The greatest fraudster on earth

Something I made when I was bored.

A broken blade in a confused heart.

Hey everyone just bullet point updating everyone so no-one get moody at me:

+ Uni is a lot better now. At first I was Hating the place because all my friends were in second year and I was in first year, but I am kind of happy it happened that way. I love the people I am with now.
Although, as I remembered working with fiona is still a difficult task. I have really nice people in my life such as Ashley, David, Chanelle, Dihran, Adeola and Adhnan.

+ I actually did my work before the deadline *gasp* I hope I get good grade by keeping on top of all my assignments.

+ Next week is hopefull the last week of uni and guess what on thursday, lecturers and Students drink up party at the crown pub... Hell yeah, I've already been promised 2 drinks. One by Adhnan for helping him with quants and one from david because I am cute lol.

+ Then Tracadero afterwards with Ashley yeyness. Thursday next week is going to be fun. That's when I will start to feel all my cares just start washing away. Well until we are due back, and I will want to cry. I know I will have 2 portfolio's, 2 classroom tests and 1 long ass assignment.*slaps self* Lets not think of that... lets think about lazying around, watching tv, playing games and eating good food. *big grin*

+ I really am tired, terribly exhausted and I need rest, but I can't because I am in serious demand and there is work to be done and can't neglect it. I have got to put all I can in to this year.

+ I have a new bed. its still in the living room, we have to mount it up... I don't like the look of the mattress, but it will have to do. I also got a new smexi corner desk for my room yes its tiny corner desk because as we all know my bedroom is an insult to all bedrooms but I am starting to get use to it.

+ I need to buy a new friends for dinkles to play with because he's getting lonely and all the other teddy's getting jealous because he's so bright and shiny.

+ I need an external hardrive, I don't think my laptop will be able to take much more lol.

So that's it.

I'm done ...

About Me...

So as we all know my name is corinne but my friends shortened it down to cordie. I have had two blogs in my history of blogging.. this current blog and the blog of my past which was called scarred! I got many views, many messages.

This old blog basically was me writing out my past like a story tale. It had in detail facts of what happened to me. People were shocked how strong I was. I made many on-line friends. people were worried about me they thought I was going to die in that house one day.
After much thinking and much protesting from others to keep it, I deleted that blog. I didn't want to be known as the child with the difficult past. Every time someone searched my onnie name Anarchy's Angel, that's the first thing they would see.
I didn't want to be the person who everyone goes “ooh she's had a hard life lets all be nice to her.” Like in school miss hicks hated me ... the bitch. Anyway, she picked on me practically everyday for stupid things that she would let other students get a way with, but then when she learnt what I was going through at home
she became nice towards me. I hated that. If you hate me right, you hate me. not because of my circumstance are you now going to turn around and say “oh corinne you are wonderful oh corinne you are great.” fuck right off.

Apparently I have a like-ability factor about me. I can hangout with all types of people and be really silent and they still like me... well like I said apparently. One question I have always asked myself is why? why do people like me? Really aren't I just a moody sarcastic bitch, who is generally an uncomfortable person to be around.

I'm not socially in tuned. I can't do what Kaz does. Go into room and not knowing anyone and come out with all of their numbers and talking about hanging out or going for drinks. People don't realise I am rather shy. I'm not really good with being social, but I'm apparently the life of the party. To which I think whatever life of the party I am this must be some rather dead party.

Another thing about me I actually do have a stammer, well a slight one actually. I trained myself to over come it so much that you can't really hear it in my usual speech. It comes back full blown however when I'm really nervous, uncomfortable, shy or scared. Like sometimes I say something, I know what I wanted to say in my head and when I say it out loud to me it sounds
like I've said the right thing until someone corrects me and I am like what did I say?? it is very hard to control sometimes. When it also takes me forever to word a sentence is annoying too.

I am lame in general. I look lame, I act lame everything about me oozes lameness. Even this fucking entry is lame. Everyone says its me fishing for compliments when I say I'm am ugly (which isn't true btw) I truly am not, and I mean that in all honesty I think I'm am really really hideously ugly. I honestly do think Chantelle is a whole lot more prettier than me *Kaz stands there looking at me in disgust*

A question I have asked most of the guys I have dated is why me? I mean if the outside isn't special and the inside is not that great either then why? Its true they could have their first pick of beauties, but they are dumb enough to choose me lol.

I mean people remind me everyday that I am ugly urgh corinne your hair is still short, urgh your still that dark (there's not a cure for my skin colour you know) corinne you are fat, corinne why are you so tall? My dad conditioned me since a young age. EVERY SINGLE DAMN DAY I GOT TOLD THAT: I would never become anything, I was worthless, a whore, fat, ugly, I couldn't play the guitar, I should stop singing because I couldn't. Basically everything about me was wrong and that I couldn't be seen as perfect as his son. To my parents I was the mistake, well to my dad anyway.


So when anyone tries to tell me corinne you can do this very well, I very quickly dismiss it and say no I'm not or no I can't. Sometimes it an instant thing that happens and I can't help it. I remember one time I was watching tv and then my dad came in and decided he would start on me about being fat. He reduced me to tears, I don't think I ever felt more crap that he made me feel on that day. So I drank his alcohol on empty stomach nearly everyday to ease the pain of living with him. I didn't eat, I couldn't stand the sight of food... and I thought well maybe if I lost some weight then he would stop pushing me around. I always felt like it was my fault I was the one who was pushing him and getting him angry. Mum realised I wasn't eating and was acting weird (alcohol) she started to monitor my eating after that, she has ever since. That's why sometimes my mum makes me eat before I leave the house just so she knows that I have eaten.

I saw Nadia last week no matter even if it was for 2 hours it was so much fun. Anyway she informed me that I had drastically changed. Everyone is so use to the old me... corinne who was funny, sarcastic and hyper all the damn time. I miss her. The old corinne I mean. She was fun, I was happy to be her. Now I am so quiet and reclusive that I feel generally sorry for anyone who tries to strike up conversation with this tired withdrawn cordie of now. Nadia thinks it because of Alex, she says I've crawl back into this sort of shell and I wont come out for a while and then one day, BOOM!!! I am back to normal. The thing that is scaring me is I don't think I'm going to be normal any more. Neither do I have the strength, energy or self satisfaction to be like that.

Nadia's friend was there too I barely spoke one bit to him. Apparently he likes me a lot (this is the first time he had met me *deep breath* boys, what do they know eh?)I hardly spoke to him and that's how she knew something wasn't right. She's really worried, that I am becoming this unapproachable person. I think in some ways she is right.

Message to Alex from Nadia “WHAT THE FUCKKKKK HAVE YOU DONE TO HER?”

I want to be my old self again, I really do but I don't think that 'fun' side of me is attainable. It makes me sad, because right now who the hell am I? What have I become that has nadia so worried about me.

I also got the “you're depressed” talk. She also thinks that the excessive weight loss of recent is tied to that, and the constant tiredness.

I am fine people, just trust me give me time. Give me time.

Nadia also thinks my barrier against letting people in, is to the point where it can't be penetrated with a few questions or easily built friendships and I don't speak so you wont know anything about me.

Have I really become like this?

Richard said I might as well be Kaz's shadow, I follow her closely and have no speech of my own. Well I would rather be Kaz's shadow than be a carrier of a thousands STI'S like yourself Richard. Fucker.

Do you blame though. Left right and centre I have people backstabbing me, hating on me, abandoning me, turning their backs on me, wishing that I would die, not having any hopes that I will succeed. I have a right to shut myself away from the world. Its safer for everyone trust me.

Well jeez THAT was depressing.

Anyway I'm going to try and get some sleep although I just had 8 hours I am still tired *looks at Nadia* shut it don't say another word. Anyway I'll get up in an hour or two. Order my desk yeyness. Go down to the bank, talk them about getting a new card. Then go to cash converters and insult them for trying to cheat me out of a dvd. Then go sainsbury's back home and maybe Kaz's today.

Got a cold and period pains from the period that is nowhere in sight.

So I'm off to go and snooze now *waves* byeee x x x

Today's the day when I sit by and watch my life waste away

Hey Just back dating entries.

Sometimes I just find myself writing blog entries and then thinking, why the hell am I doing this. I mean I have no reason to write these things, but because its beccome such a part of me I can't help it.

whats happened this week?

My Aunt was diagnosed with cancer again, and my mother is going down to yorkshire to see her. I would have loved to go there because I LOVE THAT PLACE. I would marry it and have its like sheep and cow infested babies. Plus, I like being around my aunt. She's funny and is religious, but not as serious as my mum. Although she can be strict I love my mum for the way she has pushed me 'cus least I know I haven't done anything that I would really REALLY regret ...Well not yet anyway.
Sooooorry vic I know you have been annoying me for the past few months to suddenly turn up at your door step but I want some time alone. lol.

I've nearly got my voice back but at the same time have made everyone else around me terriby sick. I sang on Monday yeyness. I was also very confused on monday, but lets not even touch upon that subject.

still haven't recieved my student loan these people are taking the p-i-s-s.

I have a new found love for Quantative methods (statistics) ... yey! I normally hate maths and all that it stands for.

we need staff and some damn new members at sbos boards... google is being a bitch to us.

I bought slipper socks *stop and looks at everyone watching at her* WHAT!!!! *cute voice* they look like slippers but they are socks and they have loads of spots on them *giggles*

I crave pizza... ummmmmm pizza

Rewatching season 1 of angel, for what reason I don't know,

I'm trying to stop myself from buying the ipod Touch. I need an mp3 player (well I dont need one) and that thing is as smexi as hell.

Must start playing naruto arena again I was pretty good at it once upon a time.

Posted up new pics on FACEBOOK (well I should have by now anyway)...I must really update myspace and who uses bebo? just sounds like a damn african name. Sorry that was rude I take that back.

Plus I haven't made a new template for here yet, I really should. The Sasuke template must disappear, I know as soon it is gone I am going to have hate mail from nadia. Got the film yet? if so send it to me.. Quick tings blud quuuiiick tings.

Wrote a song yesterday called hello to fake dreams. Its sad.

Right so my lovlies I'll see you again for another great and exciting entry (lies)

Bye x x x

A cold that could Kill

Hey everyone went Karoke on thursday ... Didn't get up to sing...why? because I have lost my voice and currently sound like a man who has been on 40 cigs a day lol.

This is my second cold/flu thing in four weeks. My immune system, the most crappiest thing I know.

I was really, really tired. That's only because I spent the night prior to that thursday at karoke in a hotel room with jon and Kaz. Before you think it, I was not doing naughty stuff. okay maybe a little ... kidding.

Well the army is letting Jon stay in the hotel because he has no where else to go. They are basically paying for everything.

So kaz heard this and her eyes lit up lol. I was too ill to go down stairs and drink with them because I was coughing and blowing my nose. So I stayed nice and snug in the bed. btw that bed was damn comfortable.

During my journey to victoria station I had my first ride on the back of a bike... Did I look hot in a helmet? hell yeah. lol. It was fun Chris had bike but people were afraid we would take off if I got on the back of it and never to be seen again. So the bike was off limits to me.

Unfinished....

cordie x

Sister Mary Gang member and her gang banging crew.

I have the flu WAHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!

My back started bleeding while I was at karoke on monday, didn't want to worry anyone by telling them so I keep on touching the area 'cept it looked like I was doing something totally different.
So if anyone saw any lower back rubbage its not what ya think lol. mum took me to hospital before uni and I'm fine people... well as fine as people with a wound on their tailbone can get.

Had fun at karoke although my head was pounding, my nose was slightly blocked and I tasted the most sickening ribs in my life. Nah dude seriously it tasted like someone just dipped it in honey took it out and thought hey I dont know what I'm doing but I'm going to attempt to season the fuck. Geez it was free but never again.

I'm tired today, I mean really worn down and I just want to rest but of course I can't. Way too much to do, seriously.

Had slight time though to start coloring in my new sig slash character for the new SBOS boards. Keavy did a awesome job I make a crap admin Honestly.... I'm sick, internetless and still struggling to get stuff sorted and its affecting the board. Darnit.
Sometimes I wished we never moved house, life would still be so much more relaxing. minus the whole my dad and half of his family showing up at the door.

The best video that I have managed to catch on film... I had to put it on youtube and its probably going to get taken off or some little twelve year is going to tell me. I hate this video get a life or something like that. Oh I love getting into fights with those kids who think they are the shit online
come against me and I will remind you that I am older than you. Stupid fools.

Anyway I'm bored now. Its 02:52 wednesday morning. I'm also very cold (our boiler broke*rolls eyes*) and there is nothing on tv and no I am not going to sit there and watch porn (not that there is any on.... you have gotta miss the old channel 5 though, Well I dont miss it but you get what I mean)

Sister Mary Gang Member is signing off.


Cordie x

Scotty doesn't Know

Hey!!!!!!

Scotty doesn't know,
That Fionna and me,
Do it in my van every Sunday.

She tells him shes in church,
But she doesn't go,
Still shes on her knees, and...

Scotty doens't know, oh.
Scotty doesn't know-oh.
So don't tell Scotty!
Scotty doesn't know,
Scotty doesn't know.
SO DON'T TELL SCOTTY!

Fionna says shes out shopping,
But shes under me and I'm not stopping.

Cuz Scotty doesn't know,
Scotty doesn't know,
Scotty doesn't know,
Scotty doesn't know.
So don't tell Scotty.
Scotty doesn't knoooooow....
DON'T TELL SCOTTY!

I can't believe he's so trusting,
While I'm right behind you thrusting.

Fionna's got him on the phone,
and she's trying not to moan.
It's a three way call,
and he knows nothing.
NOTHING!!!

Scotty doesn't know,
Scotty doesn't know,
Scotty doesn't know,
Don't tell Scotty.
Cuz Scotty doesn't know,
Scotty doesn't knoooooow....
SO DON'T TELL SCOTTY!

We'll put on a show, everyone will go.
Scotty doesn't know,
Scotty doesn't know,
Scotty doesn't knoooooow....

The, parking lot, why not?
It's so cool when you're on top.
His front lawn, in the snow.
Laughing so hard, cuz...

Scotty doesn't know,
Scotty doesn't know.

I did her on his birthday.

Scotty doesn't know,
Scotty doesn't know,
Scotty doesn't know,
Scotty doesn't know,
Don't tell Scotty.
Scotty doesn't knoooooow....

Scotty will know,
Scotty has to know,
Scotty's gotta know,
Gonna tell Scotty,
Gonna tell him myself.

Scotty has to know,
Scotty has to know,
Scotty has to,
Scotty has to,
Scotty has to go!

Scotty doesn't know,
(Don't tell Scotty)
Scotty doesn't know,
(Don't tell Scotty)
Scotty doesn't know...
Scotty's gotta go!

-Lustra - Scotty doesn't know.

This song is only here because I haven't heard it in ages lol. Has nothing to do with me, before I get random friends asking me "cordie what have you been upto?"

xUpdates x

- Re-doing year 1 because I couldn't take my re-takes and was in hospital while they were taking place, although strangely enough my exstenuating circumstances was approved... I have still been sent back to the first year... and with that I have fiona with me for another year, because she also failed to progress to teh second year.
- I'm alot better, just waiting for my student loan to come through (*cough* more alike start filling out the form lol*cough*)
- Tierd alot (still drugged up on Co-dydramol)

- Started new Naruto fanart its called promise fullfiled. It makes me sad. Damn you Sasuke.

- Getting my net access back in the first week of october, praise be.

- Evil intentions in mind for certain people in my life.

- Playing the most funniest game of sims, with all my friends as characters. I might start taking screen-shots just because its so funny so far.. Chantelle sleeps with everything that walks ( wow virtual reality really does resemble real life) and is sleeping with Jon and Alan in different rooms, so they dont know about each other, Johnathon is a business man who desires expensive things and fancies all the women that walk through the door (so true to life as well) and is also sleeping with a married woman, the maid and his betfriends wife. Kaz and Alan are getting it on and are about to get engaged (*laughs* the day that happens in real life, is when I know the world is coming to an end) Anthony is obssesed with my character he has three damn lighting bolts with mean strong chemistry (although my character aint giving a crap about him ...oh wait that resembles life too) and currently is screwing the maid and Jasmine is screwing some old rich married guy (you can see her doing that lol) .... what my boredom took over one monday evening

- got a virus on my memory stick that refuses to budge

- my room is a total mess.. nah really its to the point where you wouldn't think a human being lives in this room.

- Still haven't got my Mp3 player fixed

- Gone up a bra size.... I know I know you didn't need to know that.

Funny things this week:

Although I have seen this many times and have also downloaded it on to my computer, I decided to watch them all again. What? you ask... the Naruto Abridged series honestly Vegeta, Masako ... you guys own.

Backstory: Iruka's parents were killed when he was young.

This scene takes place when iruka is sorting out the genin groups. he picks all the main characters and left the other people in the room unamed. Right... Action:

Random Kid: What about us?
Iruka Sensei: uh you're not impotant enough
Random Kid: My mum thinks I'm special
Iruka Senei: Well your mum's a skank
Random Kid: Least I have a mum
Iruka Sensei: Ah! Touche

- Naruto the Abridged Series

My punishment....

I'm not going to sussex

I have to repeat my year although its because of my illness that I didn't attend my exams and they know this.

All my cool friends are gone.

I am a loser and I am all alone.

Geez can anybody tell I am not in a good mood today.

Funny things I have seen today though

A ghetto guy proper head to toe covered in bling... NY HAT, Trackies....
Reading *gasp* and second gasp.... it was Harry Potter.

Wait... gangbangers actually know how to read... wow miracles do happen.

Update.... yeaaaahhhh yeaahhhh another one.

Hey everyone just updating 'cus I was ordered to *hits Nadia* (tell me, why can't you just call me LIKE A NORMAL PERSON WOULD) *Sighs*

+ I no longer need nursing at home *jumps around does a little dance* and my cavity (as they are calling it now) is at its final stages of healing.

- I am actually starting to feel claustraphobic in my room.

+ I am planning to get 2 new guitars... I know, I know. I have no space to put them, but I will find somewhere okay. they are cheap and from ebay... annnnnd are handpainted like my guitar with butterflies. Although, the pink Hello kitty guitar is singing to me in my sleep. No, this is no joke I tell you,I have been dreaming of this guitar.

- I am so broke at the moment that it actually hurts. Ever felt so broke, that your heart feels heavy... no.... well you should try it, its a new pitiful experiance.

++ I am going to see david for two days next week. I miss him, I can't believe he abandoned me here in london and never to return, his answer to this...." Well... come and live with me". *dry tone* Yes Dave, that solves everything. *laughs*

+ Just thinking on how to decorate the claustophobic paradise (my room) I'm downsizing my bed to a mere double. I know, the pain. I am going to try and find the most smallest desk known to man, get a few draping cloths, tv, pillows, upto date posters (that's a lie I have loads of posters I just wish for more) dvd and cd rack, shelves and I think that will be it.

- Alex I thought you said you were going to stop stalking me.

-Yes nadia I will start your request for me to make a naruto and sakura video to even in death by evanescence, but it would be easier, if I could see the 4th movie then the song it would go.

+ Uni starts in four to five weeks I haven't started applying for my student loan, neither do I know whether I am going back or not.

Okay there you go, an update. it was boring and also time consuming.

love ya all x x x

Give me a reason to believe that you're gone. I see your shadow so I know they are all wrong.

hey all I've just come back from seeing rush hour 3 (Excellent film, Chris-Jackieness great humour like always) I did have a good night, but it felt wrong in a way.

Kaz asked me to come down and go harvester with her and I thought... Okay, I'll come down and spend some time with Kaz and co. Then Jon abruptly controls our plans of free foodness (what people I am black) to go to wetherspoons.
So Kaz asked if we would get fed, he said yes and yada yada yada. So anyway as soon as we get to wetherspoons, I get a text from my mum saying I had to bring my bus pass back and give it to her so she could go out.
So I told Kaz I can't come back down because my mum will have my pass and because of my broke ass no working summer, with much injuries I have no money to just take a bus back down.
She gave me her bus pass and said she would ask jon to buy her a bus pass. So I took the pass to my mums to find out that she didn't really need it. I wanted to murder her because I spent maybe an hour and twenty minutes trying to get myself back down to streatham.

So I leave my pass with my mum and come back down on Kaz's bus pass. So I get to wetherspoons and as you can imagine there is a chantelle looking very depressed, and the very merry twosome Jon and Kaz ( drunk like damn fishes swimming around in white wine) and two birds I have never seen before.
I get introduced to sophie and alice who are really sweet and beautiful girls (shame I'm nothing like that). A slight argument breaks out because kaz wants to go home and change, bcause she smelt of alcohol, but it wouldn't have made much difference because the amount of alcohol she consumed was already on her breath (lol!)
Chan didn't want to go because jon was there. Chantelle and jon are now enemies, although when they first met each other he wanted to jump her damn bones. (this is turning out to be a very long story).

So after much moaning and confusion jon had 4 tickets to go and see rush hour 3 he invited sophie and alice (who he just randomly met that day) and had space for one more person. So kaz and chan didn't want to go and I didn't exactly feel like going with Jon and the two other girls, but then Kaz did tell me that jon would waste a ticket and I felt guilty.
I dont know why this boy can't just go to peckham damn cinema like the rest of us cheap fucks.

So we get in a black cab after jon ran half way down the road for it. I had to run to the other side even though I told him I can't run due to my wound in my back still trying to heal (oh I ripped the skin on it a week ago that was damn paiiiiinful)
So whiz forward a bit, we are in the cab and jon is shouting from the rooftops that he gay, which doesn't surprise me much and talking about how much he earns in a year and suddenly I dont know where it came from but jon started turning on me.
He was saying it like it was a joke, but you know those jokes when you hear the person voicing their opinions about you, but hiding behind the walls of haha I'm just kiddin' ya. well it was like that. Jon said well you're poor, you wont get a good job and then to alice and sophie
that he admires them for being nurses because they are signing up to be poor for the rest of their lives, I dont know the way he was saying it, it made me feel low... I don't know about sophie and alice, but he just kept on going on about how poor I am always gonna be.

Then other comment of after the night out we had a month ago or so, went slept in the same bed (not like that people ewww) and he hugged me, he said something but I will not mention it. Anyway he started talking to alice thinking that I thought somethng was going on between us ( WHICH I NEVER) and he was like I mean why would I want to I mean she fat, Black and poor. once again if it was a joke at least a smile this was total seriousness in his voice.


So we get there and we are waiting for him to get his tons of food he ordered for himself asked me if I wanted anything I said no, then he said get one thing so I said coke. right so I got a coke. so he apparently topped up his gift card and gave it over to pay for the stuff that he bought, apparently it had insufficient funds. Jon gets into this argument with the manager, when they were trying to fix the problem and he just needed to patient, when I told him this I got a very harsh "just shut up corinne" so I just left him and went to talk to sophie. After this I decided I'm just going to try and stay out of his way and not get down about it
Finally got to our seats and the film had already started btw jon sat at the end to your left then sophie, alice then me at the end to your right.

He offered popcorn to sophie and alice and he said hey corinne wants some I was just about put my hand in and he pulls it away and says " well you are fat enough already I dont think you need anymore" and sit back in the chair then when he looked over and saw my face that when he decided that he would give me some, to which I then I rejected it until he started getting popcorn down alice and shoving it in my face, I took some just to shut him up.

Then he embarressed me in cinema about something else, which I will not mention.

I can take those kind of comments, when they are jokes. Even sometimes when they are jokes they hurt, but I just ignore them and brush 'em off. When everyone gangs up on me, even though I know they're joking, it makes me feel wrong to be black and I feel small ( I know what them lot are thinking along the lines of "but it is though") because most of my friends are not black and they go on and on and on about it. Once everyone was doing it, and I had a hard day and I want cheer up and I thought... yeah my friends will cheer me up. I wasn't feeling that great about myself either and then they all started. I acted like nothing was wrong, but its kind of funny how I went to the toilets and cried lol! Stupid me,

Jon however took it to a whole new level, the way he was saying it, it was like he meant every word he said. Then I remembered I still had to ask him for a bus pass to get back home and he had been going on about how 'poor' I am all night.

After punching me in my back and me punching him in the back in return, much harder, showing him that there is one thing about a black person you dont mess with... their strength.

I had to ask or i wouldn't able to get home as it seemed as he had forgot, I did at this point feel like shit so I reminded him and the angry WHAT?!? I got back was like, yey bring on the crappy feeling then he started going into one " NO-ONE TELLS ME THESE THINGS" grumbling underneath his breath, grabs a one day buspass out of his pocket and thrusts it at me and was like "well...bye"

So its decided I am never going out with jon again, well not by myself and not while he is drunk, well least I have a jist of what he really thinks of me. I wouldn't have even been there if Kaz hadn't told me to come back.

I know half of that stuff is true, but its the comments that are true that hurts more than the ones that are false right?

I don't know maybe I'm overreacting but when I was at the bus stop I felt tears coming to my eyes (I'm such a stupid twat sometimes) I just came home after the film I have wanted to see all year, feeling like dirt, I'm a bit better now.

x Updates x

- Uni finally are doing something about my extenuating circumstances form Yeyness. Hopefully by the grace of god this form reaches them by friday,

- I should be fully connected back to the net by october.

- I am actually an admin of a board that has more than ten members.

- Might be changing my blog template, I'm getting fed up of seeing sasuke. Well I haven't been online that much but I know he's there and its annoying (that sounds like such a jasmine thing to say)

- Wound in my back from the op has nearly closed, although it will take maybe a year or so to fully heal.

- I have to stop myself from drawing more fan-art, its starting to clutter my darnn room.The character I have drawn to soon be my DA ID ( dont know why I bother with DA anymore) looks so hot.... of course if its hot it looks nothing like me... although its my character... I should probably draw a black marshmallow woman and put that there instead.

- Still weak after losing 3 pints of blood two days after my operation and being rushed back to hospital. Then further after that losing another 1/2 a pint a few days after that. the doctor said I may feel tired alot, but still they are amazed how I can be as active as I am today.

- I think my tagger is on crack... I think it went to get high with all the other crack head taggers. its showing old messages instead of new ones. So I am just going to delete all my messages and start afresh ... better leave me comments biznatches.


Anyone I have droned on too long with my depressed self (well not depressed just slightly down)

Mina Arigato(everybody thankyou) for putting up with reading this lol.

love ya xx

Quote of the week

Jon: So chantelle I hear you are illiterate
Chantelle: *Looks all offended*
Chantelle: .... what's illiterate?
Jon: The answer is yes then

Quote from Rush Hour 3 - you have to see this part to find it funny and it also sounds like something I would say

*Chris tucker is dangling from the effile tower*

Chris tucker: No...woahhh.... black people don't fly, they just dont dont fly *shouts* black people don't flyyyyyy.

They Patched me up and sent me on my merry way

Hey Guys I am a bit weak at the mo, so I am going to give an update as fast as poss, before this damn tablet knocks me out again.

I had the operation on monday, I am still pretty weak, and have slight discomfort, but I'm doing fine.

They were even thinking of not doing my surgery because they couldn't find a surgeon who was free and willing lol. But finally after 4 1/2 hours wait they finally went through with it.
I came out looking like hell, honestly... but my mum, Jay and Kaz and ryan (lol!) made me feel loads better.

I am now at my new house (yes I have moved) and I have no internet, so its a bit annoying but hey gotta live with that for a while until I get everything sorted out and I am back on my feet again. So I will be around for a bit.

Thank you everybody for the texts, calls and emails to check if I am alright.

Soz you guys feeling really tired so I am going to go now.

Love ya loads

*mwah* x x x

My so deserved punishment

Hey guys still feeling awful, plus our favourite monthly friend made a visit and had me vomiting everywhere (I'm not kidding I swear at one point it was like projectile vomit) and I near collapsed if my mum hadn't grabbed onto me.
I felt kind of sorry for her today she has been so darn active because we are moving to are tiny house tomorrow... sorry I am going to state it how it is... its about half of the size of my house now (even smaller). Okay must stay happy I moving there tomorrow *tries to fill self with happy thoughts and fails miserably* oh well don't say I didn't try.

Anyway, I have had a lot of thinking to do over these past couple of days, and honestly I am very confused, but I am just going to ignore what's going on for awhile and enjoy in pain packing and so forth.

I love you guys so much and David I'm sorry I can't get back to your emails I'm fine and you don't need to come to London for me. You too Nadia. and Alex... stop with ringing me already you are the only person who calls me on private number I ain't going to pick up so just stop.

*big huggles*

ttyl x

(Oh depending on the moving I may or may not have internet access... pray that I do)

Hopefully Kazzie and Jaja are going to come over and help me out,which will be fun and we can have a little leaving ceremony to the big bedroom.

But I have already decided that I am havinf a tv in that room, when I get money I amgetting a flat screen tv and mounting it up on the wall Yeeeeaaahhhh Baby!!! right next to my bed.. the bedroom is going to get proper pimped.

sleepy now *yawns cutely* z z z z Z Z Z Z

I'm at my limit

hey everyone, just letting you know I might go missing for a while on everything this includes: My blog,DA,Blades of Seireitei,facebook,myspace etc...

This is because I have a serious and dangerous cyst, which needs to be removed and is extremely painful. I am very ill at the mo... and now it has come to the point that I can't sit or be active at all, can't eat and I am pretty much weak because of that.

I am hoping though that god will prevent it from getting worse and after it is removed that it will never return.

Sorry guys I'm too weak to type anything else

ttyl x

Happy B-day. You can stand under my umbrella.

Yeah it was my bday yesterday *dances around*. Pretty eventful, I had fun, but one person always tries to spoil my fun (must remember no ranting).

I had the first ever bday cake made out of pita bread and the biggest candle known to man in the middle (that was excellent) and we ate it all with cheese (yummm cheese).

There was craziness, seeing people I haven't seen in years. Becoming groupies, me walking around like a walking,talking birthday party *looks at everybody* What?! Kazzie attacked me with ballons, Loads of them.

I got some great presents, and I thank everyone who gave me a present,they were all so lovely *hugs you all* plus cards and actually showing up on my bday... *even more hugs*

Anyway, my mood plummeted during the night, and I think it affected everyone else, because I got a call from someone, who I wish no longer to name by name (you ass) who started wish death upon me (specific words being... I hope you die on that operation table you evil bitch, cow. I hate you. How dare you have fun on your birthday, while I'm miserable) because I wouldn't take them up on their offer.
I said no the first few hundred times what makes you think one more would make a difference.

I was so happy I couldn't feel my back pain during the night, it was until this morning, omg the pain kicked in. I feel so damn old, lol. I'm 20 years of age, 16 mentally and have an 80 year olds body. Well come in visit me in hospital everyone lol.

I am going to try and put the pics that I have of my bday up (there are not many) in my photo album. The link is in the navigation. Since everyone is making me sign up to facebook and myspace and other damn networking sites then I might as well show everyone.

My brother finally text me, this cheap message. 'Happy birthday sis holla at me when you can bye' but I am kinda happy because I still got a message from him. Its better than nothing right? I think he hates me now. I don't know why, I wish he didn't... I haven't done anything wrong, not anything that I know of. He is one of those people I love too much and anything he does to me I just accept. * feels a bit down* *slaps self*

Anyway, Happy stuff, ummm I'm going to the beach next week, dont know why the weather has been crappy.

I might get my new Zen Vision M because my other one decided the colour on the screen would give up on me.

GEEZ I really haven't got much going on at the moment have I? Damn you back, as soon asd they fix you, I WANT TO GET BACK ON MY FEET.

Anyway I'm done

Love ya

Cordie x

Happy Bday Blog - You're the best blog a girl could have lol...

Yey! Another year and another bday. Wow three years of writing this crap lol. Nah to be honest this blog has served me well. It kept me sane at times. So blog I thank you *huggles your 0's and 1's* you have been good to me.

Ahhhh its my bday in two days. Gosh I can't believe it I'm going to be 20 (I'm very scared, I officially have to grown up) I mean I have the body of an 80 year old because of thee
pains and the problems wrong with it; and I have the mind of a sixteen year old... dirty and joking all the time.

Anyway *waves* I have got to attempt in my current state to clean my room, this should be fun. *rolls eyes* bye.

Too much road to cover and yeah its a bitch I'm still behind.

Okay I said I would refrain from ranting. Which I have, Actually I haven't written anything at all *slaps hand* I bet this will make nadia feel better. oh btw nadia thankyou for telling me about the sale on Naruto dvds but I still can't believe you bought 3 sets... Why You only need one.Wait on second... your planning on selling them on arent you? damn you child. lol.
Okay my eyes hurt and is giving me migrane because for two days I have worked trying for the first time to colour in something that I have drawn. Bleach Fan Art. It took me two days to be patient and do the outline and colour it in, then when it came to the background. I had no will left and gave it any old background but it still came out okay. check it out >>>>>FIRST COLOURED PIC<<<<<Hopefully one day I will become as good as Fran. Blissychild You own all DA artists period.

Today we got our new house. Nice area.. private housing. I'm back to Anerley room size conditions. It is going to make me miss my spacious room that I have now. I wont have no Tv or desk. But I can Deal with that I too. I had to before, I guess I have to stop being selfish and deal with it. It has a tiny kitchen and an Okay livingroom and tiny bathroom and of course my mothers mansion size bedroom.
But I wont miss, the mice and rats that have started to appear in the kitchen and the problems wrong with this house. Plus, my family knowing where we are and could kill us at anytime (trust me if they got a good shot and wouldn't go to prison for it ... trust me they would take it)
I guess I'll have to party in the space I have now and get as much of it in my system before I move into that house.

Um made a bleach messageboard.. (dont smile fran you did this to me)

Its my bday next week on tuesday. Yeah you all better remember that. Plus another year for the blog as it has another bday yeyness.

Omg must buy rockfest tickets or I will be screwed, eventhough certain stalkers are going I must go. I will go, come on Brigade and INME under one roof. I will be mad to miss this.
Back problems (yeah my cyst is trying to grow back praying to god I wont have to go through the surgery because it takes a long time to heal from that and last time during that op my heart stopped or I stopped breathing. Either way, I had a huge tube down my darn throat when I woke up) or not, I will be there jumping (oh I can imagine the pain now) and singing for my life ... so whose with me? *cordie looks around and hears nothing but silence* Anybody?!? lol.
Uni results have come out except I dont know what I got because stupid me has forgotten my Gateway details.

For some odd reason though I want one of those digital photo frames, but I might as well forget about one of those, because eventho it is tiny I aint gonna have no where to put it in my new room XD.

Plus I must state this for no reason Byakuka is one fine piece of ass. Smexyness, just overflows mate. *cough* anyway.... um bye *waves*

Kayane Newly acclaimed lady of the shadow is bowing out .. well kinda.

I dont even know how to start off this blog entry... for this is no longer a blog.
what do I mean exactly? I've been thinking for a while that voicing myself aloud ecspecially in certain circumstances or talking on my day whether good or bad gets me nowhere.
(and before you say it, no I am not picking a fight, this is not because of you guys it just shows its about time I stop writing entries that to me is just realeasing a tiny bit of anger, to others it offends)
Dont get me wrong, I will write in here... things like surveys, quiz's, new show or video that I've watched. Things like that.
but I will refrain from rants, a break down of my week. I may still give bullet point updates. but that's it.
I know no one never asked me to give up writing in my blog, I just dont want to rant or say anything anymore and it somehow being used agaisnt me (once again still not picking a fight it has been done in the past) or people being greatly offended by it when it was just something to do, to past the time for me. Because of this, this blog has slightly lost its edge and I cannot regain that, not in my current situation and its current state. ( also the best way to tiptoe around certain subjects is just not to talk about them)

Plus I have no more use to really have a blog anymore, I've got msn, myspace and facebook anyone who wants to know how I am can find out there right???? lol.

So I'm done.

its been fun.

Love ya loads guys (can't wait for those offliners because I know what they are gonna say... *laughs*) and nadia stop challenging me to fight you on that naruto game you're a jounin, I'm only a friggin academy student I dont want my ass to be kicked lol... Plus read the lastest manga ep...OMG WHAT, WHY, WHEN?KUBUTO HUH? EXCUSE MOI ?CORINNE IS CONFUSED...Has Kubuto got orich's mind and sasuke has his spirit or what??
cordie x x x

Girls are bitches - so fed up for them as friends.

Hey everyone I am actually meant to be at church right now. I am cuddled up in a blanket and not feeling too well, my head is still funky and my eyes really hurt.*cries*

I Don't really have anything to say except.

I brought a new dvd player, because the other one decided it was going to break. I bought the same one (because its cute) but in silver.

I dont know even why I started this entry I mean I have been writing tons of these of recent. I dont know I thnk I perfer doing this than having long convos on msn or human contact.I am kind of liking being by myself, and not having to explain and sit and talk to people. This is all takes to long to do these days and I just come out of it feeling exhausted.

I can say to one person, who I actually miss. Dave, you were so right mate, you were so right and I chose not to listen to you. I should have taken you up on manchester lol.

The people I thought really did understand me, the people who I thought I can trust... Ha .. you really can't. Its DTA all the way now.

Anyway apparently my uni friends are going out today as well today (they went out yesterday), might as well go and have fun with them.

cya round x x x

Random things I got of Komal

RULES:1. Put Your itunes on Shuffle2. For each question, press the next button to get your answer.3. YOU MUST WRITE THAT SONG NAME (just name!!!) DOWN NO MATTER HOW SILLY IT SOUNDSIF SOMEONE SAYS "IS THIS OKAY" YOU SAY?Absurd

HOW WOULD YOU DESCRIBE YOURSELF?Strange and beautiful (see my Zen vision m speaks the truth XD Kidding.)

WHAT DO YOU LIKE IN A GUY/GIRL? These arms of mine (lol)

HOW DO YOU FEEL TODAY? Will you (shakes around and headbangs)

WHATS YOUR LIFES PURPOSE? Everytime

WHAT IS YOUR MOTTO? I miss you

WHAT DO YOUR FRIENDS THINK OF YOU? Unforgivable sinner (lol)

WHAT DO YOU THINK OF YOUR PARENTS? I'm not Okay (you damn right look at what
damn people have done to me)

WHAT DO YOU THINK ABOUT VERY OFTEN? Too lost in you

WHAT IS 2+2?Killing me softly

WHAT DO YOU THINK OF YOUR BESTIE? Until the day I die

WHAT DO YOU THINK OF THE PERSON YOU LIKE? Error operator

WHAT IS YOUR LIFE STORY? Guillotine (lol)

WHAT DO YOU WANT TO BE WHEN YOU GROW UP? Die Romantic (wahey)

WHAT DO YOU THINK WHEN YOU SEE THE PERSON YOU LIKE? *laughs* Bow down and
worship him. *still cracking up*

WHAT DO YOUR PARENTS THINK OF YOU? Stockholm syndrome

WHAT WILL YOU DANCE TO AT YOUR WEDDING?Because of you (damn that song should never be at a wedding unless if I am marrying chris or my dad and marrying my dad ewww incest)

WHAT WILL THEY PLAY AT YOUR FUNERAL? (nah this harsh ) cries in vain.

WHAT IS YOUR HOBBY/INTEREST?Dice (well its from the o.c so yeah your not half wrong)

WHAT IS YOUR BIGGEST FEAR? Take it off (lol yeah that's what Aj would frikkin say. Too afraid to take off them clothes are ya.)

WHAT IS YOUR BIGGEST SECRET?I'm loving it (what exactly)

WHAT DO YOU THINK OF YOUR FRIENDS? Take me under (that definately does not right)

WHAT WILL YOU POST THIS AS: Every six seconds.

Topic: Growing up, People changing like hell they do.

So here is my theory, on the bus home I have been contemplating all the factors that add up to people changing. people wont like it and probably wont agree with it so I warn you now.

Okay today I got a lecture about people growing up and people changing from Kaz and Jay. Basically, we saw charlotte today (Yeah I just had to say I would just laugh if charlotte was there) Its not that I hate her and want to hack her head off ... no I really don't. I just don't want to be anywhere near her.
They say people change as they get older. I don't believe that crap. Basically to change meaning the would change the way they are totally, think and react to to things, that they someway have to change their entire perspective, to your ideal. of to how you have wanted them to be changed. O r maybe not in to your ideal, just a person, which must be taken on as someone completely different.
Making all your wrongs that people find in you completely right.

You can't sit there and cater to every one's way they want to change you.

To me, that's impossible, so when people say they have changed I normally smile and say that's nice for them, but after a few months, this "change" wears away in to nothingness and here we are again, at the same old layer we first saw and started with and once again hated.

To me saying that people have changed, is like smoke and trickery. Illusions created in the inner intention to fool you. But pull away the smiles, and the fake laughter and the clothes and attitude and guess what you have got, the same old person you fell out once before.

So I understand this whole concept of being a christian to forgiving and forgetting, but the best way of forgiving and forgetting is keep away as far as possible,Yes, you can do all the pleasantries of hello and goodbye and so forth or how you would love to do you pleasantries. but also keeping away avoids these fake conversations about how you are? and what you are up to? because really behind all those little speeches is are hidden messages of that underlying need to be better than the other, or to show that we have grown this whole new personality and gained this whole new world and perspective on things and once again that precious word "changed"

But really its all fake.

I no longer want to do fake.

I no longer want to talk about the good old days and how we have all changed. Take chantelle prime example. she back came after her 30 second rape, nice clean clothes, unscratched, no dna under her fingernails and left . She then returns after months and months of not seeing her.

I've changed she exclaims as I first see her, I don't need men like shaun in my life. Funny enough, who is she with now and treating her like complete trash while he is cheating on her with his ex.... Oh right *looks over chantelle's shoulder* Oh Hi shaun.

So we may get older, facially, maybe we might grow to like different things, but one thing we keep, is how we make our friendships. how appreciate those around us, our main intention for that friend.

Friendships like I have had with a couple people in the past, I was a door mat. I help people do everything for them, even when I have things to be doing for myself. if they said "hey cordie I need your help could you...." I would be like yeah I was in the middle of something but I'll will help. But they would use my name as a scape goat. To know that "good old reliable cordie" would always
be there to help them in their time of need and disappear in her own.

So its not hatred, I just feel the further I stay away the more I can protect myself, for slipping back into old habits.

I would have tried to explain this to jay and Kaz, but its hard to get a word in sometimes and when I do, there is not point in it, so most of debating is not worth the hassle.


Okay I think I am done, Yep I think I am.

Howdy doodie nice people. Stop messing up naruto for me you baka's

First I am going to go on to a yey and hello all spree then after I am going to go into a rant. If you dont watch Naruto at all you may want to skip the second bit... Right *rubs hands together* time to start.

Hey all, I have got so many emails from people who stil keep an eye on this place, telling me that I need to write something new.Lol. AM I THAT ENTERTAINING? XD. Anyway, uni doesn't allow me to have the pleasures of being free to do anything that involves a social life... minus me drinking coke in the pub and watching my uni mates make complete prats out of them selves, which by the way I will get to see again next friday. Lol. I have to take pictures and show you these insane people.

Well I can happily say though, I have finished all my exams, they were hard *cries* Law was great, I felt I had done excellent in that and working in organisations, its just that darn quants and a bit of frigging economics which is worrying me a tad too much. Eveyone came out that exam with one word hanging from our trembling lips.... that word.... that great word was SHIT. Yes in a row 7 people said it. Then after there was this whole thing where everyone kept saying to everyone "I'll see you in retakes" lol.

If you haven't noticed... I have a new blog design, which may I add I did mysel, yeah same all design but is dedicated to sasuke, eventhough I hate the little fuck, he looks sooo cute in that pic, so I had to have him on here lol. Nadia already left me off liners praising the design (she's a sasuke fan girl.... Kakashi should kick some sense into that boys ass seriously Nads)and she litraly sending me kissing down webcam when I signed online,why? just because I used some certain music in the background.... anyone other than Nadia (yes you are not allowed to participate you heard me) who can tell me what music is the background? where it originates from? or whose theme it is? If you can I'll give you big hand claps on webcam lol. Also I look kinda emo in the pic of the week lol... Had to show off my konoha leaf village head band... lol I know sad... but nadia has one too, but she has the sound village one (you villian)lol. This is all toms fault he got me into this damn anime, and I'm watching it like 24/7 lol.


Other than that everything has been good, my exams are finally finished, I am free, only problem with that is that I need a job. I can't deal with another broke summer dude, it would drive me crazy. Although I have been going ebay crazy again ( I really have to stop that)Anyway on to my next point... these damn idiots who keep on spoiling shipuuden for me.

Right listen you stupid little crappy mongolian desert ratty I know what happens in the storyline next my dad works here there and everywhere shits (s'cuse the lang). Its nice that yo know what happens that good for you, but can you not put in a place where people generally dont wanna know. But right now I am up to date (finally) with naruto episodes and shipuuden and still waiting for episodes to load.

I've already found because of those dumbasses that

- sasuke kills orichemeru.
- Sasuke stabs and murders naruto in the end.
- That Gaara dies.
- Kakashi dies too ( nnooooo not my baby)

Is there any point of me watching it now, nope I didn't think so... I might as well move on to the next anime that brings slight interest because the rest of the season is just messed up.

But from season 1 to 9 anyone who hasn't watched it... (yes naruto is very annoying) but other than him the storyline is wicked.

Plus, because of people I keep on seeing Kakashi's face.... his real face without the mask.... very sad. He looks hot but I wanted to be a surprise lol.

Anyway I am done, with my litte geeky chat.In about 10 weeks I turn 20 ARGH....OMG ...I'M OLD.Must cling on to being a teenager for dear life.

what goes around comes back around... biatch I know everything about karma I run that biatch

Hey guys

Just generally on here to write something... I personally love the song (which is apparently about me ) next .. we all know it, its by JT and its called what goes around comes around. Alex (who is now trying the I hate you for what you have done to me approach) started an argument with me... telling me how much he loves me then posting me te lyrics to this song lol. Which I am just gonna pick apart and have fun with lol


Hey girl, is he everything you wanted in a man?
- well technically he wasn't a man, he was a boy. aint they much sweeter when they are ripe lol.
You know I gave you the world
- wow really you did, world bow before me I say, sniff the ground like the slaves you are.
You had me in the palm of your hand
- awww well aint that sweet I have held tissue in the palm of my hand too and wiped my ass with it.
So why your love went away
- It didn't I was just got fantastically drunk.. hmm the things alcohol does to ya *smiles*
I just can't seem to understand
- Martha anyone no? we all dont understand what a shocking time it must be for you.
Thought it was me and you babe
- Yea sure me and you my mum , my friends, your friends and my apparent lover *cracks up laughing*
Me and you until the end
- damn that sounds possesive and slightly stalker like (thinks about you) yep very fitting.
But I guess I was wrong
- hell frikking yeah.
Don't want to think about it
- dont then
Don't want to talk about it
- when you dont speak the world is a better place
I'm just so sick about it
- medicine anyone?
Can't believe it's ending this way
- well its just a darn shame babe innit?
Just so confused about it
- mmmmnmnmnmnmnmartha
Feeling the blues about it
- *laughs*
I just can't do without ya
- well I know that already you keep on mentioning that you wanna kill yourself because I am not in your life.
Tell me is this fair?
- hmm no not really but when you slapped me I deserved it but that wasn't fair.


Is this the way it's really going down?
- yep
Is this how we say goodbye?
- Yes again
Should've known better when you came around
- came around to where huh what I dont understand lol
That you were gonna make me cry
- *hugs* well next time when you are gonna cry tell me so I can run in the opposite direction.
It's breaking my heart to watch you run around
- run around with whom... oh him yeah I remember..
'Cause I know that you're living a lie
- living a lie wow harsh words.
That's okay baby 'cause in time you will find...
- food, chewing gum, the secrets to world peace,hitler, a clone of me, jaja binks what???!?

What goes around, goes around, goes around
- does it really
Comes all the way back around
- oooh can't wait.
What goes around, goes around, goes around
- *dances around in a circle*
Comes all the way back around
- yeah heard that already
What goes around, goes around, goes around
- damn okay I get the point
Comes all the way back around
- yesh yesh yesh comes around back around mmmhmmm
What goes around, goes around, goes around
*watches people kartwheeling around her* yeah it really does.
Comes all the way back around
- thankyou you finally finished .. oh wait oh crap he's still singing.
Now girl, I remember everything that you claimed
- what was that then?
You said that you were moving on now
- yes.... yes infact I am, wanna take a few pages out of my book?
And maybe I should do the same
- Yes I agree, I hate stakers and you are turning into one.
Funny thing about that is
- yeeeeeeeaaaaaaaaahhhh *aragorn style*
I was ready to give you my name
- I know but I dont think Corinne Fatone goes. Plus btw I have lost my ring.can't find it sorry about that.
Thought it was me and you, babe
- yeah me too...but on one cold winters night when you left me all alone in london I got naughty actually another thing it was more than once *smiles*
And now, it's all just a shame
- yes it is I agree.
And I guess I was wrong
- Well you wasn't wrong it was me and you, until you started being a prick.

Don't want to think about it
- oh here we go again
Don't want to talk about it
I'm just so sick about it
- give me a bucket and I will throw up at the cheesyness.
Can't believe it's ending this way
Just so confused about it
Feeling the blues about it
I just can't do without ya
- yep we know, you da knows, your sister knows, michael jackson and bubbles know.
Can you tell me is this fair?
- what that michael jackson and bubbles know, well I dont know, that's upto you personally

Don't want to think about it (no)
- go on think about it, I dare ya go on.
Don't want to talk about it
- apparently that's all you talk about these days.
I'm just so sick about it
- throw up and maybe you might feel better
Can't believe it's ending this way
- well neither can I
Just so confused about it
- what confused I didn't like your friggin rape "joke"
Feeling the blues about it (yeah)
- yeah well you should have thought twice about it
I just can't do without ya
- well I can do without you, I still love you though.
Tell me is this fair?
- kinda

Is this the way things are going down?
Is this how we say goodbye?
Should've known better when you came around (should've known better that you were gonna make me cry)
- I remember that day, I didn't know where to look now that I think back on it, it was quite funny.
That you were going to make me cry
- still doing that are we.
Now it's breaking my heart to watch you run around
'Cause I know that you're living a lie
But that's okay baby 'cause in time you will find

- back to this again.
What goes around, goes around, goes around
- more cartwheeling people
Comes all the way back around
What goes around, goes around, goes around
Comes all the way back around
- Yeah like that punch I gave you after you slapped me biatch.
What goes around, goes around, goes around
Comes all the way back around
What goes around, goes around, goes around
Comes all the way back around

[Comes Around interlude:]

Let me paint this picture for you, baby
- ooooh go on then I love pictures, I do, I friggin do.
You spend your nights alone
- nope I am usually with my normal mates or uni mates, or even my mum.
And he never comes home
- he who? *scared voice* There's a male living in my house? quick somebody call the police.
And every time you call him
All you get's a busy tone
- busy tone yeah blud always busy.
I heard you found out
- Yes My embarkment on finding hitler was very successful thanks for mentioning it.
That he's doing to you
What you did to me
- nope not really, since we aint together and it was just a few drunken nights
Ain't that the way it goes
- as I proved above your little theory is so ... what the word... wrong.

You cheated girl
- Still am genuinely sorry about that.
My heart bleeds girl
- stop bleeding on my nice clean floor.
So it goes without saying that you left me feeling hurt
- well I would say I did leave you feeling hurt, but imagine how I felt I couldn't wear my ring anymore.
Just a classic case
A scenario
Tale as old as time
Girl you got what you deserved
- I got what I deserved *looks around at her gleeming laptop,Mp3 player, new guitar, new phone,new clothes* yes I did thanks for that.
And now you want somebody
- nope not really, you guys are too much effort, but I heard you dont want anyone just want me.
To cure the lonely nights
- like I said nights filled with people
You wish you had somebody
- nope
That could come and make it right
- *laughs*
But girl I ain't somebody with a lot of sympathy
- well thanks anyway for trying
You'll see
- yey look at those monkey fly *somebody whispers in cordie's ear* I mean look at those monkey's swing.
(What goes around comes back around)
I thought I told ya, hey
- yeah I know... a few times above.
(What goes around comes back around)
I thought I told ya, hey
- that you weer gay I knew that too
(What goes around comes back around)
I thought I told ya, hey
- taht you friends are frikkin liars
(What goes around comes back around)
I thought I told ya, hey
- that you were a dumbass who likes the sounds of his own voice.
[laughs]
See?
You should've listened to me, baby
- Yes if I had listened to you I would be a fool.
Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah
- someone was just filling the time in this song.
Because
(What goes around comes back around)
[laughs]
- what you laughing at your the one who is miserable.

Anyway I am done people, just had to that. oh btw I finally got my new guitar but within a few hours of playing it I broke a steel string. So I have to buy more

Babes.. what?!? Can you get the britneys in?

Hey everybody, Hows it going? everything is good with me, yeyness. I have been okay just got the last bit of stuff to do with uni. revision and stuff to completeand a business plan which I have have to open up a business with Ozzie and fiona. A hairdressing shop lol.

Anyway, I got locked out of my house. Yes the lock just kept spinning around. We had to ask neighbours too help us get into our house. They gave us a screwdriver and basically the words of get to work came to mind lol. So anyway the guy that lives upstairs tried to get in through our kitchen window but of course it is too high up. So after my mum's much stubborn attitude (which is very often for her may I add) finally decided to call the locksmith.So we call up our landlord (who didn't give us his mobile number, but everyone else in the building has it) and is like I aint paying to get a locksmith. So we called the locksmith anyway... to cut a very long story short.
We called the first locksmith who decided to take an hour and an half to tell us that he couldn't someone out to us. Then we called a second company who took a long ass time to come. It was so long there are pictures of me by my door, falling asleep. lol.





Mr landlord who said he weren't payin for us to get in our house. Had to pay because we weren't paying for jack *laughs* So I got the invoice to say haha bizatch you had to pay (well that's not what it said exactly)

umm had a good two weeks holi off. David is still begging me to go download... it just aint happening I am going st.lucia mate. sun, sea and money at my fingertips.

What else, what else. The corinne and blessed feud still continues, Well today at the feast, he decided to tell me that I was a lazy bum and that if I didn't get off my ass he would spit in my face *laughs* I just laughed in his face. I didn't even bother with him. The feast though at church was great... minus the fact that sometimes I feel I uncomfortable being there, because they want me to dance and try and be part of them. Sometimes, I dunno I feel sepearate though.

I am trying to keep going to church, be more strong. lol

I didn't get much pics of the feast, but when brother lyndon gets his he will probably give me some.

Trying to move house and I am still looking.

My brother is finally out of prison.

The gang went to have chinese during uni break (easter/ reading week) and I couldn't finish food. Me and my black self couldn't finish jack.

I have an assignment to hand in which I am procrastinating on.

Money on thursday, oh yeahhhh bubs, the smexi one is going shoppin'

Buying a new phone after the one I have had for so long decided to give up on me... Poor thing.

Still trying to find a house.

Posting up this pic to make lex happy lol (the things I do for you):



Just thinking of how hunger is gonna strike me for a few days.

Anyway people Love ya but I gotta go and do this damn assignment. X X X

कोर्दिए लोवेस यू हर्द्कोरे

(cordie loves you hardcore)

Keep holding on.... Cus I know we'll make it through. I'll make through.

so I finally finished my three day fast and have been going very easy on foods and what not.

today one of my mums old friends tina came round... Now at times me and tina use to butt heads and she used to get on my right nerve. but then again there were times when tina was compasionate, lovely and generally sweet.

So the was all this enticipatiob being made up from my mum. Apparently, she was the one who made my mum "smile" again... HA. Anyway, so my mum goes to pick her up from the bus stop and then they arrive at the door. Tina has a baby (her baby is soooo cute) but anyway,she comes standing infront of me and I was like "hey tina, tina tina tina" and turns to me and gives me the most dirtest look ever and says "you haven't changed a bit" I felt so hurt because I was actually nice to her. Of course my mum wasn't paying attention she was too busy fuzzing over the baby.

So she looked over her shoulder again like why are you still standing there. I wass so angry that she was in my house and still managing to make me feel down about myself. What am I supposed to do, get a face transplant? totally change who I am because you want me too. I am a tomboy, yes I dont alway dress in higheels and random crap and friggin skirts. The funniest thing yeah, this damned woman hasn't changed either. She is still wearing skin tight clothes, her hair is still gelled down like no mans business. All that has changed about her is that she doesn't sound like she stepped right off the banana boat and has actually grasped our way of living. Damn she angered me.

Plus when my mum was like say hi to corinne she was like nah that's enough give him back now he needs to eat.

So I just kept myself at a distance, which envolves me sitting here writing this entry.

I only hope that tomorrow is this sunny, because I feel like sitting out in the sunshine with a couple of friends and just watching the day pass by and crank up some tunes in the park.

It's the way he is in your mind.

Pretty girl is suffering, while he confesses everything
Pretty soon she'll figure out what his intentions were about
She's beautiful as usual with bruises on her ego and
Her killer instinct tells her to beware of evil men

And that's what you get for falling again
You can never get 'em out of your head
And that's what you get for falling again
You can never get 'em out of your head


It's the way
That he makes you cry
It's the way
That he in your mind
It's the way
That he makes you fall in love

It's the way
That he makes you feel
It's the way
That he kisses you
It's the way
That he makes you fall in love

- Mixed Verses Pretty girl by Sugarcult


Alex came to see me on sunday.. it was call we stayed up all night chatting and laughing. My mum wasn't exactly around
so no restriction of time. So anyway, his sister is recovering a bit he told me. I am so happy about that, made me smile, I did jump on him
and hugged him because I was so please and just generally happy.

um i think I need some help ... I have become addicted to sailor moon live action. what is wrong with me. I have to stop going on youtube, its making me get in contact with my inner child.
that wills me to watch these things lol. Everyone knows I already, for some wierd reason liked mercury in the cartoon, damn she is hot and evil in the live action version *tries to shut self up* and tuxedo Kamen (tuxedo mask) also known as mamoru ( darien)
is *drools* anyway no-one can take the piss out of me because he was a cartoon because now he is real so ner to you.

been also watching loads of ugly betty *shakes head* and kitchen confidential (show cracks me up). I dunno I think I should stop watching tv. it makes me into this obsessive I must watch next episode person.

And can abc please release Alias season 5 on dvd... some who haven't seen it are itching too. (you see what I mean)

I really feel in the mood for a mocha frappachino and its like 02:02 in the morning. Okay ever since I have started uni I have become coffee and coke hooked (well coke has always been there.. and no not the coke you sniff).
I think its because of lecturers and everytime after a lecture someone always mentions lets go and get a coffee. lol.So when I am doing my two days no sleep. that is the only thing that keeps me alive and awake.Okay and random dancing around my room
but that's it lol.

going to see the symbo boys play on wednesday *w00t* get to jump around. I felt bad last time. Andy told me to come, he put me on the guestlist and everything and because of things that week I forgot to turn up lol. So everyone remind me wednesday... gig.

No offence but how come African guys keep stalking me and telling me they want to marry me and for me to have their kids. They can take me to see their parents in all different parts of africa, one even said take me back to my home town. As far as I know, my home town is either london, u.k or Vieux-fort st.lucia.
I mostly have asian in me. its doesn't show because of my dad. Some people can tell though, because my hair is softer most of the time without relaxer, and my eyes look like they have eyeliner around them sometimes, when they don't.

Apparently my mum thinks that I am going to get married to a white guy. She has a "feeling" I was like oh little do you know. lol

my brother comes out of prison in a few days... dont know whether to be excited or to think oh hey bro when you going in again and leave me here with your crap to sort out.

OTHER UPDATES.

+ uni is having a ball lol. That should be eventful

- No money... running really low. Must get new job, must get it quickly. Student loan comes in 3 weeks... hold on I say for dear life.

- I want to go download, but I got better things to pay money for. I can't believe that brigade weren't invited to do download *shouts at them* YOU GUYS SUCCCCKKKKK.

+ PS3 *W00TS* too expensive yes... come christmas things will be better. I love it how critics are like are you willing to pay £400 quid for ps3 or are you willing to pay £200 for xbox and I was like ummmm you guys are frikking stupid. Xbox was that same price its only because they wanted to be competative that they brought their prices down. Xbox knows it aint that good so they have to strive for damn sucess. Plus, damn its how the business goes right?

- JASMINE SEND OFF THAT DAMN POSTAL ORDER ALREADY. BEFORE I GET BLACK THINGIED ALREADY.I AM NOT CHANGING ACCOUNTS BECAUSE YOU HAVEN'T SENT IT OFF YET. I WILL KICK YOUR ASS CHILD.

Woah its funny how you can be happy one moment and just pissed off the next.

why are people always sensitive about what I say. I just say it to prove a point, but some people just cant except truth.People are always low blowing me when I do it back. Oh how dare you corinne. lets all just get pissy now. Its not fun when the tables are turned. Its okay to make you feel shitty about being who you are, but lets not do it to me. Oh lets carry on in the brilliance of taking the piss.

I dont understand it.

People are so annoying, I swear I can't be near others because I will snap at them. Well I'm just keeping my cool at the moment.

Might just stay indoors for a few days.

lol some girl called me emo at uni again yesterday morning. Guess why? My hair cut (you mean the haircut I didn't have)
My hair has always been this style it just hasn't been long enough to go over my eyes.Think back to the days when my hair could actually fit in a pony tail, there was a fringe,when I was college there was a fringe.Now it is everyone is like why are you getting your hair cut like that. omg the great abomination to the lord.
Plus, if anyone was to cut my hair. it would be my mother... Do you really think I would go to my mother, give me an emo hair cut. She would be like who, what and where?.. emo what is this devilish thing you speak of lol.
Love that woman she cracks me up at times.

To prove a point not that most people care anyway:















I need a holiday, a break. From everyone. From the moaning constantly, the complaints and yada yada yada. I dont wanna hear it right now.

I have my own shit to deal with. I'm sure if I tell ya about it. I just tell you for the sake of telling you.

tired of being a passive smoker, when I wake up in the morning my breathing is terrible. Alex picked up on it before. I used to wheeze in the morning. Its coming back again.

Oh god I'm winging again lol... oh get use to it , exams are nearly here and I am procrastinating like never before.

Might go away and not tell anyone I'm going, minus my mum and maybe a few people (still deciding on that)but yeah just as soon as my break comes... I making a clean break and having some fun.

alex is coming down next week, I dunno why, he just said he was. So is David this sounds be interesting, well for you guys not for me.

I'm getting shell like again. I think I am out of practice of being sociable,bitchy and sociable all wrapped one fantastic package.

wanna get more serious about church. I can see some people going (That's if you aint already)

To sum up this entry southeast and it peeps are drying me up.

Now to end this entry up on a nice happy note. *takes shirt off and starts swinging it around my head* wooooooooo

Okay I am done... and to all my special friends *slap* lol

GO GO EMO RANGERS

howdy everyone. Um not feeling good today, its that time of month, plus it is damn freezing in my house for some reason. The other day, me and Kaz found a video mighty moshin' emo rangers.... lol there are actually full episodes *laughs head off* but its just friggin funny, they even have merch out... I so wanna get a shirt... it just makes me laugh. anyway here's the intro the mighty moshin emo rangers lol...



People keep callin me emo(eventhough I aint depressed, I dont go around complaining about my hard ships of life and live in some damn middle class family, with a caring family,I dont cut,Dont wear those frikkin skinny jeans, or walk around with eyeliner like a damn panda, or wear those damn red ribbons in my hair, I just listen to their music and write angsty poetry that is only because I am touch with those felings more.. actually that sounds like I am trying to justify it, so never mind.) I could be token black emo ranger... Token black emo ranger has the power to jack the enemy without them noticing.lol, enough or stupid rambling.

Anyway, I am a bit pissed off today, because of the state my laptop is in. I left it at issa house got home with it and there are scratches on this laptop I have never seen before, greasy finger prints all over the keys and the screen, and damn tea marks over the keys, where the speakers are and the touch pad is as sticky as hell. So once again corinne is a fool for trusting people with her stuff.Plus, someone was trying to crack into my myspace account and it locked me out. Oh well.

Anyway, I am cold, rolling in agony and tired. Man uni is stressin me slightly. I have so much going on I am just trying to get a firm grip on everything. I have 3 assignments to hand in and one portfolio and then I am done for the year. *still got emo rangers theme tune stuck in my head* *hits self*.

bought some new shoes, going paintballin on sunday *w00ts* with friends from uni. oh yeah blud. Still tryin gto look for a new job where my manager isn't a perve.

All stalkers are slowly dying away yey. Life is so peaceful without them. A day without mohammed rubbing himself against me is a good day, any day when he doesn't look at me is even better. Shame the second one doesn't happen, but yeah he has finally left me alone, now all I have to deal with is toks. He is a harder stain to shift.

Feel like going to see brigade or symbo.. dunno. Ah well when I have cash.

Taken my exstentions out and I am ugly again lol. Happy thing though about it, my hair has grown yey.

what other things...

+ apparently my new name is nancy
+ My imvu character is a damn hooker and likes to show off her crotch to anyone who wishes to view it.
- I get my student loan in 36 days... oi people I am dying here lol. I want my holiday and my new guitar you know lol.

and for some reason I cannot be bothered to finish this entry. So I am out bye people xxxx

If your computer catches a virus while downloading porn, is that still counted as an std?/ I can't believe you are cheating on me... with your wife.

Hey everyone *waves like mad* How are we all? hope you are good. Just giving a little update, since I haven't given one in ages for you all who still check this thing. You must love my ass. Thanx for sticking 'round and yada yada yada. (Yeah that really showed my appreciation *shakes head*)

Anyway, things have been good. Uni, I love this place. Minus the work load and certain ecspecailly this person below...



This is fiona. I mean I didn't like her at first, then I grew to like her. Now I like her but I don't.
Reasons being:

She is so fashion concious it hurts.. I mean she is like going around asking everyone why they aren't in skinny jeans (ewwwww.). SKINNY JEANS SUCK ASS MAN.
She is always saying stuff like oh that person is so ugly and why are they wearing that and yada yada.
She is always talking about her inheritance and how much money she has.She depends on her 'rents too much , that if they left her for one day, she would commit suicide because she would be so clueless
She lies like a professional
She is a user
A fake. *dances around* Just look at me, look at me nooooowwwww... I'm a fake, I'm a fake.
There are so many things that I dislike about this girl. I can't believe I actually once upon a week ago considered her as a friend.

Anyway, couldn't go to a lew tutorial and I told sandra to take my baby (my mp3player) and record the tutorial for me. Since I would be in the library trying to finish off my Working in orgz assignment.
So sandra took my mp3 player and recorded the tutorial. Little did miss fiona know that, that happened. So when I was just about to start my law Assignment (oh I love law. Its so interesting) I thought I would listen to the tutorial to get some ideas. I heard fiona saying to my lecturer, that she didn't think I was going to pass Law, that I was not capable of completing this course. That she is better than me in all subjects. Telling my lecturer that I am bunking the tutorial because I couldn't be bothered to come.That she gave me notes from the last tutorial and I couldn't understand them.
As you can Imagine when I heard this, my mouth was like hanging... This is the reason why. In Law and other subjects, I have to help fiona, take time and sit with her in the library to explain crap to her. In working in Orgz we had a TCA I had the 2 highest score out of my business group, and the girl never gave me no notes, she just said that I had to be in lecture to understand them. When I also insisted on her giving me the notes she happily declined.

So I then started my law assignment and stayed up all night to do it. So When I got to uni I could find the rest of my cases and acts to cite. Sign it in and go home. So I got to the library after staying up all night. I come across fiona in the library. Guess what, girl has just started the assignment is now asking me for help. This is where my plan came in... but I wont discuss it here.
So I went about doing my work, she started carrying books to me, sucking up, being nice, just so I would help her. I outlined what she had to do and I helped her no further. I acted like nothing was wrong as everyone knows, I am damn great at.
I was talking to sandra and Aj about it. Lets just say certain things are already in motion.

To all the people who thought my life shattered into a million pieces (let me have time to tell you it didn't it was hardly an indent) when they left this is for you *laughs*:
And also to my close knit of friends this is a update that you probably already know hehe:

Things are good. I am moving again soon by the end of this month. I only have one more assignment to do for the rest of this year *w00ts*.

I am actually third in the whole uni, its a system they have to make their students work harder and I am third. Go cordie, go cordie.

I am going paintballing in two weeks with my uni mates. omg I can just imagine the war there is going to be. lol.

I am actually a christian now. Lol scary stuff I know. I do sometimes still havbe the tendancy to swear, but its a bond I need to break.

I don't drink anymore. If I do have a drink, I dont drink to get drunk. (Yeah I know everyone is saying, well what's the point then. Drinking gets tierd after a while. but for the new people, have your fun while it lasts lol)

I might have a job as a training Legal executive when I leave uni.
Apparently I am a guy magnet at the moment. Everyone must be on drugs because everyone fancies me. Honestly, I keep asking Kaz is everyone going crazy, has everyone lost their minds lol.

Buying a new guitar by the end of next month.YEEEEAAAHHH BABY MONEY SPENDAGE LOL.
Might be have a get together for my 20th. God I feel so old. I act so mature now, its actually starting to scare me. I mean I have my moments when I regress for a while.

I found out that Jay (yes jasmine) watches the bratz tv programme on a regular basis. aWWWWW. LOL.

Might be travelling around u.k come summer and maybe america, if I am lucky. I'll be going Scotland,Manchester (david is planning to stay up there),dorset,Yorkshire (yey vic mate another visit coming your way.Awww this time I can't jack any posters outside the cinema in the town :(lol),leed and a few others.

oh and do you remember in Buffy, the becoming part 2 where willow started chanting in her evil crazed eye way. The fact that I had watched that episode so many times the incantation got stuck in my head. Well guess what I found out it actually does mean something. Its latin. I thought it was.

Te implor doamne, nu ignora accasta rugaminte! niche morth niche althientay. Lasa orbita sa fie vasul care i va transporta sufletul la el![I CALL ON YOU, GODS, DO NOT IGNORE THI SUPPLICATION!LET THE ORB BE THE VESSEL TO CARRY HIS SOUL TO HIM!] este scris, aceasta putere este dreptul poporuil meu de conduce [IT IS WITTEN, THIS POWER IS MY RIGHT TO WIELD] Asa sa fie! Acum [LET IT BE SO! NOW!] lol I was speaking Latin all this time lol.


Things are turning out to okay, really okay.

anyway people, I am off. I may comment again... or just add to this one.

Niggahs I love ya like a fat guy loves cake xxx

yeah I so what if I put a bomb in the lecture hall

Hey guys umm this is a video based entry. Um basically I have been on you tube all night doing my daily downloading... lol

anyway I actually went of episodes of mutant x and I remember having the argument with random people that victor webster (coup from charmed) looked better as brennan from Mutant x. I mean he was hotttt in mutant x I think it was the whole electricity thing. *sighs*
even though brennan and emma have never been a couple in mutant x... these two videos looks like they should have been because shalimar was just a skank. lol... but anyway coup filled videos below.






The next one is this funny, but stupid comedy thing basically she is taking the piss out of emo's by becoming one herself lol. It cure my minutes of boredom lol you just have to watch it the first one about the dust I was like wth? I must admit she is pretty most guys are gonna like her. The first one is called "the words are dying" and the second one is called "hiders and seekers" lol





enjoy... this video is about martha I am telling you.

Let it be I say, let it be

Hey everyone... Guess what... I finished my 7 days fast and am now on fruit and stuff. I have lost weight because apparently with fasting you lose like a pound a day lol. So I have a flat stomach and little appetite and I have to have 4 ounces (8 table spoons) of food every 4 hours.. I can't rush and eat it will damage me .

So anyway.. I am feeling good today.. I mean I had an experiance today adn for the first time I understood why mum was so happy in being a christian. I dont know what it was today but while everyone was in tounges, I felt my tongue become loose, my stomach started to feel there was something in it and I could feel this presence in my throat. I also starting crying uncontrollably.Funniest thing through out it all I felt so much joy. I am actually starting to believe. I am goign to become a more dedicated christian.. Scary eh? but for me , peaceful.

I do though have to train my thoughts, because around a certain person. I get all day dreamy and I am not kidding its getting the worst of me.

I've just finished having some foos and I got uni in the morning.

This week alone, has been a strange but insightful week.

I wish I could makeyou guys understand more clearly, but maybe if you guys try it you may understand more clearer... I dunno. Anyway people I am off. Love ya all x x x





oh also it was my mum's bday on saturday. I got her a footspa and a card she loves it. A person from church got her loads of ballons saying happy bday and her name on it.. look at her doesn't she just look so happy ...awwwwww.

Today is my day to shine *smiles*

Hey everyone ... just thought I write another message. I dunno why...

Um updates :

I am on my 3rd day of fasting so far so good... I got 4 more days, I have lost a bit of weight already. My jeans are kinda sliding off me. Water has become my favourite friend. lol.

It's valentines day today... yey for all you couples have a great night tonight. I was supposed to be going on a cruise party today with my uni friends, but because of the fasting, I am kinda weak. Plus, my mum thought it would be very unfair to me.. if I was there while everyone was eating so sorry guys, tell me about it tonight when you get back.

I also got invited to the London MCM expo... by one of my deviant art friends... the very few I have. lol.. there will be a dev meet there so... all the people and deviant art members, make a show even for the party. Cus I know I will be... Plus, *cries* I must run upto and hug Zaku or even deathsy. Okay I have just became 12 again lol.

um what else what else... umm... can't think of anything and I had so much to say at the beginning.

Anyway... Happy V day people and happy birthday sister rose x x x

damn nigger.... its well freezing up in here...

Ok my boiler broke yesterday, so I had to sleep in the freezing cold. These people said they were going to come and fix this boiler... at 8 in the morning today... So I wait patiently. It is now 15:01 and these niggas still aint at my doorstep lol.

So I am sitting here in the freezing cold... honestly... freezing my ass off. My fan heaters arent working... and there is just snow outside my windows lots of it.

I am tierd and cold, and have to finish tons of work... But I aint down... I am happy.

Um Just finished having a convo with about him showing me his dick and he was angry because I wouldn't show him anything... what do you think this is free friggin porn. I aint one of your net sluts. He is a nice guy but sometimes he pisses me off... get use to the fact that aint showing you jack. Hell no I aint lowering myself to please you ass oh please.

Um I have put a new pic and video today... Might change my blog by next week. I wont have anything else to do. Also next week I will be fasting for 7 days... Yesh seven days. I may be a little skeletal after it lol. My new pic is of me and my older brother Thomas... who I got to see yesterday, who actually stood in my bedroom and hung out with me. He hasn't done that in ages... that could be because he is in prison. But he was allowed a home visit for four days, but he stayed with my dad *shakes head*after all that man put your through. Anyway it is his choice. The video is of my mate Ajnoop (Aj) we were in the disney store after uni and he decided to try and play with a hula hoop. He was putting so much concentration into it... it was just funny to watch shame I only got only a few seconds of him trying to.

I'm still working on my gallery but until then... I have a crappy bravenet one in its place.

I wanted a picture of the snow this morning ... but I couldn't be bothered to go to argos for decent batteries lol.

I have a quants exam next week. I might have the change to work as a legal exec.. My lecturer sees potential in me apparently.

Going on a cruise party for valentines day hopefully with uni mates. But I wont be eating because of fasting *cries* and its my mums bday.. I am not too sure what i am getting her yet plus, ever valentines day not matter how wierd it must look to others I always buy her a card and flowers lol. Then piss off. lol

um in January I went to go and see my friends band Symbo (unusual name for a band everyone says, but don't take that away from their sound) I got in free (yeah dude) and Jasmine and Kaz had to pay. Andy, my mate is having another gig soon.. I wanna go but I have an exam the next day *cries* I really wanna go. *sobs* check em out www.myspace.com/symbomusic another band was playing before them called the cutaway or soemthing like that.... but I swear the front man sounded like dave from inme... it was some scary shizzle.

Listening to the blackout again (ooooh the emoness)

On a strange High today, which means I should meet up with my friends.

Probably read my bible on the train... Yeah don't look at me like that.

Eating some stir fry my mum made... Thank you god, for my chef of a mother. lol

Anyway guys... have fun whatever you are doing this week and next ... cus I know I will...

Loveya

x x x x x