that was separating us while he was teasing me, then set his body alight... burn baby burn.

Oh plus, yesterday me and my friends are thinking of doing a kind of dress up as a anime character, but change something about them. I decided that I was going to be the black Chung li. The white Chung li used her hand and her feet. Mine uses crowbars and cricket bats. People have already being saying to me on msn, that my hair really does look like hers, but then again some people are saying I look like the black version of Sailor moon *LAUGHS*.When we finish making the page you will know because there will be a link in the left hand navigation.

Thinking of changing my template, it will hopefully have the same layout just a different feel. The fallen angel thing is getting a bit tired now.

Anyway I'm heading off see ya later x x x x x x x x x

Happy Bday Blog *huggles* You have served me well.

Happy birthday to you, Happy birthday to you, Happy birthday to my blog, Happy birthday to you. *w00ts* you are two years old *claps* well what can I say its been an up and down rollercoaster ride, but I am finally happy and I think without my online friends reading my blog sending me emails and messages via my tagger and other stuff I wouldn't have been able to laugh over everything that has happened. Thank you guys.

Well it is now my bday in 2 days now arrrggghhh *screams* I am getting old. Although my bday is not going to be fun because I will be spending six hours of it on my way to yorkshire. I don't know i you guys if you remember, but last year I basically went over to yorkshire to watch one of my aunts die of breast cancer. This time it is another aunt, that's why I think so strongly about breast cancer and stuff because I have to watch the women around me die one by one to it. Then, I have to remind mysel that might be me in a few years.I don't want that to be the case, but it might be. Upside to all of this, david and possibly alex if he can srounge enough money will be meeting me in yorkshire to stay at Vic's.Sheep-a-doo has the house all to himself so this should be excellent.

I got my student loan assessed and I AM GOING TO GET PAIIIIIIIIID come september.

We were all counting how long we have been with our boyfriends yesterday, yes I know very sad... but I realised 9 months me and alex, my god time fly's. God it only feels like a month ago when he was running against me for president of college and was defacing all my posters. *laughs* he hangs his head in shame everytime I mention it. He also stole one and put it up in his room, I thought he was lying until I went to his room.We have had a rough patch of recent, because of something I did while I was drunk, but he forgave me because he knows I wouldn't have done it if I wasn't. Just think about it another 3 months and it will be a year.

My mum is still trying to force me going to church, watch soon she is going to stop from going out like she did last time. Omg this woman humours me honestly, there is never a dull day when my mother is involved she always gives me somethin to laugh about. The other day she heards right where I belong by three doors down and apparently it sounds satanic *laughs* you have actually go and download that song and report back if it sounds "satanic". Plus, three doors down don't swear, don't talk about cutting peoples heads off ,killing yourself or the random others that people sing (or rather scream about). Everyday I have to put back up my lostprophets poster because she doesn't like the eagle. My god if you don't like it don't snoop in my damn room argggggghhhhhh!

I am also very very honoured that its my blogs bday on the same day that dennis "iceman" bergkamp gave up his carrier playing for Arsenal. No one can deny that he has served us well through the years and never, ever lagged around and like other player from other teams that we know such as beckham, but worked hard for where he is....

I have my prom in august I though it was in july, its a day before we gete our results apparently. So I should be suited and booted, well not technically but you get the point.

This summer I must admit is quieter than last years, but I think that is because there is no azera hovering over me and wishing to contribute in every aspect of my life.

Anyway people I am off to go and buy my mp3 player *smiles its pretty its black and its made by phillips, 6gb. But I won't open it today I wait until my bday.

*waves* bye have a great weekend x x x x x x x x x

Street gigs means showbiz!!!

Hellllllllo everyone. Okay during last week or so I got bored and went on the street gigs website, where you go to gigs for free across the u.k. So I thought why not I would enter. So I did. This week I got a text message saying you're on, on the 20th of July, to see a band named hot chip (I know...who you ask.) Now this gig is in bristol, a coach is taking me and any friend of my choosing there (to which I picked Kaz) except I listened to their stuff on myspace and it sounds pretty crappy, so I don't think I can be bothered to go. But I am always saying I never win anything and here I am winning something, chosen and I don't wanna go. Fucking wierd that. The gig is one day away and I still can't make up my damn mind. I wish it was for the futureheads one of the lostprophets one,(which btw I heard their version of cry me a river, yes by justin timberlake. May I just say they succesfully killed it) but I got this band named fucking hot chip. But it will be on t.v *ponders* so I am going back online and seeing if I can apply to be on the transmission show instead.*laughs*

Um its my bday in 6 days *woots* Stil don't know what I am doing for it. Alex might be away for my bday, which will suck , but I understand what he is going through and I am behind him 100%. The other day we watched the bodyguard, and then sport relief and we did something very generous of us ghetto people and donated 60 quid towards charity. I know.Just the pictures we making me very sad and plus we wanted to see those people run around stark naked. Plus, the other day Alex attempted to at first teach his brother some tricks on the skateboard, and then all of a sudden it turned into a lets teach corinne thing. I had so much fun we all are planning to do it again.

um the weather has been uncomfortable doesn't mean I haven't been walking through the streets of london with little skimpy clothing on because I have. O recent I have been wearing quite girly clothes, it scary.

Oh plus, may be getting a camoflage guitar for my bday I took a pic of this thing but I will have to upload it next entry this thing is beautiful. So I hint as much to my aunt as possible and after a while I think she will... you know... get the hint.

I think that's it. Um its nearly the blogs bday, in three days. awwwwwwwwww that means that this blog will be two years old arrrggggghhhhhhh! two years of me writing this crap.

Anyways I gonna go and think about my little gig dillema.. love ya loadsxxxxx

I'm just gonna keep singing my song.

Hey guys...

Cordelia - "Why does bad things always happen to me?"
Xander - *cough*Karma*cough*

- Buffy ep - Inca Mummy girl.

*laughs* Karma is great, Karma is wicked, Karma is just a fucking wonderul thing. *laughs once more* Okay I am done. Sorry just a random thought there. Plus another thing if people's friends are actually gonna write stuff to me to try and offend me can they at least get their facts straight number 1 and number 2 *laughs* Do they actually think I care? things and shit happened get over it already, lord jesus.

Anyway, um just gonna be a small entry (thankyou god) because I really cannot be bothered to write about my shit that has happened lately. Ah well.

I experianced Italy winning the world cup first hand, it was great actually. I mean,inside I was rooting for France to win because come on Viera,Henry and Zidane. Great Team. Alex took me to his uncle's resturant, where it had been closed for the night and was turned into basically a mini moshpit of Italian supporters. Alex, who was litraly holding his two fingers up against the temple of my head (because he knows who I am supporting inside) and telling me to cheer italy. When they won, okay I was crushed because I really wanted france to win. But; it was a wicked atmosphere.People buying drinks for one another, I was getting kissed on the cheek by randoms,had the italian flag painted on my cheek, it was fun.
Alex for some reason has taken an interest in wanting to come yorkshire with me, I don't mind, actually I think it would be even better if he does come. Vic will be happy with that, since apparently at download Alex,vic and David were so drunk they started going 'round and pissing on other peoples tents and saying it was a present from the piss fairy. God the males in my life are crazy, but I love them *huggles*

Well it was Kaz's bday on friday, she was a bit moody at the beginning but he alcohol cleared that up completely. But during that night lets just say I had my own problems to deal with.

Trying to find a new house, after the incident of our father finding us, wasn't fun and still isn't but we have to move again. I don't mind really starting to like being this nomadic person, quite fun.

Argh plus I am going prom *screams* Don't wanna go, but Alex and I have been nominated if we both win, that would be cool. So yeah I am starting to see the good side of having a second prom.

Anyways I am going to go, have nothing better to do with my time, so off I am going to write another song.Might put it on DA haven't updated in a while. bye x x x

Standing on the rooftops everybody scream you heart out

Hey everybody. Well I have had a good two weeks and now its july and we all know what happens in July. It my blogs bday plus my bday Yey! But Last Month on the 26th I went to HMV...why? you all ask. Well I met, spoke to, hugged and got album and a single cover signed by Lostprophets. I know, and me and Kaz took a pic with Ian *screams* who to mention had his arm round me *screams again* and then complimented Kaz on her dress, I think it was kind of a sly way of complimenting her on her tits. So of course I took pictures. Shame I didn't take pictures of the crowds it was like a mini mosh pit, with girls crying and all sorts... madness. Plus Kaz kept on screaming out random things like... I love you busted, mcfly, spice girls, Girls aloud. After we met them we got this poster that they were giving away free and it is now up on my wall underneath my signed album cover. >Kaz, Ian and I< >pic< >>signed cd<< >>Signed album...Plus Ian looking hot<<

Alex finally wants to started up a myspace account lol. And he wanted me to take a picture of myself in my supergirl top, because he has a superman top and we showed up at the same time wearing the shirts. It was funny. So here >>>Picture<<<

Its gonna be Kaz's birthday in about let say 5 days and we still trying to plan something for it. We haven't got anything in mind. But since it is on a friday we are going to take advantage of that.

Might be going with the boys, the boys consisting of Vic, David and stephen. Possibly Alex and shaun, but they are a both bit busy right now.

My minds going a little bit crazy, little bit confused too. But I am sorry if what I said offended you, hurt, made you feel betrayed, I do love you, I really do.

Okay so it turns out that all my friends are going prom, so I might as well go and campaign. Ha I aint campaigning, going prom but I aint campaigning.

Oh and by me doing this entry, it could only mean on thing, I got a new memory stick. Planning to get a mp3 player, but that is harder said than done.

Okay well I'm of and stuff. So I am gonna love ya guys and leave ya xxx

Plus: Jay, welcome back home.

"Here's my thinking place. So when I am not here you can use it"

Okay so today alex decides to drag me out of my house at 7 in the morning to go and go to his thinking place. Okay here's me thinking it's close and stuff... He drags me to gatwick airport its a spot where you actually see planes coming over your head to touch down. Its quite cute but is also quite scary for the fact that someone could just lie there and take out their rocket launcher and blow the plane to smitherines *smiles*

But we just sat there, talked, ate and he kept on making very tempting jokes about the travel lodge. But I managed just by a thread to keep my knickers on lol! Plus, why is it nearly every guy I goes out with has bith of these damn artist in his collection Celine Dion *laughs* and Percy Sledge (He is the guy who made the When a man loves a woman if you don't know the song >>>Here<<<). We are just sitting there listening to his Ipod music on speakers and out of nowhere Celine Dion, A new day started blaring out of the speakers. I turned to him and was singing... it was then after I realised... um Mr I love slipnot, guns and roses and Metallica has Celine Dion on his Ipod. I thought it was cute then Percy Sledge, when a man loves a woman came on. Its my parents song, but he just started doing the most cutest thing and started singing it to me. That song always makes me feel sad and I told him why after, but it still made me feel all shy and stuff.He Tried to get me to dance with him, but it just weren't happening.

When a man loves a woman
He can do no wrong
He can never own some other girl
Yes when a man loves a woman
I know exactly how he feels
'Cause baby, baby, baby, you're my world


Aint been doing nothing much... arggh forgot to tell you lot someone norminated me for fucking prom queen, fuck that shite I am not going. Who ever did that I am going to kill them slowly but very surely. Aint got much going on though I go yorkshire very soon and alex goes to scotlan a week to check up and stuff. It makes it harder to think that he is going away. But we made a deal, we will keep on with the distance thing until the distance starts taking its tole. But I don't think it will so much.

anyways gunna go 'cus I am meant to be at Kaz's now... love ya guys loads xxx

MY FRENCH FOR YOUR ENGLISH

You want updates Jay you got them....

First to start with, I kinda broke the memory stick you gave me. I don't know how iut happened. Had a full entry with all the stuff that happened but I have no floppy disk or drive to actually transfer it ... so yeah I am kinda stuck.

Alex and David went to download and they totally got along they had a blast apparently. I was so happy and stuff as soon as they got there they called me up singing " I love you baby" down the phone and they got drunk together they gelled really well. Yey! everyone was wishing that I was in callines place, because she was being a bitch, a complete and utter bitch.

I was worried when we were lining up for our exam and alex and shaun were no where to be seen. Me, Matty and erin were looking at the door every five seconds. As we were going in, there comes Alex on skateboard (Yes he has a tendancy of skating around the college on it) and shaun running and skating their asses off to the line. He just stood there proudly sporting his Download pass thingy and arm band... plus, looking really cute. He came out with a really cheesy movie line too which was "Hey baby miss me". We did the exam huing around with him and david,who is on his way back to manchester right now and then came here.

Um Kaz kicked martha out of her house... I wasn't there so I can't actually say blow for blow what happened. All I know is, Karli got martha's big heafty holdal and took it down to the lampost downstairs , came calmly all the way back up the stairs and said to her "Martha there is your bag....follow it" classic line. To which she was in shock. They have also made her to believe that there is something going on between me and anthony and it didn't help that he started kissing my neck and whining with me. To which she attempted and failed badly... wow. So Anthony has stopped coming upto the house because he has a desperate fear of bumping into her again, after she got him kicked out , for budging past him going to use his toilet and then leaving the toilet to come face to face with his mum , who thought something was going between them.

Chantelle is having this fascination with Jamine even though everybody I mean everybody has got the fact that you know he does not like her, except her. He keeps not picking up her calls, blanking her and so forth and still she keeps calling. Damn I'm sorry to bring colour into but what is it with desperate white girls lol!

Dwaine keeps on pronouncing undying love to Kaz. We one day just sat there laughing hard about it saying how much he cares. TWO WORDS DWAINE FUCK OFF.TWO OTHER WORDS DWAINE MOVE ON.

Its getting closer to tuesday and we really miss jay. We wish she was here and everything. So I can just tell her all this stuff to her face and what not but she aint.

Oh and trinidad and tobago were playing sweden, and omg they were brilliant, wicked I tell ya...

But anyway gotta go love you guys and all that xxxx

There is meaning to the world when you are giving love

Hey everyone well I thought I would do an entry, because I am waiting for Alex to turn up so we can finally go and watch X3 together.
Although I have a strange feeling that we wont actually reach the cinema *smiles* plus we are going pizza hut with everyone in our english class even our three teachers which will be cool. Something that is strangely bugging me though. Alex and david are going to meet up at download and you know sleep in the same tent together, with also Stephen, Devz, Shaun, Lei, Calline. Then the others will share the other tent. I am getting scared for two reasons. David is actually making an effort to know people that I talk to, Plus he is not jumping down the throat of Alex, which is good. But it also puts me on edge because this is definately not him. As everyone knows David is never kind to any of the other males in my life. But he is going to share a tent with Alex. Baby if you are reading this I think David may be sexually attracted to you Lol(Joking) Everyone thinks he has a plan up his sleeve. I dunno what to think.So tommorrow I will get to go to victoria and watch them leave without me to go to download. OH JOY.

I also had to say goodbye to Jay for three weeks gonna be very hard, with the fact that everything is getting a bit hectic around here and I kinda need her harsh sarcastic humour around to kick me up the ass and keep me on my toes. Kaz, chan, Martha and I was there to send her off to the airport at 2 in the morning. We all felt terrible afterwards. So I meant to keep her updated VIA blog.

Um martha... well what can I say she is a brilliant individual. Well I can't say anymore yet but when I get tipped over the edge I started to explode you will know because that's when I start ranting. I've gonna start up the U.H.F.M site again filled with pictures, quotes and all. Humour for me and everyone basically.
Going yorkshire in a few weeks for week (There you go Vic you got your wish) and it is nearly my bday,well not yet since it is next month, but I can't help counting it down. Though it is gonna be kinda strange, this birthday is ... No brother. Yep, I still miss him. I just hope he is okay, he hasn't called me in months, plus its his birthday this month on the 27th.

Well I am fucking boiling today because it just hot outside and I am actually show my arms. I know wow.

Argh Lexi is here so I'm gonna take off. Seeeeeeee yaaaaaaa xx

Oh btw 7 months exactly today since me and Alex have been seeing eachother *smiles* *ghetto voice* Its alllll GUD.

There is meaning to the world when you are giving love

Hey everyone well I thought I would do an entry, because I am waiting for Alex to turn up so we can finally go and watch X3 together.
Although I have a strange feeling that we wont actually reach the cinema *smiles* plus we are going pizza hut with everyone in our english class even our three teachers which will be cool. Something that is strangely bugging me though. Alex and david are going to meet up at download and you know sleep in the same tent together, with also Stephen, Devz, Shaun, Lei, Calline. Then the others will share the other tent. I am getting scared for two reasons. David is actually making an effort to know people that I talk to, Plus he is not jumping down the throat of Alex, which is good. But it also puts me on edge because this is definately not him. As everyone knows David is never kind to any of the other males in my life. But he is going to share a tent with Alex. Baby if you are reading this I think David may be sexually attracted to you Lol(Joking) Everyone thinks he has a plan up his sleeve. I dunno what to think.So tommorrow I will get to go to victoria and watch them leave without me to go to download. OH JOY.

I also had to say goodbye to Jay for three weeks gonna be very hard, with the fact that everything is getting a bit hectic around here and I kinda need her harsh sarcastic humour around to kick me up the ass and keep me on my toes. Kaz, chan, Martha and I was there to send her off to the airport at 2 in the morning. We all felt terrible afterwards. So I meant to keep her updated VIA blog.

Um martha... well what can I say she is a brilliant individual. Well I can't say anymore yet but when I get tipped over the edge I started to explode you will know because that's when I start ranting. I've gonna start up the U.H.F.M site again filled with pictures, quotes and all. Humour for me and everyone basically.
Going yorkshire in a few weeks for week (There you go Vic you got your wish) and it is nearly my bday,well not yet since it is next month, but I can't help counting it down. Though it is gonna be kinda strange, this birthday is ... No brother. Yep, I still miss him. I just hope he is okay, he hasn't called me in months, plus its his birthday this month on the 27th.

Well I am fucking boiling today because it just hot outside and I am actually show my arms. I know wow.

Argh Lexi is here so I'm gonna take off. Seeeeeeee yaaaaaaa xx

Oh btw 7 months exactly today since me and Alex have been seeing eachother *smiles* *ghetto voice* Its alllll GUD.

Te queiro Puta (I want you bitch) so dance dance

Hey guys and girls... I had a wicked time on thursday eventhough it was meant to be the night where I would have been in the cinema watching xmen 3. I went to the fall out boy gig with Alex. fuck it was so fun didn't want the night to end.I met Alex down at college got dressed in converse that I borrowed from my cousin,fishnet tights, lace black skirt,black and red v neck top and had my hair, jokingly emo
headband with bits of purple in it. (we agreed to do our hair different colours, Yeah I know sad)saw alex and I was like *jaw drop* Imagine this yeah, girls: black baggy jeans, black anarchy top, Naruto headband (eventhough I got him into the show, he bought it before me) and wristbands with slight red hair. He looked gorgeous.

we were singing all the way down the road, jumping up and down taking in mind this is still daylight and sunny for once may I add lol!singing different songs by different artists kryptonite by 3 doors down,sweet child o'mine by guns and roses,
basket case greenday,rock and roll queen by Qotsa (which sang to me again at the bustop very loudly),bittersweet symphony by oasis those are the only ones I can remember us singing but there was other random songs.got on the bus and headed towards brixton, listening to his ipod and also singing on the bus. I love his voice it has a growl.Plus play fighting in a cramped space.

"She said she's no good with words but I'm worse"

we get there after some guy tried to ask for my number on the bus and alex wasn't impressed and started having an argument with the guy. Alex was like "do I look invisible to you? can't you see I'm here." and the support act, which was the all american rejects and Hawthorne Heights two good bands were tearing up the stage, me and alex was already screaming like mad. Although alex was too busy trying to get water down my top and attaching his chain to mine so I couldn't move,without pulling him with me.

Everywhere went quiet, so we rushed into the mosh pit and alex gripping on to my hand was like "ooiiiiiiii sorry move" to other people, cracked me up. I mean
the place went dark like pitch black. we got near the front and alex was standing behind me. going into my ear "ooooh haven't met you here before" and "lots and lots of people getting jacked in the dark"and "damn I want you" (I really have to
stop quoting this boy)we started hearing the baseriff to dance dance and the whole place started fucking screaming the place down, the crowd was huge. People were falling over and stuff, people gripping onto me to stay up and alex was swatting them away *smiles*. Plus, jumping so hard.Alex kept on kissing me on my cheek and my neck untold amount of times and once or twice on my lips and having a Hell of time groping me, but what can I say I started it off *wink* Lol!

'fall into bed with me'

It was so funny when the lead singer was like show me some love ya'll everyone was screaming again, someone must have taken off their top and dashed it at the stage then someone dashed their red knickers up towards the stage pissed myself for ages.
and he was like "oooh whoever threw that I will speak to you later" we were singing into people's faces,jumping with other people, proper wrecking eachother My famous emo hair band broke again *sobs*and Alex's headband ended up around his neck.

it all ended too soon. I was sweating like fuck and alex's top was drenched and stuff and his hair was plastard to his forehead and the red was running, hillairious for the fact that he was stating his head was ahving its first period on the street very loudly. He called his friends who he knew were there. Met Danny aka Devz and his girlfriend Lei,rose, Helen and paul.They all had fun and was like to alex we love her about me.Yeay I fitted in. Went to burger king ate. Bought drink and coke
took another bus to streatham and sat in steatham common dancing around and being stupid to the music on Devz phone.It was fucking cold, plus the fact that alex bought water mainly to finish his task of trying to wet my clevage, which he succeded btw,but after that i drenched him head to toe in water*Laughs* that was great. but we had fun...got home at like 3.Me and Alex had an exam next day. We both walked in like the dead had just risen, every fucking inch of our bodies was fucked.
Alex actually has a long scratch on his face and he doesn't know
how it got there.

All my muscle groups hurt and no matter how much Alex massaged my shoulders
and arms, we were both in pain. Jaz was just sitting there, with matty and erin
laughing and talking about us how we were usig the gig to replace violent sex.
*shakes head* yeah I know.

So anyways guys um ... updates
Confirmed I am going to the angels and airwaves gig.
Dave is going lostprophets gig he bought a ticket for stephen, but
he's not sure of going so if he doesn't the ticket is mine *cackles evily*

Charlotte has stopped talking to us because (this is the most funniest reason why)
we didn't want her to get hurt so we told her to stay the night at Kaz's and leave at about 5 in the morning if she really needs to go home.She was wearing the most shortest skirt ever with fishnet tights with rips in it and she wanted to go to her home right thre and then which was in camden,
fucking hell what did she want flashing neon lights saying rape me.
ummm...no so I said to her if she leaves she is intentionally putting
herself in a postiton to get harmed and if it does happen don't come crying
to me, because its your fault to which she replied fuck you corinne
I just laughed. so yeah she is not talking to us.

Neither is sufia, because I danced with her ex man *gasp* eventhough I consider
him as a brother.because I apparently have lost control. Which I am thinking
um... I hardly drink(when I mean hardly drink them lot are ther boozing and acting crazy and there is me sitting at Kaz's computer playing my hacked version of pokemon ruby),Don't smoke, go to college like a goodie two shoes.. okay so I jack stuff here and there(but that comes with the skin colour), but that doesn't make me out of control. eventhough she said all that stuff about me I still told Jasmine about a course that she can do in uni.Sometimes I swearI care too much about people and they don't care a fuck back.

Our group is seriously becoming fucked up. I mean there are people going around
thinking that they are the buffest thing ever to grace the earth *coughcharlottecough*who thinks that is sufia is fat, to me sufia is tiny. char, who could break in half nay second now likes to waste good food with her little eating habits or should I say lack.There are also people, who just in general are pissing people off and then stops talking to them for no reason so ever
*coughsufiacough*

Oh on friday, didn't end up going home. Martha decided to make another
wonderful appearanceand I was late to get my bus again, because Kaz had my phone and I don't really keep track of the time.So I decided to get a bus to camberwell to catch the 176 up to my house. So anyway I got down to the bus stop opposite nandos and some guy starts pissing me off saying how beautiul I am and his friend joins in I was only praying for my bus to come then one of them grabbed me arm and was trying to drag me towards the closed chinese shop.Of course at the part I started pushing and kicking this guy and his friend until they let me go. I ran away from the bus stop took at twelve towards walworth rd I was going to go to my cousins house because I was too scared to even attempt to go home. To face streets that are even more desolate and dark.As I was on the bus, Alex called me from his brothers phone Just to see how I was.I told him what happened and he told me to come to him. So I jumped on a 188 and made my way down to surry keynes Met me at the bus stop and took me to his and him and his brother were watching wrestling *smiles* So we watched wrestling and we all decided to go to bed.

Alex was like um... "I'm trying not to imagine you on bed naked but its not working"
well hun it aint happening was my reply, to which we we standing there just hugging
and his dad walks in (bastard) and asks for a word with Alex outside.
He has an argument with his dad, about me beign there. So alex comes back and was saying that he needed to take a walk.So we walked down near the river and the shops and stuff, just talking about our fathers. He knows everything that entails my dad and I and I know everything about his dad may I juat say our dad's are both fuckers.

we actually fell asleep on the river bench, woke up and it was sunlight at about 5 in the morning.*smiles* everything is finally falling in to place.
Okay well I'm gonna go see ya later x x x

"Oh misery love me"

Okay, this morning I did something that was only hard of me to do. My friends had enough money to pull together and buy one more ticket to go download bought the ticket, it was out of me and Cal to go. They originally gave the ticket to me, then I thought of the time that cal has been having this year and told my friends to give her the ticket, give her a wicked three days. I abandoned myself and gave it to her. Now she is going around to everyone saying that the boys love her more when really and truth of the fact they loved me more because the ticket was given to me. Its me who gave you that damn ticket, so stop rubbing it in my face like everyone loves ya. god damn.

Anyway alex as a treat ages ago and didn't tell me got me tickets to go and see fall out boy and didn't tell me until last week so this thursday I will jumping up and down with my buff boyfriend to the sounds of fall out boy. *smiles* can't wait.

Um what else, what else.... can't think of anything... I will eventually, btu whatever, yeah having fun so I'll see you laterxx

So steady as she goes...

Okay people first order of buisness is first for this entry and is that I have to post up this poem...Yeah I know its kinda crappy, but I witnessed the other day, something that made me sick to my stomach. I hope this person, who this is about reads it, because he knows that what most of the people in the world see or will end up seeing about him, if you get what I mean... So its actually 1 poem and 1 song put together that I made. They both fit this situation so forgive me if this is very jumpy...


His words blew away/to forget that people have eyes.

He stands there infront of everyone
thinking he is so cool
No pictures can be seen
at first glance.
Acanvas that normally holds people life stories
Clean.

But take a deep look beyond the surface
Through his jokes
His ego.
Behind his walls built so strong
he prays that not even
nuclear weapons
can be part of its destruction.
Here lays a soul burdened with insecurities
A broken smashed "man" if he can even dare call himself that
as well as a heart full of splinters
Of women in the past
He has begged secretly in poem and song
not to break his heart and leave him bleeding
that he "hates surprises".
But truly they always find out who he really is
who he has covered to be
disgusted
they turn on their heels
forget him
and most happily move on without him.
Trying to erase the memories he created
I should know
the mistakes they involved themselves in
not even acknowledging his ex like status.

Wake the fuck up
and take a look around you
everyone has a story to tell
I know yours hear the words do they bleed you
unwinding in truth and in motion
everyone knows but too afraid to tell
about you living your sad and lonely life
with mummy's money begging for
praise in hell.

So come on lets stack them up like dominoes
standing side by side.
How he publicises the fact that he rejects society
But in truth and in matter they reject him.
Can't face reality
He drags himself out of their presence everyday
to crumble in his room
infront of his computer
spending endless hours
perfecting the character he plays
in messageboards
chatrooms
The only "friends" he has.
Gathering peoples personalities
and adding them to his own
nothing of originality to actually be shown.
You can't talk about other peoples failures
without seeing your own
So lets push those dominoes down and watch your faults
tumble.

Wake the fuck up
and take a look around you
everyone has a story to tell
I know yours hear the words do they bleed you
everyone knows but too afraid to tell
about you living your sad and lonley life
buying shit to make you happy
a man of ill mannered will.

we can't wait to watch you fall
I'll be happy to see you break
I'll stand with the winning team
the people not good enough for you
the people you undeniably hate.
You play no importance to any of us
do you even play importance to your "friends"
I didn't think so
Just like your bestfriend can drop you easily
and throw you back with no hope into the deep end.
I thought I'd waste my breath this time
I thought I'd make you see
your no better than any of us
when she disowns you
when your use is over and done
we will cheer.

Come down from the clouds have we
joined us finally on earth
Crash and burn in heaps
and in mass
crawl to the mirror and take a good look at the reflection
ugly from the words that you have said.

So slap another card down
and watch us laugh
as another one will only realise
how fucking selfish you are
"gave her no hope for tommorrow"
only wishing you were that special
his words blew away with the wind
to be free from the curse that he placed.

His words blew away
oh so far
His words blew away with the--
they weren't that important anyway
His words blew away with the wind
fresh winds fill her


Hey anyway... what has been up with me. Nothing much really, bickering friends, me and Alex becoming slightly like a married couple and other lovely crazy and smile worthy things.This morning the raconteurs released their album and damn that stuff is hot ecspecially the song "steady as she goes" its a song you can imagine in the background while seth from the o.c on a skateboard goes past. *drools* Adam Brody.

Plus, the white psp has finally, after me seeing it like in December has crawled its ass slowly but very surely to us in the u.k and the pakaging looks so perfect. Ignore me I am just going on one of my technology rants.

Um meant to meeting up with my friend called eddy. Got a myspace account due to my cousin Dee and others keep on annoying me to get one so go and add me if you love me .
http://www.myspace.com/imperialshadowess *smiles*

Been studying with Alex today.. got some studying done *smiles* although instead of us being ahead in sociology, we never got on to it. Lol! We kept on coming out with pure randomness today... his funniest one today in the middle of the quiet library may I add "Damn I've never seen a weave that bad.. oh my god" as this girl was walking by. I had to hold his mouth 'cus he shouted it. awww my gosh he is so funny, but he said something sweet today, which reminded me he was leaving in four months. "how the fuck am I going to let you go in september" and truly all I answered to that was I have no clue.

So, still waiting for damn lsc to process my damn student loan form and send it back as quick as possible if I made any mistakes, because from my friend fran they sent it back to her four or five times to tell her that she didn't put her middle name in one place, even though she had filled it out almost everywhere else. Lol!

Just downloading a few tracks right now and meant to be taking off to go and see Kaz. I am so tired I am pracically worn thin. Need sleep. So I'll be going now Might make another update during the week.

"So steady as she goes. Steady as she goes"

Claddagh rings entangled with grass

Guess whose back, back again, Martha's back, tell a friend.Guess whose back x6

Well from that entrance of my blog entry you can guess who I have seen. Lol!

Well martha, plus tim. Came back to the house. I miss tim because he is always down in luton now
and I never have a time face to face to catch up with him and his humor... oh knowone and I mean knowone can make me
laugh so hard until I am nearly pissing myself like Tim can.

I was waiting alone in Kaz's house because she left the door on the latch, but strangely no one was in so
I decided to stand there and wait for her. So I hear rattling of dizzys lead as she has just taken him for a walk.
Kaz walks in all smily looking at me comes a bit forward and I notice someone is still standing behind her
closing the door. Then I realised who it was and this look of shock came over me. My eyes popped out of my damn head.
Kaz just started pissing herself laughing.

So we talked and she has been upto a lot recently, only when everyone starts to know about certain stuff that is
when I will say anything about it lol. but yeah lets just say she has been very, very busy. She has had another kid.
Yes, another one. Remember last time she has a baby named Tyresse guess what she called this one... wait for it...god dammit people be patient...
Okay she called this baby reese *laughs* spelt that was as well.She also had it with the same guy that dragged her across the park by her hair *shakes head* this world is so funny.


So what's up with me recently... Um got my predicted grades back, I was floored, like a fish with no water,Panting, screaming and of course shock.
Plus, me nearly pulling Alex's arm out of the socket his predicted grade was a low B, mine on the other hand was an A. Yes a A.
Lord if I get an A I will shout and fucking scream for days on end.Lol! Alex started to be a moody cunt though, he didn't like the fact that I am
predicted higher than him because he is competative, even worse than what jasmine is. lol! aww cutie, he had a frowny face all day. Minus the fact of when we were in the park
across from college laying in the sun there was not a sad face to be seen. Jaz from college kept on passing by and wolf whistling at me, it was funny that girl cracks me up.

There is a possibility that all my friends have been nagging me to go download that I actually might be going with Zen (david, "aka" my gay lover)
He wants to pay for me to go. Cal is praying everyday that david gets paid soon so all the tickets don't run out like. So there is a possibility, quite a big one,
because dave never likes to let me down that I might me going. If I do go I can't wait to hook up with all my friends from manchester and yorkshire who are going, plus the ones
from london, like Jenny, Piablo, Lexi "aka" alex,alan,mekhi,val,samantha,pacey,seara(us blackies representing) and etc.

Oh I borrowed boots to Kaz and it took her two weeks to destroy them *Shakes head* just trying to sort em out. Before mum finds out that Kaz borrowed them and destroyed them.
lol the have a cig burn on one side. The front is badly scuffed and the swade, no longer looks like swade because someone smartly wore them out in the pouring rain.

Going shopping with char today and maybe after that I got a feeling that lexi (alex) will call me to come and meet him.

I recently took some pictures of myself and more and more I swear I look like an emo. A black emo ...is that even possible. I man I don't have to dye anything black
because I already got that down. Although lexi is the first guy to realise that my hair is not black, well that's because he has seen it all the time in the sun light.
oooh did I mention he got some sexy jacket the other day. Ever watched dracular 2000 I think when gerald butler (the guy who was the phantom in phantom of the opera)
he is in constant wearage of this long black jacket, the longer version to my short jacket. Might find a pic. We were walking down the street wearing our jackets and I swear people were
looking at us in awe... straight out of the matrix.

Ooh just checked out the specs for the ps3's re-launch and omg...*waves bye bye* to the xbox360. Has blown it out of the water.
Yeah so what the design is not so hot. But hear this. There is 3D controller that allows users to navigate through games by simply tilting or moving the controller in the air . That's some hot shit right there.
Its price tag is ranging in about around £330. It will also link the psp as another control pad, being able to use that as a way to see behind you. Good thing people though, they have changed the control pad back to the one
we know and love, so no boomerang shit. Plus, downloading games, levels, tv shows, films and all sorts included. Plus I quote form the evening standard " The ps is incredibly powerful and far more advanced than anything we have seen previously" *smiles proudly*

Anyway got a lot to do, talking to dave online and can't be sitting here typing about my life and the crap that surrounds itso I am off. Have a great week whatever you are doing, love ya loads byez.

Take my Hand...

Hey people. Well I am now losing all sanity I thought I had left, rying to grip on to it as much as I can but it seems to be slipping away from me bit by fucking bit.I'm gonna list all the problems that I have a discuss them one by one and just laugh at how god is just expecting to much of me to be able to deal with this year and finish 2006 with my mental state intact cause I can tell you I am gonna have a breakdown soon. I will snap at ever living creature in the vicinity of this me before it though. I hate when I start to do that. Let start with the most rediculous ones.

This whole Sufia and Charlotte thing. Okay I have never seen such stupidity in my life. Haven't they ever heard when your man starts doing you wrong and starts coming on to other chicks never blame the chick...blame the man. But Oh no. Sufia is still clearly in love with mark no matter how much she tries to deny it. (yes I know you will read this sufia that is every reason why I am putting it here) How me, Jay and Azera sat in the park for how many hours explaining to sufia why going out with mark would be a really bad move. Did she listen to us... does she ever...NO! Now when mark starts going around being the manwhore that he is, she starts feeling hurt and abused and I am like didn't I tell you this was going to happen. Still she blames Charlotte. Yes, we all know charlotte has her times when she seems...whats the word...easy.That's char... you can't change who she is. She knows that every guy finds her attractive so she uses it to her advantage. So a couple of weeks ago charlotte came back into me and Kaz's life and has decided she wants to hang around with us again. Since sufia has found out that I am hanging out charlotte, all of a sudden I am a traitor. Also that I am acting differently towards her, when she is being off with me.Practically I know she has been complaining to Jay about me and you know what...I don't give a damn no more because I am realising the people who I have always trusted, my trust in them is starting to fade now.

Which brings me to Jay. Don't get me wrong, I love jay with everything that I have got but lord knows I am never gonna tell her anything to do with mark, charlotte or sufia again. I know sometimes I say things I shouldn't but if they are said I always say 'em to jay so I can keep 'em there. But the fact of the matter is I asked Jay did you tell sufia about the whole charlotte thing in depth, she swore to me and said no. Sufia comes round and does something to make me think that she does. It makes me so angry and upset with her. that I am used as her link, her gossip. Therefore I will play this role no more. When I go to Jays to watch o.c I am just gonna go there watch the programme and leave straight away. No talking about Kaz's house or any of it. Then the funniest thing is she says she has had enough of Kaz's but when they need there little entertainment top up that's when her and sufia go over there. They are not friends to her, and if that is the only way of showing their friendship then lord knows I am not too sure I wanna be in contact with these people.

My mum is saying she wants me out of her house now, because definatley I am nto gonna turnholy and time soon. So I have to find a hostel placement before I start uni.So once again another family memeber is treating me like shit and Ihave to leave my home and find somewhere else, to be even more depressed at...oh yey.

My dad and my mum's courtcase is coming up. I don't want to be there. They keep on expecting me to have all this time to pay attention to both of their bullshit. One wants me to not go to church, come and see them every fucking day and the other wants me to go to church and forget all my friends and the clothes I wear and the music I listen to. Yeah I have never changed myself for anyone why should I start now.

My bro has been moved to the isle of wight prison. I don't have the money to be going down there and seeing him. So I have no one who knows what it is like to go through this shit around me. Plus, I need him to put my rents in their place. They are just both taking fucking advantage of me right now.

University and applying for the fucking thing is ticking me off. The student loan form is as heavy as two fucking bibles and its like it is written in hebrew of some sort although yes it is written in the english language. I feel like shooting the people that made up that form. They must be sitting there laughing knowing that I have to fill in my name more than five times on a damn booklet. I am only through half of it and I have filled in my name 4 friggin times!

Synovate the company I am meant to get the new job from.Is just annoying me, I have to wait until next month until they hire me.

My relationship issues lol! Read half of my DA shit and you might get the idea.

I haven't really enjoyed myself in a while like properly. That is why when I go on this dev meet on the 29th of april I plan to have so much fun and meet so many new people to make my life a bit more interesting. More people to talk to.

I Think I am done. I have finished my ranting and I think I feel alot better now. Yep, I think I do lol! So I think I am gonna go and remember my blog, my words. shut the fuck up and just read. lol
byesxxx

I Love spending my time with you....

Hey ya all. Well this easter holiday is looking slightly hopeful as I actually won money for the grand national got around 200 hundered quid kept 60 and gave 140 to my mum and where has this 60 quid gone...EBAY AND FUCKING CLOTHES LOL! and of course the girlie accesories like eyeliner and eyeshadow (not that they are going to be used that often) but yeah might as well you know pile on the endless make up like girls my age do. who am I kiddin. I may have the biggest and visible blackhead scar on the side of my face and also building family around it. but guess what I couldn't give a flying fuck about it being there. If it wants to stay there then go ahead I do not care, it would be nice if it went away though. Maybe my face might not look so pachy and stuff. Although guys ecspecially alex likes to tell me how innocent and cute I look. Look people yes I know I look 12 can we drop it now!

Um played a little prank on Zak, well not prank but to see whether he does know alot about music as he says he does. In his words not mine " why do these people keep on asking me have I evr heard of this band or that band. I probably know most of the bands out there". I said to him do you know crossade have a new album and he was like "uh I've downloaded it" when in real truth of the matter crossfade have not got a new album out because they are taking some kind of hiatus...therefore...my dear old pal Zak is lying. Plus, doesn't know what he is talking about. I was just sitting there at my comp screen pissing myself laughing. aww I am soo good.

The boondocks, this cartoon that I saw in america that I don't think they are going to bring over here is really funny if you just love hugie taking the piss out of R.kelly."i yoy want to help r.kelly find him a woman his own age, take away his damn video camera,and this nigger some help. Havre you lost your mind and can you please stop the god damn dancing get some dignity" Had me in stitches for ages. Holding my stomach and rubbing my cheecks and all sorts. It just rules. Plus Fran is trying make me watch every downloadable ep of bleach that exsists. She said see would give me anal probing jark style...so I prefer to watch intentally.

Started a collage on my wall of just different stuff. I am atcually gonna have bit of it relating to my life, kind o some progression o my personality how I have grown, 'cus believe it or not I have changed quite a bit from a year ago. David saw it last night.

Saw wrestlemania last night, Must say it wasn't the greateset one I have wacthed but it was alright. Me and Dave did get a bit bored through the middle and chatting online. After wrestling, listened to music chatted, joked AROUND OR AGES. We both fell asleep nearly at the same time. During the night his cat took placement practically on my head. In the morning I was wondering why my head was feeling heavy when I was waking up. To find gombachoff's ass in my face lol.

So yeah I am just gonna get back to living my life people see ya later x x x